Status: Contest Entry
Delete
Part 1
Why am I the target? I am always made a fool of by everyone in this world. Why can’t I just fade into these lonely walls? These are questions one will never know though get smothered by for years. I want to go, I want to leave but I am being pulled back just to get screamed into my tear streaked face.
Leave me now, forget my existence if you can. I need to go, I have to leave before this becomes the scar of my life, the memory of my retched childhood. Wounded, inside and out, I cry for mercy! I am burned by the insults, crushed by the torture and thrashed by the abuse. I have been slowly shredded down to this one last shard of hope. I hope, I wish and I pray to be saved. I have to use this hope to stay alive and use it as if it’s the only thing I have left, because it is.
Then I hear a rapid beeping. A Text message. I know she sent it, I know it will hurt to look but I do anyway.
FIND SOME FRIENDS, LOSER!
How is that the small things hurt the most when piled upon each other so carelessly? I hate it so much I just scream and click, DELETE.
I am suffering alone with no one to hear my pleads of aguish. I sit on my bed at night screaming, weeping but still hoping. Screaming for my knight in shining armour to finally come and repair my heart. Crying for the words, the insults, the questions to disappear from my mind. Hoping for a new life, for a new school, for a new city, for a new world! This hope is getting smaller by the days, by the months passing. My heart is stretched and stabbed and bleeding deeply. My heart is crying for a savour and begging for comfort. Every word I’ve been told, be it a lie or not, is repeated through my heart, soul and body everyday. I have no solution but to face them, to fight my fear of the insults. And so the next day when I am pushed to the ground and screamed at, the words in my mind get stuck in my throat but I force them out into a whisper at first.
“Stop.” They stare at me in surprise.
“Stop!” I scream then jump to my feet. I shove my face into hers and yell,
“I’m tired of this! You have ruined my life but you won’t any longer, it ends now!”
“What are you going to do? Cry me a river?” She says with a laugh then back to her intimidating face. So I do the same; I make my face serious and strong no matter how hard my heart pounds.
“Only for you to drown in.” I reply. Her face cracks. Her true colors spill onto the floor and I leave without any more words. She never spoke to me again, only gave looks of hate that slowly faded into nothing.
This is my story and my advice to you; Don’t fade into the mist because that’s just what they want. Don’t give up on hope because it will always save you in the end. And at last, don’t be afraid of the words, insults and questions, just DELETE them.
Leave me now, forget my existence if you can. I need to go, I have to leave before this becomes the scar of my life, the memory of my retched childhood. Wounded, inside and out, I cry for mercy! I am burned by the insults, crushed by the torture and thrashed by the abuse. I have been slowly shredded down to this one last shard of hope. I hope, I wish and I pray to be saved. I have to use this hope to stay alive and use it as if it’s the only thing I have left, because it is.
Then I hear a rapid beeping. A Text message. I know she sent it, I know it will hurt to look but I do anyway.
FIND SOME FRIENDS, LOSER!
How is that the small things hurt the most when piled upon each other so carelessly? I hate it so much I just scream and click, DELETE.
I am suffering alone with no one to hear my pleads of aguish. I sit on my bed at night screaming, weeping but still hoping. Screaming for my knight in shining armour to finally come and repair my heart. Crying for the words, the insults, the questions to disappear from my mind. Hoping for a new life, for a new school, for a new city, for a new world! This hope is getting smaller by the days, by the months passing. My heart is stretched and stabbed and bleeding deeply. My heart is crying for a savour and begging for comfort. Every word I’ve been told, be it a lie or not, is repeated through my heart, soul and body everyday. I have no solution but to face them, to fight my fear of the insults. And so the next day when I am pushed to the ground and screamed at, the words in my mind get stuck in my throat but I force them out into a whisper at first.
“Stop.” They stare at me in surprise.
“Stop!” I scream then jump to my feet. I shove my face into hers and yell,
“I’m tired of this! You have ruined my life but you won’t any longer, it ends now!”
“What are you going to do? Cry me a river?” She says with a laugh then back to her intimidating face. So I do the same; I make my face serious and strong no matter how hard my heart pounds.
“Only for you to drown in.” I reply. Her face cracks. Her true colors spill onto the floor and I leave without any more words. She never spoke to me again, only gave looks of hate that slowly faded into nothing.
This is my story and my advice to you; Don’t fade into the mist because that’s just what they want. Don’t give up on hope because it will always save you in the end. And at last, don’t be afraid of the words, insults and questions, just DELETE them.