Have You Ever Heard Me Scream 'I Love You'?

Walking into my house for the first time in a week, I was happy to be home, but sort of depressed that I wont be seeing Craig until after Thanksgiving. Turning around, I looked at Aaron who was carrying in my bags, "Holy shit, what did you do over there, go on a shopping spree?" He growled.

I nodded, "Sort of, I wanted to do some baby shopping with Craig, so we could pick out things together." I informed him, "we were going to do the furniture shopping over there and just have them ship it here, but we decided against it. So next week, Aimee, Mom, and myself are going into the city to go looking for furniture, and we need a stroller, car seat ..."

"I get it." He cut me off.

I just smiled as he left the house to get the rest of my bags. I yawned loudly before going to the kitchen for something to drink. When I walked in, I saw Gwen sitting at the counter, holding Natalie against shoulder with one arm as she ate a bowl of cereal. I eyed her, not knowing she was back, no one told me.

She looked at me, "Hi." She said softly.

"Hello." I replied as I reached up into the cabinet and grabbed a glass before walking to the fridge.

"Can I talk to you, Kayla?" She asked, talking more like a sister talking to her sister, rather than just someone who's living in my house.

I nodded, "Yeah." I grabbed the orange juice then started to pour it into the glass.

"I just want to say I'm sorry. I was pretty bitchy that night."

I looked over at her, "It's none of my business. You and Tyler are married, married couples--they fight. You dont need to apologize."

She shrugged, "I just feel like I do."

I put the juice back in the fridge, "Did you mean it?" I asked, "That my brother was a mistake?"

"No. I was feeling depressed. I mean, I had natalie, she's really healthy, I just ... felt weird, like something was missing."

I nodded.

"Tyler and I we went to a therapists, and she told us that it's completely normal, especially for young parents like us."

I sipped my juice, listening to her, "You have a strong support system. And Tyler, he really does love you and the baby."

"I know." She paused, "That's why I feel like shit."

"Are you two working things out?"

"Yeah, we're better. We see our therapist once a week, and we have equal parts in taking care of Natalie. BUt like right now, I'm letting him sleep in because he has to close tonight at the pizza place, a little give and take."

I nodded, "That's marriage." I whispered.

She smiled then rubbed Natalie's back, "How was your trip?"

I shrugged, "Ok. It was fun, I got to see a bunch of guys that I havent seen in a long time. Craig and I, we went and took maternity photos that should be here any day now. I had the photos on a disk, for the computer, but Craig stole it, he wanted to keep it with him while he's out on tour. We shopped for the baby, and he took me to a spa."

"A spa?" She made her eyes wide, "Like yours?"

"Yeah, but it was bigger so they had more things than I have at my place, and Craig went with me, and it was amazing."

"Sounds like it."

"But, it was fun." I walked over to her and smiled at Natalie, "Can I hold her?"

"Yeah." She nodded as she passed her baby over to me. I held my niece close and swayed a little, "I cant wait to hold Logan." I mumbled, "To see Craig holding him too." I looked at her, "Did you feel like that too?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I did. Especially when I found out it was a girl."

"There's Daddy's baby." I heard Tyler said cutely, "And there's Daddy's pregnant, moody sister."

I turned around to him, "Good morning sunshine." I smirked, "I'm home."

He rolled his eyes, "Give me my little girl." He demanded, "I havent seen her since last night before I fell asleep."

I handed her to him and he cradled her, kissing on her lovingly before looking at Gwen, "There's Daddy's Wifey." He added then kissed her softly.

Gwen rolled her eyes as she stole another kiss and went back to eating.

"How long have you been home?"

"Like, ten minutes." I informed him.

"Hey, Kayla look what I found in the front yard." Aaron said simply as he walked into the kitchen.

I looked at him to see him holding two little kittens that couldnt have been more than four weeks old. I made my eyes wide, "What?"

He nodded, "I took my car home and I was walking back, and I saw the kittens in your yard. Look how cute." He smiled.

"Get them outta here!" Gwen wailed, "Not around the baby!"

Aaron frowned at her, "Oh, they arent going to hurt her." He insisted, "Pipe down, before you wake your daughter and she screams. I have a headache."

Gwen was taken back by what Aaron just said, I however, wasnt. He's pissy because he ended up picking me up instead of Aimee because Aimee had to open the spa then go to a doctors appointment, she didnt have time.

I walked over to him, petting the kittens, "What if they belong to someone?"

"Kayla, kittens this young dont just walk away." He eyed me, "want to keep them?"

I made a face as I continued to pet them, "I dont think Craig will want cats. We've always talked about a dog, and a rabbit, but not a cat."

"call him."

I made a face as I looked at Aaron, "I would take them, Kayla ... but Heather just got us a cat and he's not the nicest ... he only likes her. Did I tell you he randomly attacked Zack yesterday morning when he was walking to the kitchen? The animal is evil when Heather isnt around."

I grabbed the phone and called Craig, waiting patiently for him to answer. "hey." He said into the phone, knowing it's me from caller ID.

"Hi, Do you want two kittens?" I asked.

He was silent for a second before speaking, "What?"

"Kittens. Aaron found two kittens in our front yard, he cant take them ... and well, they're cute."

He sighed, "As long as they dont shit everywhere, I'm good."

"Really?"

"Really." He insisted, "I've been wanting you to get a pet for a long time. Something to keep you company when I'm gone."

I smiled, "Ok, that's all I wanted to know ... where are you?"

"I am standing outside of our bus at a truckstop. I just finished eating a bear claw before I answered the phone and now I'm finishing my chocolate milk."

"healthy breakfast."

"It is. Send me a picture of them, I want to see what they look like, then we'll name them ... take the pictures and send them to me then I'll call you back?"

"Ok, talk to you minute."

"alright." With that we hung up and i looked at aaron, "He wants to keep them."

Aaron smiled happily, "Did you hear that, you got a home now."

I shook my head as I took a picture of the kittens with my sidekick then sent the picture of Craig. After a few minutes, Craig called me back, "Hey." I answered as I left the kitchen and started up the stairs.

"They're cute ... but they look really young." He said simply.

"I think they are." I paused, "So, do you want to name them?"

"Are they boys or girls?"

"I dont know, I havent looked yet." I informed him.

"Oh, well, when you do look we should name them. I'm thinking of names right now."

"Ok." I paused as I entered our room, "Gwen is home."

"Is she?"

'Yeah.'

"Did they work shit out?"

"I think they did." I insisted, "They seem happy, they're going to therapy."

"Thats good."

"Yeah." I paused, "Craig, I was thinking on the ride home that if Logan comes early, like it I go into labor ..."

"I'll drop the tour." He cut me off, "I already told management and the other bands. And the label, that if you do go into labor early, I'm flying home on the next plane, no questions asked."

I smiled, "You really said that?"

"Yes, I did. Kayla, Music ... this band is top priority in my life, but it shares that top spot with you. And if you can drop everything to come be by my side when I need you, why cant I do the same?"

I smiled more, "Thank you."

He sighed, "And plus, you only have our first son who happens to be our first child, once. It's not like you can shove it back up there and have him again just becuase i missed him."

"I wouldnt want to." I laughed.

He laugehd a little then exhaled loudly, "Oh, Fuck." He sighed softly, "Have the pictures came yet?"

"No, I dont think so ... but I havent checked the mail pile yet. I just got to the house."

"Kaykay, I'm nervous."

"Why?"

"I dont know. I just have so much shit on my mind right now. So much."

"Well, just think about touring and giving a great show every night."

"I'm trying to focus but ... after this we, we're writing for the new record, I've already started actually, lyric wise. Then Logan, what if like when he's born and I hold him, he knows I'm going to be shitty dad."

"Do you want to be a shitty Dad?" I asked, "becuase you keep bringing it up."

"No, I dont want to be a shitty dad, I want him to come to me with anything. I want to be there for him the way my Dad wasnt there for me. But c'mon Kaykay, let's face it ... I'm a fucking wreck."

"No you arent." I insisted, "You're going to be a great dad."

He sighed, "We'll see." He mumbled, "kaykay, I'm going to go lay down, try to sleep. I'll call you tonight, ok?"

"Ok. Craig ... be good." I demanded, "None of this self pity bullshit, you need to stay, for me, for Logan." I paused, "I dont want to get a call from one of the guys telling me you overdosed on Vicodin or Xanax. I dont want to hear about you getting so shitfaced you quit the band and ran off. Ok?"

"I know. Dont worry."

"I do worry."

He sighed, "I love you. If I dont call before the show, I'll call after it."

"I love you too. Have fun tonight."

"I will, get some rest." He demaned softly, "Bye."

"Bye." I hung up then rubbed my belly, "Logan, Daddy is driving himself insane." I whispered to my unborn son before sitting down on the bed and looking around.

I have a feeling that this is going to be the longest two and a half month tour that he's ever been on.