Beatlemania!

“Look at this,” Neil Aspinall shoved a rather ordinary looking LP cover into my hand as I entered the Apple building.

“Hello to you too, Neil,” I smiled at him.

“I’m sorry, Alice. Did you and Paul have a nice time in Greece?”

“Yes, it was mostly lovely. But you look positively ill, Neil,” I said concernedly.

“I’m burning out to ashes working this bleeding company, you know. But look at it, honestly; what the hell is he thinking?” Neil gasped at me.

I looked at the cover rather in a blasé fashion. However, one glance and I almost fainted.

“Two Virgins?” I choked.

“I know,” Neil moaned.

The album cover was a set up for controversy. There was John, with his glasses perched on his nose, with his arm around Yoko. My eyes moved down, and there was nothing. No clothes, only breasts, hair, and one penis.

“Fucking hell,” I slapped my forehead, “what is he doing?”

“I don’t think I want to know,” Neil frowned.

“Girls will be at it with a magnifying glass,” I cringed.

Neil managed a grin. “And the lads, I’ll bet.”

I slapped his arm. “That’s not funny.”

“Come on, Alice. It is a little bit funny,” he teased me.

I stifled my laughter. “Is Paul in?”

“Yeah, check with one of the secretaries,” Neil pointed.

I waved goodbye to Neil and continued down the hallway where the secretaries, who were usually tall and good-looking, were lurking.

“Hey, Jasmine,” I greeted one in particular. She was the quietest of the group and the nicest, too. She took the job at Apple because she was in desperate need of money, not because she loved the Beatles.

“Hi, Alice,” she smiled nicely. “How are you?”

“Fine, I suppose. How about you? How are the wedding plans coming?” I asked with trepidation.

Jasmine, who was indeed Indian, was having an arranged marriage, and although I was very against it, Jasmine didn’t seem to mind.

“He’s a nice boy, and he wants me to have the perfect wedding,” she gushed.

“We should have lunch this week; you can tell me all about it. In the meantime, I was actually looking for Paul,” I whispered.

Jasmine nodded. “He’s downstairs with Mary Hopkin.”
~

Mary Hopkin had a great voice; I loved it. I went downstairs to the studio and spotted Paul with Mary, going over some lyrics. I waited until they were finished before interrupting.

“Hi, Mary,” I smiled at her.

“Alice!” she gave me a hug. “Are you free for lunch? McCartney here says he’s too busy to go out with me.”

“Is he?” I flashed Paul a grin. “I was about to ask him to lunch too. But if he’s too busy...”

Paul grabbed at me. “Don’t get all huffy with me, lass.”

“Oh so it’s true? No time for me, the love of your life? The centre of your universe? The very bone of your existence?” I gasped dramatically.

“Oh all right. You’ve persuaded me,” he winked at me.

“We’ll have to have lunch another time, Mary,” I assured her.

“Yes, another time, Mary,” Paul kissed my cheek.

Mary rolled her eyes. “Lovebirds. Soon, Alice! See you tomorrow, Paul.”

Mary left and Paul gave me an enthusiastic kiss.

“Hello to you too, sweetheart,” I giggled.

“I left without saying good morning today; that’s all,” he mumbled.

“Come on, you. Lunch. I’m starved.”
~

We ordered lunch at a tiny pub by Apple where we went often.

“Did you see John’s Two Virgins shit, then?” Paul asked me conversationally.

I nodded darkly. “I hope to God he knows what he’s getting into, Paul.”

“I don’t think he cares, and that’s what he’s going to prove. He’s got Yoko and he’s got music; that’s all he needs.”

I frowned. “He’s being stupid if you ask me.”

“You should tell him that,” Paul advised. “He might actually listen to you.
~
I phoned John the next day, and received no response. I tried again the next day. No response.

One week later, I tried once again. Finally, a disgruntled Yoko answered the telephone.

“Hello??”

“Hi, is John there, please?” I asked politely.

She sounded peeved. “Who’s speaking?”

“It’s Alice,” I answered carefully.

Without acknowledgement, Yoko passed the phone on to John, who answered cheerfully.

“Is that you, Paul?” he called out.

I cleared my throat. “Actually, it’s Alice. Where have you been the past week?”

John laughed. “Yoko and I tried this exercise where you unplug your phone for a week. It really helps you relax, see.”

“That sounds...interesting. Anyway I was wondering if you were free for a drink tonight?” I asked.

“I’m always up for a drink, love,” John chuckled. “Shall we say eight at the Three Kings pub?”

“That’s fine, John. See you there.”
~
I brought the picture of the dreaded album cover with me to the bar, but I never ended up taking it out. John was already high by the time he got here, and after an hour I was barely tipsy enough to think he was uproariously funny.

“Alice, your drink is on fire!” John yelped, snatching at my drink and spilling it all over me.

I giggled. “I’m all wet.”

“You’ve gone and pissed yourself!” John laughed loudly.

Everyone in the bar was watching us now; and it wasn’t because of John’s Beatle-ness. I was alert enough to recognize this and I stood up unsteadily.

“I think we should go for a walk,” I announced, slurring my words only barely.

John’s drug was wearing off by this time, but he followed me out like a little puppy dog.
I think the cold, English air cleared both of our heads. Especially John, who hadn’t really drunk anything but was simply in a dream.

“So why did you ask me to have drinks, love?” he asked gently as he led me onto the pavement.

“Can’t I just have drinks with you, as a friend?” I asked innocently. (or as innocently as you can sound when you’re tipsy.)

John snorted. “It’s about the bloody album cover, isn’t it?”

“Well...yes,” I admitted.

He looked at me seriously. “I think you should just leave it. It’s my decision and I’ve already made it.”

I sobered up immediately. “Well then, I suppose I won’t bother saying anything about it, then.”

John nodded. “Thank you.”

“I think it’s brave and stupid at the same time!” I blurted out.

He glared at me. “You liar! I don’t care about your opinion.”

But the smile on his face said otherwise.

“I never got to thank you for than necklace you sent me off to Greece with,” I displayed what I was wearing on my neck.

“Did you like it? I dunno, I thought you would,” John blushed.

“Don’t blush, Lennon. It was nice, but why on earth did you give it to me and not Yoko?” I demanded.

“She’s not much of a jewellery gal. Except for the engagement ring, mind,” he shrugged it off.

“Well I hope you didn’t fork out a fortune for this,” I warned him.

He grinned. “Not a penny, Miss.”

“What, are you a pickpocket now?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Nah, Mimi gave it to me. Said it was me mum’s.”

I looked at John earnestly. “Jesus, John. You should really give it to Yoko.”

“Julia would’ve liked you much better,” John assured me with a laugh.

“No, she would have loved Yoko because you love her,” I corrected.

John gave me a lopsided smile. “Keep it, Alice.”

~