Remember Last Knight
lost faith
&Elle
Both of my boys held good on their promises, for the first few days. Weeks went by and I was still getting the daily phone calls from Ayden, the texts from Knight. Each told me about their days, how they missed me, the going-ons of life back home, even about each other. It was weird at first, listening to them talk about the other, feeling as if maybe I was betraying each boy’s trust as Knight told me that Ayden was doing good, that he’d called to check on him a few times, and that he had figured it was because Andy was out of town. Ayden had said that Knight had called, even invited him out for food once or twice, and that he was a pretty cool dude, after all.
The uneasiness I felt from this news passed quickly as I realized that maybe, just maybe, they had gotten over themselves and realized that they’re both a part of my life, and that they’ll have to deal with each other.
Andy had left soon after they returned home from dropping me off here at school, not even leaving Ayden or Knight a note or reason. They’d each found out a few days later, when neither could get in contact with him, and learned from one of his stoner friends that he had skipped town for a few weeks, leaving with some girl he had met who had stolen his heart (who really had simply promised him to keep him supplied with God-knows-what as long as he stuck by her side, which apparently meant New Mexico).
School started. I settled into my classes, found the fastest route to each, and organized my desk to its most efficient setup. I took notes, texted during class, ate lunch in the cafeteria, and went out with some people I met on campus Fridays, when class was out-of-session for the week. It was good. It was nice. It was perfect. I fell into rhythm with everything so quickly; I knew that I’d made the right decision to follow my dreams to this very school.
The first day I didn’t get a phone call, I hadn’t even realized it. It wasn’t until the next morning, when I was brushing my teeth in the communal bathroom, that it dawned on me. Ayden had failed to call, Knight hadn’t texted me since two days ago, and the messages I had sent each of them were never answered.
I quickly scrubbed at my gums some more, spat and rinsed my mouth, smoothed my hair and returned to my room, checking my phone to make sure that I was thinking correctly. I was. I knew I shouldn’t worry, but I couldn’t help it. They had both been doing so well, Ayden even seeming excited about our nightly conversations that I couldn’t stop myself. I grabbed my bag, stepped out the door and moved through the dorm to the outside, walking through campus to my class without a second thought. My mind was elsewhere, back home, as I finally settled outside of the classroom, sitting on the floor across from the door, ten minutes early.
I pulled my phone out, opening a new message, and constructed what I could only hope would be the nicest way to ask what the fuck had happened to each of them. “Hey, what’s up? I haven’t heard from you recently, I was just wondering if you were alright. I’ve got class now, but if you text me, I’ll be sure to get back at you. I love you.”
Class starts. Class ends. I grab a coffee on the way back to my room, check my email, and write down my class assignments for the next few days, according to my syllabi. Then, once Anne gets back, we go out to dinner, a little place a few blocks down from the edge of campus. I forget about Ayden and Knight. When we get back to the room, stuffed with pasta and creamy chocolate desserts, we watch an old eighties movie on Anne’s laptop, then call it a night.
When I wake up in the morning, my boys are just an afterthought in my mind, because I’ve woken up later than I had wanted and have to run out the door to class without even taking a good look in the mirror. As I take a seat on the trolley that goes through campus, I figure that I had just overreacted yesterday. Ayden and Knight are fine, just like they had been when they left here, and I should have more faith in them. They haven’t done anything lately to make me think otherwise.
It’s not until lunch that I realize I hadn’t checked my phone all morning. I picked my bag up from its seat next to me on the far side of the cafeteria, reaching inside to find the phone buried deep at the bottom under my notebooks. I flipped it open, taking a bite of the mashed potatoes on my tray, reading over the things I had missed. Two missed calls and a text from a girl in my English 101 class about our project that was due in a week. To my surprise, disappointment and shock, neither of the calls was from Knight or Ayden, but from my Mom. Taking a look around me, I dialed 1 for my Voicemail and waited, pressing the phone to my ear.
The first and earliest message filled my ear, first with the static that preceded my mother’s message. “Um, hi Elle. This is your Mom. I was just calling to, um, say hello. If you could call me back when you get this, it would be nice because, um… just call me. Bye.”
Confused by one, her tone, and two, the fact that she had called me to begin with, I hurried to delete the message and move on to the more recent one.
“Elle, you need to call me. I’m serious. Your brother got into some trouble. I figured you of all people could… you know, talk to him. I love you.”
**
“Hello?” I said, as soon as the phone stopped ringing. “Hello? It’s Elle. What happened to Ayden?”
“Just a black eye,” he said, his voice ringing out to me over the line. “You should see the other guy.” He laughed.
“What happened? What’d you do? Who hit you, Ayden?”
“It was just a… miscommunication. I was hanging at Andy’s, there was a party and things got out of hand.”
“Ayden, who hit you?”
“You don’t wanna know, Elle.”
“Ayden.”
“Elle.”
“Ayden, tell me who the fuck hit you.”
“I don’t want to upset you…”
I should have pieced it together, honestly. I should have. But with such sudden news, my emotions on high as I spoke to my injured brother over the phone, my mind was the least bit organized.
“Ayden, you tell me right now or I’m coming home and finding out myself.”
I should have figured it out. Only I didn’t. So when Ayden finally said it, his name, my reaction was honest. A gasp, shock, and then anger as my face flushed red, a chill sweeping through my body as I stared at the wall in front of me.
“Knight did it, Elle.”
Both of my boys held good on their promises, for the first few days. Weeks went by and I was still getting the daily phone calls from Ayden, the texts from Knight. Each told me about their days, how they missed me, the going-ons of life back home, even about each other. It was weird at first, listening to them talk about the other, feeling as if maybe I was betraying each boy’s trust as Knight told me that Ayden was doing good, that he’d called to check on him a few times, and that he had figured it was because Andy was out of town. Ayden had said that Knight had called, even invited him out for food once or twice, and that he was a pretty cool dude, after all.
The uneasiness I felt from this news passed quickly as I realized that maybe, just maybe, they had gotten over themselves and realized that they’re both a part of my life, and that they’ll have to deal with each other.
Andy had left soon after they returned home from dropping me off here at school, not even leaving Ayden or Knight a note or reason. They’d each found out a few days later, when neither could get in contact with him, and learned from one of his stoner friends that he had skipped town for a few weeks, leaving with some girl he had met who had stolen his heart (who really had simply promised him to keep him supplied with God-knows-what as long as he stuck by her side, which apparently meant New Mexico).
School started. I settled into my classes, found the fastest route to each, and organized my desk to its most efficient setup. I took notes, texted during class, ate lunch in the cafeteria, and went out with some people I met on campus Fridays, when class was out-of-session for the week. It was good. It was nice. It was perfect. I fell into rhythm with everything so quickly; I knew that I’d made the right decision to follow my dreams to this very school.
The first day I didn’t get a phone call, I hadn’t even realized it. It wasn’t until the next morning, when I was brushing my teeth in the communal bathroom, that it dawned on me. Ayden had failed to call, Knight hadn’t texted me since two days ago, and the messages I had sent each of them were never answered.
I quickly scrubbed at my gums some more, spat and rinsed my mouth, smoothed my hair and returned to my room, checking my phone to make sure that I was thinking correctly. I was. I knew I shouldn’t worry, but I couldn’t help it. They had both been doing so well, Ayden even seeming excited about our nightly conversations that I couldn’t stop myself. I grabbed my bag, stepped out the door and moved through the dorm to the outside, walking through campus to my class without a second thought. My mind was elsewhere, back home, as I finally settled outside of the classroom, sitting on the floor across from the door, ten minutes early.
I pulled my phone out, opening a new message, and constructed what I could only hope would be the nicest way to ask what the fuck had happened to each of them. “Hey, what’s up? I haven’t heard from you recently, I was just wondering if you were alright. I’ve got class now, but if you text me, I’ll be sure to get back at you. I love you.”
Class starts. Class ends. I grab a coffee on the way back to my room, check my email, and write down my class assignments for the next few days, according to my syllabi. Then, once Anne gets back, we go out to dinner, a little place a few blocks down from the edge of campus. I forget about Ayden and Knight. When we get back to the room, stuffed with pasta and creamy chocolate desserts, we watch an old eighties movie on Anne’s laptop, then call it a night.
When I wake up in the morning, my boys are just an afterthought in my mind, because I’ve woken up later than I had wanted and have to run out the door to class without even taking a good look in the mirror. As I take a seat on the trolley that goes through campus, I figure that I had just overreacted yesterday. Ayden and Knight are fine, just like they had been when they left here, and I should have more faith in them. They haven’t done anything lately to make me think otherwise.
It’s not until lunch that I realize I hadn’t checked my phone all morning. I picked my bag up from its seat next to me on the far side of the cafeteria, reaching inside to find the phone buried deep at the bottom under my notebooks. I flipped it open, taking a bite of the mashed potatoes on my tray, reading over the things I had missed. Two missed calls and a text from a girl in my English 101 class about our project that was due in a week. To my surprise, disappointment and shock, neither of the calls was from Knight or Ayden, but from my Mom. Taking a look around me, I dialed 1 for my Voicemail and waited, pressing the phone to my ear.
The first and earliest message filled my ear, first with the static that preceded my mother’s message. “Um, hi Elle. This is your Mom. I was just calling to, um, say hello. If you could call me back when you get this, it would be nice because, um… just call me. Bye.”
Confused by one, her tone, and two, the fact that she had called me to begin with, I hurried to delete the message and move on to the more recent one.
“Elle, you need to call me. I’m serious. Your brother got into some trouble. I figured you of all people could… you know, talk to him. I love you.”
**
“Hello?” I said, as soon as the phone stopped ringing. “Hello? It’s Elle. What happened to Ayden?”
“Just a black eye,” he said, his voice ringing out to me over the line. “You should see the other guy.” He laughed.
“What happened? What’d you do? Who hit you, Ayden?”
“It was just a… miscommunication. I was hanging at Andy’s, there was a party and things got out of hand.”
“Ayden, who hit you?”
“You don’t wanna know, Elle.”
“Ayden.”
“Elle.”
“Ayden, tell me who the fuck hit you.”
“I don’t want to upset you…”
I should have pieced it together, honestly. I should have. But with such sudden news, my emotions on high as I spoke to my injured brother over the phone, my mind was the least bit organized.
“Ayden, you tell me right now or I’m coming home and finding out myself.”
I should have figured it out. Only I didn’t. So when Ayden finally said it, his name, my reaction was honest. A gasp, shock, and then anger as my face flushed red, a chill sweeping through my body as I stared at the wall in front of me.
“Knight did it, Elle.”