Fuel to the Fire.

“Do you miss it here?”
I stared into the ocean waves crashing down on the golden sand. All my cousins running around, my older cousins flirting with random girls and then Lauren with Nico in her arms. I felt the California sun on my legs, even though it was winter it felt like summer. I looked over at my brother, the sunglasses covering most of my face.
“I really do.”
“I think you should come back home.”
“Nah, not yet”, I said with a smile.
He just shrugged and looked back at his wife and kid the biggest smile on his face. I couldn’t help but to smile at his happiness.
“You’re really happy huh?”
“The happiest I have ever been.”
“Congrats brahhh”, I said moving my shoulder into his.
“Thanks, brahh.”
I just laughed before looking down at my phone seeing a text from John. I just shut my phone and looked forward. I felt my brother staring but I didn’t give in.
“Do you ever want to get married and have kids?”
“Nah”, I said with a laugh.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to get married because I think it’s really stupid, no offense”, I said looking over at him with a smirk. “It’s just a paper saying you can’t cheat and that you have to stay together. If you just decided to stay together without all that then you guys are together because you want to and not because you have to”, I said rambling on and then looking back at my brother who just nodded his head with a smirk.
“And kids, well I don’t want to fuck them up. Just being responsible for another life is too much to handle.”
“Why?”
“Because if something goes wrong than you’re fucked.”
“It’s worth the risk. I didn’t know I could love something as much as I love him.”
“I don’t ever want to love something that much.”
“You don’t want to fall in love?” he asked looking over at me his eyebrow going up.
“Nope.”
“Why not? You know you’re not a normal girl.”
“I know this brotherly love.”
“But why don’t you want to fall in love?”
“Because that shit is for pussies!”
He just laughed before getting up and running to his family leaving me there, in awe. I watched him hold his wife’s hand and kiss his sons face as they ran into the water and out. I looked down at my phone from another text from John; I slide it open and saw a I’m sorry. I just shut my phone and looked over at the bright sun feeling stupid for feeling this way. I opened my phone and asked him why he was sorry. And he just said simply For whatever I did to make you ignore me. I just rolled my eyes and replied that I was busy. I threw my phone back down looked at my brother as happy as can be. The reason behind me not allowing myself to fall in love.
I don’t want to get hurt.