It was a lie when you smiled, and said "you won't feel a thing".

I suddently felt a burst of anger explode inside of me.

"Well, what have you got planned this time? Huh? Band practice, photoshoots, or is it just the occasional partying that you do every night?"

My voice got loader as i spoke.
But he stayed silent as he drove. I could tell my the look on his face that he was trying his best to keep hold of the small ounces of patience he had left.

He doesn't have much of it, to be honest.

"Actually Clara, i have a meeting!" He told me, sounding just as bitchy as i did.

WOW! What a great excuse to miss family time; a shitty meeting!
A silly meeting can't be THAT important, i mean, the band doesn't normally have meetings, anyway!

This time i let him have the last word. Nothing was said after that.
To be honest, i had only been here for 5 minutes. I wasn't in the moood for arguing.

*****

But seeing this, alot of people would think i'm being spoiled, or i'm trying to get my own way.
I'm really not, though. I'm being like this because i've missed him so much, in a way that words couldn't describe.

I do hate to do this to him, but i'd do whatever it takes to make him atleast care.
He needs to know how i feel.

I've had this anger whelling up inside of me since i was 6 years old, since my dad has literally cut me out of his life. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's the truth.

A nervouse pit was forming in my stomach as we were driving in silence.
He could be thinking anything right now. How much of a mistake i am, how i'm making his life a living hell.

It's crazy, it really is! But i wouldn't be suprised if he was thinking this.

To be honest with you, i'd rather wonder what someone is thinking, than us being able to read eachother's minds. That would be a total invasion of everyone's privacy.
So i guess its tough either way...

*****

We were just pulling up to the driveway. Dad shot me a quike smile.
"home, sweet home!" He said.

Looks like he's forgiven me for shouting.

I didn't say anything back, though. Instead i faked a smile.

I love you so much that it hurts, but i'm torn between my head & my heart.
And when i see you, i lose my words, because the shame of it tears me apart.

Why don't you realise that i feel the same pain as you, but you don't seem to stop.
So this one time, will you listen without completely cutting me off?