Be My Escape

After brunch, Max left early to go meet the girl he had met at the phone store. We all let him, not minding a bit. Dan and I only stayed for a little longer after Max, and then said our goodbyes to Hanna and my dad before heading out.

When we got outside, I grabbed Dan’s arm to stop him on the sidewalk. When he was stopped in front of me, I let go and crossed my arms in front of my chest and put on my best “I mean business, so you better tell me the whole truth and nothing but the damn truth” look before speaking.

“Tell me what you know right now, Daniel Flint.”

He chuckled, but nodded. We started to walk again, only because we were still outside my dad’s house and we didn’t want them to wonder what we were doing. So we started to walk, and Dan started to talk.

“It’s actually a lot simpler than you’d think, I’m sure,” he told me. I didn’t interject, and he sighed before continuing. “Look, Peyt, I know Josh seems like this massive tool who hates you, and he has his moments when he is that massive tool. But he doesn’t hate you, not really anyways.”

“You’re being cryptic,” I muttered as I kicked a pebble on the sidewalk. “You’re being cryptic, and I really don’t like it.”

He sighed again. I was going to kick him if he was going to be doing a lot of that. “He doesn’t hate you, Peyton. He hates his ex-girlfriend. I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said you remind him of her.”

“It’s not my fault though!” I exclaimed, suddenly overwhelmed and unable to control myself. “I can’t help that! He shouldn’t hold that against me, you know?” I could feel the tears burning at the back of my eyes, and I wasn’t entirely sure why. Josh bugged me and irritated me and got on my nerves, so why did I care if he hated me or hated that I was like his ex-girlfriend? I didn’t, or at least I shouldn’t.

“I know, love. It’s not your fault, I know. And he knows it too.” Dan shook his head and shoved his hands into his jean pockets with a shrug. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him any less, though. He really loved that lass, and she really crushed him.” I started to protest again, but he stopped me. “I know that’s not your fault either. Just hear me out, okay?” I huffed, but nodded, to which Dan just gave me a small smile before continuing. “I’m not saying this is your fault, Peyt. I’m just trying to get you to understand Josh’s side of the story a little bit.”

The sigh I released was defeated, and I think Dan picked up on this. “It doesn’t make what happened at brunch any easier to understand though, Dan. Why did Josh get so mad?”

“Josh and Max don’t agree on a lot of things,” he said with a simple shrug.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

He laughed and slung his arm over my shoulder. “I know love. I’d tell you what they were fightin’ about, but it’s not my place really. You’ll find out soon enough, I’m sure.”

I rolled my eyes and visibly started to pout, which just made Dan chuckle. “Don’t pout, Peyt. Your face will freeze like that.”

I just rolled my eyes again, and then we were quiet until we reached the flat.

Just as Dan and I were saying goodbye outside of our respective flats, we heard the yelling. It didn’t faze me at first, and I guess that wasn’t really normal because it wasn’t like we were staying in a bad neighborhood and there were fights all the time. So the yelling was out of place.

It wasn’t until Dan was shaking his head, muttering “oh Jesus,” that I realized where the yelling was coming from.

“Shit!” I exclaimed suddenly, pushing Dan aside and shoving open the door to their flat. Almost instantly, I found Josh and Max going at it like a couple of kids. “You fucking idiots!” I yelled, running over to the pair while I simultaneously yelled at Dan to grab one of them.

Of course, Max was closest to him, so of course I had to grab Josh. I stepped in between the two of them and shoved Josh, hard, by the shoulders so I could pin him against the wall. In reality, all I had to do was shove him because that tore him from his rage induced trance long enough that he stopped. As I held him in place on the wall with my hands, I turned my head to look over my shoulder at Dan and Max.

Seeing my brother so angry, so violent, scared me a little. Max seemed like the kind of guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly; but I guess people surprise you sometimes.

“You’re fuckin’ mental!” Josh yelled in my ear but in Max’s direction. “Fuckin’ mental!”

“I’m mental? You’re the one mopin’ around about that lass still. Get over her, Josh! Grow a pair of balls and get over her!”

I mentally face-palmed myself while I tightened my grip on Josh. I knew if I didn’t, he would tear by me in an instant and deliver another swift punch to Max’s jaw. “Come on,” I said quietly but firmly. Grabbing his arms, I whisked him outside of the flat, shutting the door firmly behind me while I stood in front of it, leaning against it just to be safe.

Josh paced back and forth in front of me. “The fuckin’ nerve,” he muttered, mainly to himself. “He acts like I shouldn’t even care about her, even if she did break my heart? It’s his fuckin’ fault I ever got involved with her in the first place. It’s his fault!” he exclaimed.

I just nodded as if I understood, but I didn’t. I had no idea what Josh was going on about, but I knew I needed to pretend or else this wouldn’t end well. When he didn’t stop pacing, I tried to calm him down. “Josh, you need to chill out before you have a stroke or something. Your blood pressure’s probably through the roof,” I told him calmly.

This stopped him, surprisingly. He stopped in front of me and just glared, his eyes still dark with anger. The look in his eyes was so intense it made me squirm.

We were both quiet for a few minutes, but suddenly, he broke this. He stepped closer to me, his eyes still dark with rage. “You know what we were fightin’ about Peyton?” he asked me, his voice low but his tone biting.

I gulped and shook my head, unable to look away from him, unable to even speak.

“You. We were fightin’ about you.” He was even closer now. I could smell the orange juice on his breath from breakfast combined with his cologne and soap from his morning shower. It was intoxicating and terrifying and a million other things that had my head spinning.

“Why?” I got out finally. It was squeaky and I just barely choked it out, but it was enough I guess.

He shook his head and looked down between us, down at his Converse clad feet. “I wish you’d break up with that Jake,” he told me finally. He stepped back, breaking the trance he had over me. And with it went my calm exterior.

“Don’t fucking do that!” I yelled, shoving him backwards. “You can’t just keep telling me that you don’t like Jake or you want me to break up with him. He may not get everything, but he’s sweet and he treats me well and for the first time in over a year I haven’t had a bad dream now that he’s around. Do you even know what that feels like for me?” I exclaimed, shoving him back again until his back was against the door to my own flat. For some reason, I felt that then was a good time to confess things like my bad dreams to Josh.

He looked surprised, and the rage in his eyes had simmered. He was still angry though, which is why he did what he did next.

“He doesn’t fuckin’ understand you, Peyton, but no one really does because you won’t let them! Quit foolin’ yourself,” he hissed. “You aren’t foolin’ anyone else. It’s all goin’ to come crashin’ down, and to be frank I don’t know who’s goin’ to be there for you when it does because you don’t let anyone in!” His voice had been low when he started, but had slowly escalated throughout his speech.

It didn’t make sense, though; what he was saying to me wasn’t adding up. “You aren’t mad at me,” I finally said, crossing my arms in front of my chest defensively. “Max is right. You need to grow up and get over that girl that broke your heart. If not for your own good, then for mine, because I can’t take your moodiness for much longer.”

His mouth dropped open in shock in response to what I had said. “If you can’t take my moodiness,” he spat, mocking me, “then why don’t you just stay away from me Peyton?” I just rolled my eyes, which must have been enough of an answer for him. He huffed by me, stomping down the hall of the flat.

“Big baby,” I muttered under my breath as I turned on my heel and headed back to find Max and Dan.

When I walked into the flat, Max was sitting on the couch with a bag of ice on his left eye while Dan sat on the other couch. I sighed at the site of the blood on Max’s shirt, and wordlessly walked over to him, taking a seat besides him. “Thought you were going to meet that girl,” I mumbled, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the couch.

“Forgot my wallet here, and then Josh showed up and started yellin’ at me and we just started goin’ at it.”

I could just tell by his tone of voice that his anger was diminishing, but he was still a little touchy. I guess rightfully so, considering he was going to have a nasty shiner tomorrow. “Yelling about what? You guys are best friends; you don’t just start punching your best friend for no reason.”

Max sighed and took the bag of ice away from his eye so he could look at me. “You,” he said simply.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I yelled, getting off the couch to stand in front of Dan and my brother with my hands on my hips. Now I was the angry one, which was weird because I didn’t usually get angry. I guess I was still feisty from my talk with Josh, which was understandable.

“Calm down, Peyt. Don’t need you punchin’ me too. There was more to it than just you. It was a bunch of things that had built up and are now coming out full force. But now that Josh has punched me, everything will be fine.”

I turned to Dan for reassurance. He just shrugged. “Honestly Peyton? I’m just as lost as you are. This is like the fuckin’ Twilight Zone. Josh doesn’t get in fights, especially not with us."

I looked between the two of them and glared. “Fix it then, because if you don’t I’m going to end up punching him too, the fucking tool,” I growled. “I’m completely fed up with Josh’s moody prick act, and if he doesn’t change his attitude quick he’s going to cause a lot of problems.”

I wasn’t threatening them, and I made sure to tell them that. Once I made sure Max was fine and decided to head back to my flat though, I knew what I said was the truth. I was sick of this act Josh was pulling, and I knew if he didn’t clean up his act soon I was going to tear him a new one, which wouldn’t be good for any of us.