Status: Finished :)
Greyscale
1/1
I felt trapped inside a small world. A world of grays, a world of sameness. That’s why I wore the same socks, plaid ‘red’ and ‘purple’ knee highs. Most people laughed at me. Whatever, they didn’t know what it’s like to live like me. They didn’t know what it was like to be the freaky girl in art class. They didn’t know that I couldn’t even see the color of my hair, which apparently was brown.
Someone looked at me, “I like your blouse.” I smiled and said thanks.
“It’s so pretty, I mean with the pink flower and blue swirls.” I cringed at that, but then again, barely anyone knew about my eyes. So I said, “Yeah, blue is a very pretty color.” She nodded and went back to working on her worksheet. I sighed and picked up my pencil (which was supposed to be yellow, but looked like a whitish grey to me) and started to work on my Geometry.
“Class, put your worksheets in the tray and pack up your stuff.” I looked at the clock, it said it wasn’t time to leave yet! But whatever, I’ll be glad to see more grey tones other then Mrs. George’s math class. I picked up my messenger bag and put my junk in there. As I was about to walk out the door, Mrs. George put something on my desk.
Mandy,
You can skip going to the field trip today.
Mrs. G
That note alone, changed my life.
************************************************************************
As I went toward the parking lot and got into my car, I looked down at the note, just to make sure I was right. It was my last period of they day, so I guess that means I could skip. I smiled and went towards my white car. Most people my age want a red car (whatever that looks like) or something, so when I showed up in my white SUV, everyone thought I was weird. But whatever, I thought my car was nice. And my daddy didn’t have to buy it for me either, I got my daddy’s friend to custom make it.
Don’t think I’m some snobby jerk, I’m not. I am just, how do you describe it, treated differently. I mean it’s not a major deal to not be able to see color, it’s just inconvenient.
It took me years to realize that I was not normal. I always thought everyone saw like me, but when my mom asked me which dress I liked best, a purple one, or a blue one, I was blank. That’s when we went to the doctor and she said I am fully color blind. That’s when I was treated differently.
When the entire grade took a field trip to the Art Museum, I stayed home. When we went to art class, I went to music instead. Or when we were supposed to draw something, in color, I drew the grayscale. People always said I was different, but I just shrugged it off. I knew I couldn’t help it.
Driver’s Ed was always hard too, because I couldn’t get the colors on the signs, or the traffic lights. Well, after hard practice with Dad, I finally got it. But even that took some time.
I clicked the unlock button and slipped inside the car. I put my key in the ignition, I heard the rumble of the car, and I put it into reverse and drove away. I put the school behind me, and drove off into the sunset.
Well, not sunset just off to where my cousin Edna lived. She was like my second mother, hell, she was my only REAL mother.
I opened the car door in the parking lot. I walked outside of the car and into the park, there was a banner above me. It said, Happy Trails Mobile Home Park, I smiled, this place only meant one thing, calming music.
“Hey Edi!” I yelled from across the park, she smiled. She waved me over to the clothes line in front of her trailer. I ran towards her and gave her a big hug.
“Oh, easy there hun.” She motioned down towards her stomach, and I back away. She smiled and said, “Now why are you here Mandy?” I shrugged and said that I was here to do Art. She took me into the other room of the house. I walked towards the easel sitting in front of me, I smiled and picked up the brush and started to paint.
I know, this sounds really weird coming from a color blinded girl, painting, but hear me out, when I paint, I feel like I can sort of see the colors. I can feel what shade of gray they should be. I could lose myself in art, I could be someone else. Life could just pause for a few brief hours and live another life, a life not on a grayscale. A life where I could imagine a place filled with hope. I felt a tear roll down my cheek when put down the brush. It was a picture of me, a picture of me from a time before I became ‘the freak’ to myself.
“Hey, that’s pretty good Mandy.” I turned behind me, and I saw Josh, Edna’s fiancé. I smiled and took it off the easel and walked it over toward the drying rack. I shrugged and pick up my messenger bag.
“No seriously I mean it.” Josh’s eyes kept looking at it, I’ve been over Edie’s house so many times before that he know’s my work by heart. It’s usually people who are, um, disabled in some way. But, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t say that every time I showed them to someone they literally gaped at it for ten minutes (especially people who knew my condition). I mean, sure they were okay and all, but I mean I wasn’t some Van Gough. But whatever, everyone wants a compliment.
“Yeah, and who cares, it’s just another painting. It’s not like I’m gonna be discovered.” I said and walked out of the house.
****************************************************************************************************
Later....
I slammed the door to my SUV and walked up towards my house. It’s a pretty big house, and it’s really pretty too. See my Dad’s a very successful Endorsement agent. He’s the guy who actually found one the new Free Credit Score bands. Of course, that doesn’t mean anything to anyone else but our town, but still, it was pretty cool.
I grabbed the key ring out of my bag. I put it into the lock and turned it, and then, before anyone could see the paint splatters on my jeans, I ran upstairs. Too bad Mom was up there.
“Where were you at young lady?” She glared at me from behind her glasses. I shrugged and was about to walk past her, but her arm caught my shoulder.
“What Mom?” I asked with a little bit of an additude.
“Where you painting again?” I looked at her, I dropped my eyes to the floor and nodded. “God damn it Mandy! You know how we don’t like you to do that!” She dropped her book to the floor, it’s shiny color was taunting me.
“Why? Because of my eyes? Is that it? Just because my eyes are all screwed up doesn’t mean I can’t have a passion Mom!” I screamed, I tore my arm out of her grasp and ran towards my room and slammed the door. Who cares what they thought, it was their damn genes that gave me this problem.
I slammed my Geometry homework on the desk and picked up a black pencil and started to lose myself in Surface Area Equations. My eyes were welling with tears as I was done. I pulled out a History textbook and started on that homework. Then I saw a tear plop onto that page. I blinked a few times and then started to fall asleep. What I didn’t know is that while I was dreaming about what color might look like, Josh was changing my life.
************************************************************************
I stopped car at Edi’s house the next day, I felt the tears form in my eyes. I looked in the rearview; I saw another car where I usually parked. Screw them.. I slammed the door to my car, and I stepped outside and walked towards Edi’s, I heard someone talking to her and Josh, and then I heard them go inside. I jogged towards her house, grasping my pearls. I closed my eyes and knocked on the door.
A man in a suit opened in the door, I smiled, saying hello and asked, “Um, not to be rude or anything, but who are you?” He laughed, and he ushered me inside. I looked at him strangely, his big hands were pushing me hard on my back. I was pushed into the art room, where I saw Josh and Edi surrounding the artworks I’ve done over time.
“What’s going on Josh?” I asked. He just smiled and let the mystery man do the talking.
“Well, my name is George Franco. And I am an art agent, I try to get artists into big gallery’s and stuff.”
“Oh cool! But why is everyone smiling?” I asked puzzled.
“Well, I think we just might have a new up and coming artist, who’s paintings are going into my art show in New York next week.” And then I collapsed.
Life wasn’t always on a grayscale. Sometimes it had a splash of color.
Someone looked at me, “I like your blouse.” I smiled and said thanks.
“It’s so pretty, I mean with the pink flower and blue swirls.” I cringed at that, but then again, barely anyone knew about my eyes. So I said, “Yeah, blue is a very pretty color.” She nodded and went back to working on her worksheet. I sighed and picked up my pencil (which was supposed to be yellow, but looked like a whitish grey to me) and started to work on my Geometry.
“Class, put your worksheets in the tray and pack up your stuff.” I looked at the clock, it said it wasn’t time to leave yet! But whatever, I’ll be glad to see more grey tones other then Mrs. George’s math class. I picked up my messenger bag and put my junk in there. As I was about to walk out the door, Mrs. George put something on my desk.
Mandy,
You can skip going to the field trip today.
Mrs. G
That note alone, changed my life.
************************************************************************
As I went toward the parking lot and got into my car, I looked down at the note, just to make sure I was right. It was my last period of they day, so I guess that means I could skip. I smiled and went towards my white car. Most people my age want a red car (whatever that looks like) or something, so when I showed up in my white SUV, everyone thought I was weird. But whatever, I thought my car was nice. And my daddy didn’t have to buy it for me either, I got my daddy’s friend to custom make it.
Don’t think I’m some snobby jerk, I’m not. I am just, how do you describe it, treated differently. I mean it’s not a major deal to not be able to see color, it’s just inconvenient.
It took me years to realize that I was not normal. I always thought everyone saw like me, but when my mom asked me which dress I liked best, a purple one, or a blue one, I was blank. That’s when we went to the doctor and she said I am fully color blind. That’s when I was treated differently.
When the entire grade took a field trip to the Art Museum, I stayed home. When we went to art class, I went to music instead. Or when we were supposed to draw something, in color, I drew the grayscale. People always said I was different, but I just shrugged it off. I knew I couldn’t help it.
Driver’s Ed was always hard too, because I couldn’t get the colors on the signs, or the traffic lights. Well, after hard practice with Dad, I finally got it. But even that took some time.
I clicked the unlock button and slipped inside the car. I put my key in the ignition, I heard the rumble of the car, and I put it into reverse and drove away. I put the school behind me, and drove off into the sunset.
Well, not sunset just off to where my cousin Edna lived. She was like my second mother, hell, she was my only REAL mother.
I opened the car door in the parking lot. I walked outside of the car and into the park, there was a banner above me. It said, Happy Trails Mobile Home Park, I smiled, this place only meant one thing, calming music.
“Hey Edi!” I yelled from across the park, she smiled. She waved me over to the clothes line in front of her trailer. I ran towards her and gave her a big hug.
“Oh, easy there hun.” She motioned down towards her stomach, and I back away. She smiled and said, “Now why are you here Mandy?” I shrugged and said that I was here to do Art. She took me into the other room of the house. I walked towards the easel sitting in front of me, I smiled and picked up the brush and started to paint.
I know, this sounds really weird coming from a color blinded girl, painting, but hear me out, when I paint, I feel like I can sort of see the colors. I can feel what shade of gray they should be. I could lose myself in art, I could be someone else. Life could just pause for a few brief hours and live another life, a life not on a grayscale. A life where I could imagine a place filled with hope. I felt a tear roll down my cheek when put down the brush. It was a picture of me, a picture of me from a time before I became ‘the freak’ to myself.
“Hey, that’s pretty good Mandy.” I turned behind me, and I saw Josh, Edna’s fiancé. I smiled and took it off the easel and walked it over toward the drying rack. I shrugged and pick up my messenger bag.
“No seriously I mean it.” Josh’s eyes kept looking at it, I’ve been over Edie’s house so many times before that he know’s my work by heart. It’s usually people who are, um, disabled in some way. But, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t say that every time I showed them to someone they literally gaped at it for ten minutes (especially people who knew my condition). I mean, sure they were okay and all, but I mean I wasn’t some Van Gough. But whatever, everyone wants a compliment.
“Yeah, and who cares, it’s just another painting. It’s not like I’m gonna be discovered.” I said and walked out of the house.
****************************************************************************************************
Later....
I slammed the door to my SUV and walked up towards my house. It’s a pretty big house, and it’s really pretty too. See my Dad’s a very successful Endorsement agent. He’s the guy who actually found one the new Free Credit Score bands. Of course, that doesn’t mean anything to anyone else but our town, but still, it was pretty cool.
I grabbed the key ring out of my bag. I put it into the lock and turned it, and then, before anyone could see the paint splatters on my jeans, I ran upstairs. Too bad Mom was up there.
“Where were you at young lady?” She glared at me from behind her glasses. I shrugged and was about to walk past her, but her arm caught my shoulder.
“What Mom?” I asked with a little bit of an additude.
“Where you painting again?” I looked at her, I dropped my eyes to the floor and nodded. “God damn it Mandy! You know how we don’t like you to do that!” She dropped her book to the floor, it’s shiny color was taunting me.
“Why? Because of my eyes? Is that it? Just because my eyes are all screwed up doesn’t mean I can’t have a passion Mom!” I screamed, I tore my arm out of her grasp and ran towards my room and slammed the door. Who cares what they thought, it was their damn genes that gave me this problem.
I slammed my Geometry homework on the desk and picked up a black pencil and started to lose myself in Surface Area Equations. My eyes were welling with tears as I was done. I pulled out a History textbook and started on that homework. Then I saw a tear plop onto that page. I blinked a few times and then started to fall asleep. What I didn’t know is that while I was dreaming about what color might look like, Josh was changing my life.
************************************************************************
I stopped car at Edi’s house the next day, I felt the tears form in my eyes. I looked in the rearview; I saw another car where I usually parked. Screw them.. I slammed the door to my car, and I stepped outside and walked towards Edi’s, I heard someone talking to her and Josh, and then I heard them go inside. I jogged towards her house, grasping my pearls. I closed my eyes and knocked on the door.
A man in a suit opened in the door, I smiled, saying hello and asked, “Um, not to be rude or anything, but who are you?” He laughed, and he ushered me inside. I looked at him strangely, his big hands were pushing me hard on my back. I was pushed into the art room, where I saw Josh and Edi surrounding the artworks I’ve done over time.
“What’s going on Josh?” I asked. He just smiled and let the mystery man do the talking.
“Well, my name is George Franco. And I am an art agent, I try to get artists into big gallery’s and stuff.”
“Oh cool! But why is everyone smiling?” I asked puzzled.
“Well, I think we just might have a new up and coming artist, who’s paintings are going into my art show in New York next week.” And then I collapsed.
Life wasn’t always on a grayscale. Sometimes it had a splash of color.