Build God, Then We'll Talk
o5
I stared up at the textured ceiling, the splotchy pattern reminding me of how the stars looked that Friday night I actually tried the drugs. Everything before the moment I actually injected the heroine was very clear, very real, but as soon as the drug was in my blood stream, everything seemed to be blurry and fake.
- - - - - - - - - -
I hadn't talked to Megan since Monday, nor had I talked to anyone in that group. I avoided them as much as possible, but with a price. Since Megan wasn't sticking up for me like the day in the cafeteria, everyone seemed to take a liking to picking on me. I couldn't tell you how many times I had been tripped in the hallway, or pushed into a locker, or cut in the lunch line. Everyone treated me like I was the dirt they walked on.
It was Friday and I was waiting for the bell to ring when Megan turned around in her seat to look at me. "Okay, Chusettes, listen. I know we got off on the wrong foot last Monday, introducing you into drugs right away, but I just wanted to let you know there's a party going on tonight."
I cringed at the thought. "Why would I go to a party where I know there will be drugs?"
"To have fun. There's a ton of clean people there, people like you. The guys really think you're cool, they just want to get to know you."
I sighed, then finally gave in. "Fine, but the second someone offers me to shoot up speed or to smoke some coke, I'm out."
A wide smile spread across Megan's face. "I always knew you were cool, Chusettes."
* * *
Things had been going splendidly since we had come here. Megan's crew was there and they accepted me just as well as they had the first day I came to Darko's house, in fact, I think they treated me even better. Everyone was totally cool, too. Not one single person offered me any kind of drugs, but I won't say the same about alcohol.
"Come on, Chusettes," Kirby laughed as he plopped down next to me on the log that was set up as a seat around the large bonfire. "You haven't lived if you haven't been at least buzzed," he slurred, handing me a red plastic cup.
"Actually," I laughed. "I don't think you've lived unless you've been the only sober person at a party."
Kirby stared back at me with blank eyes, but a wide smile on his face. "Why would you wanna do that?"
I rolled my eyes and took the cup from him, taking a long drink. The liquid tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, making my taste buds tingle beneath the white drink. I don't know why I took that drink in the first place. A part of me thinks it was to impress Kirby, but another part of me wants to believe that it was just my curiosity, longing for a taste of the party life.
I coughed a little and handed the drink back to Kirby, but instead of taking it, he only held his hand up and laughed. "No, that's yours."
I smiled back at Kirby and was about to say something, but was interrupted by Pots. "Hey Kirby," he called, holding out the 'y.' Kirby grinned and slung his arm around Pots's shoulder as Pots landed in the spot next to Kirby. "Chusettes," Pots greeted, nodding to me. "So you up for a little party favor this time around?"
I bit my lip hesitantly. "I think I'm okay, Pots."
"Narrooow," he groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. "Why don't you like us?"
"I do like you - "
"But you don't want to have fun with us." Pots looked at Kirby. "She doesn't like us, does she?"
Dealing with drunk people is not easy. After the first couple of parties I attended with this group, I learned that you have two choices; you can give them what they want, or you can have the guarantee that you will be avoided and hated on the entire night. Being the new kid in town, I already wanted to avoid choice number two, which is why I gave into choice number one on this particular night.
"Fine, I'll come," I said as Pots stood up with Kirby.
Kirby looked at me like he couldn't believe the words that came from my mouth and Pots grinned from ear to ear. "I always knew you were cool, Chusettes. Now come on, time to go play with the horses."
Pots led the way, his arm still in a tight grip around Kirby's shoulder. My arms were wrapped tightly around each other as I followed behind the two. It seemed like all eyes were on me at this point, watching as I followed the two of the most popular people at this party to the old, broken down house.
Darko and Lee sat on the porch steps outside the house, sharing a joint with one another. They both lifted their heads for a moment as we all approached, then nodded in greeting as Kirby and Pots led me up the stairs. I could feel every inch of my body shaking as I looked at them for the final time as Anna and entered the house, receiving stares from everyone sitting at the round table in the middle of the kitchen.
As Kirby and Pots greeted everyone with nods and took their seats around the table, I awkwardly made my way to the seat beside them, blushing with the feeling of every pair of eyes on me.
I took my seat and looked ahead of me to the person sitting straight across from Pots, Kirby, and I. He had short, dark hair that was spiked in the back and died purple underneath his fringe. Next to him was a bowl of cotton swabs, a syringe, and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. In his hand, he held a lighter under a metal spoon, heating up some kind of liquid in it.
"Where didja get the syringe, homes?" asked the person sitting two people to the left of us.
"Muh grannys got diabetes," he explained with a smirk on his face. "I can always hit her up for a couple of these. She's a sweetie." The boy looked over to me when he was finished answering the question. "Who's your friend, Kirbs?"
"This is Chusettes," Kirby said lowly. "She's new."
"She lookin' for something fun?" he snickered.
"Back off, Jeremy," Kirby barked. That was the first time I ever heard Kirby ever snap at someone. The energy he gave off as he snapped at this boy made shivers tingle up my spine. There was something off about this kid, something mean and hurtful, but I couldn't exactly place what it was at the time. Oh, the things one can regret after it has happened.
The boy, Jeremy, smirked and stopped heating the liquid with the lighter. "Calm down, Kirbs, I won't hurt the precious little girl. Now, make yourself useful and hold this," he said, handing the spoon to Kirby, who carefully pulled it away from Jeremy all while glaring at the boy.
Jeremy picked up a cotton swab from the bowl beside him and ripped it apart and rolled it into a ball about the size of a tic-tac, then carefully, he set it in the spoon of heroin, making the cotton ball puff up like a sponge. Next, he took the syringe in his hand and placed it into the center of the cotton ball, sucking up all of the drug into the plastic tube.
Once everything had been sucked up, Jeremy looked at me with eyes cold as ice and an evil smile. "So how about it, gorgeous? You first?" he asked, holding the syringe toward me.
I blinked and looked over at Kirby, who stared back at me. Being in the state he was in, I couldn't tell if his stare was telling me to do it or not to do it. Nervously, I looked to Pots who smiled back at me and pushed his head forward, gesturing me to do it. I turned back to Jeremy who was still smiling. "I'd be honored to help."
I nodded and held my arm out on the table. Jeremy smiled and picked up another swab, dabbing it into the alcohol. He pushed my hoody sleeve up and ran his fingers up my skin to the bending point in my arm. He dabbed the cotton swab against it, cleaning it and preparing it. "Now," he said as he pushed the needle against my skin. "I won't hurt you, beautiful."
I gasped as he pushed the needle into my veins, but I was soon relaxed, my body feeling as though it were wrapped in the biggest blanket in the world. I looked from the needle to Jeremy and smiled back at him as I sunk into complete relaxation. Suddenly, nothing mattered. It didn't matter that I was the new kid, it didn't matter that everyone picked on me at school, it didn't matter that my parents were just divorced, and it especially didn't matter that I was high on heroine.
As Jeremy prepared another spoon for Pots, Kirby grabbed my hand and led me outside. We stumbled out the door together, laughing obnoxiously, like we were having the most fun in our entire lives. The only thing I remember after that point if laying down on the grass, staring up at the stars and watching them dance around one another. Sometimes they'd all black out, taking the sky with them, leaving Kirby and I the only ones left in the world.
As the music became louder, I could feel myself drifting into a deep sleep. When I woke up, I was scared to find I was back in my own bed, in my own home. and with the driest mouth in the entire world.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Anna?" My eyes flew open and met the eyes of the nurse who kept on bothering me. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" No, it wasn't you that woke me, it was the other person in this room who said my name. "Well anyway, we're having breakfast tomorrow at 8:30. Would you like me to wake you?"
I turned on my side, facing the wall and ignoring the woman in the doorway. Taking the hint, she finally left.
Solitude is such a wonderful bliss.
- - - - - - - - - -
I hadn't talked to Megan since Monday, nor had I talked to anyone in that group. I avoided them as much as possible, but with a price. Since Megan wasn't sticking up for me like the day in the cafeteria, everyone seemed to take a liking to picking on me. I couldn't tell you how many times I had been tripped in the hallway, or pushed into a locker, or cut in the lunch line. Everyone treated me like I was the dirt they walked on.
It was Friday and I was waiting for the bell to ring when Megan turned around in her seat to look at me. "Okay, Chusettes, listen. I know we got off on the wrong foot last Monday, introducing you into drugs right away, but I just wanted to let you know there's a party going on tonight."
I cringed at the thought. "Why would I go to a party where I know there will be drugs?"
"To have fun. There's a ton of clean people there, people like you. The guys really think you're cool, they just want to get to know you."
I sighed, then finally gave in. "Fine, but the second someone offers me to shoot up speed or to smoke some coke, I'm out."
A wide smile spread across Megan's face. "I always knew you were cool, Chusettes."
* * *
Things had been going splendidly since we had come here. Megan's crew was there and they accepted me just as well as they had the first day I came to Darko's house, in fact, I think they treated me even better. Everyone was totally cool, too. Not one single person offered me any kind of drugs, but I won't say the same about alcohol.
"Come on, Chusettes," Kirby laughed as he plopped down next to me on the log that was set up as a seat around the large bonfire. "You haven't lived if you haven't been at least buzzed," he slurred, handing me a red plastic cup.
"Actually," I laughed. "I don't think you've lived unless you've been the only sober person at a party."
Kirby stared back at me with blank eyes, but a wide smile on his face. "Why would you wanna do that?"
I rolled my eyes and took the cup from him, taking a long drink. The liquid tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, making my taste buds tingle beneath the white drink. I don't know why I took that drink in the first place. A part of me thinks it was to impress Kirby, but another part of me wants to believe that it was just my curiosity, longing for a taste of the party life.
I coughed a little and handed the drink back to Kirby, but instead of taking it, he only held his hand up and laughed. "No, that's yours."
I smiled back at Kirby and was about to say something, but was interrupted by Pots. "Hey Kirby," he called, holding out the 'y.' Kirby grinned and slung his arm around Pots's shoulder as Pots landed in the spot next to Kirby. "Chusettes," Pots greeted, nodding to me. "So you up for a little party favor this time around?"
I bit my lip hesitantly. "I think I'm okay, Pots."
"Narrooow," he groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. "Why don't you like us?"
"I do like you - "
"But you don't want to have fun with us." Pots looked at Kirby. "She doesn't like us, does she?"
Dealing with drunk people is not easy. After the first couple of parties I attended with this group, I learned that you have two choices; you can give them what they want, or you can have the guarantee that you will be avoided and hated on the entire night. Being the new kid in town, I already wanted to avoid choice number two, which is why I gave into choice number one on this particular night.
"Fine, I'll come," I said as Pots stood up with Kirby.
Kirby looked at me like he couldn't believe the words that came from my mouth and Pots grinned from ear to ear. "I always knew you were cool, Chusettes. Now come on, time to go play with the horses."
Pots led the way, his arm still in a tight grip around Kirby's shoulder. My arms were wrapped tightly around each other as I followed behind the two. It seemed like all eyes were on me at this point, watching as I followed the two of the most popular people at this party to the old, broken down house.
Darko and Lee sat on the porch steps outside the house, sharing a joint with one another. They both lifted their heads for a moment as we all approached, then nodded in greeting as Kirby and Pots led me up the stairs. I could feel every inch of my body shaking as I looked at them for the final time as Anna and entered the house, receiving stares from everyone sitting at the round table in the middle of the kitchen.
As Kirby and Pots greeted everyone with nods and took their seats around the table, I awkwardly made my way to the seat beside them, blushing with the feeling of every pair of eyes on me.
I took my seat and looked ahead of me to the person sitting straight across from Pots, Kirby, and I. He had short, dark hair that was spiked in the back and died purple underneath his fringe. Next to him was a bowl of cotton swabs, a syringe, and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. In his hand, he held a lighter under a metal spoon, heating up some kind of liquid in it.
"Where didja get the syringe, homes?" asked the person sitting two people to the left of us.
"Muh grannys got diabetes," he explained with a smirk on his face. "I can always hit her up for a couple of these. She's a sweetie." The boy looked over to me when he was finished answering the question. "Who's your friend, Kirbs?"
"This is Chusettes," Kirby said lowly. "She's new."
"She lookin' for something fun?" he snickered.
"Back off, Jeremy," Kirby barked. That was the first time I ever heard Kirby ever snap at someone. The energy he gave off as he snapped at this boy made shivers tingle up my spine. There was something off about this kid, something mean and hurtful, but I couldn't exactly place what it was at the time. Oh, the things one can regret after it has happened.
The boy, Jeremy, smirked and stopped heating the liquid with the lighter. "Calm down, Kirbs, I won't hurt the precious little girl. Now, make yourself useful and hold this," he said, handing the spoon to Kirby, who carefully pulled it away from Jeremy all while glaring at the boy.
Jeremy picked up a cotton swab from the bowl beside him and ripped it apart and rolled it into a ball about the size of a tic-tac, then carefully, he set it in the spoon of heroin, making the cotton ball puff up like a sponge. Next, he took the syringe in his hand and placed it into the center of the cotton ball, sucking up all of the drug into the plastic tube.
Once everything had been sucked up, Jeremy looked at me with eyes cold as ice and an evil smile. "So how about it, gorgeous? You first?" he asked, holding the syringe toward me.
I blinked and looked over at Kirby, who stared back at me. Being in the state he was in, I couldn't tell if his stare was telling me to do it or not to do it. Nervously, I looked to Pots who smiled back at me and pushed his head forward, gesturing me to do it. I turned back to Jeremy who was still smiling. "I'd be honored to help."
I nodded and held my arm out on the table. Jeremy smiled and picked up another swab, dabbing it into the alcohol. He pushed my hoody sleeve up and ran his fingers up my skin to the bending point in my arm. He dabbed the cotton swab against it, cleaning it and preparing it. "Now," he said as he pushed the needle against my skin. "I won't hurt you, beautiful."
I gasped as he pushed the needle into my veins, but I was soon relaxed, my body feeling as though it were wrapped in the biggest blanket in the world. I looked from the needle to Jeremy and smiled back at him as I sunk into complete relaxation. Suddenly, nothing mattered. It didn't matter that I was the new kid, it didn't matter that everyone picked on me at school, it didn't matter that my parents were just divorced, and it especially didn't matter that I was high on heroine.
As Jeremy prepared another spoon for Pots, Kirby grabbed my hand and led me outside. We stumbled out the door together, laughing obnoxiously, like we were having the most fun in our entire lives. The only thing I remember after that point if laying down on the grass, staring up at the stars and watching them dance around one another. Sometimes they'd all black out, taking the sky with them, leaving Kirby and I the only ones left in the world.
As the music became louder, I could feel myself drifting into a deep sleep. When I woke up, I was scared to find I was back in my own bed, in my own home. and with the driest mouth in the entire world.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Anna?" My eyes flew open and met the eyes of the nurse who kept on bothering me. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" No, it wasn't you that woke me, it was the other person in this room who said my name. "Well anyway, we're having breakfast tomorrow at 8:30. Would you like me to wake you?"
I turned on my side, facing the wall and ignoring the woman in the doorway. Taking the hint, she finally left.
Solitude is such a wonderful bliss.