Build God, Then We'll Talk
1o
Did you know that it's easier to stop LSD than most other drugs? Also, did you know that LSD users get a lot of flashbacks from the nights they used?
Yeah, it bites.
Kirby's eyes snapped open the moment I screamed and he sat up quickly. "Anna!" he yelled. "Anna, calm down!"
He put his hands on my shoulders and stared deeply into my eyes with his dark chocolate brown eyes. I stopped screaming, but my breathing remained short and heavy with fear. I swallowed hard and tried to calm myself down by closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. When I had finally relaxed my heart and steadied my breathing, I opened my eyes to look back into Kirby's.
"What happened?" I asked slowly as I took notice of my own nakedness and Kirby's. I had no recollection of the night before. The only thing I do remember is walking into the party and knowing that it wasn't like any other party I had ever been to. I had no idea why I was naked, why Kirby was naked, or why we were in the same bed together.
A wave of guilt passed across Kirby's face and he bit his lip and nervously looked down. "Anna, do you remember anything?" he asked hesitantly.
"No," I answered, worry crystal clear in my voice. "Why?" my voice was shaky now.
He looked back up to me. "Anna, we had sex."
Those four words repeated in my head numerous times before the meaning to them finally kicked in. I felt my heart sink and my stomach drop all the way to my toes. My breathing shortened once again, and I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Oh no," Kirby said with sorrow. "Please don't cry, Anna. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to - "
"You didn't mean to what?" I snapped, my voice cracking. "You didn't mean to take advantage of me?"
"Take advantage of you?" he asked greatly.
"You don't think I wanted this, do you?" I growled. "I'm fifteen, Kirby."
Kirby looked hurt beyond belief at the first statement, but by the time I had said the second part, he almost looked pissed off. "I think fifteen is old enough to make your own decisions, Anna," he said lowly.
I knew his words were right, but I would never admit that. "Get out," I spat.
"Gladly." He threw his legs over the side of the bed and uncovered himself, then dressed. I avoided every bit of eye contact with him that I could, staring only at the ceiling as I tried to hold back the tears I knew wanted so badly to just flow out freely.
Once I heard him go down the stairs and out the door, though, they flowed for as long and hard as they wanted.
If I had known at that time what Kirby was about to mean to me in the near future and how much I'd lose myself after I lost him, I wouldn't have minded that he had taken advantage of me. In fact, I wish he were here now to help me through all of this shit.
So much for seeing him in heaven.
Yeah, it bites.
* * *
Kirby's eyes snapped open the moment I screamed and he sat up quickly. "Anna!" he yelled. "Anna, calm down!"
He put his hands on my shoulders and stared deeply into my eyes with his dark chocolate brown eyes. I stopped screaming, but my breathing remained short and heavy with fear. I swallowed hard and tried to calm myself down by closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. When I had finally relaxed my heart and steadied my breathing, I opened my eyes to look back into Kirby's.
"What happened?" I asked slowly as I took notice of my own nakedness and Kirby's. I had no recollection of the night before. The only thing I do remember is walking into the party and knowing that it wasn't like any other party I had ever been to. I had no idea why I was naked, why Kirby was naked, or why we were in the same bed together.
A wave of guilt passed across Kirby's face and he bit his lip and nervously looked down. "Anna, do you remember anything?" he asked hesitantly.
"No," I answered, worry crystal clear in my voice. "Why?" my voice was shaky now.
He looked back up to me. "Anna, we had sex."
Those four words repeated in my head numerous times before the meaning to them finally kicked in. I felt my heart sink and my stomach drop all the way to my toes. My breathing shortened once again, and I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Oh no," Kirby said with sorrow. "Please don't cry, Anna. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to - "
"You didn't mean to what?" I snapped, my voice cracking. "You didn't mean to take advantage of me?"
"Take advantage of you?" he asked greatly.
"You don't think I wanted this, do you?" I growled. "I'm fifteen, Kirby."
Kirby looked hurt beyond belief at the first statement, but by the time I had said the second part, he almost looked pissed off. "I think fifteen is old enough to make your own decisions, Anna," he said lowly.
I knew his words were right, but I would never admit that. "Get out," I spat.
"Gladly." He threw his legs over the side of the bed and uncovered himself, then dressed. I avoided every bit of eye contact with him that I could, staring only at the ceiling as I tried to hold back the tears I knew wanted so badly to just flow out freely.
Once I heard him go down the stairs and out the door, though, they flowed for as long and hard as they wanted.
* * *
If I had known at that time what Kirby was about to mean to me in the near future and how much I'd lose myself after I lost him, I wouldn't have minded that he had taken advantage of me. In fact, I wish he were here now to help me through all of this shit.
So much for seeing him in heaven.