Living is a nightmare, suicide's reality
Chapter 12
That night was the first night in years i had slept properly. The quiet hum of the boiler and the rhythmic breathing of the people next to me, sent me to sleep almost instantly. No nightmares, no waking up, nothing. I woke up and smiled. For the first time in my life, i forgot about dad, about harming myself, about everything. I felt happy.
I showered while the rest of them slept. I slipped on a Nirvana t-shirt and combats. I fixed my hair and went for breakfast. Frank came in, rubbing his eyes.
'Have a nice sleep?'
'Yeah,' he said smiling. 'Well as nice as i could have with Gerard nutting me.'
'What?'
'He kept nutting me while he was asleep. I've got a killer headache now,' he smiled. 'You know where the aspirin is?' he asked, rummaging through their draws. 'doesn't matter, i've found them,' he carried them into the bathroom. 'I'm gonna get a shower too, so don't come in,' he came up to me and wrapped his arms round my waist. 'I love you,' he whispered and walked into the bathroom.
'Okkkk....' I was a little freaked out. He hadn't said that in ages. still, it was kinda sweet. I smiled to myself. He seemed happy. Maybe him trying to talk to dad would help after all. Even if it didn't, it was worth a try.
I fixed toast and coffee for them all, and went to wake Gerard and Mikey. They were still fast asleep when i walked in. They were cuddled up together. They looked so sweet. Gerard had being kind enough to lend me the bed. I asked Frank if he wanted it but he shook his head and smiled at me.
'I'll sleep with them two,' he giggled as he jumped on top of them both. They were all sleeping on the floor, on a king size mattress. I watched them sleep for ages, before i fell asleep myself. I giggled as i remembered Frank as he had jumped on them last night. I decided to see if it would wake them up. I took a running leap at them and landed on them both.
'WAKE UP SLEEPYHEADS!' I shouted at them both.
'What the....' Gerard sat up straight. 'Where's the fire?' he said sleepily. I just laughed at him.
'There is no fire, but it's time to get up. It's nearly 10:00.'
'But it's the weekend,' he whined.
'I made coffee.'
'Coffe? Who said smething about coffee?' Mikey jumped to his feet and ran up the stairs.
'C'mon, Gerard, don't be lazy,' i poked him.
'But i am lazy. And tired. And my head hurts.'
'That's because you were nutting Frank all night,' i started tickling him. 'Get up!'
'Ok! Ok! Just stop tickling me!,' he squealed.
'You sound like a girl!' He pushed me off the bed.
'Look let me get dressed, ok? I promise i won't fall asleep.'
'Ok, but if you do, i'm coming to get you,' I jumped off the bed and headed back upstairs. Mikey was sat at the table, drinking his coffee.
'You seen Frank?' i asked him.
'He's still in the shower,' he mumbled. He was still half asleep. I went to the bathroom door.
'Frank? I need to use the shower. Can i come in?' No answer. 'Frank?' i pushed the door open, slightly. There was something behind the door. 'Frank?'
The door wouldn't budge. I pushed harder. The thing behind it moved and i fell into the bathroom. i saw the laundry basket on the floor. The shower was still running.
'Frank, why did you put the laundry basket against the door?' Still no answer. I pulled the shower curtain to one side.
'Oh my God! Frank!' I screamed. The plug was in and the water was filling the shower cubicle slowly. Frank was sprawled on the floor, unconscious.
'Frank...' i whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks. I leant close to him. He wasn't breathing. Oh God.
'Frank, what have you done?' I cried.
I showered while the rest of them slept. I slipped on a Nirvana t-shirt and combats. I fixed my hair and went for breakfast. Frank came in, rubbing his eyes.
'Have a nice sleep?'
'Yeah,' he said smiling. 'Well as nice as i could have with Gerard nutting me.'
'What?'
'He kept nutting me while he was asleep. I've got a killer headache now,' he smiled. 'You know where the aspirin is?' he asked, rummaging through their draws. 'doesn't matter, i've found them,' he carried them into the bathroom. 'I'm gonna get a shower too, so don't come in,' he came up to me and wrapped his arms round my waist. 'I love you,' he whispered and walked into the bathroom.
'Okkkk....' I was a little freaked out. He hadn't said that in ages. still, it was kinda sweet. I smiled to myself. He seemed happy. Maybe him trying to talk to dad would help after all. Even if it didn't, it was worth a try.
I fixed toast and coffee for them all, and went to wake Gerard and Mikey. They were still fast asleep when i walked in. They were cuddled up together. They looked so sweet. Gerard had being kind enough to lend me the bed. I asked Frank if he wanted it but he shook his head and smiled at me.
'I'll sleep with them two,' he giggled as he jumped on top of them both. They were all sleeping on the floor, on a king size mattress. I watched them sleep for ages, before i fell asleep myself. I giggled as i remembered Frank as he had jumped on them last night. I decided to see if it would wake them up. I took a running leap at them and landed on them both.
'WAKE UP SLEEPYHEADS!' I shouted at them both.
'What the....' Gerard sat up straight. 'Where's the fire?' he said sleepily. I just laughed at him.
'There is no fire, but it's time to get up. It's nearly 10:00.'
'But it's the weekend,' he whined.
'I made coffee.'
'Coffe? Who said smething about coffee?' Mikey jumped to his feet and ran up the stairs.
'C'mon, Gerard, don't be lazy,' i poked him.
'But i am lazy. And tired. And my head hurts.'
'That's because you were nutting Frank all night,' i started tickling him. 'Get up!'
'Ok! Ok! Just stop tickling me!,' he squealed.
'You sound like a girl!' He pushed me off the bed.
'Look let me get dressed, ok? I promise i won't fall asleep.'
'Ok, but if you do, i'm coming to get you,' I jumped off the bed and headed back upstairs. Mikey was sat at the table, drinking his coffee.
'You seen Frank?' i asked him.
'He's still in the shower,' he mumbled. He was still half asleep. I went to the bathroom door.
'Frank? I need to use the shower. Can i come in?' No answer. 'Frank?' i pushed the door open, slightly. There was something behind the door. 'Frank?'
The door wouldn't budge. I pushed harder. The thing behind it moved and i fell into the bathroom. i saw the laundry basket on the floor. The shower was still running.
'Frank, why did you put the laundry basket against the door?' Still no answer. I pulled the shower curtain to one side.
'Oh my God! Frank!' I screamed. The plug was in and the water was filling the shower cubicle slowly. Frank was sprawled on the floor, unconscious.
'Frank...' i whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks. I leant close to him. He wasn't breathing. Oh God.
'Frank, what have you done?' I cried.