Fake Girlfriend

Thisbe retreated into her apartment, but her uncle was still behind me, and I could feel the glare on my back probably because of the kiss Thisbe quickly gave me that send a shiver of pleasure down my spine. I turned to face him. His arms were crossed, and his foot was tapping, but I couldn’t totally take him seriously while he was wearing Spongebob Squarepants pajama pants. I almost had to laugh.

“Uh, hello, Mr…” I trailed off, unsure whether he was related to Thisbe’s dad or mom.

“Marquez,” he finished. He came up to me and patted my shoulder. I could sense the hostility behind his smile. “But please, that’s my dad. Call me Mike.”

“Alright, Mike,” I said, nervously.

He patted my shoulder again, this time harder. “On second thought, call me Mr. Marquez,” he said.

I shifted uneasily. “Well, Mr. Marquez, then. I apologize, but I left my sister in the car. I should get going…”

Mike—er, Mr. Marquez waved his hand. “Oh, I’ll just be a second. Tell me—Cole, was it?—what were you doing with my niece at one in the morning?” he said, brow furrowed.

“Talking,” I answered, immediately. “She came over to talk to me.” This wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth, either. However, I wasn’t about to tell Mr. Marquez anything about what else had happened. The arguing with Lex and her. Lloyd and his drunk fury. The kiss on the roof. All that was better left unsaid.

“Talking?” Mr. Marquez asked, unconvinced.

I put my hands up in defense. “You can ask her. Nothing happened. Mr. Marquez, I swear, I wouldn’t do anything to Thisbe.”

“Well, you sure do tend to upset her a lot,” Mr. Marquez said, giving me a serious and solemn look.

“I’ve never meant to!” I defended.

“Cole, let me tell you something. Thisbe doesn’t know it, but I check on her all the time and find her crying. And when she sleeps, she’s got a habit of sleep-talking. And want to know who she talks about more than anything else nowadays? You. And it’s not always good. I’ve heard things she probably doesn’t want me to know, especially one thing that really bothers me.” I grew a little stiff. I could guess at what that was. He was talking about Thisbe and my ‘relationship’. He gave a little glare. “All I’m going to say is that you better figure out your feelings for my niece soon, because you’ve already done enough damage.”

Cue the guilt.

And with that Mr. Marquez walked back into his apartment without another word, and I went back to the car, thinking about what he had said. I know I had upset Thisbe a lot, but never had I meant to. I never meant to yell or be a jerk. I just am. And it kills me to think that I’m even that way to Thisbe.

I unlocked the car, where I saw that Joy had crawled into the front seat, smiling. I smiled back. How did Joy do that? How did she always make me smile? How did she smile when our lives were a mess? I found myself hoping that her life would be different than mine. That she wouldn’t ever argue with the one she loved. That she didn’t have to feel the kind of guilt I was feeling. That she’d grow up normal and find someone who loved her more than anything. Sure, she was only six, but she wouldn’t always be that little. And I wanted the best for her.

On the way home, she ended up falling asleep. After all, it was almost 2 in the morning now. And so, I drove home in silence thinking about her for a while, and then my mind went back to Thisbe. Thisbe was too wonderful to have to put up with me. Why she would even wanted to was beyond me.

When we got home, I couldn’t bring myself to wake up Joy, so instead, I carried her inside. I walked past the living room and scowled at Lloyd. He was unconscious on the couch. Good news was that he’d have such a hangover tomorrow, he wouldn’t bother us. And the day after, he would have to be sober enough to go to work. And after that, Ross was coming to stay with us for Christmas, so Lloyd would have to remain sober. After all, his brother thought Lloyd, after his long stay at a rehab, had gotten over his alcoholic ways a long time ago. Lloyd wouldn’t risk getting drunk. He had already told me that he was not going back to rehab.

Not just Ross, but no one knew what Lloyd did. I sure as hell wouldn’t tell anyone. Foster care was shit, and I wasn’t going back. I wouldn’t risk being separated from Joy, anyways. In a month, I would be 18 and would not be in foster care anymore, but Joy would have to stay. I refused to let Joy go through what I went through. And this was the sole reason I wouldn’t tell anyone what happened in this house. Not Ross. Not Mrs. Lovette. Not my friends. When someone asked where I got my injuries I would answer “a fight,” and that would be the end of that.

But, I guess Thisbe, Lex, and (unfortunately) Caroline knew the truth now…

I went up the stairs quietly with Joy in my arms, and as I reached the last step, she woke up. Immediately, she asked in a sleepy haze, “Cole, can I sleep with you?”

I chuckled. “Sure,” I said.

***

I woke the next morning much earlier than I intended to. Joy bounced on top of me, stepping over my ribcage, making me flinch with an “oof”. She got off, but still danced around on my bed, chirping, “Cole! It’s snowing! It’s snowing!” then, she began to sing a little tune she invented as she sang it. “Snow, snow, snow! Snow! SNOW!”

I sat up, rubbing my eyes and raking a hand through my hair. “Wha?” I said, only half awake.

She stood over me and then sat down on my chest, making me fall back on my pillow again. She patted my face. “Would you wake up?” she said. “I said ‘It’s snowing’! There’s snow on the ground. Let’s go outside!”

In the end, the only way to make her be quiet was to agree—but only if I got another half hour of sleep first. She was okay with this, and when I lied back down and got comfortable, she crawled up next to me under my arm. I fell right back asleep, but I doubt Joy did the same. She probably waited for the half hour to pass, and the minute it did, she shook me awake.

“Let’s go!” she said.

I groaned, but I got up, as promised. I told Joy to go get something warm on, and I did the same. Then, the two of us walked down the stairs, where I was surprised to see Lloyd already up and about. I hadn’t expected him to be up until the late afternoon, but I wasn’t worried. This wasn’t the same Lloyd as last night. This was the I-hate-hangovers Lloyd. He was easier to bare.

He was looking through the contents of our fridge. “Where’s the orange juice?” he mumbled when he saw me.

“We have none. You want some, you’ll have to go get some,” I said, trying to keep the hatred out of my voice as I usually did.

Lloyd growled and shut the fridge. “Do we got an Advil, at least?” he asked.

“In the medicine drawer by the sink, as always,” I answered.

And that was about as long as any conversation I had with Lloyd.

Joy and I walked to the coat room. I helped Joy into her snow overalls and coat, and she put on her boots while I put on my coat. Then, there was a hunt for gloves, scarfs, and hats, which we eventually found and put on. By the end, Joy looked like a little bundle of cloth. How she moved, I didn’t know, but it was better than her getting a cold.

“Let’s go!” she said, her voice muffled behind the scarf that covered half her face.

I laughed. Whereas most kids would have complained about all the snow-wear, Joy didn’t seem to care, just so long as we went outside. I scooped her up, and she started giggling. I lifted her on my shoulders and ducked through the threshold of the door leading outside.

When my foot hit the snow, it sunk to half way up to my knee, and I was surprised how much it had snowed last night. It seemed ridiculous to think that yesterday the ground was green. I trudged around the front yard until Joy began bouncing up and down on my shoulders, chanting, “Let me down! Let me down!” while she giggled uncontrollably.

I dropped on my back with her still on my shoulders, my hands holding onto her legs so she would fall, and we both fell in the snow. That made Joy laugh more. I was laughing, too. This was how life for us should have been for us all the time. Joy shouldn’t have to fear her own father. She shouldn’t have any reason to frown. We should have been able to laugh so carefree all the time.

“Brother!” Joy called, already on her feet, trudging through snow that went all the way up her leg. “Come help me make a snowman!”

I got up with a smile. “Okay!”