So Easy To Love

I woke up with an incredible urge to vomit up every internal organ in my body. Before I clambered out of my bunk I glanced over my shoulder, cocking my head to the side when I saw Oliver laying next to me, his arm carelessly strew across my waist. I smiled softly at the sight of him sleeping, but only briefly because my stomach lurched and I knew I had to make it to the bathroom, and fast.

I threw his arm off of me and darted towards the bathroom, skidding on the carpet and tumbling to the ground. I was in such a panic that I wouldn't make it I just started to crawl to the toilet, leaning my head inside and curling my body forward as I let the contents of my stomach out spill out of my mouth violently. I had only been vomiting for a short time before I felt someone's hands gather my hair behind my head and hold it there, rubbing my back softly as well. I spit the last bit of sour liquid out of my mouth and glanced up over my shoulder, vomit all over my mouth and tears pouring out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. Matt Nicholls stood above me, smiling softly at me even though I knew I looked horrible.

"Yeh okay now?" He asked, bending down and continuing to rub my back delicately.

"I feel so sick," I muttered, covering my mouth with my hand to block the foul smell.

"Yeh drank a lot las' nigh'," he told me. "We thought we were gonna hafta bring yeh ta the clinic or somefhing."

"Oh my God," I murmured, my eyes wide. I turned around again and placed my forehead against the toilet seat.

I remembered being upset about that girl talking to me and then deciding to drink that night. I remember taking shots with Kean and Jona and I remember drinking a few more beers as I walked around the party. And last but not least I remember kissing Josh. Oh God. I kissed Josh. I straddled him while wearing a dress in front of a group of people I saw every single day. Just the thought sent a blush creeping up my neck and onto my cheeks. Everything was completely dark after that. I must've blacked out. My blood froze in my veins as I wondered what I had done. And when I realized I wasn't wearing what I had been the night before and when I realized I woke up next to Oliver and he was shirtless I nearly popped a blood vessel. But no. Oliver wouldn't do that. At least I think he wouldn't. He wouldn't take advantage of me like that, I was sure of it. I mean, I wasn't some random girl he met at Warped that day. I was his manager, his friend. But that's not to say I didn't try anything on him. I blushed again at the thought of me coming onto to Oliver, possibly telling him things I would never think to say sober.

And then I just started to throw up again. I did so until I was only producing stomach bile and my throat burned as I began to dry heave. An embarrassing night of drinking only led to an even more embarrassing morning.

"Yer okay," Matt cooed, patting my back as I finally stopped. I leaned backwards until my back connected with the counter and I sighed deeply.

"Can you help me up?" I asked Matt. He nodded and lifted me to my feet, carefully placing me in front of the sink so I could brush my teeth and use some mouthwash. Once I had finished cleaning myself up, I stumbled into the kitchen area, my hand immediately shooting for the cabinet that held the aspirin. I popped two extra strength Advil and then poured myself a steaming pot of coffee. The boys all watched me, quite amused that for once they weren't hung-over and stumbling all over the place. I finally settled into the small table, nestling myself against Jona's tattooed arm.

"What did I do last night?" I muttered, half hoping none of the boys would actually answer me and confirm my worst fears.

"Well Mary," Tom began, pausing as the other boys all laughed loudly. "When Lee found yeh, yeh were rollin; aroun' in a mud puddle outside like a fuckin' dog or somefhing and then when we finally got yeh inside yeh wouldn't stop callin' for Oli." My eyes went wide but he sent me a silent look that let me know things weren't as bad as I had pictured them. It was times like these I was thankful Tom could read my mind and I could do the same to him. "So I called 'm and 'e came and cleaned yeh up, got yeh ta change inta somefhing new, and then yeh begged 'm ta stay wiff yeh so 'e did," Tom concluded.

"I was calling for...Oliver?" I squeaked out, immediately blushing. Jona laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his warm side.

"When I got back he was cleanin' you up in the bathroom," he said. "You were in a bra and panties," he laughed. "But don't worry, we only looked and didn't touch." I carefully placed my head down on my hands in front of me, careful not to aggravate my head anymore.

"Yeh we're scary pissed though," Lee informed me. "flailin’ around like a rag doll. I didn't know wha' ta do. I hadta call Tom," he said, gutting his thumb out in Tom's direction.

"'nd yeh jus' kept callin' fer Oli ova an' ova," Kean said. "Yeh were jus' laughin' like a mad woman and wouldn' let anyone but 'm touch yeh."

"I'm never drinking again," I said flatly as I lifted my head back up to look at them. "Thank God we have the day off today. I couldn't even imagine working feeling like this."

"Awh, come on!" Tom hollered, making my head pound. I sent him a sharp look and he quickly apologized, understanding what I was going through. "I 'ad a good time jus' watchin' yeh las' nigh'," he said with a goofy grin. "I didn' even need ta drink ta have fun! Yeh were entertainment enough."

"I'm so embarrassed," I mumbled.

"'appens ta all of us."

I almost wished he would never wake up. Or maybe that when he did he would have forgotten everything that happened last night. Forget about me rolling around in mud, forget about me calling his name over and over in probably the most pathetic tone ever, forget about him having to clean me up, forget about me begging him to stay with me. If there was anyone I was afraid to see after hearing about what I had done last night it was certainly Oliver. For all I knew I could have tried to sleep with him. Maybe the boys were right in naming me Mary when I was drunk, because I was a totally different person.

"Only when it 'appens ta Blair it's a million times funnier," Kean smiled. I stuck my tongue out at him and buried myself further into Jona's arm. Much to my dismay Oliver took the seat directly across from me and sent me a wide smile.

"'ow do yeh feel?" He asked.

"I'm okay," I shrugged. "A little sick," I admitted sheepishly as I played with my fingers. He knocked his foot against mine under the table playfully and I blushed deeply.

"Yeh didn't frow up did yeh?" He inquired, tousling his bed head hair lightly.

"She sure did," Matt confirmed with a nod. "I 'eld 'er 'air back for 'er," he added with a smile, like he was proud of himself.

"There's a first time for everything," I joked.

"I've 'eld lass's 'air back before!" He insisted.

"Yeah only cause you wanted to get in their pants. Remember that gross girl you slept with two tours ago?" I asked, tilting my head to the side as I scrunched my nose up. "She puked all over the stairs of the bus and I got stuck cleaning it up," I frowned.

"I remember 'er!" Lee exclaimed. "Tha firecrotch, righ'?" He asked, making everyone around him roar with laughter. Matt looked less than amused by the whole thing and shouted out to defend himself.

"Hey hey hey!" He yelled. "She was pretty flexible."

I had a tendency to over think things. And most of the time that was my real downfall. Because nothing is ever as bad as you can imagine it. And that was the truth. Like that morning for example. I was nearing reduced to tears when I thought about what Oliver was going to say when I woke up, about how badly everyone would make fun of me, or about what I could have possibly done. And instead they all just told me they were worried, they thought it was pretty funny, and then the subject was switched to Matt Nicholls' past flames.

But as much as I worried about how these boys would judge me, I knew they would never be too harsh with me. In a weird way they all looked at me like their sister, like they had to protect me for one reason or another. Maybe because I was so meek, maybe because I was a girl in a guy's world. They all loved me, I was sure of that much.

And I knew that love wasn't as strong as mine for one particular member. In-between the laughter about whether or not the girl Matt had hooked up with was ugly or not, Oliver sent me a secret smile and nudged his foot against mine again. He looked at me in a sort of concerned way, like he wanted to make sure I didn't lie when I said I was okay. And I just sent him a small smile back, silently wishing that I could wake up nuzzled against his tattooed chest every day.