Fuel to the Fire.

“You have the cutest ears I have ever seen.”
“No, they’re huge.”

I just laughed looking at an very awkward Pat cover his ears once again, pushing my hand away from him.

“Yeah, look at those things. I’m surprised he can’t fly away”, Garret said with a laugh.
“Awwh leave Pat alone.”
“Amelia, can you not say that his ears are huge?” Jared asked his girlfriend with a laugh.
“Well theyre not that big.”
“Bullshit! They’re huge!”

I looked over at Pat who was covering his ears even more. I leaned over to him kissing his cheek.

“I think your ears are cute”, I said in a whisper.

He looked over at me with a surprised look on his face, but I just gave him a smile an wrapped my arm around him looking up at John who just smiled down at us as he strummed his guitar.

“You’re like the little brother I never had”, I said giving Pat another tight hug and then pinching his cheeks.

“Ow that hurts.”
“Man up bitch!” Amelia said making us all crack up.

I looked up at John and saw him staring at me intensely, still strumming that damn guitar. Later that night we all went over to Jared’s house, of course I had to be the only girl there. Both Amelia and Theresa had work and Emma was busy with Jeff. I sat there in Jared’s backyard, a bonfire blazing hot. I sat there, legs pulled into me. Being so drunk that we had to nominate someone to stand up and get us more beers.

“It’s chill if John and I spend the night right ginger love?”
“Of course Messsican, you can sleep in the guest room. Just no sex.”
“I can’t promise you that”, John said out of nowhere giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

I just laughed and slapped John’s shoulder. I looked around at the cock fest that was surrounding me, John’s arm around me holding me close as though the drunk males were going to attack me. I reached over grabbing the beer from Max, the only somewhat sober person in the place. We all sat around talking shit about everyone, I mostly just sat there silent. I looked over at Jared and Dave grabbing a guitar strumming it softly listening to everyone screaming out random lyrics from random songs.

“We’ve all been fucked up. We’ve all been degraded”, John sang putting an arm around me.
“We all have been degraded”, everyone sang laughing.
“We all have been the greatest.”

I looked over at John smiling down at me and then I looked over at Jared putting his arm around me making me laugh as we sang the two lines over and over again as they played some random chord on the guitar. I leaned into John and he looked down at me and placed his lips against mine, giving me a soft kiss.

“I will never forget this.”

I gave him a smirk, knowing damn well he was too drunk to remember anything that might have happened tonight. I just gave him a kiss before handing him another beer.

“So how did you do on the test you were freaking out about?”
“I got an A.”
“I told you, you were going to pass that shit.”

I took out my keys and unlocked my car, I still saw it in the distant and it seemed like it was getting further and further away. I looked over at Luke and smiled, we were finally off work and I was able to go home and rest.

“Bye!”

I waved him off before going into my car and driving back home. Finally I was able to just sit down and be lazy. I stripped down into my shorts and a tank top and just laid on the couch with Emma talking shit about everyone and anyone that was on TV. Then we heard a knock, I already knew it was John, I watched the door open and saw him standing there with a smile.

“We got your mail again”, he said holding up the envelopes and magazines.
“Thank you.”

We walked in putting down the envelopes on the table. He leaned over and gave me a kiss and then sat down next to me. Immediately I saw Emma reach over for the mail placing the stack in her lap.

“How was work?”
“Sucked”, I said simply laying my head on him.
“Why?”
“It’s work.”
“That is true”, he said with a laugh kissing my noise.
“What is this?”

I looked over at Emma and she was holding a package, I saw the UCLA symbol on it. I felt John reach over taking the package in his hand and looking down at it and then back at me waiting for a response.

“I applied.”

They both just looked at each other and then back at me. I felt uncomfortable with their eyes on me. I just looked at the package and opened the top; I felt both of their eyes burning into me. I pulled the letter out and read it through and then put it down. They both looked at me.

“So?”
“I got accepted.”
“Are you fucking going?”

I got thrown off by John’s sudden outburst. He scooted way from me, making sure we weren’t touching. I looked over at Emma and she was just as shocked.

“I’ll let you guys talk”, she said standing up.
I gave her that look; I really didn’t want her to leave me with this situation. She walked past us and went straight to her room. Thanks a lot. I looked over at John who looked pissed off.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I didn’t think I’d get in and they offered the full ride scholarship. They have an amazing Psychology program.”
“You’re fucking going to leave!”

I watched him stand up running his hands through his hair. This was all too much to handle, I didn’t understand why he was acting this way. I watched him pace from back to forth.

“I still have to think about it.”
“Just fucking go then. You obviously could give a fuck about me and how this would affect me?!”
“John.”
“This is bullshit, you don’t even like LA. Why the fuck are you leaving? Is it because I’m going on tour for summer, you can fucking come with us. Just don’t fucking leave.”
“Please just stop.”
“Why?!”
“I didn’t fucking do anything, why are you reacting this way? I think I’m allowed to do whatever the fuck I want. I applied to school and got in. Yeah, mostly likely I’m going to go but it’s still not finalized. But they way you’re acting its making my decision easier!”
“You didn’t think to talk to me about it first?”
“Why? You’re not my boyfriend John. We agreed we’re friends, you’re the one who brought up the rules. I’m just obeying the rules you set in stone.”

“That’s complete bullshit Dylan and you know it. You’re the fucking one that said no relationships. Every fucking time I asked you to make it official youre the one who fucking said no. When I fucking told you I loved you I got nothing! I don’t need this shit, I cant be just your friend so I rather not even be that”, he said walking towards the door.

I felt myself get up and tried to walk over to him but instead all I got was a door slammed to my face. I stood there shocked and in an tidal wave of emotion.
“You okay?”

I turned around unable to see from the tears streaming down my face. I whipped it all off and looked over at Emma with a smile and then nodded my head. She grabbed me into a hug rubbing my back, just letting my cry but nothing was coming out.

“Congratulations”, she said in my ear still rubbing my back.
“Thank you”, I said with a little laugh.

She pulled away from me and then gave me another hug before we sat down and talked. I couldn’t sleep that night, another argument between my heart and my head kept me from sleep. I laid in my bed just looking up weighing out the options. Finally I got up and grabbed my computer, making out the list once again. Arizona and then California, I looked at both sides all even. Then I added something on both side and I made my decision.
Goodbye Arizona, Hello California.