Living is a nightmare, suicide's reality
chapter 1
I stared at the dark house that loomed over us. I glanced at Frank nervously, before taking hold of his hand. It was wet and i could tell by the look in his eyes it was from fear. Fear of moving away from our home and fear of what would happen once inside. I squeezed his hand for reasurance. Nothing.
'Frank?' I whispered, just in case dad would hear. 'Are you ok?'
He swallowed and turned to face me. 'No. I'm really not. I'm sorry Anna, i can't keep on lying. I'm scared. This whole thing scares the shit out of me.'
'Frank!' i giggled. 'You shouldn't swear. Dad might hear and...'
'And what's he gonna do? Beat me? Nothing new there then,' he muttered.
I became aware that we weren't moving and we should be. Dad would kill us if he found us still sitting in the car. 'C'mon Frank, lets go inside.' He shivered slightly as we got out of the car. I wasn't sure whether it was from the cold or the fear. Probably both.
God i felt like i was intruding when i opened the big wooden door. It felt like we shouldn't be here. We didn't belong. Neither of us. I trugded up the stairs to find 6 rooms. 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, a linen closet and a study. I peeked inside each room as if expecting dad to jump out at us, unexpectdely(I can't spell).
'Hey Anna, i think i've found our room,' Frank shouted.
'How'd you know?' i asked still searching the rooms.
'Cos it has our suitcases in, dumbo,' he giggled ruffling my hair.
'Frank!'
'Anna!'
'Right your getting it this time,' i growled running after him. He screamed.
'Oh no, Please, ill do anything just please don't hurt me!' he giggled.
'Ok then you can put all my stuff away.'
'Fat chance!' he said sticking his tongue out at me.
'Your dead!'
He laughed and began to run out of the door. He disappeared, then there was a loud scream as dad hurled him back through the door.
'Little punk. Thinking he can shout in my house. Well i'll teach you!' dad advanced on him.
'Dad no please!' I screamed to no avail.
He grabbed Frank by the neck and slammed him against the wall. He dropped him to the floor, and kicked his head, until it bled onto the carpet. Dad laughed and kicked his stomach. And all i could do was watch. I was useless, pathetic. I covered my ears to drown out Frank's screams and ran into the bathroom. Dad's razor glinted in the sunlight and i grabbed it, not caring what i was doing to myself. 1 slash. Usless. 2. Loner. 3. Pathetic. 4. Worthless. 5. Can't even save her own brother. I stopped then and let the blood flow. I hummed as i watched. I begin to sing as Frank's screams got louder and louder. 'Always look on the bright side of life. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do' I started laughing manically. Everything was fine. My life was perfect. My father loves me. My brother loves me. So much love, it almost suffocates me. It begins to get dark. Darker and darker, until i knew no more.
Ok i need girlfriends for Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob. And eventually Frank. Just send me a message aboutn what you like, so on and so forth.
'Frank?' I whispered, just in case dad would hear. 'Are you ok?'
He swallowed and turned to face me. 'No. I'm really not. I'm sorry Anna, i can't keep on lying. I'm scared. This whole thing scares the shit out of me.'
'Frank!' i giggled. 'You shouldn't swear. Dad might hear and...'
'And what's he gonna do? Beat me? Nothing new there then,' he muttered.
I became aware that we weren't moving and we should be. Dad would kill us if he found us still sitting in the car. 'C'mon Frank, lets go inside.' He shivered slightly as we got out of the car. I wasn't sure whether it was from the cold or the fear. Probably both.
God i felt like i was intruding when i opened the big wooden door. It felt like we shouldn't be here. We didn't belong. Neither of us. I trugded up the stairs to find 6 rooms. 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, a linen closet and a study. I peeked inside each room as if expecting dad to jump out at us, unexpectdely(I can't spell).
'Hey Anna, i think i've found our room,' Frank shouted.
'How'd you know?' i asked still searching the rooms.
'Cos it has our suitcases in, dumbo,' he giggled ruffling my hair.
'Frank!'
'Anna!'
'Right your getting it this time,' i growled running after him. He screamed.
'Oh no, Please, ill do anything just please don't hurt me!' he giggled.
'Ok then you can put all my stuff away.'
'Fat chance!' he said sticking his tongue out at me.
'Your dead!'
He laughed and began to run out of the door. He disappeared, then there was a loud scream as dad hurled him back through the door.
'Little punk. Thinking he can shout in my house. Well i'll teach you!' dad advanced on him.
'Dad no please!' I screamed to no avail.
He grabbed Frank by the neck and slammed him against the wall. He dropped him to the floor, and kicked his head, until it bled onto the carpet. Dad laughed and kicked his stomach. And all i could do was watch. I was useless, pathetic. I covered my ears to drown out Frank's screams and ran into the bathroom. Dad's razor glinted in the sunlight and i grabbed it, not caring what i was doing to myself. 1 slash. Usless. 2. Loner. 3. Pathetic. 4. Worthless. 5. Can't even save her own brother. I stopped then and let the blood flow. I hummed as i watched. I begin to sing as Frank's screams got louder and louder. 'Always look on the bright side of life. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do' I started laughing manically. Everything was fine. My life was perfect. My father loves me. My brother loves me. So much love, it almost suffocates me. It begins to get dark. Darker and darker, until i knew no more.
Ok i need girlfriends for Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob. And eventually Frank. Just send me a message aboutn what you like, so on and so forth.