Build God, Then We'll Talk

She hadn't lied; she did come back.

"Anna," she said with her usual smile. I sat cross legged on my bed, staring blankly at the hideous white sheets. I looked up at her and she was carrying something in her hands. She watched my eyes transfer from her to the tiny frame she held, then back to her. "I wanted to show you this," she began as she walked over.

I adjusted myself so that I was now sitting with my legs over the edge of the bed, as to make room for her. She looked almost shocked by my reaction, and I didn't blame her. She made her way over to me and sat down next to me, her weight making the bed creak ever so slightly. She smiled at me, then pushed the metal frame my way.

In the picture, there was a girl about my age. She had pale skin, plump pink lips, deep brown eyes, and long, chocolate brown hair. She was sitting on the lap of the nurse who know sat next to me, their arms slung around each other. The girl in the picture smiled back, her smile brightening the entire picture and making her eyes light up like a child.

I was stunned by this picture. It was almost the same as the one Kirby and I had - no. It couldn't be it.

"That's my daughter, Isabelle," she mused as she stared at the picture. "Sometimes we called her Izzy, because she was such a little rockstar." She looked over at me, and smiled warmly. "You remind me of her," she noted.

I blinked up at her and I felt my hands start to shake. I couldn't handle it anymore. I turned on my side and pulled open the tiny drawer on my nightstand and pulled out my own metal framed picture. I studied it first, making sure I wasn't just imagining the similarities.

Unfortunately, I really wasn't.

There I sat, in my yellow jacket that I wore over my red and white striped tank top, colorful bracelets running from my wrists to about the middle of my forearm. I wore a jean skirt and flip flops. I sat on Kirby's lap with my arm around his neck, his arm around my waist. Kirby was laughing at the camera and I was laughing hysterically about something - but don't ask me what. I didn't remember half of that night the morning after.



Weeks had gone by since the last time I tried any drugs. Those weeks had been filled with school, studying, and tests. I had started failing slightly in school, so I was determined to bring my grade back up, which meant no parties. But given the A on my last test, I decided that it was time to let loose a little, especially since we had a Monday off of school this week.

"Anna!" my mom called from downstairs. "Kirby is here!"

I grinned back at my dolled-up reflection in the mirror and grabbed my lime green bag and ran downstairs, my necklaces jingling around my neck. When I got downstairs, Kirby grinned at me and laughed. "Someone sure is bright!"

I took in his attire; tight black skinny jeans, a tight fitting black t-shirt, and a hoody thrown over his shirt. "Someone sure is dark," I joked back.

He smiled and looked back at my mom. "I won't have her out too late, boy scout honor," Kirby promised as he raised his hand.

My mom laughed and playfully hit Kirby. "I know you won't, Kirby. You always take care of her," she smiled. "Have fun tonight you two!" she called as she walked into the living room.

"Bye," Kirby and I said at the same time as we walked out the door.



Kirby and I walked up to an old, wooden house that looked spookier than one of those haunted houses you go to on Halloween. The shutters were mostly only hanging on by one hinge, the windows were broken and cracked, and the entire thing looked like it was going to collapse, and with the loud sounds of the music we could hear from all the way outside, it was probably a likely possibility.

We walked through the door frame - the door was missing - and into a room with vintage, red patterned wall paper. The music being played from a live band was heavy, with a low bass and a screaming guitar, and a good beat from the drums. The lead singer was jumping around, but I couldn't tell if he was on drugs, extremely wasted, or just excited.

"Pretty hardcore, huh?" Kirby yelled over the music.

I laughed at him. "Yeah, I've never been to one like this before."

Kirby smiled. "These are the best kind."

Suddenly, a familiar voice was next to me. "Chusettes! I didn't know you's was comin'!"

I turned to see Megan standing next to me. She was wearing a really short, black skirt with purple polka-dots. For a top, she wore a black corset with purple ribbon tied in X's on the front. On her arms, she wore arm warmers that matched her corset. She wore thigh high boots, and makeup that was too dark for her face.

"Wow, Megan... I didn't even recognize you," I said.

"Yeah, this is what I am outside of school," she laughed.

"Hm," I nodded.

Suddenly, a boy wrapped his arms around Megan's waist and kissed her sloppily on the cheek, then looked at me. I recognized this boy as Jeremy. "Hey cutie," he greeted.

"Hey, baby," Megan giggled.

Jeremy looked down at her. "I wasn't talk to you, whore." Megan dropped her smile slightly, and looked at me.

"Hi," I said shyly.

"'Sup, Kirby?" he asked. Kirby narrowed his eyes and wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me close. "Aw, I ain't gonna hurt her," he said as a reply to Kirby's actions.

"Fucking right you're not," Kirby growled.

Jeremy laughed and wrinkled his noise at Kirby in a teasing way. "Hey sweetheart, why don't you and your boyfriend come and have a little fun with us, hm?"

I looked over at Kirby, who was still glaring. "Okay," I replied.

He smiled back at me. "Alright. You take them to the room," he said to Megan, but still kept his eyes on me. "I'll go pick up Elvis."

He gave her one sloppy kiss on the lips, then detached his arms from around her waist and went into another room full of people. "Come with me, guys," Megan said as she spun around and headed for the stairs.

"Are these things safe?" I asked Kirby as he pulled me by the hand upstairs.

Kirby shrugged. "Let's hope so."

We got to the top of the steps and there was a long hallway, with three doors on the left and four on the right. Megan walked down the wooden hallway, the wood moaning under each step she took with her knee-high boots. She chose the third door on the right, knocked on it, then opened it and entered the room, Kirby and I in tow.

We entered the room behind her and she giggled and plopped down on the bed. "Hey Megs?" I asked. "Who did he mean by 'Elvis?'"

Megan looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. "Really, Chusettes? You've never heard of Elvis?"

"Like, the singer?"

She giggled. "No, babes. How about Superman?"

"No..."

"Lucy," she flipped her hand. "In the sky of diamonds?"

"Nu-uh."

"Loony tunes?"

"Listen, why don't you spare her the shit and just tell her what the fuck she's getting into?" Kirby snapped.

"Easy, easy," Megan giggled. "LSD, kid."

I made an 'O' shape with my mouth as Jeremy entered the room, carrying four pills. "Here, darling," he said, handing me two. "One for you and your 'Superman.'"

I smiled and took one pill between my thumb and index finger, then held out the other to Kirby, who grabbed it in his hand. Megan put the pill in between her teeth, and Jeremy took it with his, pulling it into his mouth, then he did the same for Megan once he had finished.

I smiled at Kirby and mimicked them. Kirby smiled at me, chuckled, then copied their actions.

The trip didn't start until about half an hour later, but I knew exactly when it started to take affect. I could feel everything at once; excitement, affection, lust, ecstasy. When I looked at the door, I could see the colors of the music making their ways through the crack in yellows, greens, blues, and reds. I could hear them, too. They were laughing and moaning and giggling and screaming.

I watched them swirl around everything in the room, and around the connected bodies of Megan and Jeremy. Jeremy pounded hard into Megan, causing an explosion of moaning color with every thrust. I could see the sounds coming from and wrapping around Megan as she moaned. When she clawed at Jeremy's naked body, she created rows of color on his skin.

Before I knew it, I was naked, too, and under Kirby, moaning the colors of the rainbow. With my back against the wooden floor, I could see the colors bouncing around downstairs through the cracks of the wood. The pleasure I felt was multiplied by ten and I could feel it along with every other emotion related to pleasure; ecstasy, greed, confidence, lust.

I could feel Kirby with every inch of my body. He was everywhere - on my arms, my legs, my toes, my fingernails, and inside me. I felt him under my skin, crawling all over and injecting me with doses of LSD. I felt insane, but on the greatest level a person can. It was so intense that it was practically another color separate from any other color on the spectrum.

The next thing I knew, I woke up in my own bed, in Kirby's arms, no recollection of the previous night.

And I screamed louder than the colors.



"Anna?" she asked as I wiped a tear from my face. "Is something the matter, sweetie?"

I drew in a shaky breath, and shook my head. I dropped the picture to the floor and fell sideways on my bed, pulling my knees to my chest. I began crying and sobbing heavily, but the nurse didn't know what to do. She came over and petted my hair off my forehead, but I jerked away.

"Honey, please calm down," she tried.

I kicked the blankets in anger and turned toward the wall, my back now facing her.

She sighed and sniffed, like she was starting to cry. "All right, all right. I'll leave you alone for now, but I'll come back later, okay? You're going to be okay, I promise, dear."

I'm not o-fucking-kay.