We're All Just Victims of a Crime

Gee,

I couldn’t face you, as stupid and pathetic as it is. I just couldn’t take the pain and hate in your eyes again. I know I’ve screwed up and I didn’t even plan on that happening. Everything was going so well and then it just all ended right before me and there was nothing I could do. I know asking you to trust me now is a long shot, so please just believe me? I didn’t have you go there for Thomas and those pricks to beat you up. They went and changed that behind me and I didn’t know until it was too late. If I had known Gee I swear to you I would have told you not to go. I never wanted you to get hurt in the end, I only wanted you to be happy. I wanted to walk to school and see you there with that smile on your face. To say something whenever I wanted so I could watch you blush, even if you hated it and it only embarrassed you. To hear you laugh whenever you found something funny, even if it was me almost falling on my face. I’d fall on my face everyday if it made you laugh, the pain wouldn’t mean a thing to me.

I love you and I know I’m being pretty blunt about it, but its true. It took me a long time to realize it, but when I did it hit me like nothing I’ve ever felt. After my Dad was out of the picture I changed, and it was for the worst. The only person I was close to was my Mom, she was the only one whoever got to see the real me. I took all that anger out on you for years and I’m sorry Gerard. Call if selfish, call it whatever you want, but the moment I realized just how much you meant to me, I decided I would go through anything just to get you to believe in me, to believe in yourself again. You’re so blind to what’s around you Gerard, you’re life is not nearly as bad as you think it is. You still have two parents who stay by your side no matter what. You have a brother who would turn his back on anything and anyone in the world just to make sure you’re okay. You have me, even if you don’t want me anymore, and I’ll love you forever.

I know what’s running through your head right now, and I’m not going to lie, I wish I could stop you. But I can’t do anything about it now, all I ask is for you to remember who you’ll be leaving behind. Think about what it will do to them, it’s not everyday you’re given a second chance. I know when I got mine I never thought twice about what I could lose, because you’re worth it, you’ve always been worth it. So I’m giving you a second chance now. Of course if you don’t read this then all of these words mean nothing. It’s up to you now to choose if they’re enough for you to stay here, to stay here with them and defeat the monster inside of you. Because its all up in your head Gerard, you are worth it, you just don’t see it yet.

-Frank

I folded up the paper looking around the quiet waiting room and sighed looking back down at it. He had seriously cared, and I had pushed him away, but I messed up when I let him in. If I hadn’t of done that then he wouldn’t be hurt, he wouldn’t be dying in a recovery room. The only thing I could do for him now, for any of them is to just walk away. To collect my things and disappear.