Fake Girlfriend

Cole didn’t show up to school on Monday, but then again, when I had stopped over in hopes to talk to him, he had looked pretty sick. Nonetheless, I really needed to talk to him. And preferably face-to-face.

Cole yelling at me wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t the main issue. Sure, it had felt as if someone had punched a hole in my heart and created a hollow feeling there, but it was certainly not the worst thing he had ever done. And although it wasn’t the worst thing, but it was definitely the last straw.

I hated how I had started to feel for him and how it felt as if he was constantly betraying my trust. I wanted to be free from that. I couldn’t deal with this crazy ride of a ‘relationship’. Every time I thought about him, I felt like crying. I wasn’t sure why; I just knew that it wasn’t good thing. Boyfriends –be it real or fake—weren’t supposed to make their girlfriends cry.

At the same time, however, I was trying to bury all my troubles in me, because today was Delilah’s first day back. And although her outfit hid any signs of pregnancy, she was still worried. We had told Sam, Lola, Duncan, and Kyle, and between all of us, we watched over Delilah the entire day, which I think she appreciated.

At lunch, De had a huge lunch, which I figured would be normal now that she was eating for two. The lunch she brought consisted mostly of cheese—her new craving—but John had insisted that she eat other things as well, which she did hesitantly.

“Eat the apple!” John said, holding the apple from his lunch out to her.

“I don’t like apples,” she said like a whiny three-year-old.

His brow furrowed. “You loved apples.”

“Not anymore.” She stuck her tongue out.

I laughed briefly at my friends, then my mind wandered back to Cole. Cole the ass. Cole the jerk. Cole the guy I keep thinking I might have feelings for. No, no. That’s not right. He’s just an ass. A jerk. That’s all.

Lex must have noticed something was wrong, because when I got up to get a drink from the vending machine, he followed and asked, “Hey, you okay, Be?”

I smiled at the nickname he must have picked up from Delilah, and I used the smile as an excuse to look like nothing was bothering me. “Yea, I’m good,” I answered.

“Well, you were frowning off into space back at the table,” Lex said, cocking his eyebrow.

I sighed. I felt the more I said that I was fine, the less Lex would believe me. The guy was like a mind reader. “Can you keep a secret?” I asked.

Lex chuckled. “I’ve been keeping many lately.”

“Well, it’s about Cole.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I figured.”

I closed my eyes for a second. “I think I’m going to break up with him, Lex.”

He stared at me, a little wide-eyed. “What?”

“It’s… not working. We aren’t what real couples should be.” We weren’t even a real couple in the first place, I added in my head. “I don’t want to be with him if I’m going to feel like this all the time.”

Lex frowned sadly. “You may not realize it, but he really likes you. Like a lot.”

There was a thud in my chest that I had confused with the thudding of the drink that had dropped from the vending machine. I picked up my drink and began walking back to the table. “Can we not talk about this? I’ve made up my mind.”

Lex didn’t move. He grabbed my wrist to hold me back. I turned back to see him frowning with a serious look in his eyes. Lex never looked so serious. “Thisbe, I don’t think you understand how much he needs you.”

My brows furrowed. I tugged my hand, and Lex let go. “No. I don’t think you understand. I know you don’t,” I said, somewhat more cruelly than I intended. After I said it, I regretted it, especially seeing that look on Lex’s face. I sighed. “I just refuse to let it go on like this, Lex. I can’t stand it.”

He was frowning. “Just try talking to him first, alright?”

“Lex—“

“Give it a shot. Because he deserves one.” Then he walked away ahead of me to the table.

I sighed, shoulders slumping slightly and followed him back.

***

Cole didn’t come the next day either. Go figure. However, half way through 9th period Study Hall with Delilah, my phone vibrated. I slipped it out of my pocket, hoping the librarian hadn’t heard the vibration. I read the text under the table. It was from Cole:

We can meet up after school today if you want.

Where? I texted back.

I’ll meet you at school.

I closed my phone and put it back in my pocket. Delilah, who noticed, looked at me. “Cole?” she guessed.

I nodded.

“So?”

I had told De the same thing I told Lex. Because she could see just how much Cole had been screwing me up lately, she supported my decision. We had been spending study hall having a conversation about the issue via notes passed across the table. Even while being on my side, she told me that I should at least talk to him first—just like Lex said.

“He says he’ll meet me after school,” I answered.

“What are you going to say to him?” she asked, worried.

I huffed. “Not sure.”

She frowned. “You sure you want to do this?”

I bit my lip. “Yes,” I said, but I hesitated too long.

“Thisbe—“

I raised a hand. She was not going to turn into Lex on me. “It’s okay. I know what I’m doing,” I said. But did I really? Shut up, I told myself. I knew what I was doing. I knew that things could not continue the way they were, and it was better if I just ended it now. It was simple. Simple. I ignored the lump in my throat as I continued. “It’ll be alright. Really.”

Her face lightened, like she was beginning to be convinced—but just barely.

I smiled at her, trying to assure her. The bell rung. “Come on,” I said, sounding calm, but my heart was beating a thousand times a second. Here we go…