Status: One Shot and Done.
Lucky
One Shot - Lucky
Day of the Party
“So that’s it, you’re going?”
Cait looked up at the sound of his voice. “This is a going away party, Mike. After which someone typically goes somewhere.”
He leaned against the doorframe, legs crossed and one flip flop bent under the ball of his foot. His hair was longer than usual, that stupid Mohawk and finally grown out and then some. She hadn’t seen him in almost three months.
“But Costa Rica? Nicaragua? Last time I heard of those countries my 7th grade history teacher was talking about guerilla warfare.”
“It’s perfectly safe. And I am not a rookie,” Cait finally located the book she wanted in the mess under her bed. Dusting off the cover, she stood and wiped her hands on her shorts. She’d grown her hair out too, now in a light brown braid over one shoulder with long bangs hanging free. Washington DC was so hot in the summer that the simple act of walking through the house had her green tank top stuck to her skin. Mike knew that was the exact same green as her eyes.
“In six weeks, the season will be ready to start again.”
“I will be back to cheer you on, Mike. I won’t miss it.”
____
Five Months before the Party
The Washington Capitals were on top of the world. They were mopping up the Eastern Conference and even in early March were heavily favored to win the President’s Trophy as the team in with the most points in the NHL. The city loved them. Especially Caitlin Feely.
Caitlin grew up in Boston sharing a love of hockey with her brother Danny, barely two years older. Now they both lived in DC. Danny’s law office had season tickets and he took Cait as often as he could. She certainly didn’t have the money. Through his office, Danny knew people who knew people and eventually met some of the Caps players. Then they became friends, started hanging out. Caitlin was honestly impressed.
In March ’09, Caitlin was celebrating two years of a low-paying job with lofty ideals at Amnesty International. Her anniversary coincided with their favorite holiday and Danny promised her a party she would never forget.
The first time she met Mike, Danny had pushed her up against him in a crowd of people.
“Hold that,” he said to Mike, talking about his sister. As instructed, Mike wrapped his arm around Cait’s shoulder and pulled her in close amid the seething mass of people.
“Hi,” Mike said, looking down at her. Their winter coats combined to form a bouncy layer between their bodies. People around them shifted for position, forcing Cait deeper into Mike’s chest.
“Hi,” she could see her breath. “I’m Caitlin.”
Mike smiled. “Ahh, the sister. I didn’t think Danny would toss me his girlfriend like that.”
“Danny doesn’t have a…,” Cait started, then laughed. “If he did, he would. That’s why he doesn’t have one.”
Mike turned forward, but they could really only see the backs of the people in front of them. A few rows up, horses and floats trundled past and bagpipes blasted along the parade route.
“With a name like Caitlin, you should drink for free today,” he said.
“You’ll do just fine, Mr. Green.”
They watched a good half hour of the parade, Mike’s arm around her the whole time. He didn’t seem to notice, and she didn’t seem to mind.
Hours and beers passed, along with the parade and a number of U Street bars. Caitlin’s friends met up with them, appeared and disappeared in crowds, were and were not there. All day she stuck close to Danny, and thus to Mike and a couple of the other guys. The Caps were pretty recognizable, so it was pretty much her only chance at getting a drink anyway. They danced with some men in kilts, passed shots of Jameson and downed pints of Guinness. Typical St. Patrick’s Day. Finally they found a place with one empty table. Caitlin wanted to lie across it but knew the guys would just use her as a coaster. She dropped into a chair, happily fuzzy and smiling.
Mike sat next to her and began peeling off his coat. Caitlin fought her way through the tangle of layers – it was 40 degrees outside and 80 degrees in the bar. Finally she got down to the bottom.
“Woah,” Mike said. His eyes were wide in surprise and he was not looking at her face.
“What?!”
“Cait, you’re kinda hot,” he continued, slurring his words a little. “I mean, you’re pretty but you’re also hot. Don’t put that jacket back on, ‘kay?”
Caitlin laughed and slapped him on the arm. But when the shots came around she took the biggest one. Because this was Mike Green. Superstar hockey player and close friend of her older brother. She wasn’t sure which was more intimidating.
In the end, it would up being neither. Two bars later and everything was getting very wobbly. They gave in after eight solid hours of partying and poured themselves into a cab. They ended up at Mike’s, since his place was biggest. Naturally.
“You can take a nap in here if you want,” Mike pushed a door open and Caitlin gratefully took his advice. She was asleep in minutes. Sometime later, she woke to a person climbing in next to her.
“What the…,” she tried to lift her head. “Uhhhhhhhh.” So much for that. She cracked an eyelid to see Mike’s red face on the pillow next to her.
“You’re in my bed,” he said as if it were obvious.
“I thought this was… guest room…,” she dropped to a whisper.
Mike pulled the blankets up around his shoulders. “Danny’s in there.”
Even drunk and mostly asleep, Cait had the wherewithal to appreciate the situation – she was in Mike’s bed, with now with Mike, while her older brother slept across the hall. Add 20 beers and shake for maximum reaction. Mike slid in close and put an arm over her side.
“Mike, get on your side…”
His lips closed over hers, stopping her protest, along with her brain and her heart. It was soft at first, then increasingly drunken and sloppy. The temperature under all those covers skyrocketed, so it seemed perfectly acceptable for Cait to pull her top off then help Mike do the same. There was more kissing and probably some touching, but things were very blurry from there on out.
When Cait next opened her eyes, she saw a watch. A big, expensive-looking men’s watch. Connected to an arm, which was connected to a big, expensive-looking hockey player. Mike mumbled something that sounded like “Lucky Charms” and repositioned himself closer. Her head pounded. It took at least a full minute to discern by feel if she was wearing pants (she was) and a shirt (she was not, but apparently had her bra on). The same was true of Mike. Unable to process more than the pain and the nudity, Caitlin lay perfectly still and willed herself back to sleep.
Mike woke a while later. He slowly lifted an arm to reveal the fair, bare skin of a back beneath. The green backstrap of a bra crossed at its middle, and he followed the spine down a mile of flesh to the waist of sweatpants that looked very familiar. Cait stirred, making her hair tickle his face. When he moved, his body revolted. His brain had surely swollen three sizes like the Grinch’s heart. So he too lay quietly, focusing on Cait’s low, even breathing to rock himself back to sleep.
Cait finally woke for good to find herself more than halfway underneath Mike. His broad, shirtless chest was pressed to hers, his face nuzzled into her neck and one hand buried under her far side. She couldn’t have moved even if the freight train in her head had stopped.
“Mike,” she whispered.
“Stop yelling,” he whined.
She laughed, making him laughed. Then they both gasped in pain.
“Can you roll over?” she said more softly.
“You’re topless and I’m totally gonna look. Just so you know.” And he did as he slowly levered onto his side. “Nice bra.”
Caitlin would have covered herself or exhibited some other modesty but she was afraid of throwing up. Her bra was bright green with a shamrock on one cup – she wore it all the time, not just St. Patrick’s Day.
“It’s 9 AM,” she groaned. “We’ve been asleep for ten hours.”
Mike’s eyes were closed again. “Our first sleepover and we slept right through it.” The laughing still brought pain.
“Guess we’ll have to do it again,” she said. She wasn’t sure how far they’d gone, but as soon as her body stopped rioting around her she would be willing to try a do-over.
Mike got one eye open. “If I could get a mulligan on every first date, I’d have a lot more second dates.”
____
Day of the Party
“When do you leave?” He crossed the threshold and sat at the desk. She got a whiff of his cologne as he passed close – it always smelled stronger when the weather was warmer.
“Four days.”
“And this is all you’re taking?”
Caitlin was in mid-pack with carefully folded piles all around her room. Everything from travel toothpaste to iodine tablets and a mosquito net lined the walls. Mike rifled through a stack of first aid supplies, his big hands making a mess of her careful organization.
“Probably half of what you see,” she said. “The motto is, don’t pack anything you can’t lift.”
Mike looked at her a little sadly as he takes in the advice.
____
Four Months before the Party
The Capitals won the President’s Trophy and rolled into the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Without pretense or seemingly any effort at all, Mike and Caitlin had started hanging out immediately after St. Patrick’s Day and never stopped. They’d had their do-over sleep over just a few days later and never looked back. In the three weeks that had passed, they were operating as a couple without ever calling themselves that.
Caitlin was beside herself about the playoffs. She’d never even been to a playoff game, forget being there to cheer on someone she was dating. She even started thinking that Geico caveman was kinda funny. Cait had it bad.
Mike wanted to fly her to every away game. When her work got in the way he wanted to tell her to quit, that he’d give her money or pay her rent or whatever. She was so genuinely excited, about him and the team, that he wanted her around all the time. He fed off her energy at a time when the physical toll of the season usually showed.
“It’s going to be a great summer,” he said.
“Promise?” she smiled.
“Promise.”
The Caps lost the first game to Montreal, then won the next three. The first round looked like a lock. Mike was mentally planning the next series while Caitlin warned he shouldn’t get ahead of himself. She was a superstitious as some of the guys about what you could say, couldn’t do. He thought it was cute.
Then they lost two games in a row and the series tied 3-3. Mike was under more stress than he’d ever been. The Caps were pouring on the shots, playing their game and still they lost because the Montreal goalie was some kind of force field off the Death Star. They just couldn’t beat him. And in the end, he beat them.
When the buzzer sounded on game 7, Mike’s heart dropped into his feet. It wasn’t even May and the President’s Cup champions were going home. More than just devastating, it was also humiliating. He stayed in DC for a week. Caitlin did her best to sit with him, feel it out, cheer him up sometimes but mostly just let him have a good wallow in his misery. Usually he’d come out of it. This time, he couldn’t.
She doesn’t get it, he kept thinking. Yes she was sad, but it was just a game to her, just a hobby or a distraction. It wasn’t her whole life, hopes and dreams and a zillion dollar contract and the promise he had all but said out loud to deliver his team to a championship. Caitlin didn’t cliché him to death like a lot of the players’ girls: next year, next time, you’re still young. She just waited. But even that wasn’t enough. Mike couldn’t be around anyone who didn’t feel like their life was ruined.
He packed up and went home to Calgary. At first it was just for a visit. But two weeks turned into three and it slowly became clear to both of them that he wasn’t coming back to DC. Caitlin was supportive at first, then confused, then angry. Mike was letting one season ruin him, and he’d never get to 15 seasons that way. Now was the time to train and focus and prepare, like guys were doing as the other teams dropped like flies. But Mike couldn’t get out of his funk. Eventually the calls all but stopped, the text messages went from flirty to friendly to fuck you. That was it.
By the time Chicago hoisted the Cup, Mike was feeling a little better. Now it was over for everyone. He started to work on himself but it was another few weeks before his head was on straight again.
It happened on the Canada Day – it seemed they had a thing for holidays. Mike woke up lonely and realized immediately that he missed Caitlin immensely. Like a curtain going up and allowing you to see the audience, Mike saw his life clearly for the first time since May. And all the chairs were empty. He called her, she didn’t answer. He tried Danny, same result. He emailed and texted. Finally, after a week-long constant barrage, Caitlin answered.
“Cait, thank God.”
“What do you want, Mike?” Her tone was flat and lifeless.
“I’m so sorry, I’ve been such a jerk. I didn’t mean to take it so hard and… I want to see you. Can I come down? Can you come here? Get on a plane right now.”
The line was silent so long he thought the call had dropped.
“I don’t think so,” she eventually said in a quiet voice.
It really hit him then. She doesn’t want to see me. He hadn’t wanted to see her and thought it was fine, that his my right. Now it was reversed and he was so wrong.
“Caitlin, please, I’m sorry. How about we just talk? I’ll call you every day, like before. It’s already July – I’ll be back in DC in six weeks. If you want to wait till then, that’s cool. I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get home, we can…”
“I won’t be here.”
“What?” He spit the question out like a bullet.
“I’m going away for a while. I won’t be here when you get back.”
___
Two Weeks before the Party
So he changed his schedule and went back a few weeks early in hopes of catching her. And on his first day, he found her reading in her favorite spot in the park. She’d been short and sullen. Mike’s heart fell flat as road kill as he realized that all his calls and flowers and everything he’d done since July had not served to change her mood. She revealed just enough about her trip that he knew it was a done deal. He finally left the park feeling worse than he did when he’d left DC in May.
Caitlin saw him once more after that, at the bookstore. More precisely, the bookstore where they’d wandered around, holding hands and making up stories based on titles they saw. Where they’d laughed and kissed. She ducked out of an aisle and hurried away before he could see her.
He’d seen her, of course. And he’d seen her run away.
____
Day of the Party
“Why are you going?” He finally asked the question that had been on his mind since July 1.
She gave him the packaged answer – she’s always wanted to go, had saved up the money, blah blah blah. Caitlin seemed to sense that her response was rote and that Mike wasn’t buying it.
“You’re not the only one who can disappear for two months whenever they feel like it.”
There it was – she was still hurt and angry. Mike watched her eyelashes flutter like she was pushing something away. Her hands were wrapped around the book – The Alchemist, he could see, but in Spanish. He pointed to it.
“You’ve been practicing Spanish,” he said, proud of himself for noticing.
She shrugged. “No one else to talk to.”
His shoulders sagged. She wasn’t giving him an inch. Not that he’d thought this would be easy; in fact, he’d expected more anger. A quick anger that burned hot and then flared out. She’d scream and cry, throw a few things then take him back. Even if they’d never really been anything official, Mike knew that Cait felt strongly for him. Otherwise she wouldn’t be so mad.
“Cait, please don’t go,” he said, giving up all pretense. “I don’t want you to go.”
“You didn’t ask what I wanted when you left, Mike. You just went. Only you didn’t even tell me. Maybe I’ll find a hut on a beach and stay away as long as I want, anybody’s guess if you’ll ever see me again.” Her hands had moved to her hips, the way a teacher talks to a whiny child. Mike felt that way, sitting before her with his posture bowed.
“You knew I was coming back,” he tried.
“Coming back for the game and coming back for me are not the same thing. You left because of the game and I got left behind.”
____
One Week before the Party
“Hey Mike.”
Mike was so surprised Danny actually picked up the phone that he almost waited for the beep. “Hey Danny. Long time, buddy.”
“Yeah, well… now you’re back. Ready for training camp?”
They chatted for a while, consciously avoiding any talk about the summer. Mike talked about his training regimen, Danny about the new case he was working on. They agreed to get a beer that evening – Mike could wait that long. When they got to the bar, Danny didn’t beat around the bush.
“So, you saw Cait.”
“And she hates me,” Mike said. “Rightfully so.”
Danny just nodded and sipped his drink. “She’s a very strong person, and that was not a good time for her. Don’t see her get knocked down too often.”
Mike wanted to explain or make excuses, but he had nothing to say for himself. Instead he asked about Cait’s trip. Danny gave up the details that Cait had refused – she was backpacking solo through Central America for six weeks. She’d left her job and would look for a new one when she came home. If she came home. The ticket was changeable.
“Don’t you worry about her being alone?” Mike asked.
“Before you came along, I never worried about Cait at all,” Danny answered.
____
Four Days before the Party
“I knew you’d be here. Too nice to miss,” Mike tossed his bag down and sat next to Caitlin’s towel. She was in her favorite spot again. He took that as a sign that maybe she’d wanted him to find her. It was 75 degrees and sunny with little humidity – as perfect a day as DC could offer.
“I might need a new spot,” she said, but she sat up. Mike took two plums from his bag and offered her one. As she ate it, he also dug out a plastic bag.
“I got you something for your trip.” It was a small paperback book called Emergency Spanish with words and phrases for every worst-case scenario. Cait paged through it, trying out some of the crazier options.
“I hope I don’t have to say, ‘Help me driver, there’s a snake around my leg.’” And she laughed. He was so relieved to hear it he almost kissed her right then. Instead he asked for another phrase. When they got to the back of the book, Cait discovered the section called ‘Emergency Flirting.’
“’We’re having an earthquake, take off your pants’?” Cait howled. “These pickup lines are amazing.”
It hadn’t really occurred to Mike that Cait might meet someone on her trip. A hot foreign guy for a sexy fling like women were always doing in romantic comedies. He’d been busy worrying about keeping her from leaving or bringing her back as quickly as possible. Now the weight on his chest grew heavier.
“Does it tell you how to say, ‘My boyfriend’s a hockey player, he’ll kick your ass’?”
Cait gave him a look that said back up, buddy. But inside she smiled – she’d deliberately read this section to rile him up. And who knew? Maybe she’d go all Eat, Pray, Love and come home with a gorgeous Latino boyfriend in tow. As she looked at Mike she knew it was unlikely, but she forced herself to keep the option open.
“It does have, ‘Go away or I’ll pickle your balls in this tequila’.’ That should work.”
He stayed another half hour before he started to run out of things to say that didn’t start with “Please” or “I’m sorry.” When he left, she thanked him.
____
One Day before the Party
Mike came out of the shower at the gym and Eric Fehr was waiting for him. Most of the guys were back in town a few days before camp started, working out and getting ready. They’d just done a weight session with one of the trainers and Mike could already feel soreness building in his shoulders.
“Are you coming tomorrow night?” Eric asked.
“To what?”
Eric rolled his eyes. “Fucking Cait. She’s having a going away party, and she told me you knew.”
Why would Cait lie? he wondered. Unless she thought Eric wouldn’t mention it if he thought I knew, then I’d never find out.
“Maybe she’ll call you today.”
Mike didn’t want to wait. He had refrained from calling her after the park, but knew he was going to have to say goodbye in the next few days. He had to see her before she left. Feeling rash and frantic, he pulled out his phone right there.
“Did Eric tell you?” she answered without saying hello.
“Can I come?”
“Yeah, you’re invited Mike. See you tomorrow.” And she hung up.
____
Day of the Party
Mike made Eric go with him and they arrived at exactly 8 PM, carrying a case of beer and a dozen cupcakes from Cait’s favorite bakery. He also brought a present and a plan. He knew most of her friends and they were civil, if a little cool. Danny helped by being overly nice. By the time a few of the other Caps players arrived, Mike felt as comfortable as he could expect.
“Thanks for the cupcakes, Mikey,” she said, licking the chocolate frosting from the top of the one in her hand. It was the first time she’d used that nickname since May.
Cait had hung an enlarged map of Costa Rica and Nicaragua on the living room wall. Along the side were pictures of things found in each country – jewelry, handicrafts, even a toucan and a tree frog. Everyone wrote their name on a photo and stuck it on the map as a request for that particular souvenir. Mike put his name on a picture of coffee and posted it over the Costa Rican rainforest. If she brought it back, maybe they could drink it together with breakfast one morning.
He watched her mingle through the party. She wore denim shorts and a green tank top with bare feet. Multicolored beaded bracelets tangled around her wrist – those were new this summer. The smooth skin of her legs was tanned from all those days in the park. Seeing her here, where they’d been together so many times, and watching her talk, laugh and touch reminded Mike how much he missed her, needed her and just how careless he’d truly been with her. The way her hair swept over one shoulder revealed the exact spot where he loved to kiss her upon waking up in the same bed. The polish on her toenails was the same color she’d been wearing the night of their first sleepover. Everything from the way she moved her hands when telling a story to the way she pressed the cold beer bottle to her neck made mike ache to touch her, kiss her, show and tell her how sorry he was. More than anything he wanted to make her a promise.
____
For the second time that night he followed her to her room. She’d already said her piece about not getting involved with the game. Now he wanted his say, to try to change her mind.
“Cait,” he took the same position in the doorway, while she rooted through her closet. She came up holding a yoga mat. Her bangs hung over side of her face and Mike desperately wanted to push them from her face. The serious look on his face made Cait stay quiet as she stood.
“I will be here, waiting, when you get back,” was all he said.
“And what makes you think I’ll be waiting? What makes you think I’m still waiting now?” she challenged.
He pulled a small velvet bag from his pocket and shook something into his hand. Then he held it out, and opened his palm to reveal a silver Irish claddaugh ring.
“Cait, please come back to me.”
The Claddaugh ring shows two hands holding a heart, topped by a crown. The way a person wears it denotes their romantic availability – heart pointing out means they’re available and hoping to find love, heart pointing in means their love has already been captured.
“Where was this three months ago? When you wouldn’t answer my calls or tell me why you weren’t coming home?”
Mike’s heart is bursting. The look on Caitlin’s face shows all the hope she had for them, and all the betrayal she felt when he took it away. The pain there is worse than what he felt, not really knowing what he was doing. Caitlin knew all along what he was doing to her.
“I know I made a mistake Caitlin. I can’t take it back. But this is the time, this is the place. Be better than I was. Don’t leave me out.”
Cait took the ring from Mike’s hand. “I will wear this, but I’m wearing it with the heart open. I don’t know what’s going to happen, Mike. Probably nothing. But you broke your promise to me. And I will not make one to you.”
She slid the ring onto her right hand and looked at it for a long moment. Mike gave into his urge and pushed the hair back from her cheek. He stood close, knowing his physical presence had an effect on her, and hoped it would block out the whole world from that room if only for a moment.
“It’s beautiful,” she said. “But you’ll have to wait and see, Mike. We’ll both have to wait and see.”
____
Night before Caitlin Leaves
She pulls open the door, already knowing it’s Mike, arriving unannounced and uninvited.
“What do you want to do with your last night in the US?”
He wore shorts and a t-shirt, and his big, strong body produced the same feeling in Caitlin that it always had. Lust and protection, such a strange combination. She willed herself to be strong, knowing that once she got on that plane she’d have plenty to think about for six weeks. It wasn’t even that long a trip. She did not need anything to cloud her mind and make her forget what had happened.
“I have no food, let’s go eat.”
It was easy to slip back into their old ways. Cait could feel that Mike wanted to hold her hand as they walked. He chose their old favorite restaurant. The owner knew Mike and remembered Caitlin – he assumed they’d been away together for the summer and brought them a complimentary bottle of champagne. Mike steered all conversation away from the summer and asked lots of questions about her trip. She knew he wasn’t really that interested, but she felt pacified that he was trying.
Mike listened to her talk and came to see how much this trip meant to her. She told him things she’d never shared before – where she’d traveled before, how she liked traveling alone. In truth, they’d only known each other two months before he left. There were so many things he didn’t know about Caitlin and he hoped to get another chance at them when she came home.
Home, he thought. I guess DC is my home now. Normally he thought of Calgary as home, but ever since he had something to come back to in DC, he had started to feel like he belonged here. And now that something was leaving.
“Can I come see you off tomorrow?” he asked as they walked back to Caitlin’s apartment.
“Danny’s driving me to the airport, we’re leaving here at Noon,” she went to go inside, then stopped. “Thanks for dinner, Mike. I had a good time.”
____
Day Caitlin Leaves
Mike arrived at 11 AM. He watched Caitlin cram the last few things into her bag and helped adjust it to evenly bear the weight. Then he zipped it inside its own rain over that doubled as a traveling sack. She wasn’t subleasing her apartment, so she left everything as is.
“I never asked, where’d you get the money to do this?” Mike said, looking at the space that would stay empty for six weeks.
“It’s all the money I’ve saved,” she said. “So it had better be worth it!”
Danny arrived at 11:30 AM and did not look surprised when Mike opened the door. They did a final check of everything, carried out the last of the trash and locked all the windows.
Cait handed Danny a clear plastic folder. “Here’s a copy of everything – my tickets, passport, insurance. Just in case something happens.” With a last look around, she followed them out of the apartment.
Danny parked in short term and they walked Caitlin inside. Once she had her boarding pass in hand, Danny gave her a huge hug and kiss, made her promise to call when she landed and then told Mike he’d be waiting in the car.
Mike walked Caitlin to security. He was suddenly awkward – he didn’t know the right kind of goodbye to give her, having failed to say goodbye at all the last time around. She’d checked her big backpack, so just a daypack hung from one shoulder. She swung it down and, to everyone’s surprise, opened her arms.
Mike fell into her hug like a magnet. It was the first real time he’d touched her since May, since saying he’d be back and knowing he probably wouldn’t, since missing her and cursing himself and praying for a miracle. His arms fit around her body the way they always had, the way they were meant to. She pressed against him, nervous about her trip and about the feelings that flooded back into her system. They stood embracing for a good five minutes.
“Come back to me,” he whispered into her hair.
“No promises, Mike.”
“I just want you to know,” he said.
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. It was killing her not to say yes, not to give in, not to jump right off the ledge where she was standing. But she needed space and time alone to decide if she could forgive him, if she could trust someone who’d hurt her not to do it again. And that space was just beyond the rope behind her.
“I will miss you,” he said.
“I missed you too,” she answered both what he’d said and what he really meant.
“See you in six weeks,” he kissed her cheek.
“If you’re lucky,” she said, smiling back at him. Then, because it was too perfect to pass up, she pressed a quick kiss to his soft, familiar lips. Tiny fireworks exploded inside her stomach and she broke away before they could spread.
“No promises,” she repeated, and wove her way into the security line.
____
Six Weeks Later
Caitlin looked at herself in the airplane bathroom mirror. Six weeks in the sun and she was tan as a wallet, looking skinnier due to hiking and swimming and eating fresh, local food. She felt good, healthy and strong. She felt clear and she finally felt sure.
After landing, Caitlin collected her very dirty daypack and pulled on the sweatshirt she couldn’t wait to throw away. It had been a pillow and a blanket and a seat cushion and had once held a fish she caught straight from the sea. It wasn’t an ideal outfit for homecoming.
She rushed through the terminal to the security exit. Danny would be there. She wondered if Mike would be too. If he’d given up, or decided to let her make whatever move came next. If six weeks had proven too long for him to wait. She passed the last checkpoint, voices from the pickup area echoing toward her in the large hallway. People shouting hello, drivers shouting passenger names. She walked toward the sound.
She turned the corner and screamed. Everyone she knew was there – at least ten friends plus five of the Caps players, everyone holding balloons and flowers. Front and center were Danny and Mike. As she looked to the middle, so did everyone else. Mike held a sign that just said ‘Caitlin’, like he was her chauffeur. When she got closer, he turned the sign around:
Am I lucky?
She’d seen that look on his face before, when he took a shot from the point and hoped it found the net, when he tried to will the puck into the goal with the sheer force of his mind. It was an expression of hope and luck and surrender to fate.
Caitlin ran the last twelve steps to the barricade, threw her arms around Mike and kissed him.
Everyone went nuts – screaming and jumping around. If Cait could have thought, she’d know that Mike spent the six weeks she was away courting every single friend who’d helped her during the time he disappeared. He wined and dined and pleaded and begged until every single one of them forgave him for ditching her and agreed to help him win her back. He was so sincere that her friends could not resist. And they had seen Cait happy with Mike – they wanted that back for her. But she was busy delivering a kiss that had been six weeks in the making.
Caitlin had decided on the third day that she would go back to Mike. She’d gotten so far away and realized how easy it would be to forget home, just for a little while – and she hadn’t even lost anything. In reality she was just running, running from the hole Mike had left in her life. When he’d wanted to come back, she was busy filling his place with this dream, this ambition. Now that she had achieved it, she knew something would have to take its place. And nothing filled a Mike-shaped hole like the man himself. So before she could really forget anything – good, bad or ugly – or do anything she’s regret – there were a lot of surfers around – Cait made her decision. Then she turned his Claddaugh ring around to show the world she was spoken for and proceeded to have the time of her life.
When their kiss ended, Mike picked Caitlin up and lifted her over the barricade. The whole troop waited while her bag tumbled from the carousel, and then proceeded right to their favorite bar. Weary, grungy and bedraggled from non-stop travel, Caitlin was happier than she’d ever been. Mike put a chair under her, a beer in her hand and then kissed her again.
“Thank you for coming back to me,” he whispered closely.
“Thank you for waiting,” she said.
“So that’s it, you’re going?”
Cait looked up at the sound of his voice. “This is a going away party, Mike. After which someone typically goes somewhere.”
He leaned against the doorframe, legs crossed and one flip flop bent under the ball of his foot. His hair was longer than usual, that stupid Mohawk and finally grown out and then some. She hadn’t seen him in almost three months.
“But Costa Rica? Nicaragua? Last time I heard of those countries my 7th grade history teacher was talking about guerilla warfare.”
“It’s perfectly safe. And I am not a rookie,” Cait finally located the book she wanted in the mess under her bed. Dusting off the cover, she stood and wiped her hands on her shorts. She’d grown her hair out too, now in a light brown braid over one shoulder with long bangs hanging free. Washington DC was so hot in the summer that the simple act of walking through the house had her green tank top stuck to her skin. Mike knew that was the exact same green as her eyes.
“In six weeks, the season will be ready to start again.”
“I will be back to cheer you on, Mike. I won’t miss it.”
____
Five Months before the Party
The Washington Capitals were on top of the world. They were mopping up the Eastern Conference and even in early March were heavily favored to win the President’s Trophy as the team in with the most points in the NHL. The city loved them. Especially Caitlin Feely.
Caitlin grew up in Boston sharing a love of hockey with her brother Danny, barely two years older. Now they both lived in DC. Danny’s law office had season tickets and he took Cait as often as he could. She certainly didn’t have the money. Through his office, Danny knew people who knew people and eventually met some of the Caps players. Then they became friends, started hanging out. Caitlin was honestly impressed.
In March ’09, Caitlin was celebrating two years of a low-paying job with lofty ideals at Amnesty International. Her anniversary coincided with their favorite holiday and Danny promised her a party she would never forget.
The first time she met Mike, Danny had pushed her up against him in a crowd of people.
“Hold that,” he said to Mike, talking about his sister. As instructed, Mike wrapped his arm around Cait’s shoulder and pulled her in close amid the seething mass of people.
“Hi,” Mike said, looking down at her. Their winter coats combined to form a bouncy layer between their bodies. People around them shifted for position, forcing Cait deeper into Mike’s chest.
“Hi,” she could see her breath. “I’m Caitlin.”
Mike smiled. “Ahh, the sister. I didn’t think Danny would toss me his girlfriend like that.”
“Danny doesn’t have a…,” Cait started, then laughed. “If he did, he would. That’s why he doesn’t have one.”
Mike turned forward, but they could really only see the backs of the people in front of them. A few rows up, horses and floats trundled past and bagpipes blasted along the parade route.
“With a name like Caitlin, you should drink for free today,” he said.
“You’ll do just fine, Mr. Green.”
They watched a good half hour of the parade, Mike’s arm around her the whole time. He didn’t seem to notice, and she didn’t seem to mind.
Hours and beers passed, along with the parade and a number of U Street bars. Caitlin’s friends met up with them, appeared and disappeared in crowds, were and were not there. All day she stuck close to Danny, and thus to Mike and a couple of the other guys. The Caps were pretty recognizable, so it was pretty much her only chance at getting a drink anyway. They danced with some men in kilts, passed shots of Jameson and downed pints of Guinness. Typical St. Patrick’s Day. Finally they found a place with one empty table. Caitlin wanted to lie across it but knew the guys would just use her as a coaster. She dropped into a chair, happily fuzzy and smiling.
Mike sat next to her and began peeling off his coat. Caitlin fought her way through the tangle of layers – it was 40 degrees outside and 80 degrees in the bar. Finally she got down to the bottom.
“Woah,” Mike said. His eyes were wide in surprise and he was not looking at her face.
“What?!”
“Cait, you’re kinda hot,” he continued, slurring his words a little. “I mean, you’re pretty but you’re also hot. Don’t put that jacket back on, ‘kay?”
Caitlin laughed and slapped him on the arm. But when the shots came around she took the biggest one. Because this was Mike Green. Superstar hockey player and close friend of her older brother. She wasn’t sure which was more intimidating.
In the end, it would up being neither. Two bars later and everything was getting very wobbly. They gave in after eight solid hours of partying and poured themselves into a cab. They ended up at Mike’s, since his place was biggest. Naturally.
“You can take a nap in here if you want,” Mike pushed a door open and Caitlin gratefully took his advice. She was asleep in minutes. Sometime later, she woke to a person climbing in next to her.
“What the…,” she tried to lift her head. “Uhhhhhhhh.” So much for that. She cracked an eyelid to see Mike’s red face on the pillow next to her.
“You’re in my bed,” he said as if it were obvious.
“I thought this was… guest room…,” she dropped to a whisper.
Mike pulled the blankets up around his shoulders. “Danny’s in there.”
Even drunk and mostly asleep, Cait had the wherewithal to appreciate the situation – she was in Mike’s bed, with now with Mike, while her older brother slept across the hall. Add 20 beers and shake for maximum reaction. Mike slid in close and put an arm over her side.
“Mike, get on your side…”
His lips closed over hers, stopping her protest, along with her brain and her heart. It was soft at first, then increasingly drunken and sloppy. The temperature under all those covers skyrocketed, so it seemed perfectly acceptable for Cait to pull her top off then help Mike do the same. There was more kissing and probably some touching, but things were very blurry from there on out.
When Cait next opened her eyes, she saw a watch. A big, expensive-looking men’s watch. Connected to an arm, which was connected to a big, expensive-looking hockey player. Mike mumbled something that sounded like “Lucky Charms” and repositioned himself closer. Her head pounded. It took at least a full minute to discern by feel if she was wearing pants (she was) and a shirt (she was not, but apparently had her bra on). The same was true of Mike. Unable to process more than the pain and the nudity, Caitlin lay perfectly still and willed herself back to sleep.
Mike woke a while later. He slowly lifted an arm to reveal the fair, bare skin of a back beneath. The green backstrap of a bra crossed at its middle, and he followed the spine down a mile of flesh to the waist of sweatpants that looked very familiar. Cait stirred, making her hair tickle his face. When he moved, his body revolted. His brain had surely swollen three sizes like the Grinch’s heart. So he too lay quietly, focusing on Cait’s low, even breathing to rock himself back to sleep.
Cait finally woke for good to find herself more than halfway underneath Mike. His broad, shirtless chest was pressed to hers, his face nuzzled into her neck and one hand buried under her far side. She couldn’t have moved even if the freight train in her head had stopped.
“Mike,” she whispered.
“Stop yelling,” he whined.
She laughed, making him laughed. Then they both gasped in pain.
“Can you roll over?” she said more softly.
“You’re topless and I’m totally gonna look. Just so you know.” And he did as he slowly levered onto his side. “Nice bra.”
Caitlin would have covered herself or exhibited some other modesty but she was afraid of throwing up. Her bra was bright green with a shamrock on one cup – she wore it all the time, not just St. Patrick’s Day.
“It’s 9 AM,” she groaned. “We’ve been asleep for ten hours.”
Mike’s eyes were closed again. “Our first sleepover and we slept right through it.” The laughing still brought pain.
“Guess we’ll have to do it again,” she said. She wasn’t sure how far they’d gone, but as soon as her body stopped rioting around her she would be willing to try a do-over.
Mike got one eye open. “If I could get a mulligan on every first date, I’d have a lot more second dates.”
____
Day of the Party
“When do you leave?” He crossed the threshold and sat at the desk. She got a whiff of his cologne as he passed close – it always smelled stronger when the weather was warmer.
“Four days.”
“And this is all you’re taking?”
Caitlin was in mid-pack with carefully folded piles all around her room. Everything from travel toothpaste to iodine tablets and a mosquito net lined the walls. Mike rifled through a stack of first aid supplies, his big hands making a mess of her careful organization.
“Probably half of what you see,” she said. “The motto is, don’t pack anything you can’t lift.”
Mike looked at her a little sadly as he takes in the advice.
____
Four Months before the Party
The Capitals won the President’s Trophy and rolled into the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Without pretense or seemingly any effort at all, Mike and Caitlin had started hanging out immediately after St. Patrick’s Day and never stopped. They’d had their do-over sleep over just a few days later and never looked back. In the three weeks that had passed, they were operating as a couple without ever calling themselves that.
Caitlin was beside herself about the playoffs. She’d never even been to a playoff game, forget being there to cheer on someone she was dating. She even started thinking that Geico caveman was kinda funny. Cait had it bad.
Mike wanted to fly her to every away game. When her work got in the way he wanted to tell her to quit, that he’d give her money or pay her rent or whatever. She was so genuinely excited, about him and the team, that he wanted her around all the time. He fed off her energy at a time when the physical toll of the season usually showed.
“It’s going to be a great summer,” he said.
“Promise?” she smiled.
“Promise.”
The Caps lost the first game to Montreal, then won the next three. The first round looked like a lock. Mike was mentally planning the next series while Caitlin warned he shouldn’t get ahead of himself. She was a superstitious as some of the guys about what you could say, couldn’t do. He thought it was cute.
Then they lost two games in a row and the series tied 3-3. Mike was under more stress than he’d ever been. The Caps were pouring on the shots, playing their game and still they lost because the Montreal goalie was some kind of force field off the Death Star. They just couldn’t beat him. And in the end, he beat them.
When the buzzer sounded on game 7, Mike’s heart dropped into his feet. It wasn’t even May and the President’s Cup champions were going home. More than just devastating, it was also humiliating. He stayed in DC for a week. Caitlin did her best to sit with him, feel it out, cheer him up sometimes but mostly just let him have a good wallow in his misery. Usually he’d come out of it. This time, he couldn’t.
She doesn’t get it, he kept thinking. Yes she was sad, but it was just a game to her, just a hobby or a distraction. It wasn’t her whole life, hopes and dreams and a zillion dollar contract and the promise he had all but said out loud to deliver his team to a championship. Caitlin didn’t cliché him to death like a lot of the players’ girls: next year, next time, you’re still young. She just waited. But even that wasn’t enough. Mike couldn’t be around anyone who didn’t feel like their life was ruined.
He packed up and went home to Calgary. At first it was just for a visit. But two weeks turned into three and it slowly became clear to both of them that he wasn’t coming back to DC. Caitlin was supportive at first, then confused, then angry. Mike was letting one season ruin him, and he’d never get to 15 seasons that way. Now was the time to train and focus and prepare, like guys were doing as the other teams dropped like flies. But Mike couldn’t get out of his funk. Eventually the calls all but stopped, the text messages went from flirty to friendly to fuck you. That was it.
By the time Chicago hoisted the Cup, Mike was feeling a little better. Now it was over for everyone. He started to work on himself but it was another few weeks before his head was on straight again.
It happened on the Canada Day – it seemed they had a thing for holidays. Mike woke up lonely and realized immediately that he missed Caitlin immensely. Like a curtain going up and allowing you to see the audience, Mike saw his life clearly for the first time since May. And all the chairs were empty. He called her, she didn’t answer. He tried Danny, same result. He emailed and texted. Finally, after a week-long constant barrage, Caitlin answered.
“Cait, thank God.”
“What do you want, Mike?” Her tone was flat and lifeless.
“I’m so sorry, I’ve been such a jerk. I didn’t mean to take it so hard and… I want to see you. Can I come down? Can you come here? Get on a plane right now.”
The line was silent so long he thought the call had dropped.
“I don’t think so,” she eventually said in a quiet voice.
It really hit him then. She doesn’t want to see me. He hadn’t wanted to see her and thought it was fine, that his my right. Now it was reversed and he was so wrong.
“Caitlin, please, I’m sorry. How about we just talk? I’ll call you every day, like before. It’s already July – I’ll be back in DC in six weeks. If you want to wait till then, that’s cool. I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get home, we can…”
“I won’t be here.”
“What?” He spit the question out like a bullet.
“I’m going away for a while. I won’t be here when you get back.”
___
Two Weeks before the Party
So he changed his schedule and went back a few weeks early in hopes of catching her. And on his first day, he found her reading in her favorite spot in the park. She’d been short and sullen. Mike’s heart fell flat as road kill as he realized that all his calls and flowers and everything he’d done since July had not served to change her mood. She revealed just enough about her trip that he knew it was a done deal. He finally left the park feeling worse than he did when he’d left DC in May.
Caitlin saw him once more after that, at the bookstore. More precisely, the bookstore where they’d wandered around, holding hands and making up stories based on titles they saw. Where they’d laughed and kissed. She ducked out of an aisle and hurried away before he could see her.
He’d seen her, of course. And he’d seen her run away.
____
Day of the Party
“Why are you going?” He finally asked the question that had been on his mind since July 1.
She gave him the packaged answer – she’s always wanted to go, had saved up the money, blah blah blah. Caitlin seemed to sense that her response was rote and that Mike wasn’t buying it.
“You’re not the only one who can disappear for two months whenever they feel like it.”
There it was – she was still hurt and angry. Mike watched her eyelashes flutter like she was pushing something away. Her hands were wrapped around the book – The Alchemist, he could see, but in Spanish. He pointed to it.
“You’ve been practicing Spanish,” he said, proud of himself for noticing.
She shrugged. “No one else to talk to.”
His shoulders sagged. She wasn’t giving him an inch. Not that he’d thought this would be easy; in fact, he’d expected more anger. A quick anger that burned hot and then flared out. She’d scream and cry, throw a few things then take him back. Even if they’d never really been anything official, Mike knew that Cait felt strongly for him. Otherwise she wouldn’t be so mad.
“Cait, please don’t go,” he said, giving up all pretense. “I don’t want you to go.”
“You didn’t ask what I wanted when you left, Mike. You just went. Only you didn’t even tell me. Maybe I’ll find a hut on a beach and stay away as long as I want, anybody’s guess if you’ll ever see me again.” Her hands had moved to her hips, the way a teacher talks to a whiny child. Mike felt that way, sitting before her with his posture bowed.
“You knew I was coming back,” he tried.
“Coming back for the game and coming back for me are not the same thing. You left because of the game and I got left behind.”
____
One Week before the Party
“Hey Mike.”
Mike was so surprised Danny actually picked up the phone that he almost waited for the beep. “Hey Danny. Long time, buddy.”
“Yeah, well… now you’re back. Ready for training camp?”
They chatted for a while, consciously avoiding any talk about the summer. Mike talked about his training regimen, Danny about the new case he was working on. They agreed to get a beer that evening – Mike could wait that long. When they got to the bar, Danny didn’t beat around the bush.
“So, you saw Cait.”
“And she hates me,” Mike said. “Rightfully so.”
Danny just nodded and sipped his drink. “She’s a very strong person, and that was not a good time for her. Don’t see her get knocked down too often.”
Mike wanted to explain or make excuses, but he had nothing to say for himself. Instead he asked about Cait’s trip. Danny gave up the details that Cait had refused – she was backpacking solo through Central America for six weeks. She’d left her job and would look for a new one when she came home. If she came home. The ticket was changeable.
“Don’t you worry about her being alone?” Mike asked.
“Before you came along, I never worried about Cait at all,” Danny answered.
____
Four Days before the Party
“I knew you’d be here. Too nice to miss,” Mike tossed his bag down and sat next to Caitlin’s towel. She was in her favorite spot again. He took that as a sign that maybe she’d wanted him to find her. It was 75 degrees and sunny with little humidity – as perfect a day as DC could offer.
“I might need a new spot,” she said, but she sat up. Mike took two plums from his bag and offered her one. As she ate it, he also dug out a plastic bag.
“I got you something for your trip.” It was a small paperback book called Emergency Spanish with words and phrases for every worst-case scenario. Cait paged through it, trying out some of the crazier options.
“I hope I don’t have to say, ‘Help me driver, there’s a snake around my leg.’” And she laughed. He was so relieved to hear it he almost kissed her right then. Instead he asked for another phrase. When they got to the back of the book, Cait discovered the section called ‘Emergency Flirting.’
“’We’re having an earthquake, take off your pants’?” Cait howled. “These pickup lines are amazing.”
It hadn’t really occurred to Mike that Cait might meet someone on her trip. A hot foreign guy for a sexy fling like women were always doing in romantic comedies. He’d been busy worrying about keeping her from leaving or bringing her back as quickly as possible. Now the weight on his chest grew heavier.
“Does it tell you how to say, ‘My boyfriend’s a hockey player, he’ll kick your ass’?”
Cait gave him a look that said back up, buddy. But inside she smiled – she’d deliberately read this section to rile him up. And who knew? Maybe she’d go all Eat, Pray, Love and come home with a gorgeous Latino boyfriend in tow. As she looked at Mike she knew it was unlikely, but she forced herself to keep the option open.
“It does have, ‘Go away or I’ll pickle your balls in this tequila’.’ That should work.”
He stayed another half hour before he started to run out of things to say that didn’t start with “Please” or “I’m sorry.” When he left, she thanked him.
____
One Day before the Party
Mike came out of the shower at the gym and Eric Fehr was waiting for him. Most of the guys were back in town a few days before camp started, working out and getting ready. They’d just done a weight session with one of the trainers and Mike could already feel soreness building in his shoulders.
“Are you coming tomorrow night?” Eric asked.
“To what?”
Eric rolled his eyes. “Fucking Cait. She’s having a going away party, and she told me you knew.”
Why would Cait lie? he wondered. Unless she thought Eric wouldn’t mention it if he thought I knew, then I’d never find out.
“Maybe she’ll call you today.”
Mike didn’t want to wait. He had refrained from calling her after the park, but knew he was going to have to say goodbye in the next few days. He had to see her before she left. Feeling rash and frantic, he pulled out his phone right there.
“Did Eric tell you?” she answered without saying hello.
“Can I come?”
“Yeah, you’re invited Mike. See you tomorrow.” And she hung up.
____
Day of the Party
Mike made Eric go with him and they arrived at exactly 8 PM, carrying a case of beer and a dozen cupcakes from Cait’s favorite bakery. He also brought a present and a plan. He knew most of her friends and they were civil, if a little cool. Danny helped by being overly nice. By the time a few of the other Caps players arrived, Mike felt as comfortable as he could expect.
“Thanks for the cupcakes, Mikey,” she said, licking the chocolate frosting from the top of the one in her hand. It was the first time she’d used that nickname since May.
Cait had hung an enlarged map of Costa Rica and Nicaragua on the living room wall. Along the side were pictures of things found in each country – jewelry, handicrafts, even a toucan and a tree frog. Everyone wrote their name on a photo and stuck it on the map as a request for that particular souvenir. Mike put his name on a picture of coffee and posted it over the Costa Rican rainforest. If she brought it back, maybe they could drink it together with breakfast one morning.
He watched her mingle through the party. She wore denim shorts and a green tank top with bare feet. Multicolored beaded bracelets tangled around her wrist – those were new this summer. The smooth skin of her legs was tanned from all those days in the park. Seeing her here, where they’d been together so many times, and watching her talk, laugh and touch reminded Mike how much he missed her, needed her and just how careless he’d truly been with her. The way her hair swept over one shoulder revealed the exact spot where he loved to kiss her upon waking up in the same bed. The polish on her toenails was the same color she’d been wearing the night of their first sleepover. Everything from the way she moved her hands when telling a story to the way she pressed the cold beer bottle to her neck made mike ache to touch her, kiss her, show and tell her how sorry he was. More than anything he wanted to make her a promise.
____
For the second time that night he followed her to her room. She’d already said her piece about not getting involved with the game. Now he wanted his say, to try to change her mind.
“Cait,” he took the same position in the doorway, while she rooted through her closet. She came up holding a yoga mat. Her bangs hung over side of her face and Mike desperately wanted to push them from her face. The serious look on his face made Cait stay quiet as she stood.
“I will be here, waiting, when you get back,” was all he said.
“And what makes you think I’ll be waiting? What makes you think I’m still waiting now?” she challenged.
He pulled a small velvet bag from his pocket and shook something into his hand. Then he held it out, and opened his palm to reveal a silver Irish claddaugh ring.
“Cait, please come back to me.”
The Claddaugh ring shows two hands holding a heart, topped by a crown. The way a person wears it denotes their romantic availability – heart pointing out means they’re available and hoping to find love, heart pointing in means their love has already been captured.
“Where was this three months ago? When you wouldn’t answer my calls or tell me why you weren’t coming home?”
Mike’s heart is bursting. The look on Caitlin’s face shows all the hope she had for them, and all the betrayal she felt when he took it away. The pain there is worse than what he felt, not really knowing what he was doing. Caitlin knew all along what he was doing to her.
“I know I made a mistake Caitlin. I can’t take it back. But this is the time, this is the place. Be better than I was. Don’t leave me out.”
Cait took the ring from Mike’s hand. “I will wear this, but I’m wearing it with the heart open. I don’t know what’s going to happen, Mike. Probably nothing. But you broke your promise to me. And I will not make one to you.”
She slid the ring onto her right hand and looked at it for a long moment. Mike gave into his urge and pushed the hair back from her cheek. He stood close, knowing his physical presence had an effect on her, and hoped it would block out the whole world from that room if only for a moment.
“It’s beautiful,” she said. “But you’ll have to wait and see, Mike. We’ll both have to wait and see.”
____
Night before Caitlin Leaves
She pulls open the door, already knowing it’s Mike, arriving unannounced and uninvited.
“What do you want to do with your last night in the US?”
He wore shorts and a t-shirt, and his big, strong body produced the same feeling in Caitlin that it always had. Lust and protection, such a strange combination. She willed herself to be strong, knowing that once she got on that plane she’d have plenty to think about for six weeks. It wasn’t even that long a trip. She did not need anything to cloud her mind and make her forget what had happened.
“I have no food, let’s go eat.”
It was easy to slip back into their old ways. Cait could feel that Mike wanted to hold her hand as they walked. He chose their old favorite restaurant. The owner knew Mike and remembered Caitlin – he assumed they’d been away together for the summer and brought them a complimentary bottle of champagne. Mike steered all conversation away from the summer and asked lots of questions about her trip. She knew he wasn’t really that interested, but she felt pacified that he was trying.
Mike listened to her talk and came to see how much this trip meant to her. She told him things she’d never shared before – where she’d traveled before, how she liked traveling alone. In truth, they’d only known each other two months before he left. There were so many things he didn’t know about Caitlin and he hoped to get another chance at them when she came home.
Home, he thought. I guess DC is my home now. Normally he thought of Calgary as home, but ever since he had something to come back to in DC, he had started to feel like he belonged here. And now that something was leaving.
“Can I come see you off tomorrow?” he asked as they walked back to Caitlin’s apartment.
“Danny’s driving me to the airport, we’re leaving here at Noon,” she went to go inside, then stopped. “Thanks for dinner, Mike. I had a good time.”
____
Day Caitlin Leaves
Mike arrived at 11 AM. He watched Caitlin cram the last few things into her bag and helped adjust it to evenly bear the weight. Then he zipped it inside its own rain over that doubled as a traveling sack. She wasn’t subleasing her apartment, so she left everything as is.
“I never asked, where’d you get the money to do this?” Mike said, looking at the space that would stay empty for six weeks.
“It’s all the money I’ve saved,” she said. “So it had better be worth it!”
Danny arrived at 11:30 AM and did not look surprised when Mike opened the door. They did a final check of everything, carried out the last of the trash and locked all the windows.
Cait handed Danny a clear plastic folder. “Here’s a copy of everything – my tickets, passport, insurance. Just in case something happens.” With a last look around, she followed them out of the apartment.
Danny parked in short term and they walked Caitlin inside. Once she had her boarding pass in hand, Danny gave her a huge hug and kiss, made her promise to call when she landed and then told Mike he’d be waiting in the car.
Mike walked Caitlin to security. He was suddenly awkward – he didn’t know the right kind of goodbye to give her, having failed to say goodbye at all the last time around. She’d checked her big backpack, so just a daypack hung from one shoulder. She swung it down and, to everyone’s surprise, opened her arms.
Mike fell into her hug like a magnet. It was the first real time he’d touched her since May, since saying he’d be back and knowing he probably wouldn’t, since missing her and cursing himself and praying for a miracle. His arms fit around her body the way they always had, the way they were meant to. She pressed against him, nervous about her trip and about the feelings that flooded back into her system. They stood embracing for a good five minutes.
“Come back to me,” he whispered into her hair.
“No promises, Mike.”
“I just want you to know,” he said.
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. It was killing her not to say yes, not to give in, not to jump right off the ledge where she was standing. But she needed space and time alone to decide if she could forgive him, if she could trust someone who’d hurt her not to do it again. And that space was just beyond the rope behind her.
“I will miss you,” he said.
“I missed you too,” she answered both what he’d said and what he really meant.
“See you in six weeks,” he kissed her cheek.
“If you’re lucky,” she said, smiling back at him. Then, because it was too perfect to pass up, she pressed a quick kiss to his soft, familiar lips. Tiny fireworks exploded inside her stomach and she broke away before they could spread.
“No promises,” she repeated, and wove her way into the security line.
____
Six Weeks Later
Caitlin looked at herself in the airplane bathroom mirror. Six weeks in the sun and she was tan as a wallet, looking skinnier due to hiking and swimming and eating fresh, local food. She felt good, healthy and strong. She felt clear and she finally felt sure.
After landing, Caitlin collected her very dirty daypack and pulled on the sweatshirt she couldn’t wait to throw away. It had been a pillow and a blanket and a seat cushion and had once held a fish she caught straight from the sea. It wasn’t an ideal outfit for homecoming.
She rushed through the terminal to the security exit. Danny would be there. She wondered if Mike would be too. If he’d given up, or decided to let her make whatever move came next. If six weeks had proven too long for him to wait. She passed the last checkpoint, voices from the pickup area echoing toward her in the large hallway. People shouting hello, drivers shouting passenger names. She walked toward the sound.
She turned the corner and screamed. Everyone she knew was there – at least ten friends plus five of the Caps players, everyone holding balloons and flowers. Front and center were Danny and Mike. As she looked to the middle, so did everyone else. Mike held a sign that just said ‘Caitlin’, like he was her chauffeur. When she got closer, he turned the sign around:
Am I lucky?
She’d seen that look on his face before, when he took a shot from the point and hoped it found the net, when he tried to will the puck into the goal with the sheer force of his mind. It was an expression of hope and luck and surrender to fate.
Caitlin ran the last twelve steps to the barricade, threw her arms around Mike and kissed him.
Everyone went nuts – screaming and jumping around. If Cait could have thought, she’d know that Mike spent the six weeks she was away courting every single friend who’d helped her during the time he disappeared. He wined and dined and pleaded and begged until every single one of them forgave him for ditching her and agreed to help him win her back. He was so sincere that her friends could not resist. And they had seen Cait happy with Mike – they wanted that back for her. But she was busy delivering a kiss that had been six weeks in the making.
Caitlin had decided on the third day that she would go back to Mike. She’d gotten so far away and realized how easy it would be to forget home, just for a little while – and she hadn’t even lost anything. In reality she was just running, running from the hole Mike had left in her life. When he’d wanted to come back, she was busy filling his place with this dream, this ambition. Now that she had achieved it, she knew something would have to take its place. And nothing filled a Mike-shaped hole like the man himself. So before she could really forget anything – good, bad or ugly – or do anything she’s regret – there were a lot of surfers around – Cait made her decision. Then she turned his Claddaugh ring around to show the world she was spoken for and proceeded to have the time of her life.
When their kiss ended, Mike picked Caitlin up and lifted her over the barricade. The whole troop waited while her bag tumbled from the carousel, and then proceeded right to their favorite bar. Weary, grungy and bedraggled from non-stop travel, Caitlin was happier than she’d ever been. Mike put a chair under her, a beer in her hand and then kissed her again.
“Thank you for coming back to me,” he whispered closely.
“Thank you for waiting,” she said.