Heaven Help You
Watching the Last of the Sky Fade Away
"You're crazy..."
"You're a killer..."
"I'm gonna kill you!"
"I-it was temporary insanity....I think...."
"You have to leave..."
He remembered their words. They didn't think he heard them, but he remembered everything they said even as he silently went through his daily routine. The girl...his step-mother and aunt...the girl's father...his lawyer...his father...
They all blamed him...
They all hated him...
He couldn't blame them. It was his fault. That was why he didn't speak. Why he couldn't make himself to anything anymore. It was all his fault. He had done this. He had ended that precious life. He hadn't meant to. He had only wanted to be near her. He had only wanted to see if she would let him touch her hand. Maybe that had been too much. Maybe he hadn't deserved that. He should have known better than to ask. He was ashamed of himself now.
The sky flew past his window. The car was eating the road before it as if it too couldn't wait to be rid of him. He wondered if this new place would be his home. Would they accept accept him here? They said it was a place for people like him. What were "people like him"? He didn't understand that. He couldn't ask them though. They would know he had heard them speak then. He didn't want that. It was bad enough that he had heard them...the things they had said...and the things that they had done!
Gates unfurled next to his window. He might have seen them before if he was looking forward. Forward were his father and aunt sat. Out the window were the things he was counting. Counting and counting. Even as he counted, his fingers taped against his leg in the old familiar pattern. Two index finger and middle finger, one thumb, three thumb, index finger, ring finger. Over and over again. Two, one, three, two one three, two, one, three.
The trees flew past obscuring his view of the clouds. It was the last of the sky. He had watched it fly past and now it was gone. He he come to the end of the Earth. The car pulled around in a circular drive way and stopped next to the Institute. He looked up at it as it seemed to tower above and into eternity. It probably wasn't that big, but there were so many windows to count. He started on the first floor and started going across even as his fingers continued their tapping.
Two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three...
A figure appeared at his window blocking his view of the building. His face crumpled and his breathing became heavy. He had to keep counting. There were so many more to count. Why were they in his way? Why were they doing this to him?
The door opened and the figure squatted in front of him. He strained to see the windows behind the person, but it was an image that was denied him. The tapping of his fingers grew quicker. He needed the comfort it was supposed to give, a comfort it seemed to deny him. "Welcome to Maynewarren Institute Jonathon. My name is Dr. Hoyer. I'll be your attending physician while you stay with us here."
His fingers flew over his leg faster and faster. Twoonethreetwoonethreetwoonethree
He wanted to finish counting the windows. Dr. Hoyer grabbed his hand and Jonathon froze forgetting to breath. No one had ever stopped the comforting rhythm before. His lower lip began to tremble, but still he did not breath. He tugged at his fingers trying to continue the rhythm but Hoyer's firm grip held them absolutely still. "Why don't you stop that Jonathon?"
Blackness pressed in at the edge of his vision. He still couldn't make himself breath. He needed the comfort and yet it was denied him. "Breath Jonathon." He wanted to shake his head and even felt his head slowly begin to make the motion, but the darkness was more pressing. It started to eat at his sight. He could started to see the windows in the darkness and a smile tipped at his lips. He let the darkness obscure and steal Dr. Hoyer and he saw the windows and began to count them.
Dr. Hoyer watched as the new patient slip backwards onto the backseat of his parent's car as he fell into unconsciousness.
"You're a killer..."
"I'm gonna kill you!"
"I-it was temporary insanity....I think...."
"You have to leave..."
He remembered their words. They didn't think he heard them, but he remembered everything they said even as he silently went through his daily routine. The girl...his step-mother and aunt...the girl's father...his lawyer...his father...
They all blamed him...
They all hated him...
He couldn't blame them. It was his fault. That was why he didn't speak. Why he couldn't make himself to anything anymore. It was all his fault. He had done this. He had ended that precious life. He hadn't meant to. He had only wanted to be near her. He had only wanted to see if she would let him touch her hand. Maybe that had been too much. Maybe he hadn't deserved that. He should have known better than to ask. He was ashamed of himself now.
The sky flew past his window. The car was eating the road before it as if it too couldn't wait to be rid of him. He wondered if this new place would be his home. Would they accept accept him here? They said it was a place for people like him. What were "people like him"? He didn't understand that. He couldn't ask them though. They would know he had heard them speak then. He didn't want that. It was bad enough that he had heard them...the things they had said...and the things that they had done!
Gates unfurled next to his window. He might have seen them before if he was looking forward. Forward were his father and aunt sat. Out the window were the things he was counting. Counting and counting. Even as he counted, his fingers taped against his leg in the old familiar pattern. Two index finger and middle finger, one thumb, three thumb, index finger, ring finger. Over and over again. Two, one, three, two one three, two, one, three.
The trees flew past obscuring his view of the clouds. It was the last of the sky. He had watched it fly past and now it was gone. He he come to the end of the Earth. The car pulled around in a circular drive way and stopped next to the Institute. He looked up at it as it seemed to tower above and into eternity. It probably wasn't that big, but there were so many windows to count. He started on the first floor and started going across even as his fingers continued their tapping.
Two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three...
A figure appeared at his window blocking his view of the building. His face crumpled and his breathing became heavy. He had to keep counting. There were so many more to count. Why were they in his way? Why were they doing this to him?
The door opened and the figure squatted in front of him. He strained to see the windows behind the person, but it was an image that was denied him. The tapping of his fingers grew quicker. He needed the comfort it was supposed to give, a comfort it seemed to deny him. "Welcome to Maynewarren Institute Jonathon. My name is Dr. Hoyer. I'll be your attending physician while you stay with us here."
His fingers flew over his leg faster and faster. Twoonethreetwoonethreetwoonethree
He wanted to finish counting the windows. Dr. Hoyer grabbed his hand and Jonathon froze forgetting to breath. No one had ever stopped the comforting rhythm before. His lower lip began to tremble, but still he did not breath. He tugged at his fingers trying to continue the rhythm but Hoyer's firm grip held them absolutely still. "Why don't you stop that Jonathon?"
Blackness pressed in at the edge of his vision. He still couldn't make himself breath. He needed the comfort and yet it was denied him. "Breath Jonathon." He wanted to shake his head and even felt his head slowly begin to make the motion, but the darkness was more pressing. It started to eat at his sight. He could started to see the windows in the darkness and a smile tipped at his lips. He let the darkness obscure and steal Dr. Hoyer and he saw the windows and began to count them.
Dr. Hoyer watched as the new patient slip backwards onto the backseat of his parent's car as he fell into unconsciousness.