Memories and Rememberance
Memories of myself
The mirror is my way of blocking out the memories. It seems like as soon as I look at myself in the present, all thoughts of the past or future go away. When I stare at first, I can't see myself. It's not exactly blury, but almost invisible. After a few minutes normally I see a general reflection of myself. I have long hair, either black or brown. My skin is pale, with a slight tint of pink. If I touch the mirror though, the reflection goes away....
...I wonder why?
Sometimes I think it's because I'm not real. And if I'm not real then when I try to make myself real, I'm neither real nor fake. After too much thinking I get confused.
The cold glass feel like nothing to me. I touch it, and everything is illimunated. My sight, my smell, my touch, my taste, my emotions. Everything. If I close my eyes tightly I can form the mirror into a memory. I'll see in the corner of th club myself staring into the mirror. It's very vague, and I can't go very far without making myself pass out.
Or maybe that's waking myself up.
"It's like she's stopped in time." That's something that stuck to me. I believe that all people have their own time machines. And when they said that, it's lik mine ran out of battery. Or at least some of the battery. Because I can move backward, that's pretty much all I do. But I can't move forward. It really sucks.
I think about focusing all my energy on the railroad memory. I bet if I tried hard enough then I could make a million mirrors around there. Maybe I'll be able to see my reflection more clearly, and then I might get what he's staring at. And then I might wake up from that, and really look at myself in the mirror.
That's very unlikely though.
Because even if I did somehow manage to do that, there would be no point.
I would go back to the same girl I am.
Always going back in time, never moving forward.
Unless the memories I have are visions.
But I doubt that. With visions you can't have feeling, cause you can't remembor anything that didn't happen.
And I remember a lot.
...I wonder why?
Sometimes I think it's because I'm not real. And if I'm not real then when I try to make myself real, I'm neither real nor fake. After too much thinking I get confused.
The cold glass feel like nothing to me. I touch it, and everything is illimunated. My sight, my smell, my touch, my taste, my emotions. Everything. If I close my eyes tightly I can form the mirror into a memory. I'll see in the corner of th club myself staring into the mirror. It's very vague, and I can't go very far without making myself pass out.
Or maybe that's waking myself up.
"It's like she's stopped in time." That's something that stuck to me. I believe that all people have their own time machines. And when they said that, it's lik mine ran out of battery. Or at least some of the battery. Because I can move backward, that's pretty much all I do. But I can't move forward. It really sucks.
I think about focusing all my energy on the railroad memory. I bet if I tried hard enough then I could make a million mirrors around there. Maybe I'll be able to see my reflection more clearly, and then I might get what he's staring at. And then I might wake up from that, and really look at myself in the mirror.
That's very unlikely though.
Because even if I did somehow manage to do that, there would be no point.
I would go back to the same girl I am.
Always going back in time, never moving forward.
Unless the memories I have are visions.
But I doubt that. With visions you can't have feeling, cause you can't remembor anything that didn't happen.
And I remember a lot.