So Easy To Love

This wasn't like me at all. I didn't jump into a pool while I was half naked with a boy I had been secretly in love with for I don't even know how long. But I had some liquid confidence and as soon as I hit the water everything seemed to be okay. Like I was supposed to be doing this and nothing bad was going to happen. I had to be optimistic at this point because being shy wasn't going to get me anywhere. It hadn't gotten me anywhere. This was me trying to be confident. Once I surfaced I noticed Oliver had already done so and was slowly making his way over to me. I swallowed down all of my nervous energy and smiled once he was right in front of me.

"I told yeh tha water was fine," he grinned.

"You were right," I smiled with a short nod. I soon got tried treading water and slowly swam over to the shallower end where I was able to stand on my tip toes. Oliver followed me and placed himself directly in front of him, a look of wonderment on his face.

"I didn't fhink yeh would do this," he admitted.

"Me either, to be honest," I grinned. "But I felt like taking a risk."

"What's risky 'bout jumpin' inta a pool wiff some tattooed bloke yeh've known fer years?" He joked with me.

"Well you could try and kill me!" I exclaimed overdramatically.

"Yeh fhink I'd try and kill yeh, eh?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

"You might," I said, my voice deadpan. He looked at me oddly for a few seconds, like he thought I was telling him the truth and once I laughed he began to look confused. "I'm not being serious Oliver," I giggled.

"But wha' if I am tryin' to kill yeh?" He asked me seriously. My eyes grew wide and I gave myself one big push off the bottom of the pool.

"Then I'd swim away!" I called over my shoulder as I began swimming in the opposite direction quickly. I could hear Oliver splashing behind me so I began to push myself harder, and just as I thought I had gotten to the end of the pool I felt him tug on my foot and pull me under the water. Once I was under he let me go and I thought I was home free until he placed both hands on either side of my neck and pulled my face to his. I nearly had a heart attack when I felt his lips on mine, but tried desperately to play it cool and wrap my arms around his neck. He held me close to him, and kissing underwater was a brand new experience to me.

Once we finally surfaced he quickly pinned me against the wall of the pool and kept me there, kissing me fiercely. His lips were quick and soft against my own, and his fingers pressed into my hips hungrily, pulling me closer to him than I ever thought possible. It was only something I had dreamt about before, his lips on top of mine, his hands all over me. I almost didn’t have time to fully comprehend that this really all was happening. My head was swirling and before I knew it his forehead was pressed against my collarbone and we were both breathing heavily.

"What's wrong?" I asked awkwardly.

"I can't do this," he mumbled, pushing himself away from me. He placed his hands on the edge of the pool and hoisted himself out quickly, leaving me to follow his actions (although I struggled quite a bit more).

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I can't do this!" He repeated, a hint of anger in his voice.

"What? Why?" I pressed on.

"Because I'm goin' ta hurt yeh Blair," he turned around to me slowly, his honey eyes full of resentment and pain. I couldn't quite understand what he meant and I could only imagine how confused I looked.

"What?" My voice was meek, timid again.

"Yeh don't understand," he told me, shaking his head. "Yer fragile Twitch," he said. "I'm only gonna hurt yeh. I'm no good fer yeh."

"Yes you are," I told him quietly.

"No," he said sternly. I reached out to touch him but he quickly flinched away from my reach. "Jus' don't touch me, yeah?"

"Oliver, I think we should ta-"

"No! There's nofhing ta talk about! This can't 'appen again," he said, pointing an accusing finger my way.

"Oliver," I practically whimpered as I slowly made my way towards him. But for every step I took forward, he took one back. He quickly leaned down and gathered the clothes he had previously shed, holding them close to his chest as he gave me one last long look. It was hard to identify how he was feeling; it seemed as if every emotion I could name was flashing through his eyes at the moment and that just left me confused. I wanted to know how he could from acting like he couldn't live without me to basically shunning me in just a few minutes.

"I'm serious Blair," he said sternly, his jaw slightly clenched. "I can't jus' go kissin' yeh like yer jus' some bird. I wouldn' be able ta control myself." He paused for a moment to sigh and rake his colorful fingers through his wet locks. His hair ended up standing on edge and he just looked so fucking adorable standing there, all distraught looking. I wanted to run up to him, hold him, hug him, kiss him again. Oh my God. He kissed me. Suddenly I felt lightheaded as I thought of his lips on my own and I let my fingertips lightly touch my bottom lip, to make sure it was all real. "Jus'...don't follow me," he instructed me with a sigh before turning around and stalking off in the other direction. I assumed he was heading back in the direction of the bus, so I wasn't sure how exactly I wasn't supposed to follow him if I lived there too.

My thoughts were cut short as everything he told me rushed to my mind. "I can't jus' go kissin' yeh like yer just some bird. I wouldn't be able ta control myself." Oh my god. "I'm only gonna hurt yeh. I'm no good fer yeh." Was this all real? Or was I just in some horribly realistic dream? Had Oliver kissed me and then tried to convince me he was going to shatter me if we continued? No. This couldn't all be real. And then I looked up to see Oliver still walking away from me and it all hit me, and quite hard. Tears prickled the backs of my eyes and I hurriedly gathered my clothes, pulled my dress over my head and began to do exactly what he told me not to- run after him.

By the time I finally caught up with him he was already approaching the bus and I pushed myself harder to catch up with him before he opened the door. Just as he was reaching for the door handle, I grabbed his forearm and tugged it slightly, getting him to face me.

"Oliver," I began with a long gulp. "What happened back there?"

"I told yeh not ta follow me!" He roared, backing me up against the bus. He got right in my face, his wet hair dripping on me as he continued to yell. His forehead was against mine and unlike before there was nothing cute about this. He was actually screaming at me, yelling at the top of his lungs, his voice almost conjuring the growl he got when he was on stage."Do yeh 'ave any idea wha' I could do ta yeh?!" He yelled. "Stay away from me Blair!"

"Aye! Wha' tha hell is goin' on out 'ere?!" Matt Nicholls' voice boomed above Oliver's and the flood of light that had evaded the night was a clear indicator that the door to the bus had been opened and more problems were about to occur. I guessed that everyone had since retreated to the bus and they were all probably wondering where Oliver and I had gone off to. "What're yeh doin' ta Blair, mate?!" Matt's eyes went wide when he saw how close Oliver was to me and how clearly angry he looked. I guessed that whoever was on the bus had heard Oliver screaming at me, and considering the last few times Oliver had gotten angry things didn't turn out too well, I assumed they automatically thought the worst. Immediately Matt descended upon Oliver, grabbing his shoulders and yanking him off of me.

Me, well I was still in a slight daze from the kiss, the remarks, the yelling. It was all too much for me. Everything was sort of hazy from then on. It was like I was there, but I wasn't really present in everything going on around me. It all just seemed so far away and I simply couldn't think straight. Matt was asking me if Oliver had hurt me, Oliver was storming back onto the bus, and me, I was just reliving the kiss over and over again.

“Blair, wha’ ‘appened?” Matt asked, his voice much more soothing now that Oliver was out of sight.

“Nothing,” I said airily, a stupid sort of smile on my lips. Matt furrowed his eyebrows at me, confused beyond doubt I’m sure. I mean, I didn’t know too many people who were able to get yelled at as viciously as I had just been and then be able to smile dumbly.

“Why was ‘e yellin’ at yeh like tha’ then?” He tried another question, obviously hoping for a legitimate answer this time.

“Because,” I just shrugged, hitting my arm into his as I walked past him.

“Everyone’s gone fuckin’ mental!” Matt yelled.

And that might have been the most accurate assessment made all night.