Have You Ever Heard Me Scream 'I Love You'?

I sat in my car infront of my brothers school. Waiting for them to get out, since, last night at dinner, my Father and Nancy volunteered me to pick them up instead of having them walk home, where they'll be alone and could cause havoc on everything.

Finally, the passenger door opened and Zack got in, shutting the door then looked at me, "Hey." He smiled softly.

I smiled back, "hey." I replied as I eyed him over. Zack looks like any other 'skater' boy, but the only diffence is, he cant skateboard to save his life, and he loves books. He's smart and it's a shame that people make fun of him because of it. The highschool is thinking about bumping him up a few grades, so he's challenged, because where he is now, he isnt really learning anything, and the boy has straight A's.

"Where's Tyler?" I questioned.

"Um ... I dont have any classes with him and we have a different lunch period, so I couldnt tell you." He said simply as he sighed softly, "Why are you driving Craig's car?"

"because I wanted to, and because he's not here to drive it, so I change cars, every other day, I drive his." I smirked a little bit then looked back at the swarm of people in the parking lot of the highschool, "Good lord, he does remember that I was picking you two up, right?"

"I think so," Zack shifted a little, "Do you have any food at your house, I'm hungry."

"Well, I was going to stop by the store after I go see Craig's Mom."

"Why do you have to see her?"

I frowned at him, "Because, she's family, and she wants to give me something of Craig's that she found in storage a few days ago."

"Oh."

Finally, the back door opened, and a pretty girl slid in to the seat behind me. I turned around more and looked at her blankly before watching Tyler climb in, "Who's this?" I asked simply.

"This is Gwen." He smiled, "Gwen, this is my older sister, Kayla, and that's my brother, Zack."

Gwen looked at Zack, "I so see you around." She nodded then looked at me, "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Tyler, why is Gwen in my car."

"Actually it's Craigs car." Zack mumbled.

"Shut up, we share." I growled then looked back at Tyler, "Why is she here?"

"She's coming over for dinner."

"Says who?"

"You." He smiled happily then nodded.

I looked at Gwen, "Do your parents know?"

"Yeah, they said it was cool ... they're out of town tonight anyway."

I raised my eyebrow then nodded as I started the car then slowly started to drive away.

Once at Craig's mom's house, I pointed to the boys, "Dont leave this car, I mean it ... I'll be right back." I snapped as I got out and went up to the door. Knocking while letting myself in, I called out, "Mom?" I called, calling her mom, because she's the second closest thing I have to a mother.

"In here, Kayla."

I went into the spareroom to see her cleaning it out. I smiled, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing ... just a little cleaning," She smiled softly, "Adam had this crazy idea of turning this into an office." She said of her husband.

"Looks like fun." I laughed a little, looking at all the boxes.

"Not really." She returned the smile then went into Craig's old room. Flipping on the light, I saw the bed that I lost my virginity in, I smiled softly then looked at my Mother in law. She handed me a box, "I found some of our old photo albums in the spare room, thought you guys may want them," She smiled, "and here ..." She dug around in the closet a little bit more then turned around with another box, "It's a box of all his old tapes and records."

"Oh, he's going to like that." I smiled as she placed that box ontop of the other one, "and I have his first guitar as well."

"Really?" I asked, remembering it faintly.

"Yeah." She held up the secondhand guitar she bought Craig when he was eight, because that's all he asked for, for his birthday and christmas, "I'll carry it out for you." She smiled softly as she led me to the door, "So, how have you been?"

"Tired," I answered, "I always stress myself out when Craig first leaves." I mumbled simply.

"I know the feeling, I worry about him all the time," She said, nodding her blue eyes that she gave to her son, wide, "Craig scares me, I'm afraid he's going to end up back in the hospital."

I frowned, the pain of those six months coming back to me momentarily, "Yeah, me too."

"You have the boys huh?" She asked.

"Yeah, My dad wanted me to keep an eye on them tonight." I said as I opened the trunk of the car. We placed everything down in it then I shut it.

"we're having a family dinner next monday, you have to come." She demanded, "Dont make me sit there with Adam's family, all night by myself."

I laughed, "Ok, I'll come by and keep you company, do I need to bring anything?"

"Nope, just yourself ... oh and a recent picture of Craig, you know how Adam's mother is," She rolled her eyes a bit, "She adores Craig."

I nodded, knowing that, "Ok," I hugged her, "Call if you need anything, Mom."

"I will ... remember, just because Craig is gone, doesnt mean you have to be a stranger." She hissed with a smirk, "Oh, and I'll be coming into the spa next week."

I smiled as I got in the car, "Ok, I'll be there." I said before closing the door and starting the car. I waved to her as I backed out of the driveway and made my way down the street.

We stopped by the store, saw nothing we really wanted to eat, so when we got back to my place, I had the boys order a few pizzas.

Quietly putting the boxes and Craigs guitar in his office, I heard Gwen giggle from the spareroom. I frowned as I pushed the door open to see my brother covering her in kisses, and I couldnt help but think of Craig and I when we were that young, "Hey, you two," I growled simply, "leave the door open, and no sex." I said simply as I walked away.

I flopped on the couch with Zack and nudged him, "what do you want to do?"

He shrugged, "I dont know, I dont have any homework, I did it all in class." He said softly as he looked at me.

I turned on the TV and scrolled through the guide, "Well, wanna order a movie?" I asked as I went through the pay per view movies on the satellite TV.

"Sure." He nodded as he read the titles on the screens. He then frowned when he saw nothing he wanted to see, "Never mind." He sighed, "I need friends Kayla."

"Go make some."

"No one wants to be my friend when they know who I am, they think I'm a nerd, Tylers geeky twin brother."

"Aw, Craig's a geek and look at him." I smiled, "He has people all around him."

"Yeah, that's different, he was a chior geek."

I shrugged, "So?"

"So, you have your chior to be your friends, and he was in the school plays with leading roles."

"You know, he had his nose stuck in a book most of the time."

"Also ... he had you," He shrugged, "He didnt have to bother with trying to impress the girls."

"He tried though, just because he had me, didnt stop him from flirting with the other girls," I paused, "I got pissed off at him a lot because of it."

He rolled his eyes as he got up and went into the kitchen, "You have a message."

I got up and went to the answering machine, not having seen it. I pressed play and listened.

One new Message: Hey Kaykay, I dont know where you are and you dont have your phone on, I just called to talk for a bit ... so I guess I talk to you tonight after the show, I love you.

I frowned as I deleted Craig's message, "I didnt know my phone was off." I mumbled as I went to my purse and took out my sidekick, only to see it on, but the ringer was off.

"I have ten missed calls," I mumbled more to myself than anyone, "all of them Craig." I shook my head with a smile then checked my texts, to see a bunch of texts from Craig as well. I rolled my eyes, knowing he must be bored.

"Well, Zack, you'll never meet anyone if you dont put yourself out there." I said to him as I looked at him.

"Yeah, yeah." He nodded as he left me alone in the kitchen.

I dialed Craigs number then put my sidekick to my ear.

"You know, I shouldnt even be answering this, Miss. Imtryingtoavoidmyhusband." Craig said simply.

"I'm not trying to avoid you, I didnt know my ringer was off, and I had to go get the twins from school."

"Oh, yeah, sure." He taunted, "Probably at the cafe having a lust affair with your smoothie maker."

I laughed at him, "Craig, the boy is like sixteen" I pointed out, "and I think he makes a damn good smoothie."

"I'll show you a damn good smoothie." He mumbled then sighed, "What are you doing?"

"Standing in the kitchen, I just got your message on the machine."

"uh huh." He paused for a minute as he coughed a bit, "Why are the twins over?"

"My parents are out and not home ... so they wanted me to watch them. Oh, your mom found some old stuff of yours."

"I know, I called her today. She told me."

I frowned softly, "Babe, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," He insisted, "Just a little tired."

"You sound ..." I paused, "Different."

"Different? Different, how?"

"I dont know, are you worried about something?"

"No. I miss you," He said softly, "That's about it."

"Where are you?"

"I'm walking to a subway for an early dinner." He answered me.

"By yourself?"

"Yes, the guys went to a restaurant."

"Are you all fighting?"

"No," He answered softly, "Kaykay, you know how I get sometimes, I just like to be alone every once in a while" He paused, "and that's hard to do on tour, so when I get the chance, I jump at it."

"I'm worried about you." I whispered.

"Dont be," He insisted, "I'm fine, honestly." He said, but that tone was still in his voice. That tone like he was worried or stressed out about something.

"So, first show of the tour tonight." I smiled to myself.

"Yeah, I'm anixous."

"Craig, it's only been two weeks since you've played your last show, you cant be that anxious."

"It's a new tour, of course I am," He laughed a little, but it was forced, "hold on, I need to order my food." He said softly, then I faintly heard him ordering a roasted turkey breast sandwich, with a medium drink.

After a few seconds, he was back on the phone, "You there?"

"Yeah," I answered, "So, have you met up with the other bands yet?" I questioned.

"Yeah, last night," He paused, "We had a bit of a party at the hotel." He said, his mouth full.

"Wake up with a hang over?"

"No," He said, his voice more clear, "I didnt drink that much, I had a sore throat." He paused, "I just had a few beers."

"Oh," I nodded as I heard the door bell ring, "Hey babe, talk to Zack really fast I have to pay for the pizza." I said as I handed my brother the phone then opened the door.

"45.99." The guy said softly.

I handed him a fifty then took the pizza, "Keep the change." I mumbled.

"Thanks." He smiled then left. I put the food on the table, then went to get Tyler, to see the door closed, "Damn it you little asshole" I snapped as I pushed the door open to see them making out, "Food is here." I growled, "Get off of her."

Tyler looked at me, "Kill joy." He frowned.

"I know," I nodded then walked back out to Zack. He handed me the phone back, "Babe?"

"Hey" Craig said softly.

"Sorry about that."

"Its ok." He sighed softly, "Honey, I have a few weeks off after this tour, do you wanna go somewhere?"

"Like where?" I questioned.

"I dont know, on a vacation that we both deserve," He paused, "Somewhere secluded and romantic."

I smiled, "Yeah, I would like that."

"me too," He whispered but his voice was still giving me an uneasy feeling, "Ok, you go eat ... I'm going to finish up here then head back to the club."

"Alright, I love you."

"I love you, too honey."

With that, we both hung up. I walked over to the table and sat down, grabbing myself a piece of pizza as I thought about Craig, I let my mind wander, going through all the possible reasons that he could sound like that.

I hope he isnt thinking about doing something stupid.