Suicide Season

Oliver sat in my bed, still half asleep. He looked completely unaware of what he had just witnessed. I walked into my closet, shut and locked the door and turned the shower on. I definitely wasn’t hung over this morning but my head pounded with guilt, and anger. How could Adrien seriously think I would do something like that to him. Then it occurred to me why he might think something like that. I refused to talk about Oliver, I never wanted to talk about my past, and I was alone with him. All night long without answering my phone. Why wouldn’t Adrien think I cheated on him? I turned the shower off, deciding to wait until after Oliver left, and walked back into my room. Oliver was no longer sitting on my bed. I sighed, hit my palm on my forehead, and walked out of my room. He was just about to walk out the door when he looked up at me and stopped.

“Just going to duck out on me, eh?” I said, trying to smile. “You’d still have to face me at some point or another. We’ve got that meeting on Wednesday.”

Oliver walked back towards me. I met him at the bottom of the stairs. He dropped his coat to the floor, and pulled me into him. I felt his lips press to mine, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I kissed him back, knowing this was not what I should be doing. I should have been calling Adrien and begging for his forgiveness. Right?

“You’re insane.” I said when Oliver pulled away. I looked into his eyes, our bodies still so close. He still had his arms around me.

“Why do you say that?” He asked.

“Because Adrien is going to kill you.” I said, resting my head on his chest. “I can’t let this get any further than this with you Oliver.” I pulled away from him, and sat on the stairs behind me.

Oliver sat next to me. “Why not?” He asked.

“I just can’t. It’s too confusing for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love that you’re here. I’m so glad you’re back in my life again. But at the same time you can’t just come knocking on my door with my little sister in tow, and expect everything to be all flowers and rainbows. That’s a lot to take in. Not to mention I thought she was your daughter before you got here. And then there’s the Adrien thing. I have been with Adrien for three years now. I can’t just drop him because you’ve come back around. That’s not fair to him.” I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“It’s not fair to me, either.” Oliver said quietly. “This is the only reason I came to London to play at Noise Theater. I came to get you back. It was the plan the entire time. Everyone knew about it. Well, everyone in my band anyway.”

I lifted my head off his shoulder. “Did you seriously think I hadn’t moved on?” I asked. “It’s been three years. And we weren’t even a couple. Ever. You had some bet with those mates of yours, and then I left. You played me for a fool then.”

“But I told you I fell in love with you.” Oliver took my hands in his, and knelt on the stair below me. “I’m still in love with you.”

“Oli, I think you should leave right now.” I said furrowing my eyebrows. “I need some time to be alone right now. You’re making this too hard for me. I shouldn’t even be thinking about me and you. I really shouldn’t. I have to work on getting your band ready for this fucking show that you apparently don’t even want to play.” I stood up. Oliver stood as well.

“No, we do really want to play this show. But the biggest motive in this was to come see you. I wanted to see you. I needed to. Just to make sure that you were still alive. To make sure you were okay, and healthy.” He looked into my eyes, his autumn colored ones sad. I looked away in fear of giving in. I couldn’t give in to him.

“Please leave.” I said, my bottom lip beginning to quiver. I couldn’t believe he was going to play me for a fool again. What, was he going to try and get some discount on a place to play, or something? I couldn’t handle this right now. I was at the height of my career right now. I was in a pretty good relationship before he came waltzing back into my life. Oliver seemed to be a key factor in fucking things up for me.

“Will I be seeing you on Wednesday still? For lunch with my mum?” Oliver asked.

“I will text you about it later.” I said, shrugging my shoulders. Oliver stood for a moment. He didn’t say a word to me. He didn’t even move. If I wanted to be really bold, I would go as far as to say he hardly breathed. Finally he looked away from me, and walked to the door.

“Please, if just for mum, come to lunch.” He said before closing the door behind him. I walked upstairs, and sat on the end of my bed. I let myself cry, before crawling underneath my comforter and pulling the top it over my head. I didn’t get out of bed for the rest of the day. I slept most of it, and when I was awake, I just laid in bed.

I didn’t get up until I heard loud banging on my front door that wouldn’t stop. I got up, and slowly walked down the stairs. I didn’t want to open the door. I didn’t want to know who was on the other side. Honestly, I didn’t want anyone on the other side. I wanted to still be in my bed. It was a safe place for me.

I opened the door, and almost got hit in the face. Marina was standing there, a scowl on her face. I rolled my eyes, and walked away from the open door. Marina walked in behind me, and slammed the door.

“What happened?” She asked. “I’ve been getting phone calls all day from Oliver and Adrien. Both of them were blubbering like little babies.”

I shrugged, and sat on my couch. “Oliver showed up last night. He had Ember with him. I don’t know how he got her. How he convinced anyone to let him take her over here. He had her here. He left, he came back, we smoked some weed, had some beer, watched a couple movies and fell asleep. Adrien came in, all worried over nothing. Saw Oliver and I asleep, fully clothed on top of covers mind you and flipped shit. I was shocked that he would think I would cheat on him.” I was getting angry now. I couldn’t think of one instance, besides the Oliver instance that happened last night, that would make him think I would ever cheat on him.

“Oh come on! Why are you such a magnet for drama?” Marina asked. “Either way, you’ve got to talk to both of them. You can’t ignore them, or the issue here. Why don’t we all go to my house for a nice little meeting? You can go shower now, and look all pretty. Then we will go to my flat where James is already waiting with them.” Marina whispered the last sentence.

“What?!” I exclaimed, my eyes popped out of my head and my jaw dropped. “You went behind my back and set this up?!” I asked.

“Oh, Vee. Don’t be so dramatic. You can either go looking like you do now, or you can shower and get dressed before we leave.” Marina crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. I stood, and walked around her. I walked up the stairs, into my room, and walked into my closet. I took a pair of jeans out of the bottom drawer, and a t-shirt out of the top drawer. I changed my clothes, and put a pair of socks, and sneakers on. I grabbed a sweatshirt, and walked back down stairs. Marina was on the phone whispering to someone, and hung up as soon as she saw me. I grabbed a beanie from the coat closet, and stood by the door.

“Let’s go.” I said in a hushed tone.

Marina lead the way out, and to her car. I sat in the passenger’s seat and didn’t say a word the entire time way to the apartment. “What are you going to do about the situation?” She asked. I shrugged. “What do you want out of this whole meeting?” She asked. Again, I shrugged. “Vee, you’ve got to think about this before you go in there.” She sighed. “Are you done with Adrien? Are you done with Oliver? At this point it looks like you are going to have to choose one or the other. I mean, if you are going to mend your relationship with Adrien, then I think you will just have to see Oliver professionally and that’s it for a while. I know you didn’t do anything. But Adrien doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know Oliver. Hell, I don’t even know Oliver that well, but I know you. On the other hand, if you choose to leave Adrien for Oliver, remember that he has to go back to Sheff at some point, and his career brings him all around the world for months at a time.” Marina paused, and looked at me for a minute before speaking again. “I just want what’s best for you.” And with that, she opened her door. I followed suit, and opened my door as well. We got out of the car, and I followed her into her apartment building. It was quiet the entire time it took to get to her apartment.

She opened the door, and I saw Oli sitting in one chair, Adrien sitting in another, and Marina’s husband James standing in front of them, watching them. The both had spiteful looks on their faces, and I wondered what was said between them before I had gotten there.

Marina sat on the couch that was across from the two chairs, and patted the seat next to her for me to sit down. Adrien rolled his eyes at me when I looked at him. Oliver’s tattooed hands gripped the arms of the chair tighter as he tried to restrain himself from doing something rash.

I sat next to Marina, and James walked between the two chairs, and stood. “So, before we start I just want to say that there is to be no physical fighting at all, and I would like to avoid all verbal conflict as well.” She said calmly. “Now, Adrien, would you like to explain why you are so upset?” Marina asked.

“This bloke has ruined everything. Why don’t you start with him.” Adrien grunted, and looked away from us all.

“I asked you.” Marina said a little sternly. “What’s got you so upset?” She asked.

“He thinks he can have my woman just by looking at her. I’ve done my research on the fucker. He’s a charmer alright. Just like all the other nasty singers out there.” Adrien looked over at Oliver as he said this.

“Adrien, that was rude! Oli’s my friend!” I exclaimed, my bottom lip quivering. “I wouldn’t say anything rude about your team mates on your football team!”

“Bullshit! You have before! Don’t be such a victim, Veronica! You’ve got a big part in this too.” Adrien shot back. I felt a tear run down my face, and I looked down.

“Aye, cool off mate. This fucking meeting isn’t so that you can get all pissy and yell at everyone. You’re no victim either.” Oliver pointed out.

“Shut your fucking teeth, mate. I’ll knock you the fuck out.” Adrien said, looking over at Oliver again.

“Both of you need to quit it!” Marina said glaring at the two men in front of her. “Adrien, I know my cousin, and I know she would never do anything to hurt you. Oliver is simply a friend to her, and she had a couple drinks and watched a couple movies. Why do you have to make things so drastic?” Marina asked.

“I ain’t! She had him in her fucking bed! What the fuck am I supposed to think?! If she walked in on me sleeping in my bed with some other girl she’d flip out!” Adrien yelled. “Look, Vee. It’s me or him. Honestly. I’m not going to play around.”

I looked up at Adrien, then looked over at Oliver.

“Vee, you don’t have to choose. And I promise I won’t be hurt if you pick this asshole over me.” Oliver said, looking into my eyes. “I fucked up your life again. I’m sorry.”

“Shut your teeth, you fucking wanker! You shouldn’t even be included in this bullshit meeting.” Adrien spit in Oliver’s direction. Oliver’s face flashed pure anger as he stood up. Adrien stood, and started throwing punches at Oliver, but James intervened before anyone got hit, and held Adriens arms behind his back. “I’m fucking out of here. I don’t need this shit.” Adrien growled pulling himself out of James’s tight grip. “Vee, gimme a call sometime. You’ve got my number. And I’ve got yours. So I will call you if I don’t hear from you soon.” Adrien said starting to walk away. “You better sleep with one eye open, mate. I’ll be after you.” Adrien yelled, as he slammed the front door.

What had I done? Was this really my fault, or was this just Adrien over reacting? I put my head in my hands and let myself cry. Oliver walked to the bathroom to clean the spit off his face, and Marina and James walked into the kitchen. I knew this was a bad idea.