The Guilty Ones

Rachel sighed. She leant forward, dabbing at her face with the wet paper towel, wiping away most of the grape slushy. She had thought that by now the slushies would have stopped, considering that Noah and Finn had made it clear to the jocks that they were to leave the rest of Glee club alone, but apparently once school was over Noah and Finn’s threats were considered null and void. She wasn’t sure why the jocks were here after school, she was pretty sure it was between sports seasons. Nevertheless, they had stayed and managed to double team Rachel, resulting in her having to drag out the spare outfit from the back of her locker and trudge to the bathroom.

When she was mostly cleaned, she changed into the other outfit and gathered her things, putting the stained clothes into a plastic bag. She walked out of the bathroom, checking the halls to make sure no one was waiting with another slushy before walking towards the Glee room. There was a squeaking sound from the hallway, and Rachel jumped. As she looked around, she saw no one. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and she whirled around.

“I carry a rape whistle!” She called out, glancing around again. When she was certain there was no one there, she chalked it up to paranoia because of the recent slushy and walked into the Glee room. She exhaled, relieved to see that the room was empty. She sat at the piano and began playing, warming up her voice.

Jesse didn’t expect anyone to be here after school. He remembered that Glee rehearsals used to end before school ended, which is why he thought sneaking in after hours was a good idea. Unfortunately, it appeared he wasn’t the only one in the school. He saw the two jocks before Rachel did, and winced when they slushied her. He ducked into the nearest hallway when they began walking towards him, but he looked out after they left, watching Rachel as she walked to her locker. He felt bad, but he remembered why he was there in the first place: to spy on New Directions, not to look after Rachel.

He turned around the corner and began walking quietly to the Glee room. He made it in there without seeing anyone else, and was relieved to see that Mr. Schuester’s small office was unoccupied. He began poking around the room, searching for something that indicated whatever they were going to do for Regionals. He glanced out the doorway, making sure Rachel wasn’t coming. As he turned to go back into the room, his shoes squeaked. He hurried back into the room, right before hearing Rachel call out “I carry a rape whistle!” He chuckled at the familiar line, but when he heard her shoes get closer, he began searching the room for a way out. Her shoes got closer and Jesse began to panic. He finally gave up on escaping and dove into Mr. Schuester’s tiny office, grateful for the dark surroundings.

He watched Rachel through the little window. He waited while she sat at the piano, and silently cursed in his head. She was warming up. He’d probably be stuck here for at least an hour, maybe two, knowing Rachel. He sighed, taking a seat in the chair behind Schuester’s desk. He doubted she would look in the office anyway, so he might as well be comfortable while waiting.

Rachel didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, and she continued to warm up until she was perfectly content with how her voice sounded. She walked over to the CD player and put in the CD she had been using to practice. Mr. Schuester had said that if they wanted to suggest something for the opening number, they would have to prepare a performance of it. Rachel being Rachel had an idea from the start. The song was from her one of her favorite musicals: Spring Awakening. The song was called The Guilty Ones, and it was a haunting, slow song. Rachel had picked the song because it was a duet, but there were backup lyrics as well, which would give everyone a chance to sing in the opening number. She hadn’t figured out who she wanted her duet partner to be, but she knew it had to be a boy.

The music started playing and Jesse perked up in the chair. He knew the song well; it was from one of his favorite musicals. He was surprised Rachel knew it, but then again, it was Rachel. She knew her Broadway. He watched her with slight interest. This could possibly be what he was looking for. And if it meant he got to see Rachel, then great. He sat, waiting for her to sing, fully prepared to memorize every detail so he could tell it to everyone in Vocal Adrenaline. And then she started to sing.

Rachel took in a deep breath, and then began to sing the song she had been practicing for days. It came almost naturally to her. She closed her eyes, falling into the character, leaving Rachel Berry behind and stepping into Wendla. She started singing the opening lines, moving to the center of the room, performing for her invisible audience. Something’s started crazy, sweet and unknown, she sang, opening her eyes.

Jesse had heard Rachel sing several times before. He had sung with Rachel several times before, but nothing compared to what she was doing now. Watching her, he realized that she did have emotional depth. He wasn’t sure if it was just the character or perhaps the song, but something inside him clicked as he watched Rachel. He knew that if New Directions did this song, Vocal Adrenaline didn’t have a chance. And yet, he didn’t mind. He stood up slowly from the chair, quietly walking towards the door of Schuester’s office.

Night won’t breathe, oh how we fall into silence from the sky, Rachel sang, closing her eyes to envision the audience. She had imagined this so many times before; the applause, the cheers, the adoration from an audience who didn’t judge her by her appearance or by her personality, but by her talent. And whisper some silver reply, she sang the last line of her solo. She was ready to silently sing the boy’s part, but a familiar and startling voice began to sing it for her.

Pulse is gone and racing, all fits and starts, Jesse sang, stepping out of Schuester’s office and into the Glee room. He didn’t know why he did it, he just did. Something in him wouldn’t let him sit still, so he stood up and began singing Melchior’s part. He moved slowly towards Rachel, so he wouldn’t spook her or scare her off. He could tell that he had startled her, but he kept singing. You try and look into this brave new you that you are, he sang to her, finally coming to a stop in front of her.

And who can say what dreams are? Rachel sang, her eyes on Jesse now. She watched as he reached out for her hand, and for some reason, her hand lifted, reaching out for his. Wake me in time to be out in the cold, they sang together, their voices blending together and filling the Glee room. She wondered if this was a dream, some sort of fantasy that felt real but really wasn’t. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had a daydream that felt this real, but a daydream was the only thing that made sense.

And now our bodies are the guilty ones, our touch will fill every hour, Jesse sang with Rachel, taking her hand and spinning her around gently, pulling her towards him and taking her other hand. She watched him with fearful and hopeful eyes, not sure whether to trust him or run from him. He put her hand on his shoulder, and put his hand on her waist, slowly turning her, still singing.

And now our bodies are the guilty ones, our touch will color hours, they sang. If there was one thing that Rachel had first noticed about Jesse was how amazing his voice was, and how well it matched hers. As he twirled her around, Rachel realized that this had to be a dream. There was no way Jesse St. James would be in the McKinley High Glee room, dancing and singing with her. It was impossible.

Then whisper some silver reply, the final notes of the song echoed through the room and Rachel stared at Jesse’s face, committing it to memory. She was convinced that soon he would disappear, proving to be a figment of her imagination. When the silence didn’t make him vanish, Rachel frowned slightly.

“Something the matter?” Jesse asked softly, smiling with amusement. Rachel blinked. Jesse had never spoken in any of the daydreams she had about him.

“How are you still here?” She asked, moving her hand from his shoulder to his cheek. He chuckled.

“Because I haven’t left yet.” Rachel blinked twice and then suddenly took a step back, staring at him incredulously.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, suddenly becoming guarded. “Where is the rest of Vocal Adrenaline? I really would rather you didn’t egg me now because this is the only spare outfit I have and my other outfit is completely covered in grape slushy, and while I understand you usually don’t listen to your victims when pranking them, but I would really appreciate it if just this once-”

“Rachel!” Jesse exclaimed, taking a step towards her. “I’m not here with Vocal Adrenaline; no one is going to egg you.” He reached out for her, but she stepped away again.

“Then why are you here?” She asked, her tone accusing. He sighed.

“Do you want the truth?”

“That would be nice.” She said, folding her arms across her chest. Jesse sighed, running his fingers through his hair before speaking.

“I…came by to see you.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Yes, Vocal Adrenaline had sent him to spy, but he had known that the job would let him see Rachel, so he accepted right away. He looked at her and could tell she didn’t believe him.

“I asked for the truth.”

“And I’m giving it to you, Rach! I know it looks weird but I wanted to see if you were okay, how you were doing…I missed you, Rachel.” Jesse said softly, stepping towards her. This time she didn’t step away, but she didn’t move closer. He looked at her eyes. In them was a sign of faltering, a sign of believing. Her eyes searched his face, and it was silent for what seemed like hours.

“Really?” She asked quietly, and Jesse exhaled.

“Yes, really.” He said, reaching out for her hand again. Hesitantly, she placed her tiny hand in his and he smiled, lacing their fingers together.

“I’ve missed you too.” She admitted quietly, looking down at the floor. Jesse reached out, lifting her chin with his free hand.

“I’m so sorry. I am so sorry for everything. For trying to pressure you into what you weren’t ready for, for leaving you and for egging you and for lying, Rachel, most of all I’m sorry for lying. You deserve so much better than me.” He said fiercely, looking into her eyes so she would know he was telling the truth. She listened patiently, her eyes accepting.

“I forgive you.” She said, and he exhaled in relief. “If,” she added, looking up at him. “You promise never to do anything like it again. I understand that you have your obligations to your team, but I would appreciate it if pranking me and my team would stop.” She finished, looking at him sternly. He knew she was serious, dead serious, and he nodded.

“I promise.” He said, holding up his right hand. “I won’t ever prank you or your team.” Rachel smiled and stepped forward, hugging him tightly.

“I missed you so much.” She mumbled, closing her eyes. He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around her.

“I missed you too.” He said softly, rubbing her back. In that moment, everything was okay. In a few minutes he would have to leave, have to go back to Vocal Adrenaline and tell them that he couldn’t find anything on New Directions, have to not see Rachel again until Regionals. She knew that and he knew that, but for that moment, when they were just there, holding each other again, it was alright. She knew that he couldn’t come back, that he probably wouldn’t come back, and that neither Noah or Finn could compare to Jesse when it came to that song, but it was okay, because he was here right now, he had missed her, he had sung with her and it was beautiful.

And who can say what dreams are? He sang softly, kissing the top of her head. She looked up at him, and hesitantly leaned forward, kissing him softly. He responded instantly, gently kissing her back. He pulled away first, an apology written in his eyes.

“I have to go now.” He said quietly, resting his forehead against hers. She nodded slightly, understanding and sadness in her eyes.

“I’ll see you soon. We’ll figure something out.” He added, kissing her forehead. He stepped away from her, walking out the door without a second glance. She exhaled, dropping down onto the piano bench.

Now, our bodies are the guilty ones.