The Strength of Fragility

The sun awoke Izzie the next morning. It was late, the hands of the clock grazing eleven o’clock and she moaned, her mouth was dry and her throat felt swollen. Her eyes began to ache from lack of sleep, and all she wanted to do was flip over and close herself off from everything. To sleep until the world began to look better or what was stalking her, claimed her once and for all.

Her whole body was thrumming with an ache that only fatigue could bring on. She had managed to drag herself back onto her mattress at dawn, and curl into the covers that felt reassuringly cold against her sweating body. She shivered, and began to feel nauseous again but she closed her eyes tight, and swallowed down the feeling of queasiness. Not now.

There was a gentle tapping noise on the door, and Izzie made a small noise in the back of her throat, signalling the knocker to come in. Charlie’s head peered around the corner as he opened the door a small crack. He smiled at her, “Hey, you’re awake. You, um, you have a visitor.”

Izzie sat up, ignoring her tired body, “Who is it?”

Charlie smiled, “It’s Alice. I think she has plans for you and her today. You should go. I like Alice, she’s a good girl.”

Izzie smiled at Charlie, and then nodded, sliding her feet into her slippers. “I don’t think anyone could not like Alice. I’ll get ready so, could you tell her I’ll be down in a minute or two?”

Charlie nodded, and then turned to leave but he paused a moment and then with unease looked back, eyeing the thin girl up and down, “Isabel?”

Izzie blinked, looking at Charlie who was gazing at her with a father’s concern, “Yes Charlie?”

“Are you alright? You…you don’t look well.”

Izzie froze for a moment and then she smiled, shaking her head at Charlie, “I’m just tired. I was sick during the night but I’m okay now. Don’t worry about me.”

Charlie nodded, satisfied and left, not asking an more questions. Izzie sighed, and then quickly washed herself, brushing her stale mouth and choosing an appropriate outfit for walking around a small town. Some of her dresses weren’t suitable for anything but the streets of LA littered by paparazzi. She applied her make up carefully, covering up the dark circle underneath her eyes and rubbing concealed over her tired skin. Izzie had always been watching her make-up artists at photo-shoots and filming. She had quickly learned the trade herself. A small slick of clear lip-gloss, and her golden waves brushed and hanging over her shoulders and Izzie was ready to face Alice, who was waiting patiently downstairs.

She walked down the stairs slowly, taking her time. She could hear the tinkling voice of Alice chatting merrily to Charlie, who responded in his gruff tone but it was laced with a warmness expressing his affections towards the pixie like girl.

Izzie opened the door and peered at Alice curiously, wondering what she had planned. She had gotten on well with her the day before but hadn’t expected a friendly outing quite so soon, least of all from Alice.

Alice turned her direction the moment she entered the room, her whole body flowing with a grace that Izzie had never seen before. When she was walking, it was like her feet didn’t even hit the ground, it was like every step was a dance move performed on the air around them. It caused Izzie to stare for a moment, appreciating the lithe beauty of the moments which would be grasped in a moment back in the fast paced world of showbiz she had left behind.

“Good morning Izzie!” Alice chimed, coming to stand before her, a devilish grin upon her face.

Izzie smiled, finding it hard to look at Alice’s dancing eyes without being too dazzled, “Good morning Alice. I hope you didn’t have to wait long for me.”

Alice shook her head, pulling Izzie down onto the couch beside them, her grip was strong and firm around Izzie’s weak arm and it stunned her for a moment. “I knew precisely when you would wake up, so I got here only a moment ago before Charlie went up to you.”

Izzie frowned, not seeing how that was even plausible but she didn’t ask questions. Her head was sore, and she could tell it was going to be a long day, for many reasons.

“Is there a reason you came?” she asked quietly as Alice continued to stare at her.

Alice beamed and clapped her hands, “Yes. I’m here to give you a test. I’m going to say only one word and I want you to see the first thing that pops into your head.”

“Okay.”

Alice smiled, “Okay here we go. This is the deal breaker, the word is…Heaven.”

Izzie smiled, “That’s easy. Marc Jacobs.”

Alice laughed out loud and clamped her arms around Izzie in a deep, meaningful hug. She nestled her face into Izzie’s neck, so she could feel the blood being pumped through the girl’s veins. She stiffened for a moment but then that strange toxic smell came again, and caused Alice to forget the thirst and focus on the answer Izzie had given her. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you Isabel Steele!” Alice whispered dramatically and then pulled the weaker girl up beside her. “We’re going shopping. Come on, I have the Porsche.”

Izzie laughed and grabbing her bag, allowed Alice to lead her out to the car, and drive them to Port Angeles.

Skimming the rails of clothes, Izzie sighed with contentment. Shopping was the medicine for all of life’s problems. And she didn’t need to ask Alice to know she would agree. The smell of fresh clothes with the price tag still on them from a designer boutique sent a rush of satisfaction through her.

Alice looked across at Izzie as she examined a fine pair of ankle boots with a five inch heel, “They’ll look good on you. Trust me, get them.”

Izzie smiled, running her hand down the leather side of the shoe, admiring it in her hand, “I love finding things you know will just…fit.”

Alice laughed, “You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to get Bella to shop like this. She’s impossible.”

Izzie laughed with Alice, and shook her hair back so it glistened rather like a vampire’s skin Alice thought. Izzie would certainly make a fine vampire, she was already stunningly beautiful and it would be increased tenfold with venom pumping through her system.

“You should have seen us in Phoenix,” Izzie was saying, “I always used to drag her shopping with me. She never went to the dances, and not for lack of a date. Boys asked her all the time, but she was never interested. So, she would just be dragged after me, whilst I tried on dress after dress moaning about one boy or another. But she always came, and never complained. She listened…”

Alice smiled softly, “Because she’s Bella, and that’s what she does. You knew her a long time?”

“All her time in Phoenix. We were pretty inseparable. But then she moved, and I got my deal with the modelling agency. I felt as if…she almost forgot what she had had back home in Phoenix you know? Suddenly, her emails were sparse with detail, and I knew she was distracted by something…or someone. And I understand, I do…I know what it’s like to love someone irrevocably. But then the emails stopped completely, and it was almost like she disappeared. I’ve missed her these last few years…I really have.”

Izzie hadn’t realised that Alice had moved to her side, and she jumped when she patted her arm. She looked down at the small girl who’s golden eyes were full of understanding and pity. She sniffed, wiping her hand from her eyes which had become teary.

They began to move off to another shop, when there was several loud screams and suddenly Alice froze as four girls came running towards them. She looked across at Izzie who was unfazed and simply smiling at all the girls kindly. They babbled to her in high pitch voices, their bodies shaking in excitement at meeting their idol.

Alice watched at Izzie posed for photos with the girls, and signed papers they handed to her, and patiently answering the questions they threw at her, (No, she would not give out Zac Efron’s number. Yes, she had shared an apartment with Megan Fox.) Alice squinted slightly, again attempting to see something in Izzie’s future. But again she was met with blackness. The blindness annoyed her, she didn’t understand and then a vision of Jasper smiling and laughing passed through her vision. He looked back, his hand entwined with Izzie’s. She was smiling back at him, as he pulled her close and kissed her gently.

The vision faded and Alice smiled some more .Izzie would be with Jasper.

As the girls left Izzie alone, she walked back to Alice, smiling apologetically, “Sorry about that.”

Alice shook her head, “It’s fine. They certainly love you.”

Izzie chuckled, “It’s not me really. I suppose it’s what I represent being part of that world. Glamour, fame, money…”

“Sex,” Alice chipped in.

Izzie laughed, “Maybe. I’ve always tried to make sure I stayed real. To remember who made me who I was, who helped me become a star. The fans. Without them, any celebrity would be nothing.”

Alice nodded, “That’s true and hey,” she walked over to a calendar store as she spotted a familiar name on the cardboard cover, “I’m sure you have many fans.”

Izzie laughed again loudly and blushed, taking the calendar of herself from Alice. “It’s actually kind of strange to think people could have that in their rooms.”

They walked back to the car, Alice noticing Izzie sliding a pair of aviators over her eyes, disguising her slightly. She wasn’t up for more screaming fans, however much she appreciated their love and support.

“So Izzie, any men in your life?”

The question was something Izzie wasn’t expecting and she balked for a moment, and then sighed, “No, none at all.”

Alice surveyed the girl, “But there was one.”

Izzie smiled demurely, “You’re an insightful one. Yes, there was…but I broke up with him. I’d rather not talk about it actually.”

Alice shrugged, “Okay, come on. Back to the house and we’ll eat and then I’ll get Jasper to bring you home.”

~

The Cullen household was as warm as ever, everybody greeting Izzie with warm hugs and smiles. Jasper was in the corner of the room, and he tipped his hand at her in a southerly fashion. Izzie smiled warmly back at him, wondering at the tingling feeling his golden eyes were giving her.

She ate slowly, wondering why no-body else was…but then was too hungry to care. She knew she’d regret the food later, as already her stomach twinged uneasily. She grumbled at herself, and then after an exciting game of cards with Reneesme, Alice announced Jasper would drive her home in the Porsche.

Izzie nodded, “Is that okay with you Jasper?”

Her voice was quiet but it flowed like a wave through Jasper’s ears and he found himself leaning closer to absorb himself in the mere sound of her. She was calm here, though anxiety rushed through her at least once an hour and he wondered why.

He nodded, “It’s quite alright. I’ll get the keys, our jacket’s in the hallway.”

Izzie smiled and said her goodbyes, she came out into the hall as Jasper entered it from the other side. She looked at him a moment, and reached for her jacket, the same time he did. Her hand touched his for a moment, and she stifled a gasp at his icy cold temperature. She looked up at him, her gaze locking into his, and then she felt warm as his liquid gold eyes surrounded her. And then she felt fuzzy, but not in a good way.

Jasper caught her before she hit the ground and tapped her face gently to try and rouse her. She blinked and then gasped as she realised she had fainted. “Oh, Jasper! I’m sorry…I didn’t sleep last night. I must be more tired than I thought.”

Jasper smiled, “It’s okay.”

His face was inches from hers, her body still enclosed in his grip. He hadn’t moved from the position he’d taken to catch her and they were both frozen again. Izzie felt strange as if she’d been like this before.

“I feel…strange,” she whispered to him, “As if I’ve had a dream and you were in it…but I can’t remember anything.”

Jasper’s mouth opened and closed and his eyes flickered from hers to her lips. And then someone coughed from the next room, and Jasper realised himself, and straightened, helping Izzie up. “I better bring you home or Charlie will worry. He’s adopted you as his second Bella I think.”

Izzie followed him out and the car ride back was silent. She thought about that moment, before they had been roused, she’d wanted to kiss him, or to caress him. It was definitely something strange and something she didn’t want to feel. Not now, she couldn’t allow herself to hope anymore. Especially when it came to feelings like this, it made saying good-bye too hard.

Jasper sensed her worrying and calmed her. He pulled up outside the Swan residence and smiled at Izzie as she gathered her shopping bags, “Sleep tight Izzie.”

Izzie thanked Jasper in her quiet voice and then she couldn’t help herself. She swooped in and planted a soft but sweet kiss onto his stone cold cheek. “Sleep tight Jasper Hale,” she whispered before getting out of the car.

Jasper stayed still and then long after she had gone into the house, he rose his hand to his cheek where the touch of her lips still lingered.