So Easy To Love

I wasn't a big drinker and because of my small frame that made me a lightweight. So the fact that I was already three drinks into the night, already having downed two shots of Jack Daniels with Kean and Jona before leaving the bus, it was safe to say I was pretty drunk.

Being drunk brought out a completely different side of me. A side people rarely saw because I rarely got drunk. I was loud and outgoing when I was intoxicated, and the boys always seemed to get a kick out of my new personality they named "Mary". So with a can of beer in my hand I was stumbling around the medium sized group of people that had gathered outside of the buses for a party.

"Tommy!" I called loudly, a wide smile on my face. I giggled lightly and threw my arms around his neck, hanging there for a second before I steadied myself on my feet.

"Mary's out tonigh'!" He called out to everyone, the members of Bring Me the Horizon, those of them who were around, all smiled and held their beers up to the sky, cheering me on. I sent them a lopsided smile as I titled my head backwards and nearly lost my balance. "Gez, yer proper tanked," Tom told me.

"Mmmhm," I murmured, my fingers wandering aimlessly across his tee-shirt clad chest.

"Why are yeh so drunk?" He asked me in a low voice. "'s not 'cause of tha' dumb bird from before, is it?"

"He doesn't love me," I pouted, my eyes welling up with tears. Tom quickly cupped my face with my hands and brought it close to his own in a scolding sort of manner.

"Don't yeh dare," he instructed me. My pout quickly turned into a smile at the sound of Tom's words and I let my arms fall to my sides.

"I'm going to find Josh," I told him.

"Good," Tom nodded. "Maybe 'e can knock some sense inta yeh Mary."

"My name isn't Mary!" I yelled over my shoulder as I stumbled to find that other English lead singer.

Even in my drunken state I was still able to find Josh quite easily. He had been chatting with someone I didn't recognize but as soon as he saw me walking over to him he excused himself from the conversation and met me half way. He was smiling widely, like he was almost giddy I had come to find him before he had to find me. And I had to admit, his smile was adorable. It was childlike in a way, and I couldn't help from smiling as well.

"'Ello," he greeted me, giving me a large bear hug in which I eagerly returned.

"Hi Joshy," I smiled dumbly.

"Had a little to drink, have we?" He grinned knowingly.

"Just a little," I said in a high pitched voice as I held my thumb and pointer finger close together.

"You're cute when you're tanked," he joked.

"Thanks," I said a blush creeping its way onto my cheeks. He grabbed my hand and led me to two lawn chairs; he sat down on one and then motioned for me to take the other. Blair would have sat down in the other seat, but Mary decided to just sit right on Josh's lap. He seemed pretty shocked by my decision but didn't protest at all. Josh didn't know me well enough to know I was a completely different person when I was drunk.

"So what's up?" He asked me as he shifted nervously in his seat. I was sitting on his lap sideways, my arm carelessly thrown over his shoulder for support. I stared at his face intently, just watching him watch me. He had an adorable face, really. And a small smile crept its way onto my lips as I continued to take in his every feature.

"You're adorable," I finally told him.

Again he looked a bit caught of guard but smiled none the less. "Thanks," he grinned sheepishly. I smiled because he smiled and then glanced down at his lips briefly before moving my face closer to his. "What're you doin'?" He asked me curiously.

"I'm gonna kiss you," I stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're drunk," he said flatly.

And I just grinned, telling in the words I had heard Oliver tell me more times than I could possibly count, "You worry too much." And I kissed him. It was awkward and sloppy at first, but once he got more comfortable he wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and I slowly straddled him. It was horrible of me to be kissing him, because I knew that had I been sober I wouldn't even think to do this because as cute as Josh was I didn't like him like that. I was a terrible person. But it felt good to kiss someone I knew liked me. Oliver didn't want me. So I settled. As our kiss got heated my hands went to either side of his face, pulling his mouth closer to my own and his hands trailed from my waist to my legs, carefully pushing up my thighs and under the dress I was wearing.

I was the first to pull away from the kiss, in a daze and practically gasping for breath. Josh had a dumb sort of smile on his face and it made me smile as well. And everything was okay in that very moment, until I realized what I had done. It was like suddenly I was sober and I comprehended the horrible act I had just committed. I clambered off of Josh's lap and pressed my dress down on my thighs, making sure I wasn't flashing everyone.

"'s everything okay, love?" Josh asked me sweetly.

"I just need another drink," I told him, stumbling away. "I'll be back in a sec," I yelled over my shoulder to ensure he didn't follow me. Surprisingly I made my way to the table full of drinks unscathed, and once I saw all of the alcohol my eyes lit up like a child in a candy shop. I grabbed the half empty bottle of tequila and poured half of it in a plastic cup, diluting it with some Pepsi. I hastily poured the liquid down my throat, and I knew I was drunk when it didn't even burn going down.

I wandered around the party aimlessly for the rest of the night, avoiding Josh and drinking cup after cup of tequila and Pepsi. And the next thing I knew I was sitting in a small puddle leaning up against the bus and laughing loudly because I couldn't figure out how to open the door.

It all happened so fast. My petite figure made it so easy for me to get drunk off of so little and with the amount of alcohol I had consumed I was surprised I didn't need my stomach pumped. As I continued to laugh, my head lolling all about I looked out ahead of me, noticing a tall figure walking in my direction.

"Blair?" A confused voice came from above me. I reached out and grabbed their leg, using it as support to lift myself up and then slowly using the rest of their body like a ladder until I was standing up straight and swaying about because I couldn't stand in one place. I tried to stand on my tip toes but stumbled forward, only to emit more giggles from my mouth. I hiccupped and then squinted, hoping to put a face to a voice. "Are yeh drunk?" They asked me, and I looked closer to realize it was Lee who had come to my rescue so to speak.

"Nope!" I exclaimed, laughing manically. I was being that girl; that drunken girl that everyone grimaced at and had to be forced into helping. Nobody wanted to or liked being that girl, especially me. I felt bad for acting so obnoxious and then I felt bad for kissing Josh and suddenly it was like the world was crashing down around me. The tears came quick and were hot as they ran down my cheeks. Confusion was written all over Lee's face as he tried to find a reason for my sudden tears. "Ohmigod," I hiccupped. "I'm sucha bad person!" I wailed, throwing my head down onto Lee's chest. He stumbled back, not expecting the sudden impact. He tried his best to hold me steady, but he was so sweet and unsuspecting I think I just frightened him more than anything. "I'm horrible, Lee!" I cried, my body racking with sobs.

"I'm gonna get Tom," he mumbled, reaching into his pant pocket and grabbing his phone quickly.

"I'M HORRIBLE!" I yelled again, crying loudly as I clawed at Lee's tee-shirt.

"Yer not 'orrible," he softly stroked my hair as he waited for Tom to pick up. "Yeah, Tom!" He suddenly said. "Can yeh get ta the bus right quick?" He asked. "'Cause Blair is fuckin' tanked and cryin' and I dun know how ta deal wiff 'er," he said honestly.

"LEE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND," I yelled, shaking him roughly. "I need Oliver, I need him," I cried, letting go of his shirt and losing my balance. I immediately fell backwards, landing hard on my backside and hitting my head against the bus.

"Shit," Lee cursed, kneeling down as he tried to help me up. I hit his hands away and grabbed the end of my dress, which was now covered in mud and God only knows what else.

"Don't touch me!" I slurred, my words a jumbled mess. "I just need Oli," I repeated. "OLI!" I yelled out.

Tom came running to the rescue quicker than I had anticipated and he spoke to Lee in a hushed tone before finally crouching down and looking at me; accessing the damage so to speak. I was covered in mud, my dress covered it in and my hair matted to my face. The make-up I had put on before going out was now smudged all over my face and too put it plainly, I looked exactly how I felt: like shit.

"Wha's amatta love?" He cooed softly.

"I just need Oli," I sobbed, tears falling out of my eyes again.

"I don't fhink tha's a good idea righ' now," he said truthfully. "Let's jus' get yeh inside an' in some clean clothes," he suggested, leaning forward and grabbing me from beneath my arms. He motioned to Lee for help and then both lifted me to my feet, my arms around each of them as they carefully climbed the stairs to the bus. I was placed on the couch in the front lounge, a few towels underneath me so I wouldn't get the mud I was covered in everywhere.

"Oli!" I kept yelling out over and over again. Oh, how insufferable I was being. Sober Blair would have never done something like this, ever. But I was "Mary" and I was drunk and I just knew things would be ghastly when I woke up.

"Stop yellin'!" Tom scolded me as he walked back out to the front. Lee was sitting across from me just staring, seemingly shocked by my bizarre drunken state. I had been drunk before, but I had never been this drunk. I think he was just in awe of my behavior.

"I need him," I pouted, sucking in ragged breaths in-between sobs. "Can you just get him for me Tommy? Please just get him," I sobbed, falling onto my side and continuing to cry for seemingly no reason at all.

"I've neva seen 'er like this before," Lee whispered, glancing up at Tom before looking back down at me being a train wreck.

"Me neither," he sighed, grabbing his iPhone off the counter and pressing the screen a few times before finally pressing it to his ear. I didn't catch anything he said into his phone because I was rolling around in my own mess and just repeating Oliver's name. Once Tom had hung up, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and swiftly swooped down next to me. "Don't say anyfhing stupid, alrigh' Blair?" He pointed an accusing finger in my face and I started at him, amused by his orders.

"Don't say anyfhing stupid, alrigh' Blair?" I mocked his accent and then threw my head back began to cackle again.

They didn't know how to deal with me. I was always taking care of them, picking up after their messes; they had no idea how to pick up after my messes. And this mess was a big one, a catastrophic one at that. They were completely dumbfounded and I think at this point they were just willing to go along with anything I said if that meant I would stop and go back to being the Blair they all knew and loved.

"Wha's goin' on in 'er...holy shit." At the sound of Oliver's voice my ears instantaneously perked up and I sat up way too fast and just ended up plummeting down onto the floor, my dress riding up over my waist. But the action didn't faze me in the least bit; instead I just carried on giggling.

"For whateva reason she's completely tanked," Lee told him.

"She keeps callin' for yeh," Tom added on. "So I called yeh."

Oliver looked down at me, his eyes sweeping across my body as he took in the scene before him. He didn't speak for quite a while and I just smiled up at him sloppily, writhing around on the floor like a complete drunken idiot. His face was stoic and I wasn't sure exactly what was going on in his head at that very moment, but once he processed what was going on he leaned down and placed his tattooed hand on my back and began to rub it soothingly.

"Wha' 'appened?" He asked softly.

"I kissed Josh," I blurted out. "And then I left. I drank. I fell," I giggled. "And now I just want you," I said innocently. And I meant it to sound that way too, because that's how I meant it. I didn't want to fuck him, hell I didn't even want to kiss him. I was just wanted to be near him. I wanted to feel his body pressed against mine as he rubbed my back gently and I drifted off into sleep.

"Yer a mess Twitchy," he told me tenderly, a small laugh evading his perfect lips. "Let's get yeh changed," he suggested, slipping his arms underneath my body and lifting me up carefully.

Oliver may have been skinny, but I was skinner and it most likely took him little to no effort to carry me into the bathroom. Once there he lifted the dress over my head and placed me on top of the sink and began washing the dirt off of me to the best of his capability. He brushed my hair free of the dried filth and then cradled me in his arms again and brought me to the back lounge. There he threw me an oversized Drop Dead tee-shirt and a new pair of panties. "Change," he said, turning around so he couldn't watch me change. I did as he said and sloppily slid the pair of panties over my legs, unhooked my bra, and slid the shirt over my torso.

"Done," I hiccupped when I had finished with his order. He turned around uneasily and smiled when he saw I was freshly dressed. Last but not least, he carried me to my bunk, carefully nestling me inside. "You're gonna stay, right?" I asked him naively, my head titled up and my eyes wide. He looked down at me, a soft smile adorning his lips.

"Yeh want me ta?" He asked slowly. And I nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted and sick. "It's gonna be cramped in there," he informed me.

"I don't care," I said, a few tears slipping from my eyes. He bent down slightly and wiped them from my face, still smiling.

"Okay then," he whispered. "But I'm sleepin' against the wall so if yeh have a sick yeh can get to the loo properly," he said casually and he crawled over me.

"Ok," I mumbled, relishing in the fact that he was near me. Once he was settled next to me he quickly ridded himself of his shirt and tossed it down by our feet. Now in only a pair of silver basketball shorts he looped is arm around my waist, placed his hand on my lower stomach and pushed me into him. I turned myself so I was facing him, my arms curled up in front of me and his arm still draped over my waist. I looked up at him through my lashes to see his honey eyes were already on me. "Thank you," I slurred, sighing contently, nuzzling my nose into his chest. "I love you Oliver," I grinned. I knew he wouldn't take it the way I truly meant it, but I couldn't stop the word vomit from rolling off of my tongue.

He just smiled, his white teeth shining in the dark and laughed softly, "I love yeh too, Twitch," and he kissed the top of my newly clean head. "Sleep tight."