City Lights

Too drearily focused on the rippling, fluid movements of the translucent, cancerous fog as it emitted from the end of the ashy stick, curling into the atmosphere as waving ribbons of elegant white-grey mist, only to dissipate into vicinity moments later, fading away into the rest of the toxicity of the city, he was unable to notice the ragged, yet strangely beautiful German shepherd standing awkwardly next to him, just barely outside of his peripheral vision.

Planted onto the edge of the curb, Gerard’s eyes traveled from the gradually lengthening, off-shape cylinder of carcinogenic dust, towering on the opposite end of the cigarette, threatening to fall from its own weight, to the large blackish brown marbles of eyes that belonged to the graceful, yet dilapidated dog. He observed it for a moment, attempting to silently understand what the dog’s purpose was for being there, as its innocent-appearing orbs caught onto Gerard and pinned him there onto the cement. Almost immediately, by instinct, Gerard’s eyes began to scan the area around him, searching out a scouting somebody with a dog-less leash; concentrating his hearing on any distant yells of what might have been the dog’s name. Though, the only result he was able to return with was the sound of the apartment’s front door behind him, creaking open and slamming closed, followed by the soft steps of tattered shoes against the concrete stairwell of the stoop.

Rotating his head only a small bit, to look barely over his shoulder, Gerard managed to observe Frank as he dragged his feet lazily over the walkway to the edge of the curb where Gerard had settled himself, waiting for him. With the dog sitting a mere two feet away, he nearly jumped in surprise, when its sudden bark startled him. He turned back around to see the German shepherd, just as it briskly shifted its weight from one side to the other, as it stood up from its former sitting position, whilst he felt Frank’s hand pressing down on his shoulder as he brought himself down onto the curb as well, dropping a plastic dog bowl onto the sidewalk, and setting a small bag of dog food down in between them.

“He’s yours?” Gerard finally spoke, looking back and forth between the dog’s anxious expression and movements, Frank feeling for the food dish as he poured small brown circles that served as dog food, into the bowl, and Frank’s calm, blank face as he finished pouring in the food to wrap up the bag again and ready his cane onto the ground.

“Actually,” Frank began, feeling for the dish again and sliding it over a bit towards where he assumed the dog was standing. Gerard watched the German shepherd’s head plunge inward, to begin devouring the food set out for him, its tail whipping from side to side until it managed to calm down.

“He’s kind of nobody’s,” he finished, tucking his cane a bit under his arm to grab the zipper of his hooded sweatshirt and zip it up higher than it was before, to fight against the small wind that began to set in. Gerard looked back at the homeless dog once more, letting them sit in a tranquil silence, as he felt the breeze clutch onto the ends of his hair and tangle it.

“I mean, I’d totally take him in,” Frank went on, sitting up a bit and adjusting the cane in his hands, as he swiftly made it to his feet, causing Gerard to follow along, adjusting his coat and sniffling somewhat as they stood there , the dog in between them. “But, you know, guy running the place doesn’t like dogs.”

Gerard absentmindedly nodded his head in response, as he watched Frank’s eyes unintentionally make eye contact with him.

“Okay,” Frank’s voice suddenly raised to a bit higher, more chipper level, as he hopped a bit on his feet, letting a quick smile spread across his face. “Let’s go.”

Not fully paying attention, Gerard simply watched as the end of the cane connected with the ground, with Frank beginning down the sidewalk. He unconsciously, yet adoringly observed Frank move forward a bit, watching the smoothness of his steps as they became in synch with the soft tapping of the cane across the slushy cement, before he paused and turned his head towards his shoulder, as if to look back at Gerard.

“You coming?” Frank asked playfully, causing Gerard to avert his attention back to Frank fully.

“Don’t you think we should just…get a cab or something?” Gerard suggested, walking up to Frank, as he adjusted his coat tighter around his narrow middle, once the breeze began to amplify. “It’d take too long to walk…”

“And miss out on seeing all this beauty?” Frank responded back, raising and spreading his arms outward to motion towards the winter-coated buildings towering over them in every possible direction.

Gerard paused for a moment, listening to Frank as he spoke, then attempting to decipher it, almost immediately before a strange sense of awkward confusion shot through him, as his eyes scanned over their surroundings; blindingly white snow blanketing over every flat surface that existed in between the parallel rows of brownstones, sitting quietly underneath a grayed, insipid sky.

“Think about it,” Frank mused, taking a step towards Gerard, sliding towards him close enough for their breath to be felt, misting onto each other’s frozen cheeks. “Cabs only get stuck in traffic. And besides…”

Gerard observed him, as if he were waiting for Frank to suddenly, yet gracefully explain his miraculous plan, though only saw Frank adjust his cane more steadily on the sidewalk, a puzzlingly clever-looking smile slipping onto his paled, moisture-frozen skin.

“I know a shortcut.”

Blinking once as he continued to blankly examine the expression that had graciously draped over Frank’s features, he had subconsciously decided not to question Frank’s thought process at that moment, as he was marginally convinced that he would get no translatable, tangible answer. Though, unable to help himself, he could still not stop himself from wondering if he’d ever be able to fully understand where these bewildering ideas came from, if he would ever have the chance to freely see the forest from which the fantastic thoughts and conceptions grew, hidden craftily deep beneath the surrounding walls of his complex, yet magnificent mind.

Swiftly stepping back and tapping his cane down onto the half-frozen cement, then subtly sliding it forward a bit, Frank’s other arm reached up to pull the hood of his jacket up over his head, covering his ears, partially protecting them from the softly cold temperature around them. Gerard, still encapsulated in his slightly confusion, could only watch with a certain interest as Frank slid the cane over the cement once more, his facial expression tightening for a small moment, as his concentration was suddenly directed downwards at the sidewalk, his motions focused entirely on the cane.

“Wait…what?” Gerard’s thoughts and wonders had suddenly dissipated as his mind now focused on exactly what Frank was planning to do, just as soon as he saw Frank’s body moving quickly away, the cane sliding over the concrete in an attentive fashion. Still hastily attempting to figure out what was going, Gerard watched as Frank made it at least fifteen feet down the street, the cane moving quicker across the sidewalk as his walking motions had swiftly advanced to a jog, before he had slowed to a quick stop, his head turning to glance over his shoulder once more.

“Come on!” Frank called, his feet still excitingly shifting back and forth. “You don’t wanna miss the previews, do you?”

Before any adequate answer could be given to what Gerard hoped was a rhetorical question, he had suddenly felt a feeling of hurried anxiousness rush through him, as Frank began to move again, jogging quickly, yet gracefully, causing Gerard to move into action, with a sudden adrenaline rush, an urge to catch up and not be left to lag behind. Uncrossing his arms and nearly slipping a bit on the sporadic sheets of thin ice as he hurriedly brought himself into a running speed as well, he caught up to Frank as he cut around a corner, masterly navigating along his alleged shortcut.

“Wait…” Gerard started, his breath being lowered to that of a pathetic pant much faster than he thought, his usual lack of any considerably physical activities bringing him down, as he attempted to run anyway, to keep a speed equivalent to that of Frank’s graceful and seemingly effortless movement through a short maze of alleyways and somewhat crowded city streets

. “Wait up…wait, do you even know where you’re going?”

It had taken only a split second for Gerard’s words to register into his own head, causing a terrified bolt of apprehension and guilt to tear through him, nearly faltering the shaky jog he managed to bring himself up to. Half-expecting a sour reaction, something to punish him for the subtle slip of an unintentionally insulting comment, he glanced at Frank only long enough to see that a clever smirk had formed on his face, as usual, in response.

“Well, duh,” Frank answered good-humouredly, swiftly running three more feet ahead before he slowed himself to a stop once he had come to the alleyway’s end, that led out into a swarming shopping district. His expression, previously dressed in a smile and cleverness, soon lowered once again, as his attention became focused through his arm, his hand lifting slowly to feel the rough surface of the brick wall. Gerard, allowing a sense of relief to wash over him, watched as Frank’s fingers skated over the harsh surface, tracing along the lines of plaster that bonded the ceramic together, as if an invisible map had been drawn over it, and he needed to feel over everything to trace it out.

“Are you sure where…” Gerard had began, his vision trailing over Frank’s sketching hand, to the bustling street.

“Yep,” Frank’s voice suddenly lurched back into its lively mode, answering Gerard‘s unfinished question; a childish-appearing grin extinguishing the solemn facial expression instantly, as he nearly hopped upward in a sudden burst of contentment, right before he quickly slid forward into the haze of people. Unable to even see Frank enter into the crowd before he had quickly disappeared, Gerard promptly jolted into the crowd after him, his eyes scanning the ground, through the forest of ankles, quickly spotting out the gray cane that stood out between them all.

“Wait…wait up!” Gerard hissed urgently, as he attempted to steer around the others, until he was able to catch up to Frank, who had still been moving quite quickly; though, by the time he had actually managed to come within a three-inch distance between himself and Frank, he had nearly run straight into him, as he only had one instant second to realize that Frank had come to a complete stop once again.

Seeing him stand there for a moment, his eyes blank and his face calm, unmoving throughout, he quickly looked over to both the left and right, whilst he attempted to figure out why Frank had stopped altogether now. Although, upon looking over his shoulder, the obvious realization of their arrival had come to him, as soon as familiar film posters held within large, glass-covered cases, entered into his peripheral vision.

As the panting breaths that had protruded from deep within his lungs began to remind him of a dog, making him feel almost pitifully inexperienced and embarrassed by his utter usual laziness that had kept him from being able to breathe properly, he suddenly came to the second realization of how only a small amount of time had gone by.

“That…that was fast,” he had uttered promptly a moment later, looking back over at Frank, who he correctly expected to have the usual, smart grin on his face.

“And you thought we’d be late,” Frank commented cleverly, bouncing his cane into one hand and smoothly folding it up with the other, to place it into his dilapidated messenger bag slung around one shoulder.

“Well…I just…” Gerard began clumsily, awkwardly searching for an adequate explanation, but finding no words that he could say, that would not come out sounding redundant. His eyes, caught by embarrassment, traveled sideways, wandering around so not to make eye contact, until they had finally come back to Frank, to catch him chuckling softly.

“Come on,” Frank smiled, stepping toward Gerard, then subtly slipping his hand underneath Gerard’s elbow, to warmly latch on it, implicating that Gerard lead the way. “Let’s go.”

Upon taking the first three steps into the theater, the tremendously strong aromas of buttered popcorn, caffeinated soda, and the odd scents of different people, he had almost instantly been taken back to his teenage years, remembering these same smells, the same sounds of people, both amplified by the high he had always brought himself to beforehand; suddenly remembering this and subconsciously comparing his once amusing adolescence to his now despondent adulthood; suddenly realizing that he had not been to the movies in years.

Although it appeared that Frank had grabbed a hold of his arm to silently tell Gerard to lead them in, it seemed Frank himself had managed to escort them in the right direction more than Gerard had. As they began towards the ticket booth, Gerard’s attention had rapidly, yet subtly focused immediately on Frank’s hand, as it slipped out of its grip around Gerard’s elbow, to casually slide down to Gerard’s wrist, coming extremely close to fully holding his hand.

Before he was even able to open his mouth to speak once the employee on the other side of the counter had brought her attention to them, waiting for their request, Frank had already stepped forward and gave their answer.

Struggling to split his attention in half, as he quickly found he needed to keep it focused both the concession stand, and Frank’s pleasantly subtle, yet greatly tantalizing hand movements down the length of his palm and fingers, Gerard weakly attempted to keep his mind focused mainly on the concession stand, as he clearly knew that focusing on the other option had never left him feeling very uncomfortable.

“I’ll just have…a water,” Gerard mumbled, taking only two seconds to scan over the options available and decide that none of them seemed even remotely appealing.

“A water?” Frank spoke up beside him, turning his head slightly towards Gerard, to show a sudden teasing-like smirk. He had kept his heard turned towards him as Gerard quickly leaned in to take the water bottle handed to him, and to take advantage of the situation by using his wallet as an excuse to let go of Frank’s hand.

“Wimp,” Frank chuckled playfully, causing Gerard to glance over at him, unsure of what to say back. Though, before he was able to think of a comeback or anything similar, he could see Frank already turning back to the employee to recite his own order.

“Large popcorn and Twizzlers,” Frank said simply, his finger tracing circles over Gerard’s open palm until it hooked around his little finger youthfully.

“You’re gonna eat all of that?” Gerard asked, glancing over at Frank, as he reached forward and momentarily felt around for the large bag of popcorn, taking it with on hand once he had grasped it.

“No,” he answered jauntily, causing Gerard to instantly look at him strangely. “You’re sharing it with me,” he finished, smiling cleverly.

Continuing to look at him oddly for a moment, Gerard reminded himself silently not to question or argue, as it was rendered useless at that point. Instead, choosing to allow Frank to somehow lead them into the theater, he embraced the comfortable darkness of the large, yet vastly empty room.

“Are we really the only ones here…?” Gerard mused quietly, observing the multiple rows of padded seats, that appeared to completely lack any other viewers. Turning back to Frank, just as he had suddenly grabbed a firm hold of Gerard’s wrist to softly tug him up the stairwell that led to higher rows of seats, Gerard quickly caught the sweet grin that had only momentarily flashed over Frank’s features.

“Sweet, nobody’ll see us,” Frank said, grinning as they found two seats in the very center of all the seats. Gerard looked over at him bizarrely, as he usually did, only to look back at the blank screen, embarrassingly wondering whether or not he would ever become accustomed to Frank’s sense of uncanny humor, just as Frank began to smile and laugh softly, turning his head slightly towards Gerard, wordlessly telling him that it was nothing more than a joke.

“Haven’t you ever been the only one in the theater before?” Frank asked, setting the bag of popcorn down on Gerard’s lap, as he maneuvered the plastic wrapping around the Twizzlers candy, until he was able to rip it open and slip one out and begin eating it.

“Well…I don’t usually go to the movies…I don’t really have the time,” Gerard answered lowly, able to see the lights begin to dim, out of the corner of his eyes, as clicking sounds protruded from the projector above, casting the previews out onto the massive screen.

“Don’t have the time?” Frank echoed him, sounding incredulous. Gerard looked at him strangely again, confused as to what he had said that was exactly so wrong.

“Bullshit,” Frank said flatly, taking a large bite out of the Twizzler in his hand. “You always have enough time to go to the movies.”

“Well…I have work,” Gerard began to bring up excuses.

“And I don’t?” Frank responded, raising an eyebrow. Gerard watched him as he suddenly took the entire bag of Twizzlers in one hand, so that he could lift himself up in the chair and sit cross-legged in it, allowing their knees to touch unintentionally. Settling back down into the chair, he let out an innocent sigh.

“We need to get you here more often, man,” Frank mused. Gerard looked at him for a moment, suddenly loving how his features seemed to look even more enigmatic, in the darkness, as the blaring sounds of actors and actresses’ voices and musical scores began to encompass the entire theater.

“You know you want to,” Frank said slyly, making Gerard look over at him again, now seeing that he had leaned in even closer towards Gerard.

Focusing his vision on the one half of Frank’s face that was still visible, glowing blue from the bright images on the screen casting out in front of them, the increasingly loud sounds of the preview began to engulf them, somewhat deadening their voices.

“Say it,” Gerard heard Frank’s voice through the projected sounds of voices, dramatic music, explosions, and any other possible sound that he assumed could come from an action film. Catching Frank’s eyes with his own, he froze as he felt Frank’s fingers connect with Gerard’s hand again, delicately crawling across his skin like spider legs, lightly tracing across his knuckles, caressing his entire hand. “Say you’ll come to the movies with me more often.”

Allowing his eyes to wander back to the screen, just as the second preview began, he felt Frank move even closer to him, until he was sure he felt his breath on his cheek.

“Say it,” Frank persisted softly, grinning as his fingers continued to teasingly caress over his hand, tracing over his skin until it had begun to tickle. “Say you’ll go out with me.”

Watching the screen for a moment, feeling Frank’s fingers continue their playing, Gerard bit the side of his lip and chewed it a bit, as the feel of Frank’s fingers on his own began to make him feel extremely uneasy, yet oddly stimulating.

“Okay,” he finally managed to speak, his voice weak with nervousness. “I will.”

Glancing back over at Frank, once he had finally brought up the strength to give a good enough answer, he saw Frank’s cunning smile rejuvenate as it always did, with a hint of loveable satisfaction hidden faintly underneath.

“Good,” Frank answered back softly, before he reached for his packet of Twizzlers once more, to pull one out and place one end between his teeth, lifting up the other to Gerard’s lips.

Watching Frank’s lips for a moment, as they interestingly curled around the licorice sweet, he had begun to feel the strange sensation of smiling himself, the foreign, alien feeling of grinning as he began to play along, taking the opposite end of the candy in his own lips, chewing away at the flimsy sweet, simultaneously, until he had felt the wonderful taste of Frank’s lips on his again, overwhelmed by the longing desire, as his hand, rather than Frank’s, had found the back of Frank’s head to pull them together, like he had been waiting for the entire time.