Because Of You

It was already 8 PM and Rachel was beginning to get tired. Tammy couldn’t get a hold of Rachel’s dad for some reason, leaving Rachel to be the last child at the YMCA.

“Hey Tammy. If you want I can take Rachel home with me. If her dad show’s up you can give him my number and my address number so he can get her. Face it, her dad isn’t coming. He probably got caught up with something and Rachel would start crying if she went with someone else.”

Tammy looked up at me. “Okay. That is true. You’ve done a good job with her. Thank you for all of your help. Just write down your address, we already have your number. Maybe if Rachel becomes a regular you can automatically get her.” I smiled at Tammy and nodded. “See you later Isabella.”

I went into the other room where Rachel was busy coloring. She stopped coloring once she saw me enter the room. I bent down and opened my arms again. She let out a small laugh and ran into my open arms. “How are you doing Babygirl?”

“I’m getting hungry.” She mumbled into my shirt.

“Do you want me to get you something to eat then?” She nodded and grabbed all of her papers before she came back over to me. “Okay let’s go.” I walked out of the YMCA with Rachel holding my hand. It felt so weird but so right. I felt like a mom. Her mom. If anything ever happened to Rachel I would lose it. I never wanted her to get hurt. I wanted the best for her. I wanted to be her mom. A loud sigh escaped from me, I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

Rachel started walking slower. I looked down at her. “You getting tired Babygirl?” She nodded, half awake. I laughed as I put her papers into my bag and picked her up and carried her to McDonalds. Her little arms wrapped themselves around my neck and legs wrapped themselves around my waist. I barely know this little girl. But I love her so much already.

“Hi what can I get you?” The girl working behind the counter asked with a smile.

“Hold on one second please. Babygirl?” Rachel looked at me, “What do you want?”

She looked at the pictures on the menu, “Mommy I want Chicken Mcnuggets please.” My heart raced when she called me Mommy.

“Oh that’s your daughter? She’s so cute.” I tried telling them that she wasn’t but she kept talking about her. “She’s so adorable and she looks just like you.” Umm she’s just saying that because she called me Mommy. “Oh sorry about getting carried away. What can I get for the lovely Mother and Daughter?”

I laughed away the awkwardness and placed our orders. Before we left, her and a few other employee’s called out, “Have a good night! I bet you’re such a good mother.”

I sighed as I walked home, food in one hand, my other hand holding Rachel up. Throughout the whole neighborhood I received comments from many people saying how adorable Rachel was and how alike we looked.

Thoughts running around wild in my head. This can’t be right. She’s just a little girl that calls you ‘Mommy’. That’s all. You just met her today. But you already fricken love her. Damn it! The good and bad side of me argued for awhile until we got home.

I kicked open the door and gently laid Rachel down on the couch. I grabbed a blanket out from the closet and gave it to her. Once she was finished eating she tugged on my shirt. “Hold on Babygirl, I’m setting up your bubble bath.” Knowing what she would say I answered her unspoken question. “Don’t worry, you can wear one of my bigger shirts and it could be like a night gown. I have some new underwear I never used when I was little so don’t worry, okay?” I patted her head and was about to walk out of the bathroom when she tugged on my shirt again.

“Don’t leave please Mommy.” I smiled at her and sat on the toilet as she took her bath.

“How old are you Babygirl?”

She was playing with the bubbles when she answered. “I’m 4 years old.” She said holding up five fingers. I smiled and put down one finger.

“That’s four. You were holding up five babygirl.” She laughed saying ‘oppsies.’

I grabbed a new towel for her to get cleaned up with and passed her my clothes. “I’ll be right outside while you change, okay?” She gave me a worried look. “Don’t worry, if you need me I’ll be right outside. I promise.” I said as I kissed her forehead and let her change and brush her teeth. She knocked on the door before she came out of the bathroom. “You can go lie down while I get ready for bed. What’s wrong?” I noticed she was looking sad again.

“Is it okay if I sit in here like you did? I don’t want to be alone.”

I kissed her forehead before nodding and getting into the shower. I started humming and before I knew it, Rachel had fallen asleep on top of the sink counter. I laughed and finished getting ready for bed. “C’mon Babygirl. You can sleep with me tonight.” Rachel, half asleep just nodded and held onto me as I carried her to my bed.

“Can you read me a bedtime story Mommy? Please. One with a happy ending.” I couldn’t let her down.

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess and her name was Rachel.” She smiled and pointed to herself, “That’s me!” I smiled and continued.

“Rachel and her Daddy were a happy family together. But they were very lonely without a Mommy--”

“But you’re my mommy,” she interrupted.

I sighed and got lost in my fantasy’s. “One day Daddy went to get something to eat. Inside, he saw a pretty lady. He made it his mission to make sure he could bring this nice lady to his little Rachel so she could have her own Mommy--” I looked down at Rachel and noticed she had already fallen asleep.

“Good night Babygirl.” I kissed her forehead one more time before lying down next to her.

Her voice was softer than a whisper, “Good night Mommy.” It was wrong. But it felt so right. I shouldn’t live in my fantasy’s. Brandon doesn’t even know this little girl. And he would never ask me out. I pushed away those thoughts for the night. We fell asleep together. Just like a mother would do with her daughter. Rachel snuggled up against my chest as I held her, reassuring her I wasn’t going anywhere.