Have You Ever Heard Me Scream 'I Love You'?

The ringing of the phone was loud as I slowly woke up. I glanced at the time to see that it was almost three in the morning, "Hello?" I slurred, not usually waking up to answer the phone, Craig does that.

"Kayla?" I heard Brad's voice.

"Brad?" I frowned softly.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but you need to get over here."

I sat up, "What? Why?"

He hesitated, "Craig is having a break down, he just quit the band and he's locked in the hotel room ... he's bleeding as wel.l"

I felt my heart race like never before, "How in the hell could he possibly be like this already? it's only the beginning of the second week of tour." I pointed out as I got out of bed.

"I know, he's been drinking, and he's been distant since the tour started, I think you should fly out here, we're in Orlando, we arent leaving, we cancelled the next show, we may have to cancel the tour."

"No no, I'll be there as fast as I can, what hotel are you at?"

"The hoilday inn."

"ok." I hung up on him and got dressed quickly, and packed my bags for about a two week stay, not knowing how long I'll be there. I grabbed everything I needed then locked everything up. On my way out to the parking lot, Aimee was walking towards me quickly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard about Craig," She said softly, "I'm going too."

I nodded a little bit then after that, everything just seemed like a whirl of stressful time. I had talked to Craig before the show, and yeah he sounded a little tense, but he always does before he goes on.

Before I knew it, I was letting myself into his hotel room with a key the front desk gave to me. I shut the door quietly and turned on the light to see my husband sitting on the edge of the bed, a bloodied towel loosely around his hand.

I sat next to him, "Babe?" I whispered softly as I leaned into him a bit.

He didnt answer me. He smelled of alcohol, sweat and vomit. His face was pale and clamy, and his jeans were blood soaked.

I felt tears threaten to fall as I looked at him. I reached for his hand and he didnt pull away. I took the towel off and looked at his cut. I shook my head, "You should clean that out, wrap some gauze around it."

He looked at me, "I dont feel well, Kaykay." He slurred softly.

I nodded as I started to cry, "Whats wrong?"

He shook his head a little bit, "I dont wanna talk about it."

I frowned as he reached up with his other hand that wasnt hurt, and wiped away some tears from my cheek. I leaned into his touch more before he pulled away. He stood up and staggered into the bathroom. I watched sadly, then sighed as I picked up the hotel room, grabbing his bloody shirt, and picking up the trash, then fixing everything that needed to be fixing.

Craig walked out of the bathroom, his hair wet and his body naked but somewhat dry.

He walked over to me and held out his hand. I grabbed the grocery bag that had gauze in it, then wrapped up his hand, not knowing it he needed stitches or not, but at least it's clean now.

After I wrapped it, he walked to the bed then got in, laying on his side and closing his eyes. I stood there, watching as he passed out cold, left wondering what in gods name posessed him to do something like this.

There was a soft knock on the door. I walked over and opened it to see Brad, "How is he?"

"Sleeping." I whispered, "What happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." He mumbled simply, "But, he quit the band."

I made my eyes wide, "what?"

"yeah, he's pretty wasted, he wont remember much, but I dont know what's keeping him here, he said he was coming up here to grab his shit then fly home, once he was up here, he didnt come back down, that's why I called you."

I nodded, "Ok."

"I have to go, get some sleep." He mumbled then walked away. I shut the door then looked over at my husband. I turned out all the lights then got in bed with him. Hugging him close I wrapped his arms around myself, giving he's passed out and cant do it himself.

I huffed sadly as I closed my eyes, wishing I knew what exactly happened, but no one is talking.

----------------------------------------

I felt soft kisses on my cheek and forehead. I opened my eyes slowly only to feel that Craigs hold around me was tight and comforting, and to see his blood shot blue eyes looking at me.

I looked back at him and didnt know what to say. He frowned sadly before kissing my lips softly, "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry." He mumbled again, "I dont remember what exactly happened last night, but I'm sorry you were dragged into it."

I shook my head, "I'm glad I was, I dont want you alone."

"are you mad?"

"no, I just want to know what happened." I insisted, "No one is telling me anything."

"I had a little too much to drink, and I said some shit, then quit the band, cut myself on a broken whiskey bottle," He paused, "Thats all I can remember, I dont even know if thats how it happened, but I was wasted I know that."

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and started to cry, much like I was last night. He held me closer, rubbing the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair, "Dont cry." He mumbled, "please ... dont cry." He begged.

"I love you." I sobbed.

"I Love you, too." He kissed my forehead, "I love you, too." He repeated.

I sat up as I wiped away my tears, "Are you qutting?" I asked as I looked back at him.

He sat up and shrugged, "I dont know." He gently rubbed my back, "Whatever was said last night, it still has me upset, I'm still mad at them and I dont know why ... I dont know what happened."

I turned to him, "you have to work everything out"

"Why?"

"because, these are your bestfriends we're talking about" I paused, "Mainly Matt and Brad, those two have been with you through so much shit," I pointed out, "Without you, this band wouldnt go on, it cant go on."

He eyed me a little bit, "are you by my side, no matter what?"

"I'm your wife, of course I am ... even if you are wrong."

He nodded as he inhaled deeply. I leaned against him and closed my eyes, "I was scared."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It felt like years until I got here."

He kissed my forehead once more, "I'm sorry." He muttered again.

I nodded, knowing I'm probably the only one who is going to get an actual apology, but I'm not the one who needs it the most, the guys are.

"I'm going to take a shower." He whispered as he got up, "Do you have anymore of this gauze?"

I nodded my head yes.

"Ok." He went into the bathroom, but left the door open. I watched as he took off the bandage on his hand then started the shower.

Quietly, there was a knock on the door. I got up and answered it to see Derrick standing there. I eyed him a bit and he forced a soft smile, "hey."

"Hi."

"Is Craig up?"

"He's in the shower."

"Well, we're down in the lobby, tell him to come down after he's done." He mumbled softly.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I dont know, I was already in my room when everything went down" He mumbled, but I knew he knew something, he just wasnt telling me. I watched as he walked away. I shut the door then pressed my forehead against it.

Craig has only been on tour for two weeks and he still has another month and a half, almost two months until it ends. I'm not sure if he'll be able to make it through.