So Easy To Love

The day after the kiss I knew things were going to be awkward. Although everyone had tried to interrogate me when I finally climbed onto the bus, I didn't tell them anything. Instead I just stood there in a daze while I barely registered the questions being thrown at me from every which way and then slowly retreated to my bunk where I laid awake most of the night with a goofy smile on my face. But as the night slowly turned into day and I could feel the bus stop moving beneath me, signaling the beginning of another day I could slowly feel my heart sink lower and lower into my stomach. Suddenly the memories of his soft pink lips moving perfectly against mine were replaced with the awkward moments I would surely endure for perhaps the rest of my life. Once I saw the morning light start to shine softly against the curtain of my bunk I groaned lightly and placed my palms against my eyes, rubbing them softly. It was just another night without sleep for me, something I had surprisingly gotten used to.

I began to chew on my bottom lip quite fiercely as I twirled a piece of my deep red hair around my fingers and conjured up the most ridiculous scenarios in my head of what was going to happen when Oliver and I finally saw each other again. As the thoughts ran through my head though, I couldn't help but notice how every time I tended to over think things they turned out to far exceeded my expectations whether they were worse or better than I had originally thought. So as the final thought of Oliver physically picking me up and tossing me off the moving bus passed through my brain I finally decided to get out of my bunk and start a pot of coffee. I drank two cups before putting a bra on and throwing my hair up into a very ratty looking bun on the top of my head and venturing off to grab the schedule. As per usual, I bumped into Josh quite literally and was greeted by his enormous grin that seemingly spread from ear to ear.

"Uh, hi," I smiled, blushing and already feeling awkward by the way he was eyeing me. At first he didn't say anything, only bothering to give me the up and the down a few times while the smile stayed attached to his lips. Because he wasn't answering me and because I was very obviously staring at his stupid grin I couldn't help but notice how much his face had cleared up since Oliver had threw the punch heard 'round the world. His black eyes were faded into a gross shade of yellow and his nose looked much better. It was so surreal to notice these things and then let my memories wander back to that night. It seemed that it had been a lifetime ago when in reality it had only been about two weeks.

"I heard you kissed Oliver," he smiled, swinging his arms back and forth like a little kid. My jaw immediately dropped and my eyes were like saucers as I stared up at him. How the fuck did he know that? From what I knew, Oliver had stomped into the back lounge and locked himself in there, unwilling to answer the door for even his brother. How Josh, who had been traveling on an entirely different bus, already knew this information when I was sure no one on my bus even knew the events that had transpired last night baffled me really.

"I- what? But you weren't even....how the fuck do you know that?" I finally hissed at him, my eyes frantically darting around us to make sure no one was picking up on our conversation.

"I know a lot of things," Josh smirked. "So how was it?" He almost squealed. I arched an eyebrow at him. "Just tell me about it!"

"You sound like girl, Josh," I informed him, as if he didn't already know. At least, I hoped he knew. I pushed past him and continued to walk despite the constant calls of my name. Somehow though, he managed to jog his way ahead of me and then just planted himself in front of me, matching my step and making it impossible for me to get around him. Finally I heaved a sigh, lifted my arms up in a shrug and then let them fall to my side again, and looked up at him helplessly.

"Just tell me," he insisted.

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because it didn't end well, that's why," I informed him. I wasn't sure if he knew this information yet. Obviously he had heard about the kiss, from Oliver I was assuming, but I wasn't sure if he had told Josh every single detail that followed the kiss.

"Oh?" He asked.

"Don't play dumb Josh," I rolled my eyes as I quickly dodged passed him. I made my way to the bus without much of an interruption after that and when I arrived Flip was just walking off the bus with Tom to start setting up the tents.

"Howdy," Flip smiled, tipping the brim of his fitted cap. I laughed lightly at him and smiled back.

"'ow 're yeh?" Tom asked in a small voice as Flip began walked around the bus to grab the tents.

"I'm fine, why?"

"Don't play dumb wiff meh," he looked off into the distance before focusing his blue eyes on me.

"I'm not playing dumb Tom," I reassured him with a small smile. He wasn't buying it, I could tell before he let the next words slip out of his mouth.

"Obviously somefhing 'appened las' nigh'."

"Stuff happens every night."

"Somefhing bad," he narrowed his eyes, getting fed up with the fact I wasn't giving him the details he wanted.

"I guess," I shrugged.

"Dammit Blair!" He cursed loudly, running his fingers through his hair much like his brother did when he was frustrated. "Jus' tell meh wha' 'appened! Oli's bein' a twat again an' we all 'eard 'm screamin' at yeh las' nigh'. And yeh haven't stopped walkin' 'round wiff that weird look on yeh face since las' nigh'." I blushed a deep shade of red as I clasped my hands tightly behind my back, trying to keep the memories of last night out of my head. And then all at once it happened.

Oliver stepped out of the bus slowly, his hair sloppy and sticking up in every which way. A loose black shirt of his own brand hung off his skinny frame and let his colorful tattoos that adorned his chest peak out, a large pair of red basketball shorts hung loosely off of his hips and from the bags under his eyes it was clear he hadn't gotten much, if any, sleep last night. Our eyes locked and it was like I was thrust back into last night. When I looked at his face all I thought about was how his lips danced across mine, and when I looked at his hands all I could think about was how there were tiny bruises from his fingers digging into my hips so hard. Suddenly everything was so real and my body was so light and I just felt everything. I don't know how long we stood staring at each other, and honestly I don't care. But what felt like all too soon I wasn't looking back into his honey eyes and his figure was slowly retreating away from me once again.

"Wha' tha fuck was tha'?" Tom spat, getting into my face and replacing Oliver's honey eyes with his baby blue ones. I immediately jerked my head backward and blinked a few times as I just stared blankly at the younger brother.

"What was what?"

"Yer drivin' me mental!" Tom yelled before stalking off in the direction Flip had walked off too a few minutes before. I just sighed, diverting my eyes away from the bus and then glancing off into the direction Oliver had walked off too. I wondered if I should try and follow him, ask him about last night, try and get some answers. You know, what normal people would do. But I wasn't normal. And neither was Oliver for that matter. Judging on his attitude as of late I knew I would just be verbally bashed I honestly wasn't sure if I was emotionally ready for that yet.

I had learned early on in knowing these boys that Oliver was perhaps the most reckless of the group, which is probably way he had gotten the word tattooed on him forever. Though he was nearing 24 years old, he acted nowhere near his age. Especially when it came to his emotions. And really, Oliver only had two emotions: happy and angry. There was really no in-between. At least not that he let anyone see. So as of now, he was going through an angry stage. It was just something I, as well as his band mates, had learned to deal with. So he hadn't learned to emotionally mature like everyone else, so what? There were worse qualities to have, I'm sure.

So I just went about my day as normally as I possibly could. Every so often I'd run into Tom and he'd once again try and force me into telling him what happened but I wouldn't let a single word pass my lips about it. By the end of the day he actually seemed to be pretty angry with me so when everything was finally packed away on the bus, including band members and crew, I finally pulled Tom off the bus and stood outside as I explained to him the events of last night. After all, I figured if I couldn't confined in my best friend this was slowly going to eat at me.

"And then Matt came out and...I dunno," I shrugged finishing my story. "I haven't talked to him since."

"I seriously fhink 'e's insane," Tom stated, eyes wide.

"He's not insane, he's just...." I struggled to find the proper word.

"Insane," Tom filled in the blank and I just laughed lightly. "I'm bein' serious Blair! Who does tha'?"

"Oliver, clearly."

"Tha's not an excuse!" He yelled at me. "I'm sick of yeh defendin' 'm. Sometimes 'e's a douche. 's okay ta say it."

"He's just...misunderstood."

"I fhink yer insane too," Tom said his voice monotone.

"Tom..."

"'ow can yeh jus' say tha' Blair? Oliver fuckin' treated yeh like shit, made yeh fhink eighty different fhings in one nigh' and yer jus' gonna stand 'ere and tell me 'e's misunderstood?" Tom asked me angrily. I honestly didn't have anything to say to him. Unlike Oliver, Tom rarely got mad. He was such a fucking happy kid, nothing ever seemed to bother him enough to get him angry. "Yeh can't jus' let 'm treat yeh like tha', Blair," he added, a much softer tone lacing his words this time. "Yer better than tha'."

Maybe Tom was right. I wasn't so sure about the "better than that" part yet, but the other parts sort of made sense. Maybe it was a little messed up that despite the way Oliver treated me after the kiss I was still smiling. Maybe it was a little messed up that I was forever defending his at times unexplainable behavior. But that's how things had always been. And I think that's how people who were in love acted. Over looking flaws, you know, that whole thing. Clearly Tom thought otherwise though and he wasn't too happy about it.

"I'm doing the best I can, okay?" I finally sputtered out, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as I pathetically defended myself.

"Do better," Tom insisted. "Because Oli clearly doesn't know wha' 'e's missin'," he added in a low voice, his eyes focused over my shoulder. And just from the look in his eyes, I knew. Maybe it was the best friend thing, or maybe it was because I knew how Oliver went about dealing with things. As I slowly swiveled my torso around to see what Tom's eyes were fixated on I wasn't surprised in the least bit. But that didn't mean my heart didn't plummet deep down into my stomach as my eyes drank in the scene before me.

Oliver didn't acknowledge me as he drunkenly stumbled passed me, but Lizzie tossed me a bright smile. It wasn't even condescending, just a simple innocent smile you would use to greet a friend.

"Hey Blair," she nodded towards me. "Tom," she added as she looked over at him. My eyes followed them all the way up the stairs of the bus and when I looked back at Tom he was wiping away tears I didn't even know were spilling down my cheeks. It was like the kiss had made me numb to any emotion but happiness. As things began to sink in though, I felt a familiar pang in my heart and the twisting in my stomach.

"I told yeh 'e was a complete twat," Tom said softly.

"No," I shook my head. "He's just confused is all."

Tom just sighed deeply and I knew he thought I was being an idiot, but he hugged me anyway. And I hugged him back. And we stood like that until the bus driver yelled at us to hop on before he drove away without us.