We're All Just Victims of a Crime

I rolled over when the constant shouting of my name grew beyond annoying and looked towards the door.
“What Bob?” I groaned looking back at the clock seeing it was only seven.
“We’re going out, come on. We’re gone in ten.” I looked back at the clock and whined falling face first into my pillow.
“Oh shut it, come on pretty boy, up and be ready to go and I’ll buy you some coffee on the way.” I picked my head back up and looked towards him, still standing in the door way.
“You are the devil who is trying to bribe me with caffeine.” I yawned throwing my blanket off of me.
“I’ll go with that.” he stated and left me to get ready which ten minutes was not nearly enough. My hair was a disaster and my eyeliner looked like I had put it on while running a marathon. I was thankful for the mirror in Bob’s car or else he would have to suck it up when I told him I wouldn’t get out looking like shit. At least now I was somewhat presentable.

He took me to Starbucks like promised, and when we were pulling out I realized that I had no idea where we were going, but when I asked him he never replied. Instead he would smile softly and continue to look at the road. It had been two days since our last actual conversation, since then Mikey had called a few times but I had gone back to ignoring them. Each time I would get a dirty look from Bob but it never fazed me. It only started to come together when I realized we were taking the route back to Jersey, that he was probably taking me to the one place that I wanted to be furthest from.
“I’m not going, I told you that the other day.” I stated trying to make it clear.
“Well, you don’t really have a choice. I’m driving, its my car, and I’ll just drop your ass off in Jersey. Have fun getting back.”
“I’ll just pay for a damn cab then smart one.” I stated looking out the window.
“Did you remember your wallet?” I paused before reaching into my back pocket and frowned. He laughed shaking his head and sighed.
“You see, that is exactly why I woke you up and only gave you ten minutes. You forget everything. So, you have two choices from where I see it, you can man up and confront Frank or I can leave your ass in Jersey.” I glared at passing cars knowing that I wasn’t going to win, so instead I wallowed in the seat and waited till we got to the hospital.

I was hoping when we got to the hospital that he would just drop me off, tell me he would be back in a few hours like a parent would do and then just leave, but no, he didn’t. Instead he followed me inside, walked me to the counter, waited till I got his room number and then followed me to his room.
“You’re being ridiculous Bob.” I sighed staring at the number next to the door.
“Only because I know you wouldn’t go in. Now, go in and I’ll leave.” I frowned looking at the door and then looked back at him.
“I can’t face him. Don’t make me do this.” he rolled his eyes.
“You’re acting stupid, what’s the worst that could happen? He could tell you to leave? That would make you happy wouldn’t it?” he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Shut up,” I grumbled and looked back at the door and sighed.
“Fine.” I walked up to it and turned the handle slowly, looking back at him he merely waved me forward and smirked. I opened the door all the way and stepped in, at first refusing to let my eyes land on the bed. “Good boy,” I heard him say before the door shut. After the click I stood there, staring at the ground chewing on the inside of my cheek.
“Mikey?” I jumped, startled when I heard his voice. I picked up my head, pushing my fallen hair behind my ear and finally looked his way. He was sitting with his legs crossed, his face cast downwards hiding most of his face.
“You’re not Mikey... are you?” his voice was dry and didn’t fit him. I looked around the room, noticing the cards and flowers and grimaced. Frank wasn’t a ‘get well soon’ card guy, or flowers for that matter, but it was nice to know that there were people who cared enough to send them, people that weren’t me.
“I’m probably talking to nothing, absolutely wonderful,” he huffed, his head now held in his hands as he grumbled to himself. I walked over and sat down in the chair, trying to be quiet, I knew if he heard me then he would only ask who it was until I answered, and I didn’t know what to say. I sat back and just looked at him for a few moments, besides the fact that he was blind, and his hair was a tad longer, he looked the same. The door opened and I looked over to see Bob standing in the doorway. He looked from Frank to me a few times before frowning.
“The whole purpose of me dragging your ass here was for you to talk to him, not be a silent creeper Gerard.” if I could have killed him right then, I would have.
“Gee?” Bob smiled and quickly left. I looked back over at Frank who had picked his head up and was looking out into nothing. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly shut it and rubbed my temple before sighing.
“Hi.” I guess it wasn’t the worst thing to say, right?
“Why... why didn’t you answer me the first time?” his eyebrows knit in confusion.
“I didn’t really know what to say.” I sat up and rested my elbows on my knee’s. He nodded wrapping his arms around his waist.
“Mikey said you weren’t coming.”
“Well in all honesty I was forced,” the edges of his mouth fell into a depressing frown.
“Well you talked to me, you can go now.” he stated with force and then laid down with his back to me.
“Frank, don’t do this.” I sighed getting up and walked over to his bed.
“Just go away will you? I have more important things to worry about then you right now.”
“So what, you’re blind. It doesn’t change anything.” I crossed my arms and looked down at him, annoyed with his childish antics. He refused to move and just laid there for a few moments before ending his silence.
“Me being blind has just as much effect on changing things as your being a coward does.” it was my turn to frown as I continued to watch him, confused by what he meant.
“That doesn’t make any sense Frank.” I stated finally.
“You don’t make any sense Gerard so its perfect. So go, just like you did a few months ago. Walk away will you? I’d much rather just face reality now rather than conjure up some ridiculous story in my head where I think you actually care about any of us.”
“You think I don’t care about any of you?” I asked, louder than I had intended and caused him to flinch.
“I left because I cared. If I’m not here, then there’s no way I could possibly screw anything up. You can’t win everything Frank, life’s not like that. Either I died or I left, I decided to be less selfish after reading that damn letter of yours and I left.” I finished, my pulse faster than it had been just a few minutes ago.
“You read my letter?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t going to, but after the accident, I couldn’t you know... not read it. Look can you at least face me instead of having your back to me while I’m talking to you?” he sighed rolling onto his back.
“Its as good as its going to get, I don’t really know where you are.”
“Thank you.” he nodded. We fell back into an awkward silence and like Bob had called me earlier, I was being a creeper. I stood there and watched him, abusing the fact that I knew he couldn’t tell that I was.
“So you’re just going to go off on me and that’s it then?” he voiced.
“No, its just... what do you want me to do Frank? I can’t please everyone, I’m not perfect, all I’ve managed to do is land you in the hospital.” I sighed holding onto the railing of the bed.
“You didn’t put me in the hospital. An idiot who couldn’t drive did.” he laughed softly, while I was grateful to hear his laugh, it wasn’t the best time for that.
“Its not funny Frank.” I mumbled causing the small smile to disappear.
“I can’t just leave where I’m at, I have college, I can’t drop out. I just can’t do... any of this.” I rambled stumbling over my words.
“So you are going to just walk away? I thought you said you read my letter?”
“I did,” I replied, slightly confused again.
“You don’t just walk away from people who care about you Gerard. Because they’re not going to let you just go because you think it will benefit us. So what if you’re not perfect, how many people do you honestly know that are perfect? I’m going to go on a bet and say none, and if you say you do then you are the blind one, not me. You can’t just walk away and think everything will get better, it only makes it worse.” I wanted to make a smart remark about his little life lesson but held my tongue and nodded to myself.
“I thought things get worse before they get better though?”
“Well yeah.” he replied.
“Then things will get better Frank. Just wait,” I smiled softly going to head towards the door.
“Do you mean that things will get better between us, or things will get better with you gone?” I stopped and thought on it for a moment.
“With me gone.” I answered quietly which only pissed him off.
“Why do you have to be so fucking stupid Gerard?!” he yelled sitting up now, his jaw tight.
“I’m done arguing ok?”
“No, ok? I was nice, I thought that maybe if I was nice about then it would fucking get through that damn skull of yours. Apparently I was wrong. You’re pushing away people who want you around, you’re fucking ridiculous Gerard. You were depressed because you felt like you had nobody, but now that you know that there are people who actually exist that would give up so much just for you, you push them away. Do you not realize how much of a strain this has put on your brother? I’ve been awake for what, two maybe three days and instantly I knew something was wrong with him, and its you. You’re making us feel like shit so you can go off into your own little world where you think that ‘oh if I just leave them alone everything will be perfect’ and you’re wrong! Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in all our lives. Do you not understand that I’m in love with you? That I really need you right now? Yet you’re like a fucking broken record throwing out the same excuse. I don’t know what the hell is running through that head of yours, but kill whatever it is. Because its doing more harm than good.” he finished, his face redder, his jaw just as tight. He took a deep breath before collapsing into the bed.
“I’m done being a bitch, so go, if you haven’t already.” he grumbled.
“You’re not being a bitch.” I assured him, now standing there looking pathetic. I stuffed my hands in my pockets before walking up to his bed and looked from him to the railing of the bed and reached out pressing in the buttons so I could lower it.
“What are you doing?” he groaned reaching out to grab it, I grabbed his hand holding it up before I slid in next to him and pulled him up against my chest.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled kissing the top of his head. He didn’t say anything, instead he turned onto his side, burying his face into my shirt.
“I guess I’ll forgive you.” he replied as I ran my hands through his hair.
“You smell good.”he added making me laugh, in return causing him to giggle.
“I don’t like it when we fight.” I frowned.
“Me either, does this mean we can have sexy make up time now?” he rolled his head back to look up.
“Uh no, not right now.” he sighed nodding.
“Promise me you won’t shut any of us out?”
“I promise to try.”