Fuel to the Fire.

I looked down at the pile of notes scattered all over the place, my mind was in a daze with all this pointless information easy to find and the important shit was more like a buried treasure. You would think being Psychology major was something easier. College kids would take Psychology 101 as an easy A, but there’s so much more shit to learn from this. My mind was at its end. Thank god, Spring break was close.

“Still studying?”

“Yeah”, I said looking up from my lap top seeing Emma standing there with a sympathetic look.
“You need a break, you’ve been nonstop.”
“Well I got a B on my last test and I can’t stand getting another.”
“B?”
“Yes, I got a B.”
“You’re too much Dylan.”
“I’ve been told”, I said putting the computer to the left of me and looking up at Emma.
She came over taking a seat in front of me. Tucking her legs in and I followed suit looking over at her.
“I haven’t seen John around, where is he at?”
“The studio”, I said simply before texting away at my phone.
“Oh I see.”

I just nodded and saw he look down at her phone and text away, probably texting Jeff. They were constantly communicating. Always together and when they weren’t they would text or call. I don’t know if that’s love or obsession.

“So what’s going on with John?”
“I honestly don’t know”, I said rubbing my head, hoping the headache would magically go away.
“What happened at his little brother’s birthday party?”

“I met his family, was awkward and they probably hated me. It was fun after awhile and then once everyone left John and I stayed on the swings and talked.”
She just looked at me wanting me to continue. I took a deep breath letting the air blow out like a gust of wind making Emma laugh.

“He told me he loved me.”
“What?!”

She practically jumped up from where she was sitting making me jump back in surprise. I watched her smile on her face grow and then a little laugh come from those lips.
“Well he said, I think I’m a little bit in love with you.”

“Leave it to John to say he loves me but not really”, she said laughing. “What did you say?”
“Nothing, I just looked around looking for a way out. And then he noticed and asked me if I was thinking of a way out and I said yes but then his damn bike was in the way.”
“You actually said that?!”
“Yeah.”
“You’re adorable Dylan.”
“I don’t know why everyone always says that”, I said rubbing my face extra hard.
“Because you are, so stop! Do you not wanna be with John?” she asked and instantly the smile on her face faded into something way more serious. I always hated this look when it came to everyone.

“I do but then I don’t. Like were already together and I like what we have, I don’t want to like complicate it.”

“I understand, but I’ll let you get back to your studying.”

I just nodded as she gave me a hug and walked out of my room. I let the music that was playing from my iTunes just go on shuffle. Of course Pierce the Veil came on and not just any song but Kissing in Cars. I sat there singing along to the lyrics and just staring at my notes, all just looking a blur of letters.

“Second chances won’t leave you alone.”

I opened a new word document and made two categories, Yes or No at the top. I listed all the things that I liked about John. His humor, how nice he was and polite to my family. The way he laughed and his nose went up all crazy, the way he dances randomly. His music taste, even if his band sucks. The way he smiles and that instantly makes me smile. How he always makes me feel better no matter the situation and how safe I felt with him. I looked over at the only thing I put on the No side and just kept reading it over and over again as Vic’s voice sang over and over in my ears.

“There’s faith in love.”