Pandemonium

The first part of a story that's been raging in my head for years now, going through countless revisions. I'm aiming for a 'psychological thriller' of sorts.

I feel that it should be noted that the four main characters that will appear throughout are based off of certain events in my life and aspects of me as a whole. I've heard that this tends to be a bit taboo and can lead to 'mary-sueism', but character development is my biggest hurdle at this point so I'll roll the dice on that.

This is my first attempt at writing a little bit more 'professionally' as oppose to just scribbling incoherent ramblings in my notebook with a lifespan of about a week.

I would REALLY appreciate any feedback, for better or worse. I'm looking to improve myself, not be showered with praise. I'm a novice and aware of it.

Thanks in advance. :]