Fuel to the Fire.

Birthdays were never a big thing to me; I always treated it like a normal day because it is. When I was younger my parents would always come into my room, cake in hand singing Happy Birthday in both English and in Spanish. Then my Mom would always make me my favorite food, well my favorite food at that point. I’ve always been an indecisive girl. Birthdays were always the hardest. I looked over at the picture of My Mom and I and I could feel myself wanting to cry but I just leaned over and gave the picture frame a kiss and listened to my family sing into the phone, the biggest smile on my face.

“I wish I was there Mija.”
“Me too Dad, my spring break just started. I’ll see you guys in a couple of days.”
“Okay baby, I love you.”
“I love you too”, I said holding back the tears in my eyes once more, I could hear my Dad doing the same.
“She would be proud.”
“I hope.”

We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. I looked down at the picture and just smiled.

“Hey birthday girl.”

I looked up and saw John standing in the doorway smiling at me with a handful of Daisy’s. He walked over to me giving me a kiss on the lips before sitting down next to me. I could feel him looking down at the picture frame in my hand.

“You get your looks from her”, he said with a grin.
“Nah”, I said putting the picture frame down and smiling over at him holding back all the emotions.
“Baby you don’t have to hold it in because I’m here.”
“I’m fine.”
“Why don’t you ever like to talk about shit?”
“I don’t know”, I said with a shrug looking down at my hands feeling uncomfortable, feeling that brick wall building up in front of me.
“Hey!” he said brushing the flowers against me.

I just smiled and looked over at him still rubbing the flowers against me. He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

“I love that smile, I’d do anything to see it every day.”

I leaned in and gave him another kiss, letting him slide his tongue against mine. He held my face softly, just kissing me tenderly. I pulled away licking my lips and just gave him a half hearted smile.

“She passed away when I was 11”, I said looking down at my hand.
“She was starting to feel really sick, always getting headaches and shit. Once day when I came home from school no one was at my house but my Uncle and Aunt. They told me my Mom was in the hospital, but I just thought it was nothing”, I said feeling his arm go around me as the tears started to flow out.

“When I got there I wasn’t even able to see my Mom, I guess she had a brain hemorrhage and then she was gone. I never got to say goodbye.”

“I really miss her, I think about her everyday”, I said still not being able to look up at him but just felt the tears falling down. “I just really miss her”, I said finally whipping the tears from my face.

I finally was able to look up at John and I saw that he had a tear in his eye. I just gave him a shrug and a smile before whipping my tears.

“But no more crying”, I said smiling and bumping myself into him before giving him a kiss.
“Why do you do that?” he asked holding me in place infront of him.
“Do what?”
“When things get serious you just stop.”
“I don’t know”, I said with a shrug looking down like I was in some kind of trouble.
“Hey beautiful, its your birthday lets be happy. Here Happy Birthday”, he said handing me the flowers.
“Thank you.”
“Come on.”

He grabbed my hand and dragged me out of my room and into the living room. Once I got to the living room I saw that everything was decorated in that tacky little girl birthday things. I just laughed and saw Jeff and Emma standing there with a cake.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

I couldn’t hold back the huge smile on my face. They put the cake down and grabbed me into a hug. We sat there eating cake for breakfast, the best thing ever.

“Well I got work, but I’m taking you out to dinner at 6. So your cute ass better be ready”, John said getting up and giving me a kiss.
“I will, I will”, I said giving him a kiss.
“Happy birthday beautiful.”
“Thank you.”

He waved at Emma and Jeff before walking out the door. They both gave me a look but I just laughed and walked back into my room to sleep some more. Once I woke up I was in rush mode to get ready to go to dinner. I hurried and grabbed a skirt and a white tank top. Did my hair, putting a little pink flower in my ear, I always hated my hair. I stared at my black locks, the natural curls looking a hot mess. I was putting on my pink flats when John walked through the door smiling at me.

“Hey beautiful birthday girl.”
“Hey”, I said rushing over to put earing through my plugs.
“Didn’t wake up from your nap in time huh?”

I looked over at him and gave him a guilt smile making him laugh. I walked over to him giving him a soft kiss and then grabbing my jacket. Then I finally got to look John up and down, his tight black jeans and the black v neck. A white jacket under a black leather jacket, his hair actually brushed out and nice.

“You look beautiful”, he said grabbing my waist pulling me into him.
“You look really handsome”, I said pulling on his jacket.

I felt his hand wonder up my body before staying in place on my lower back pulling me into him. I looked up at him with a smile before he leaned in and kissed my lips softly. Our heads tilting as the kiss got more intense. He pulled away with my bottom lip in between his teeth.
“We should go before I get a boner.”

I just blushed at his comment before playfully smacking him. He gave me a wink and then took my hand into his and took me out to the car. Once we got in the car and passed the iPod to me with a smile. He was such a control freak when it came to his car; I was never able to pick the songs I wanted. I just laughed and took it in my hand putting on some music, singing as he drove off to wherever we were going to eat. We ended up at this Italian restaurant. We got seated and ordered, and all we could do was talk. Talk about everything, exchanged kisses every now and then. After we ate our food we sat in the car stuffed and feeling fat.

“I think I gained about 20 pounds.”
“Good, you need some weight on them bones.”
“No I don’t. You do, skinny Minnie!”
“Leave my amazing figure alone”, he said looking over at me with a smile.

I just laughed and looked over at him with a smile. He leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on my lips, before pulling away and reaching in his back seat. He pulled out a bag and handed it to me with a smile. I took the bag staring at it in pure confusion.

“Open it! Open it!”

“John, please tell me you didn’t buy me something.”
“Open it before I do it for you.”

I just laughed and opened up the bag and looked in and then looked back at John. He looked at me with a big smile before I pulled it out of the bag. I looked at the Polaroid camera that I wanted but when I went back to the vintage store it was gone. I gave John a look and he just kept on with the smile he had on his face.

“I know how much you wanted it so I went back and bought it for you.”
I just stared down at the camera with no emotion on my face, the smile whipped away. I could see in the corner of my eye a very disappointed face.
“You don’t like it?”

I looked away from the camera and had my full focus on John. I leaned in and gave him a kiss, pressing my lips against his hard before pulling away. He looked at me with a smirk, still kind of confused on what was going on with me.

“I love it.”

I reached over to him giving him another kiss before pulling away and driving away. We ended up at his house; I gave him a look feeling weird to be going to his house.
“I forgot the film for the camera.”

“You got me film too; you know how much that shit costs?”
“A lot”, he said with a laugh.

I got out of the car and walked behind him, following him up the steps and onto the porch. He opened the door that led into a dark room and once the lights were turned on shouts were heard and silly string was being shot in my face. My heart stopped beating for a second before I noticed everyone standing there yelling and cheering. I covered my face before John took my hands from my face with a laugh.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

I just let them all grab me into hugs, singing and dancing around me. My face was beyond red and I couldn’t even stand right. After all the craziness and I was able to get stable I gave them all proper hugs. Once that was all done, everyone went back to drinking. I watched them all dancing and singing to me. Got a lap dance and then flashed. It was a success. I looked over at a quiet John just sitting there, I brushed my shoulder into his and he smiled at me before grabbing my hand and leaning over to my ear pressing his lips against it.

“Having fun?”
“Yeah”, I said smiling at him. “Thank you for all this, you really didn’t have to.”
“You deserve more.”
“Why?” I asked with a laugh.
“You’re amazing Dylan. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Felt like what?”

“Complete”, he said simply before looking away and taking a drink of his beer.
I looked over at him, still waiting for a longer reasonable answer. He felt me staring and he just stared at me with a smile.

“What?”
“How do I make you feel complete?”
“You make me happy. I’ve never felt like this about another girl, like I said before I’m in love with you.”
“You never said that.”
“Well then, I’m saying it now. I’m in love with you Dylan Gomez.”
“John I-“
“Dylan I can hear your heart, you love me too.”

I just gave him a look before rolling my eyes and getting up and walking over to Emma. She grabbed me into her and starting to dance on me making me laugh. I looked over at a gloomy John sitting there just staring intensely at me. Then I watched him get up and walk outside. I stood there having an argument with my head and my heart. My head telling me to stay put but my heart telling me to walk outside and talk to him. My head won, I stood in place. Finally I saw him walk back inside with Eric and Max attached to him. I gave Emma and Cassie a fake smile pretending like I was listening to what they were saying, when in all honesty my attention was fully on John talking to all the guys drinking more; but its not like they were sober enough to notice.

“Why must you always look so cute!”

I looked over at Amelia who was just standing there with her arms crossed and a shocked expression. I just laughed and grabbed her into a hug.
“You’re the cute one darling.”
“She is, isnt she?”

I looked over at saw Jared with the biggest smile on his face. He wrapped and arm around her, kissing her cheek softly. I watched her give him a big smile and then lean in and kiss. I stood there awkwardly, looking away from the cute couple in front of me and looked around at everyone.

“Whats wrong with John?”

“I don’t know”, I said looking at Garrett with a shrug.

I looked over once more at John sitting on the couch looking around, beer in hand. Finally I made my way over to him, taking a seat awkwaly next to him. He looked over at me with a smile and then looked forward. I looked around feeling awkward before putting my hand on his thigh. He looked over at me with a weird look, the awkwardness just increased.

“Can I have a kiss?”

He just nodded and leaned over and gave me a soft peck. He pulled away inches away from my face and I gave him a pout. He leaned in and gave me another kiss, still with that unhappy face he was sporting. He pulled away again and then leaned in giving me another kiss. I felt his hands cupping my face as the kiss deepened. We finally pulled away from each other; he just gave me a little sad smile before getting up and walking to his friends. I sat there feeling confused and just wanting to go home and sleep this all away. I watched as John drank up, dancing around and being the normal John. He took a seat next to me, drunk and obnoxious.

“Why don’t you love me?”

“I don’t believe in love.”