Lost In The Stereo Sound

Natalie's POV:
Looking back on it, that day was one that had stayed with me for the past three years. As much as I hated to admit it, I thought about it a lot. If I was lucky, sometimes days would pass by and I wouldn't think about Alex. But he always had an uncanny way of coming back into my daily life. It was a curse.

"Uh, earth to Natalie," my friend Lauren said waving her hand in front of my face. "Were you even listening to me?"

"Oh, um, of course," I responded turning back to face her. We were sitting in the UCLA business library among the stacks.

"I was informing you that we need to apply for jobs. We're graduating in, like, two months," Lauren explained slapping her graduating application on the table we were working at.

"Yeah, you're right," I replied lightly.

"Are you okay?" Lauren asked narrowing her eyes at me. "You seem distracted or something."

"I have a lot on my mind," I replied with a sigh.

"Are you still thinking about him, Nat?" Lauren asked with empathetic eyes.

"No," I lied.

"Look, I've lived with you for the past three years. I can tell when you're lying," she smiled.

"It's been awful lately, Lo," I said after a minute. "This is such bullshit."

"It's not uncommon for people to never stop loving the first person they fell in love with," Lauren said calmly. "Plus, it's not like you got much closure."

"I feel like I made a mistake," I admitted quietly.

"Maybe you did," she said bravely. "But, Nat, you can't change the past."

"I wonder what would have happened," I mumbled.

"Don't torture yourself with what-if scenarios, Nat," Lauren practically begged.

"I'm sorry," I said shaking my head. "You know I don't usually do this."

"Some days are just worse than others," she said patting my hand. "Now let's get started on this accounting homework."

That's what I loved about Lauren. She always knew what to say to calm me down and rationalize my crazy ideas. She'd been my freshman year roommate and we've been inseparable since. Lo was probably the best friend I've ever had. We knew everything about each others' lives and we got along like sisters.

"I think I'm going to head back and take a nap," I said after an hour of hard work.

"Don't do it, Nat," Lauren said knowing perfectly well what I was about to do.

"I have to get it out of my system," I said grabbing my notebook from the table.

"Call me if you need me," she said with a smile.

"Thanks, Lo," I said as I grabbed my bag from the chair and turned around to the stairs.

I tried to distract myself as I walked through campus back to our apartment. The warm sun shone down on my bare shoulders and radiated on my face. I pulled my sunglasses out of my bag and slipped them up the bridge of my nose. In California, my hair had gotten a lot more golden streaks and my skin was darker. I'd also grown two inches and seemingly appeared thinner. College had been good to me.

"Hey, Nat!" a male voice called from behind me. I turned around to see the boy I'd been seeing for the past few months.

"Hey, Liam," I said putting on my cheerful smile.

"How's Marketing for you?" he asked putting his arm around my shoulders. He was a good ten inches taller than me.

"I think I'm getting a high A in it," I replied.

"Damn, Nat. You're always acing everything," he said squeezing my arm. His hair was blowing in the wind and covered his eyes. I'll be honest, the kid was perfect. He treated me like a princess.

"I work my ass off, though," I replied with a shrug.

"I know," he said flashing a perfect smile. My stomach flipped at the sight of it. I think it was his eyes - they were the most beautiful shade of green.

"Do you want to go out later tonight?" Liam asked coming to a stop at the edge of campus. He lived north and I lived south.

"Yeah, I'll definitely need a drink or five," I joked.

"You're so cute," he said engulfing me in a hug. I didn't reply, but I wrapped my arms around his body and stayed there for a while. I felt so safe in his arms. Finally, he pulled away. "I'll call you around seven, alright?"

"Perfect," I said with a smile. He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. With a smile, he turned and walked down the street toward his apartment. Like I said, perfect.

Alex's POV:
"Matt, shut the fuck up and listen to me," I slurred. I hadn't been this drunk in a long time. Sure, I enjoyed drinking, but I was flat out sloppy.

"Alex, we have to walk back to the hotel," Matt said fiddling with his phone and pulling my arm.

"Shh! I'm talking," I said holding my finger up to my lips.

"You have to record vocals tomorrow, Alex," Matt said clearly sounding annoyed.

"I'll be fine, Matt. I will. I will. Watch me," I said stumbling into our hotel in Hollywood.

"How much tequila did he drink?" Jack said looking annoyed as hell at me as I made my entrance.

"What? Cuervo is my best friend, Jack-o," I slurred.

"I'm sure," Matt sighed as he and Jack dragged me up to my room.

"She's here, Jack," I said as I climbed under the covers of the bed, fully-clothed.

"Who's here?" Matt asked.

"Zooey is in Maryland, Alex," Jack reminded me.

"I don't give a fuck about Zooey, Jack," I said feeling my eye-lids grow heavier.

"Alex!" Matt hissed at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jack asked rolling his eyes.

"It's always been her," I said barely above a whisper.

"Who is he talking about?" Matt asked with a confused look on his face.

"Natty," I whispered pretending to fall asleep. I wanted them to leave so I could call her. I just needed to hear her voice.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Matt whispered.

"Yeah, he did," Jack said turning to walk out the door. "Shit."

Natalie's POV:
I walked into my apartment and kicked my shoes off. I walked into my room and flopped on my bed fighting the urge to scream. Instead, I sighed and reached under my bed for a small wooden box. Feeling the grain of the wood, I grabbed on and pulled it up to my chest. There was something so therapeutic about doing this. I hadn't in at least six months. It was time.

I got up from my bed and locked my door. Sitting back down, I slowly took the top off the box and reached inside. The first thing I grabbed were some faded pictures of three years ago. I was sitting on Alex's lap at the merch tent on Warped Tour. I looked so young. The next pictures were from our summer excursions: picnics, visits to D.C., trips to the zoo, etc. I fought back tears as I went through the box. Finally, I reached the bottom and found a small flask of Malibu and the silver bracelet Alex bought me before I'd left for college. There was heart attached to it. Remembering what he'd said caused literal pain to surge through my chest cavity. As I blinked, the memory came flooding back into my head.

"Natalie, you can't just fucking leave like that," Alex said raising his voice. I was trapped. He'd caught me at the park behind my house the night before I was leaving.

"I'm not taking this shit," I reasoned biting my lip in an effort to not cry. I got up from the swing I was sitting on and turned back to my house.

"I know what happened was unacceptable, but you need to know that it wasn't my fault," Alex pleaded running behind me.

"Don't try to fix this," I said quietly.

"Natalie, I love you," Alex said grabbing my arm. "Just hear me out." I stopped walking and turned to face him. With a deep breath, I opened my mouth to speak.

"What's the point?" I said keeping my face straight. His eyes grew wide and a look of hurt washed over his determined face.

"We have so much together, Nat. You can't deny it-"

"I'm going to be in Los Angeles for four years and you're going to be traveling the world. It was a fool's dream, Alex," I said trying so hard to keep my voice from quivering.

"We can make it work, Nat," he replied wrinkling his forehead.

"I can't do that," I said quietly.

"Don't do this, Natty," Alex said. I saw tears form in his eyes and he looked away, blinking profusely.

"I'm sorry, Alex," I said reaching my hand up to stoke his face. He leaned into it. A stray tear flowed down his face and I wiped it away with my thumb.

I smiled weakly at him as I turned around to cross the street to my house. As soon as my back was turned to him, I let the tears fall. Just as I was across the street, I felt a hand grab my arm, turning me around. Alex searched my eyes for something, anything. I looked down at my feet, unable to bear the hurt I'd caused him. Swiftly, he pulled my chin up and pressed his lips against mine as if it would be the last time. I was hesitant at first, but I finally gave in. I did love him, after all. He guided me two blocks to his house. A playful grin crossed my face as he pulled my arm up the stairs to his room.

Quietly, he shut his door and turned back to face me.

"I love you," I whispered from where I was standing a few feet away.

Within seconds, I felt his hands on the small of my back pulling me towards him. Carefully, he backed us down on his bed and started kissing the crook of my neck. Gently, I ran my hands up and down his back, slipping underneath his t-shirt. Alex lightly kissed his way back to my lips and tugged at the hem of my tank top. He pulled it over my head and tossed it on the floor. I did the same to him and ran my fingers over his chest. His hands found their way to the clasp of my bra and easily slipped it off. Smoothly, he flipped us over so that he was hovering over me. There were no words to describe what we were feeling so we just stared in each others eyes as I carefully rotated my hips against his body. Alex reciprocated me and I could feel him against my leg. Our breathing rates increased as I felt his heart speed up against my bare chest. I reached my hands down and undid the button on his jeans and pulled them down his legs. He maneuvered them off as he kissed down to my breasts. Alex's hands were on my hips, lightly tugging at my skirt and underwear. I followed suit. A soft moan escaped his lips as he pressed his body against mine. As we started, Alex was thrusting slowly, as if he were savoring every moment. His hands went over every contour of my body as if he were trying to memorize it.

In the dim moonlight, I saw his face. He looked so serene. I won't lie, it was the most intense and passionate sex I'd ever had. When we'd both finished, Alex collapsed on his side facing me.

"I love you so much, Nat," he whispered putting his hand on my hip.

I smiled and fell asleep.

Alex stirred a few hours later. He rolled over to the other side of his bed. Quietly, I sat up and slipped on my clothes. I grabbed my bag from the floor and walked toward the door. Before I left, I looked back at him. Tears formed in my eyes as I turned around, walked down the stairs, and out the door.

I hadn't noticed, but I'd been crying. Instinctively, my hand raised to my face to wipe away the tears. And just like that, it was all over. I placed the photos back in the box and shut it quickly. I placed it under my bed. I couldn't help but wonder if this would ever go away, if I would ever get over him completely. I sighed as I rolled over on my stomach and drifted into a deep sleep.