Remember Last Knight

the drink of wisdom


Andy’s pissed.

He’s not the kind of guy to hold that kind of stuff in. He’ll let you know, and I’d figured, he had.

Maybe it’s from the text messages he sent me yesterday, asking me to hang, and I’d had to say no, man, not tonight. Maybe it was from the reply I got to this, in the form of three text messages and a phone call, which I got while I was sleeping, which went to voicemail – consisting of the phrases “fuck you man,” “bros before hoes,” and “whatever happened to this friendship, I don’t know, but don’t expect me to give a fuck anymore.”

So, considering all of these, he was most likely fuming.

Which was why, right now, I’m dialing Elle’s number, pressing the phone to my ear, and hoping for the best.


“Hey,” I said, answering my phone. I pressed my shoulder closer to my ear, holding the phone there, while I bookmarked my page in my book and set it aside. “How’s it goin’?”

“Hey babe,” Knight said, and he didn’t sound as happy to hear me as I did to hear him – actually, he didn’t sound happy at all.

“What’s wrong?”

I listened to him sigh, take a breath, and begin. “Andy’s not happy with me. He wants to hang out, but whenever he asks we’re hanging out – he’s having separation anxiety.” I knew this was supposed to be funny, to make both of us laugh, but he wasn’t laughing – and neither was I.

I felt bad about Andy and Knight not spending time together, I really did – Andy was Knight’s best friend before Knight was mine, and I don’t exactly have full rights to keep them from each other. Just because I hadn’t had a close friend in the last few years doesn’t mean I don’t remember how much it sucked, most of the time, when you’re separated; which was why it didn’t seem like a big deal, to me at least, when I told Knight I didn’t care if he went out with his friend.

“Really?” I was confused by this, but I waited for him to continue. “I mean, you don’t care?”

That’s when I remembered, or maybe realized – Knight’s never had the problem of balancing friends, family and boyfriend/girlfriend. He’s never been in a real, steady relationship – this was new to him, a surprise.

“Well, yeah, I don’t care,” I told him, switching the phone to my other ear. “Go hang out tonight. I mean, it’s not like we don’t spend enough time together. I can share with Andy. Tell him I said I’m sorry for keeping you away, and that we’ll have to talk about our Knight schedule.” I pulled my legs up, under me, and waited for a response. All I heard was Knight’s slow, slow breath in the receiver. “That last part was a joke.”

He laughed, and we went on talking for a few more minutes, before he told me he should probably call Andy, and set something up.

“Okay,” I said, “Have fun.”

“I’ll text you, maybe… I’ll call you when I get home, y’know.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, grateful. Who knows what can happen with Knight, Andy, and who else hanging out?

“Bye, Elle.”

“Bye, Knight.”


A few hours later, after finishing a few more chapters in my book, I made my way downstairs to find out who was home – and what we were doing for dinner. Low and behold, Ayden was out – he’d left a note on his door that I apparently hadn’t seen on my way downstairs, according to my Dad, who was watching TV – and my mother was somewhere, who knows where.

Dad and I decided to just fend for ourselves, and I chose to just make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to finish while I read. I was passing Ayden’s room, and I made it a point to remember to stop and read his note, which read:

I’m out. I’ll be home late, don’t know what time yet. If you need me, ask Knight – I’m at Andy’s. – Ayden.

Then, just then, I was scared of what could happen with my brother hanging out with Andy, and Knight hanging out with them both.


I was asleep when Knight called. I jerked awake when my phone started going off, ringing and vibrating, scrambling to pick it up.

“Hello,” I say, laying my head back down and setting the phone on my ear.

“Hey Elle,” Knight said, and I could hear a noise close by, like air whipping through a window. “I’m not home yet, I just left Andy’s, but you’re not going to believe who was there –”

“My brother,” I said, and Knight continued.

“Yes! Oh, and apparently him and Andy have been hanging out a lot lately. Like, a lot. Do you hear the emphasis in that statement? He’s even staying there tonight – which is probably good, because he is so far gone – and he wanted me to tell you that he wouldn’t be coming home, and I just looked at him, and I was like, “Ayden, no. Dude, you need to call your sister or your parents and tell them yourself – I’m not doing that. No.” He was mad, but I was like okay, whatever.”

“I’m glad you said that, actually. I’d like to actually hear from him and make sure he’s okay, you know…”

Knight laughed. “They’re not going anywhere. Ayden is gone, and Andy’s working on it. I actually took Andy’s keys with me. I feel like his freaking parent or something, but he won’t notice – they don’t need to go anywhere. I’m not letting either of them turn into mush like Campos…. oh, shit! I didn’t mean that, Elle – I mean, I did, but I shouldn’t have said it like that… I’m sorry!”

I reassured him that it was fine, I was fine, and I was thankful he took the keys with him. It was odd to hear this, even. “Have you been drinking?” I asked.

“Only the drink of wisdom, by the words coming out of my mouth. I swear, I sound like an old man. Do you hear me, Elle? I sound like an old man! Oh, and your brother hates me. So does Andy, but they were too drunk to even care. They kept talking about me, like I wasn’t there, and I finally had to leave. Andy was being a whiny bitch about us spending time together, and so was Ayden… Hey Mom, hey mom. Hold on a sec, Elle.” I could hear Allison and Julie, a murmur as they spoke to Knight, and then suddenly, they were talking to me. Their voices were loud in my ear, like I was on speaker and they were talking too loudly to be heard, as they said hello and they missed me and come by soon, Elle, love you. Then, Knight was starting back up again.

“Oh, yeah, but anyway – so Ayden was bitching about how I took his sister from him and blah blah blah, and I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to get into it with your brother. I could take it from Andy, who y’know, we hung out all the time, but you said that you and Ayden didn’t hang out that much really, and he was pissing me off… and I’m sorry, but I kinda almost got in his face, but he brushed it off and just… I’m sorry. He should be calling anytime now, he’ll probably talk about that and sound sloppy and… I have a question.

“When you met me, was I sloppy? Like, I’d been drinking and I might have had a puff of something and… just, what was I like?”

I imagined Knight right now, sitting in his bed or in the swivel computer chair that sat in his room. He was probably in his pajamas, or something more comfortable, most likely shirtless, because I’d heard him, his voice closer as he probably shoved it between his shoulder and ear to change pants, heard his voice get distant as he took off his shirt. I imagined him sitting there, waiting, wondering, sober. He could see now, how much of an absolute mess he used to be.

“You were… rude, and insistent. You weren’t my Knight, like who you are right now. I mean, you were, but you weren’t polite, you were just cocky and you didn’t like no, or taking hits, both of which I was radiating, and you were just… you weren’t you.”

He was quiet. He didn’t say anything, not until a few minutes later, when he finally said, “Okay, well. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m tired.”

I burrow closer into my pillows, snuggle into my blanket. I tell him the truth. “I wish you were here,” I say. I close my eyes, and I hear him sigh, loudly, and laugh quietly.

“I do, too. I wish I was there with you, Elle. I hope everything stays… chill tonight.”

“Me, too. My mom hasn’t come home yet. I think I heard her on the phone with my Dad earlier… I think she’s staying at my aunt’s. I hope.”

We don’t talk much longer, because Knight says he’s tired, and I’m fighting the fast drifting of my consciousness. After we hang up, I rest my head again, but get up a few minutes later to see if Mom’s home, and if Ayden’s called.

I don’t find out if Mom’s home, after all, though I figure she’s not – I’m distracted by my Dad, his voice quiet, but threatening and terrifying – two things it never, ever is – wafting up the stairs from the living room. I can see his legs, outstretched on the Ottoman, and the TV is on, the light flashing over him, most likely muted. I listen.

“Ayden, no. I don’t even know who this Andy fellow is and – oh, don’t go there. Don’t even go there, Ayden Michael Rogers. I may not have been here all the time for the last few months, but that sure as hell hasn’t ever stopped you from introducing anyone or even consulting your mother or I before…And now, you expect me to give you permission to stay… oh, you’re not asking for permission? You call me up drunk, oh don’t tell me you’re not. I swear, if I knew where you were – don’t expect to be off easy when you get home, Ayden. Ayden? Ayden!”

I know he’s hung up, and so does my dad, but he’s still talking to air – just in case, but I turn to go back to my room, where I try to sleep and worry about Ayden and not pull my hair out, or take Dad’s car to Knight’s to find Andy’s and thus, Ayden.
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You all need to tell me your feelings about this.