The Strength of Fragility

Izzie closed her eyes when Jaspers sweet lips met hers. She was surprised at how cold they were but she didn’t flinch away. Instead she pressed closer to him, her arm trailing up his sleeve. Her fingers caressed the skin on which she could feel the bumps of those awful scars.
And all of a sudden, a pair of warm brown eyes flashed into her mind and a laugh that could warm her heart in a moment echoed around her head. She closed her eyes tighter, willing away sudden tears and with an effort pushed herself away foe Jasper and she moved as far away from him as she could within a second.

She glanced up at him and immediately regretted it, seeing the look of hurt pass through his beautiful golden eyes. How she possibly explain to everything that was going on within her? All these torn up emotions and confused feelings. They barely made any sense to her which was why her whole life had crumbled into a big mess at her feet.

Jasper waited, confused at Izzie’s sudden reaction to their kiss. He went to hold his hand out to her and stopped himself, somehow knowing she would not want to be touched by him right now. He could feel a barrage of emotions and feelings swirling around her. Sadness, despair, confusion, anger...it made him dizzy trying to comprehend them all. He did not want to pick them out one by one and analyse them. This was Izzie...he knew she would tell him.

She looked at him then, her blue eyes swimming with tears and when she spoke her throat was clogged with emotion. “Oh Jasper, I’m so sorry,” she managed to whisper. “Please forgive me...it’s so hard to explain right now about everything that’s going on. There’s so much I don’t understand myself.”

Jasper managed a weak smile. Why could it never be easy? Boy likes girl...boom, together forever.

“It’s alright Isabelle. I understand...I won’t kiss you again.”

Izzie’s face twisted and she moaned under her breath and wrung her hands together in despair. She moved closer to him again and her cold fingers clutched his own.

“No Jasper. Don’t say that! I liked kissing you. It was wonderful...and maybe, we can do it again. But my insides are all torn up and it would be wrong of me to kiss you or...or lead you on in any way when I am so confused myself about other things in my life. Do you understand?”

Jasper wanted to move away, feeling rejected but he had to stay where he was, feeling Izzie’s desperation that he understands her. Eventually, he nodded.

Her fingers came to rest on his cheeks and he could feel wetness on one fingertip from a fallen tear, graze across his face in a caress. He closed his eyes, breathing her in and his forehead came down to rest upon hers. She felt feverish.

“Oh Jasper, “she whispered. He loved the way she said that. “Why are you so wonderful?”

He said nothing but allowed her to continue stroking his face in silence, not wanting to forget any moment of her beautiful fingers touching his marble like skin and brushing through his golden hair.

~

Jasper was silent when he arrived home at the Cullen household. As he came in, several heads popped up from various activities to stare at him. Edward regarded him solemnly, his eyes several shades darker than Jaspers. He needed to feed and with a nod, Jasper agreed to hunt with him. Bringing down a mountain lion or two might help his frustration with the day’s events.

Deep in the woods, flying from tree to tree, Jasper was able to explain to Edward what had happened with Izzie. He couldn’t hide the longing and desire in his voice and thoughts as he replayed their kiss and then his hurt when she had pulled away in tears.

Edward clapped Jasper on the back.

“One thing I can ensure you of brother is that even as vampires, we will never understand women.”

Jasper allowed a brief smile flicker across his face as he grudgingly accepted the statement as fact.

“I just know there’s so much more going on than what any of us know and I don’t know how she is hiding it from us,” he said to Edward.

Edward nodded, “maybe in time Jasper. That, at least, is what we have in leaps and bounds.”

Jasper laughed and with a shove began to race his brother back to their house, fully fed and golden eyed.

Alice met them at the outskirts of the trees and she looked at Jasper, eyes wide.

“It’s Izzie. She packing and going back to LA. You have to stop her Jasper. She’s meant to be here.”

~

Izzie hummed to herself, allowing the music from her Ipod flow into her ears and drown out her thoughts. She lifted up a red cashmere sweater and began to fold it, remembering the Christmas she had been given it as a gift. It was the first Christmas she had spent with Jo...

She closed her eyes, and brought the sweater to her nose, inhaling the scent. Part of her desperately searched for some fragment of his cologne but it had been so long since he had held her, all the smells but fabric conditioner had faded away. The smell of the pine trees from outside dominated the room, drifting in from the open window.

She opened her eyes, and stifled a scream. Jasper was standing in the middle of the room, looking down at the open suitcase.

“Where are you going?” he asked her. His voice was cold.

“How the hell did you get in Jasper? I didn’t even hear you!” she shrieked and bent over as a fit of coughing overtook her body.

Jasper crouched down, concerned. His hand drifted down to the small of her back as he subtly held her body until the coughing subsided.

“I’m going to LA,” she finally whispered, gasping for her breath back. “I need to go for my movie premiere. Everyone is counting on me. But I’ll be back, I promise.”

Her eyes reached up to Jaspers and he searched her face. She was so pale and she looked scared of returning back to the fast paced world of Hollywood after quiet Forks.

Jasper twisted his mouth and then nodded.

“OK, but I’m coming with you.”