Heart of Gold

I turned off my computer after my video call with Stella. I couldn’t believe it. I’m going to be a father. I don’t know either to be excited or scared. I mean for crying out loud, last season I won my first Olympic Gold Medal, the Stanley Cup and the Conne Smyth trophy. This season I hear I’m going to be a father. I don’t know what to say. “Hey dude!” I turned around to see Kaner getting ready to go out. “Yea?” I asked. “You ready?” I nodded.

The team decided to stay in and play some video games. Sharpie kept glancing at me after he got off a phone call. He noticed something was wrong with me.
“Toe-ez what’s up?” Sharpie asked plopping his butt in the seat next to me. Usually I’d play with them but today I didn’t. “Why is it because I’m not playing?” I asked them. He nodded. “It’s nothing.” I assured him. “Sure doesn’t look like nothing to me.” I sighed and shook my head. “Stella’s pregnant.” I said. Sharpie looked taken back.
“Are you sure?” I nodded. “Before I came down here, I was talking to her. She hasn’t been feeling well and she took the test and…. Yeah.”
One of the our newest Hawks, Marty Turco, seized to over hear the conversation. “Tazer, your girl has one in the oven?” he asked me. I sighed.
“Yeah, she’s been feeling a bit sick lately.”
“Well bud, the one thing of advice. Don’t let it stress you. She’ll be fine. Trust me. When Kelly was pregnant with Hailey, it hurt for the first couple of months being away from her whenever there was away games. But we always kept in touch and up to date with everything in the pregnancy. I’m sure Stella would do the same thing. Just relax Captain Serious.”
I sighed knowing the Turks was right.

“Just don’t stress and you and Stella will be fine. All you have to do to get through with her mood swings is to go along with everything and try to listen to her. We‘re all here for you.” he continued seeing that I was surely stressed out about this.

Later that night I headed back to my room. As I finished getting ready for bed, my phone rang from the night stand next to my bed. I walked over to it and saw that it was Stella. “Is something wrong Stella?” I said answering my phone. “Uh Jon. This is Beth.” the person on the other phone said. “Where’s Stella?” I asked. I heard her gulp on the other end. “Yeah, no idea. I was over earlier to see if she was really you know Prego, and left a while ago. Then like hours later she calls me saying that she needs me. When I get here, the door is opened, nothings damaged and there’s a note on the table from Stella.” “What?”

“Yeah, I have no idea. Do you want me to read the note.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh okay. But brace yourself."

My dearest Gwen. You may be wondering where I am right now or why I called you over. Well here it is. The reason why I called you over is because I wanted someone to know that I don’t know if I could handle all this. By handle all this. I mean being pregnant before a wedding not after, or being able to take care of the baby without the help of Jon during season. Please don’t call Jon about this. I know that he will worry. I really think that the stress is really killing me. Especially with everything that’s going on with the bakery, Jon being away I just couldn’t handle it. After you guys left earlier, my mom called. You may know that my dad’s been sick for a while. I didn't want this day to come but it did. My mom told me that the treatments he’s been getting stopped working and took his life. With everything now I don’t think I can stay in a place that makes me happy. Don’t worry, I’ll be back so don’t worry about me. All I can tell you is to tell Jon that I love him. Thanks for being the best friend ever Gwen. I’ll see you soon. Stella

As soon as Gwen finished the sentence my immediate reaction was to get up and go find her. “Jon, do you think you know where she went?” Gwen said. I could her the strain in her voice as she was worried for her best friend. “I have no idea. There’s got to be a place where she could be. I wish I could help but I can’t just get a plane ride back to Chicago. But Gwen try your best to find her please.” After that phone call I went to bed with thoughts floating through my head. I was worried about her but then I was convinced that she was fine.

---------------------

I couldn’t do this anymore. My mom called after the girls left earlier from our little baby celebration party. She called to say that dad wasn’t doing so well. It’s gotten worse than it was earlier that summer. I broke down crying. My dad was my best friend. He was someone I could count on. He promised me he’d be there for my wedding. My salty tears seeped through my mouth. As much as I tried to wipe them away, they kept on coming back. I just wanted to leave. I packed up as much as I could and grabbed something to write on.

I started my car in this cold Chicago weather. It took a while but it heated up in time. I texted Gwen to see if she could meet me up in the condo. She agreed to and said she’d be their in a few minutes. That was enough time for me to escape. I drove passed downtown Chicago. Tears were still streaming down my face. I couldn’t face Jonathan anymore. It’s like that huge hole in my chest was ripped out into little tiny pieces. I knew leaving Chicago was only temporary but it was needed at this moment.

-----------------------

It’s been three weeks since Stella ‘left’. I had the urge to call her but unfortunately she left her phone here. I knew she needed some time alone. I just felt like a really bad boyfriend, fiancé persona. I didn’t know what to do at this point. I wanted to find her but I couldn’t leave my job. Everything was going well on ice but off ice I couldn’t stand being here alone without her. It’s not right. I need to find her.