You Got a Way With the Way You Take Me
1/1
Hey there, it's good to see you again. It never felt right calling this just friends, I'm happy, if your happy with yourself.
--
Emma had always been a friend. Not a best friend, but a friend. She was nice to talk to, but I couldn't run to her with all my problems are anything, and most of the time when we did speak, it was lots and lots of flirting. So I never really knew what to call her. She had long red hair, bright green eyes, and a body to die for. She was really sweet to almost everyone, and I knew that there was a lot of guys after her. She was very demanding in relationships, as I heard from all her exes, so guys were scared off by that after the initial shock her the "pretty girl". I thought she was really cool. She took control of what she wanted, and she didn't really give a fuck in general. I liked it. A lot.
So I was more than a little excited when she invited me over to her place.
I was standing at her door, wearing tight gray jeans, and a plaid flannel shirt. My hair was a mess, and my hands were in my pockets. I rocked back and forth on my heels, waiting for her.
The door opened, and she stood there in a blue, lacy slip. She grinned at me, and let me in.
"Hey Alex!" She hugged me quickly, before gesturing for me to sit on the couch. She had a little apartment not too far from where I lived. "Sorry, I was going to get into something a little more appropriate, but I got distracted..." She shook her red hair behind her shoulder, and smiled. She was always smiling...
I smiled nervously. "It's alright. I mean, well.. I ... don't mind..."
She giggled, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "So, how have you been?"
"I've been good..." I started fidgeting, and pulling at my sleeves. "You?"
"I've been pretty good. I got lonely so I invited you over..." She shrugged, and sat beside me. "I hope you don't mind."
"No, no, if you ever need me... I'm here."
She smiled.
My head was screaming for her to touch me, and I tried to ignore it, but it didn't really work.
"S-So... Emma..." I started.
She looked up at me, her emerald eyes lined with mascara and eyeliner were wide. "Yeah, Alex?"
I just looked at her. I didn't even have anything to say. I was so damn nervous... "Um.. never mind..."
"Do you want me, Alex?"
Usually, when someone says something like this, they're trying to be sexy, or they're generally interested, probably because they "want" the person to. But when she asked, she asked it sadly, and stared at her feet, while clasping her hands in her lap.
"..U-Uh... Well. why do you ask?"
"Because that's all everyone ever wants." She sighed, still looking down. "That's all I'm good for, isn't it?"
"No..Hell no!" I shook my head. "You are a good friend, and a great person, and there's a guy out there that thinks the world of you.."
"How do you know?"
"Because I think you're amazing." I blurted out. "I think you're awesome, and fun, and I love being around you."
She lit up. "Really?"
"Of course!"
I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I truly believed what I said, and I really did like her, and I didn't want her to feel bad about herself. I didn't think it would mean so much to her.
"If you truly think that ..."
"I do!"
She pulled me close to her, by the back of my neck, and kissed me.
--
Take off your shirt, your shoes, those skinny jeans I bought for you, we're diving in, there's nothing left to lose.
--
As soon as the kiss happened, everything else did.
I wasn't thinking about much, except you know, how she would look pressed against the wall, or beneath me... or, on top of me.
She kept saying things like "I really like you, Alex." and, I just agreed, and said the same thing, and kept kissing her neck.
"I want to be with you, Alex."
"I want to be with you too..."
"I want you to be mine."
"I'll be yours, babe."
"I want you now"
And that, was pretty much the end of that conversation.
--
I used to wear you like a "ball and chain", I'd run and hide after calling your name, It was obvious,
You were too much for me, oblivious, I was young and horny,
--
I woke up the next morning lying beside her. She was still asleep, and looked gorgeous, with her red hair a mess, covering the pillow, and her chest moving up and down slowly. I smiled, then thought back on the night before.
I made that beautiful girl fall in love with me.
I sat up, and ran my fingers through my hair. She wanted to be with me, not just in a sex way. She wanted me to be her man. She wanted a relationship. I knew how she was in relationships, and it scared me. I really liked her, and all, but I didn't know if I had the time to deal with her always wanting to be around me, always wanting something, and if she didn't get it, I didn't want to have to deal with her being mad at me for it. I didn't know if I could have a serious relationship with this girl, as beautiful and awesome as she was. I just didn't know.
I got up, and found my jeans on the floor. I started to get them on, and I was doing them up, Emma opened her eyes.
"Morning..." She yawned.
"Good morning.." I smiled nervously. She grinned at me.
"Last night was amazing."
"Yeah..." I grabbed my shirt and quickly put it on.
"Are you leaving?"
"Yeah, I should probably get going..." I looked at the door.
"I just woke up.." She pouted. "Please just stay for a few more minutes?"
I looked at her, and I really couldn't turn her down, so I sat down in the bed with her. She quickly snaked her arms around me, running her hands all over me, and she pulled my head over, and kissed me. We fell backwards onto the bed, with me on top of her, and I knew where she thought this was going.
I pulled away. "No..Sorry, Emma.. I .. I can't..."
She looked confused. She sat there, twirling her hair. "Why not?"
"Because...we're not even dating..."
"That didn't stop you last night." She leaned in again.
"-And we won't be!"
She snapped back. "What?!"
"Emma, I don't have time for a relationship right now... I'm sorry... I just can't. You are a great girl though. There's a guy out there that is going to be lucky to have you."
I could see the tears forming in her eyes, and I hated myself for it. "You know Alex? That's what all of them had said. I thought you were different. You told me you were different. I believed you. I guess that was a mistake, huh?" She snapped, and pulled the blankets over herself. "Get out."
"I'm sorry, Emma, I-"
"Get. Out."
I gave her one last look, before turning and walking away.
--
In retrospect, I wouldn't do it again. Stop talking shit to everyone of your friends, I'm not the same boy you knew back then
--
"Okay, so WHAT happened?"
It was two days later, and I was talking to my friend on the phone. I sighed. "I told you what happened, okay?!"
"So, you hooked up with Emma?!"
"Yes."
"And then you shut her down, like, hard?"
"...Yeah."
"Well, I guess it was for the best.. Like, she isn't the kind of girl you can have a relationship with."
"...Well, I wouldn't say that..." I said slowly. "She just needs a lot in her relationships. Lots of people do."
"But you don't."
"Well, I could. I dunno.." I sighed.
"It really was for the best though. You should hear the shit she's been saying about you..."
Ouch. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. "Oh. What's she been saying?"
"I dunno, all this shit about how not to trust you, cause your a dumb ass heartbreaking worthless dickhead, and how she made the worst mistake doing anything with you...and more..."
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Well, I guess I deserved that.
"Alright... Well, I'm gonna go now...Peace.."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone.
Maybe, just maybe, I made a really huge mistake.
--
I'm gonna break down these walls I built around myself. I wanna fall so in love with you and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now, together we'll move on, Just don't turn around.
--
I called Emma's house god knows how many times. I left messages, begging for her to call me back, and nothing happened. She didn't call me, she didn't text me back, she never answered, she never did anything.
I knew I deserved it, in a way, but I wasn't quick to give up, so I drove to her apartment.
I was standing outside, banging on her door for what felt like hours. Either she wasn't there, or she was ignoring me. So I sighed in defeat, and left.
I tried to get in contact with her friends, so they could tell me where she might be, and what parties she was going to. None of them co-operated with me, convinced I was a total asshole, and I suppose, I was.
One of her friends, Amy, told me Emma was going to be at a party at her place that night.
"Thanks...Could I come? I really...want to fix things."
"Of course you can, Alex." Amy agreed, cheerfully.
"...Why are you the only one agreeing to this?" I asked curiously.
"Because I know Emma, and I know that she would do anything to have a guy like you, and because, I think you're sincere. I think you could love her, Alex. I really do."
"I think I could too." I smiled to myself. "Well, thanks. I'll be there."
"Alright, bye." She hung up.
I got dressed quickly, and got into my car, and drove to the address Amy had given me. I parked my car, and saw the other cars around me, and heard the music blaring from the house. I stuck my hands in my pockets and headed up the driveway.
There was lots of people at the party, and I didn't know where Emma was. I couldn't even find Amy. I was just hoping this wasn't all a joke, or a trap or something. I wandered around, asking for Emma.
Then, finally, I saw her. She was standing with a bunch of friends, her hair up messily, with strands falling into her beautiful eyes. She was wearing a green sundress, and looked ... amazing.
I walked up to her.
She looked me up and down in disgust, as she always did to boys who hurt her. It was her way of not being defeated. If she pretended like they weren't worth her, then maybe she would feel like she was worth them.
"Emma, can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, why the hell would I do that? You'd probably just tell me more lies." She snapped. All her friends were standing right there. I winced.
"Emma, please."
"Give me one reason I should."
"Because I know your sex noises," I muttered, and grabbed her arm, gently pulling her away from her friends. "Good enough reason?"
"No, not really. But fine, what do you have to say?" She crossed her arms.
"I never lied to you, Emma."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, well, I did once-"
"Mmhmm,"
"-But it was when I said I couldn't have a relationship. It was not you, and the fact that you're an amazing, beautiful, fun girl ..."
"Why would you say that, and then turn me down like that?" She pursed her lips.
"Cause I was scared shitless of you and all your drama." I said honestly. She rolled her eyes, shaking her red hair. "But, I realized, that's part of the reason why I fuckin like you so much." I smiled weakly. "I really, really like you Emma. I've been going crazy not seeing you. I mean that."
"How do I know your telling the truth this time?" Her eyes, once again, looked vulnerable. She was going to believe me.
I leaned in, and kissed her.
"I dunno..." I mumbled, when we pulled away. She was looking at with wide eyes, breathing hard. "It's one of those things you just know."
--
Lets the walls break down
--
--
Emma had always been a friend. Not a best friend, but a friend. She was nice to talk to, but I couldn't run to her with all my problems are anything, and most of the time when we did speak, it was lots and lots of flirting. So I never really knew what to call her. She had long red hair, bright green eyes, and a body to die for. She was really sweet to almost everyone, and I knew that there was a lot of guys after her. She was very demanding in relationships, as I heard from all her exes, so guys were scared off by that after the initial shock her the "pretty girl". I thought she was really cool. She took control of what she wanted, and she didn't really give a fuck in general. I liked it. A lot.
So I was more than a little excited when she invited me over to her place.
I was standing at her door, wearing tight gray jeans, and a plaid flannel shirt. My hair was a mess, and my hands were in my pockets. I rocked back and forth on my heels, waiting for her.
The door opened, and she stood there in a blue, lacy slip. She grinned at me, and let me in.
"Hey Alex!" She hugged me quickly, before gesturing for me to sit on the couch. She had a little apartment not too far from where I lived. "Sorry, I was going to get into something a little more appropriate, but I got distracted..." She shook her red hair behind her shoulder, and smiled. She was always smiling...
I smiled nervously. "It's alright. I mean, well.. I ... don't mind..."
She giggled, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "So, how have you been?"
"I've been good..." I started fidgeting, and pulling at my sleeves. "You?"
"I've been pretty good. I got lonely so I invited you over..." She shrugged, and sat beside me. "I hope you don't mind."
"No, no, if you ever need me... I'm here."
She smiled.
My head was screaming for her to touch me, and I tried to ignore it, but it didn't really work.
"S-So... Emma..." I started.
She looked up at me, her emerald eyes lined with mascara and eyeliner were wide. "Yeah, Alex?"
I just looked at her. I didn't even have anything to say. I was so damn nervous... "Um.. never mind..."
"Do you want me, Alex?"
Usually, when someone says something like this, they're trying to be sexy, or they're generally interested, probably because they "want" the person to. But when she asked, she asked it sadly, and stared at her feet, while clasping her hands in her lap.
"..U-Uh... Well. why do you ask?"
"Because that's all everyone ever wants." She sighed, still looking down. "That's all I'm good for, isn't it?"
"No..Hell no!" I shook my head. "You are a good friend, and a great person, and there's a guy out there that thinks the world of you.."
"How do you know?"
"Because I think you're amazing." I blurted out. "I think you're awesome, and fun, and I love being around you."
She lit up. "Really?"
"Of course!"
I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I truly believed what I said, and I really did like her, and I didn't want her to feel bad about herself. I didn't think it would mean so much to her.
"If you truly think that ..."
"I do!"
She pulled me close to her, by the back of my neck, and kissed me.
--
Take off your shirt, your shoes, those skinny jeans I bought for you, we're diving in, there's nothing left to lose.
--
As soon as the kiss happened, everything else did.
I wasn't thinking about much, except you know, how she would look pressed against the wall, or beneath me... or, on top of me.
She kept saying things like "I really like you, Alex." and, I just agreed, and said the same thing, and kept kissing her neck.
"I want to be with you, Alex."
"I want to be with you too..."
"I want you to be mine."
"I'll be yours, babe."
"I want you now"
And that, was pretty much the end of that conversation.
--
I used to wear you like a "ball and chain", I'd run and hide after calling your name, It was obvious,
You were too much for me, oblivious, I was young and horny,
--
I woke up the next morning lying beside her. She was still asleep, and looked gorgeous, with her red hair a mess, covering the pillow, and her chest moving up and down slowly. I smiled, then thought back on the night before.
I made that beautiful girl fall in love with me.
I sat up, and ran my fingers through my hair. She wanted to be with me, not just in a sex way. She wanted me to be her man. She wanted a relationship. I knew how she was in relationships, and it scared me. I really liked her, and all, but I didn't know if I had the time to deal with her always wanting to be around me, always wanting something, and if she didn't get it, I didn't want to have to deal with her being mad at me for it. I didn't know if I could have a serious relationship with this girl, as beautiful and awesome as she was. I just didn't know.
I got up, and found my jeans on the floor. I started to get them on, and I was doing them up, Emma opened her eyes.
"Morning..." She yawned.
"Good morning.." I smiled nervously. She grinned at me.
"Last night was amazing."
"Yeah..." I grabbed my shirt and quickly put it on.
"Are you leaving?"
"Yeah, I should probably get going..." I looked at the door.
"I just woke up.." She pouted. "Please just stay for a few more minutes?"
I looked at her, and I really couldn't turn her down, so I sat down in the bed with her. She quickly snaked her arms around me, running her hands all over me, and she pulled my head over, and kissed me. We fell backwards onto the bed, with me on top of her, and I knew where she thought this was going.
I pulled away. "No..Sorry, Emma.. I .. I can't..."
She looked confused. She sat there, twirling her hair. "Why not?"
"Because...we're not even dating..."
"That didn't stop you last night." She leaned in again.
"-And we won't be!"
She snapped back. "What?!"
"Emma, I don't have time for a relationship right now... I'm sorry... I just can't. You are a great girl though. There's a guy out there that is going to be lucky to have you."
I could see the tears forming in her eyes, and I hated myself for it. "You know Alex? That's what all of them had said. I thought you were different. You told me you were different. I believed you. I guess that was a mistake, huh?" She snapped, and pulled the blankets over herself. "Get out."
"I'm sorry, Emma, I-"
"Get. Out."
I gave her one last look, before turning and walking away.
--
In retrospect, I wouldn't do it again. Stop talking shit to everyone of your friends, I'm not the same boy you knew back then
--
"Okay, so WHAT happened?"
It was two days later, and I was talking to my friend on the phone. I sighed. "I told you what happened, okay?!"
"So, you hooked up with Emma?!"
"Yes."
"And then you shut her down, like, hard?"
"...Yeah."
"Well, I guess it was for the best.. Like, she isn't the kind of girl you can have a relationship with."
"...Well, I wouldn't say that..." I said slowly. "She just needs a lot in her relationships. Lots of people do."
"But you don't."
"Well, I could. I dunno.." I sighed.
"It really was for the best though. You should hear the shit she's been saying about you..."
Ouch. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. "Oh. What's she been saying?"
"I dunno, all this shit about how not to trust you, cause your a dumb ass heartbreaking worthless dickhead, and how she made the worst mistake doing anything with you...and more..."
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Well, I guess I deserved that.
"Alright... Well, I'm gonna go now...Peace.."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone.
Maybe, just maybe, I made a really huge mistake.
--
I'm gonna break down these walls I built around myself. I wanna fall so in love with you and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now, together we'll move on, Just don't turn around.
--
I called Emma's house god knows how many times. I left messages, begging for her to call me back, and nothing happened. She didn't call me, she didn't text me back, she never answered, she never did anything.
I knew I deserved it, in a way, but I wasn't quick to give up, so I drove to her apartment.
I was standing outside, banging on her door for what felt like hours. Either she wasn't there, or she was ignoring me. So I sighed in defeat, and left.
I tried to get in contact with her friends, so they could tell me where she might be, and what parties she was going to. None of them co-operated with me, convinced I was a total asshole, and I suppose, I was.
One of her friends, Amy, told me Emma was going to be at a party at her place that night.
"Thanks...Could I come? I really...want to fix things."
"Of course you can, Alex." Amy agreed, cheerfully.
"...Why are you the only one agreeing to this?" I asked curiously.
"Because I know Emma, and I know that she would do anything to have a guy like you, and because, I think you're sincere. I think you could love her, Alex. I really do."
"I think I could too." I smiled to myself. "Well, thanks. I'll be there."
"Alright, bye." She hung up.
I got dressed quickly, and got into my car, and drove to the address Amy had given me. I parked my car, and saw the other cars around me, and heard the music blaring from the house. I stuck my hands in my pockets and headed up the driveway.
There was lots of people at the party, and I didn't know where Emma was. I couldn't even find Amy. I was just hoping this wasn't all a joke, or a trap or something. I wandered around, asking for Emma.
Then, finally, I saw her. She was standing with a bunch of friends, her hair up messily, with strands falling into her beautiful eyes. She was wearing a green sundress, and looked ... amazing.
I walked up to her.
She looked me up and down in disgust, as she always did to boys who hurt her. It was her way of not being defeated. If she pretended like they weren't worth her, then maybe she would feel like she was worth them.
"Emma, can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, why the hell would I do that? You'd probably just tell me more lies." She snapped. All her friends were standing right there. I winced.
"Emma, please."
"Give me one reason I should."
"Because I know your sex noises," I muttered, and grabbed her arm, gently pulling her away from her friends. "Good enough reason?"
"No, not really. But fine, what do you have to say?" She crossed her arms.
"I never lied to you, Emma."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, well, I did once-"
"Mmhmm,"
"-But it was when I said I couldn't have a relationship. It was not you, and the fact that you're an amazing, beautiful, fun girl ..."
"Why would you say that, and then turn me down like that?" She pursed her lips.
"Cause I was scared shitless of you and all your drama." I said honestly. She rolled her eyes, shaking her red hair. "But, I realized, that's part of the reason why I fuckin like you so much." I smiled weakly. "I really, really like you Emma. I've been going crazy not seeing you. I mean that."
"How do I know your telling the truth this time?" Her eyes, once again, looked vulnerable. She was going to believe me.
I leaned in, and kissed her.
"I dunno..." I mumbled, when we pulled away. She was looking at with wide eyes, breathing hard. "It's one of those things you just know."
--
Lets the walls break down
--