One More Time Left to Say Your Goodbyes

I stubbed my eighth straight cigarette out on the concrete of the parking lot before checking my phone again. It'd been a couple hours since I was forcibly ejected from Max's shitty motel room, a few hours since I read multiple horrified and angry texts from both Casey and Ronnie, and a few hours since my hangover had started.
I really shouldn't have drank so much.

I'd gone to a local clinic and asked if there was a way they could tell if any drink I had taken within the past twenty-four hours had been laced or spiked. Took the obligatory piss-in-an-orange-cup test and gave my information. I was still waiting on the phone call. The only thing I sent back to Ronnie was that Max Green might have drugged me. It was a shit excuse, but it was still something.

"Get the fuck up and out of my bed, you stupid whore! I am so goddamn sick of seeing your face everywhere I go." Max's face was angry and red as he hitched up his pair of sports shorts, throwing objects at me in bed.
"Every goddamn time. High school: I was getting back on track until you decided to worm your way into my brain. And even now. I had a great girlfriend with a lot of fucking on the side. I was on tour making music. Ronnie and I weren't fighting as badly as we are now. And you decide to come back and ruin everything. I hope you've learnt your fucking lesson, Charlie."

I gritted my teeth as my pulse raced. He had set this whole thing on purpose to fuck my relationships with Casey and Ronnie. I hope they're as furious with him as they are with me, holy shit.

I'm on my way.

I closed Ronnie's text, my throat constricting as I anticipated, not his anger, but his utter disappointment with me. I was so angry at myself. Why did everything have to be so fucked up?

Ronnie got out of his car and sat down next to me, his hands in his pockets. I could see bags under his eyes, and it instantly made me feel even more guilty.

"Casey won't stop crying. It took me hours before I could convince her to go lie down. She's probably up again now, sending Max more angry voicemails and texts." I nodded in reply, not trusting myself to speak.

"Charlie, I...I sometimes don't even know what goes on with you. Max, he um, he told me that you said last night that you just wanted to fuck around with me...you didn't...l-love me..."
I winced as his voice broke on the last few words. I said that? "But, you said that Max could've drugged you. And technically his taking advantage of you could be classified as rape. I just..." He sighed and ran a hand through his black hair. "Why did you even go over there?"

I swallowed before speaking, fiddling with loose pebbles on the ground. "He said that he wanted to try and put things right with Casey. I'm not even really sure. He sounded remorseful." I snorted. "It's Max Fucking Green, though. I don't know, Ronnie. I made a mistake, I know, and I'm sorry. Please believe me, if I had a decent sense of mind I would never have done what I did. I feel terrible about everything that's happened. Our lives are just too fucked up right now..."

Ronnie opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of my ringtone cut him off.

"Hello?"

"Is this Charlotte Fallon? We recently received the results of your urine test, and we detected large amounts of Rohypnol, a common date-rape drug. If you'd like we can recommend you to a Women's Help Center in case you're in need of further assistance?"

It took me a second to reply before I told the clinic lady no and hung up. I relayed the information to Ronnie before running my hands through my hair. I lit up another cigarette as he walked a short distance away, on the phone with Casey. I heard him using a consoling tone of voice, but there was a hint of bitterness to it.

My cigarette was almost gone by the time he was back at my side.

"Casey wants us to come over so we can talk about all of this. She's not that angry at you, Char, she's just really distraught in general." I nodded.

We got into his car and he turned on the radio, blasting a Led Zeppelin song and making wildly inappropriate turns. I was thankful we didn't run into a brick building during a sharp turn. Ronnie unbuckled his seatbelt after settling in the parking lot, but I just sat in the faux leather and didn't move, staring at the fence in front of us.

"Why does everything with me have to be so damn complicated, Ronnie? Why is everything so fucked?"

It took him a few seconds before he responded, rubbing my hand between his thumb and index finger. "Because nothing fucked was ever easy, except- oh shit wait that's not right. Uh, I mean...I don't really know. I guess some people just aren't privy to a normal, boring life, Char." He gave me a small smile.

We walked up the steps and knocked on the door to Casey's apartment. I heard a lot of commotion coming from inside, and for a minute I thought Max might've come back. But when Casey opened the door it was just her inside. Her eyes were red and her hair unkempt, and she glared at me before allowing us to come in, another wave of sobs racking her.

"Casey. calm down. We're here now, and-"

"Shut up, Ronnie!" The look on her face was terrifying. "I'm not upset from that. I just got a call from the hospital." My heart stuttered as Ronnie's eyes went wide.
"Max was just admitted. He OD'd."