Finding Lost Loves

We all waited on the curb, talking about what to do about Mom and Dad. "Come on. Let's just walk. Mom isn't coming today," Gracie said, sadly. Gracie's so sweet. She always expects the best out of people, and it really surprised her every time people don't live up to it.

For instance, Mom is supposed to pick us up every day, but she's, but she's really only picked us up a handful of times. Usually, she's drunk at home--Not violent drunk, just absent and if she's super drunk she gets loud--or "out with the girls." I don't care…as long as she doesn't try to talk to me; slurring and spilling her red wine all over herself--classy. Most of the time, I don't have to worry about that though.

All of us were quiet for once, even me and Railyn. I know! I was surprised to.

"How far is it to the house?" Katie asked, a while later. She looked like she wanted to curl up in a little ball and go to sleep.

"ARE WE THERE YET?!" we all shouted, just to embarrass her…again. Katie's funny when she turns red.

"About three miles," Emma said. "We need to start taking the bus. OF course that would be the one day Mom would actually pick us up on time and we'd all be grounded for the rest of our lives," Emma pointed out.

She's a real buzz kill sometimes. "Shut up, druggie. Keep walking," I muttered.

Emma's look almost singed my clothes. "Shut. Up. I don't want to deal with you right now, especially since Mom and Dad are a half step away from a divorce and we have no idea what to do about this," Emma snarled, taking her anger and frustration out on me.

Katie sighed. "There's no point in yelling at each other," she whispered. "We're all on the same side."

Gracie nodded, quickly. "How about a sleepover tonight? Allie and Linnie can come sleep in our room. It'll be quiet since…you know…" We knew. Mom and Dad never fight two days in a row. All we hear is dead silence threw the vent in their room. That's the scariest thing; not hearing anything.

"All right. It'll be fun," Linnie said, shrugging her shoulders at me. "We can talk about what to do…AGAIN." Linnie knew we were all sick of talking about this, but she also knew none of us were going to drop it. No matter what we were talking about, it always circled back to that. It was pretty horrible.

We kept walking, slightly more cheerful now that we had plans for the night . "At least it's sunny out," Gracie said, happily. She rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and held out of her arms, soaking up the sun. "I'm going to tan!"

Emma groaned, looking like she was going to sink into her black coat more than she already does. "Oh shit! I'm going to burn up! I'll be a lobster!" Emma whined.

Ooh idea! "If you want you can lift me over your head and I'll be your umbrella," I offered. Emma snorted, but didn't say anything. She didn't have to. The snort was enough. "Pfft. Fine then. I guess I'll have to walk my delicate self all the way home."

"Yeah. Me and Allie's delicate constitutions-" Linnie tried to add before she was interrupted.

"Let me remind you that we have the same genes, but I, unlike you, wouldn't fall over and die at the first sign of hard work," Gracie said.

"Well, good for you. You can do the dirty, mess up your new jeans work while Linnie and I work on our tans," I said.

Gracie didn't say anything. She just rolled her eyes at me.

We got home about ten minutes later. Guess what? No mom.

"At least it'll be quiet," Linnie said, hopefully. "She won't fall over drunk and break another lamp. If I have to go lamp shopping one more time…" Believe me, I could sympathize. I've had to buy like forty lamps because Mom get drunk, thinks the lamp is out to get her--I guess?--, and throws the lamp across the room. Not cool.

We tugged all of my and Allie's blankets off of our beds and into Gracie's, Emma's, and Katie's room, where we threw our blankets on the ground next to their. We always just chill on the floor during sleepovers, since our twin beds really can't hold two people. Plus, our floor is really comfortable.

We'd only just got everything when we heard the door open, followed by a slam. Then, there were loud voices coming from the kitchen. We all exchanged looks, not expecting to have to spy so early and scared that Mom and Dad were already yelling again. Usually, they were careful to make sure we couldn't hear them. They didn't know about the vent and would probably be mortified if they knew what we'd heard…well, Dad would. Mom would probably yell at us for not telling her. "So…who wants to go figure out what they're mad about?" Katie asked. No one said anything. "…No volunteers?"

I sighed. At the rate we were going, we were going to miss all the juicy stuff before we made a decision. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

I snuck out the door on my hands and knees, creeping down the hall, then down to the bottom stair where I could hear them better. "You're such a bastard, Taylor. You don't love me. We both know you want to abandon your family for that faggot," Mom hissed. What? Dad's the one who takes care of us. I'd always thought that Mom would leave if it came to a divorce. Sometimes, I think she doesn't like being a mom.

Dad's voice came next. "How can you expect me to love you? I love my daughters though and I would never leave them alone with you. Soon enough, they'll understand. You only have to deal with me for a little bit longer. I suppose you could try to go through the court system again, but do you really think you'll be that lucky a second time?" Dad's words were tough, but his voice sounded so defeated. I don't even think he believed the words he was saying…and what was he talking about courts?

Mom let out an obnoxious, drunken laugh. "If you were so sure about that, you would have taken MY daughters and left by now. If they knew what you were, they'd hate you too. Face it. You're stuck here."

"No, I'm not." Dad sounded so hopeful. "I won't be here forever. I’m done having this argument with you. Next time you need someone to take you home because you got drunk AGAIN, don't call me. You can walk for all I care. Go to sleep. I'm not dealing with you right now."

I heard footsteps coming towards the stairs, and figured that was my cue to leave. I shot up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. I closed the door behind me when I got to our room. "You won't believe what I just heard," I whispered, slightly out of breath. They looked at me questioningly, but it would have to wait. "I'll tell you later. I think Dad's coming up here."

Sure enough, there was a knock at the door a moment later. We knew it had to be Dad. Mom would never knock. "Girls? You in here?" Dad asked, quietly. When none of us answered, he opened the door and looked at our campsite in amusement. "You're having another sleepover?" he asked. "Don't tell your mother. She's worried you guys will leave a mess. As long as you're quiet, she won't notice. She's resting." Dad was doing a pretty good job pretending he was okay, but not good enough. We could all see that Dad was near tears. "Well, I'll leave you alone. You guys can come down and eat dinner whenever. I'll see you in the morning," Dad whispered, kissing each of us on the cheek before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

We all exchanged looks. "Let's go heat up some pizza from last night, before we do anything else," Katie said, all motherly. "Otherwise none of us will end up eating." We nodded, plodding down the stairs as silently as we could. We got our food before going up the stairs just as quietly.

"Okay. Spill already," Emma insisted, staring at me.

"All right, but you're not going to like this," I said. And with that warning, I plunged into this story. I was surprised with how short it was. it felt like it should take a million years to tell, since it was so important. When I finished, I looked at my sisters, none of whom had said a word to interrupt me the entire time. "I told you you weren't going to like hearing it," I said.

"I know," Katie said, her voice shaking. "I just didn't expect it was going to be that bad. Do you think they meant it…about not loving each other? Maybe…maybe they were just angry…they can't have meant it." Katie looked like she was going to cry. None of us felt much better.

"It sounds like they're only still together because of us," Emma said. "And what were they talking about courts? Do you think they ever fought for custody over us? If they don't love each other they should break up. It's not going to do us any good for them to be fighting all the time. I don't know about you, but I want to…I want to stay with Dad when they divorce," Emma said, determinedly.

We all stared at Emma in shock before Linnie whispered, "…Me too." I guess that sent off a single thought in our minds. It was no longer if but when our parents were going to divorce. We all knew who'd we' rather be with when the time came. Mom couldn't take care of us. Dad could. Our minds were made up. Now we just had to wait it out.