Memories and Rememberance

I'm not sure if friend would be the right word. To be honest I'm not quite sure what she is. Maybe a figment of my imagination, which would make sense. But I don't think I have an imagination. I haven't thought up anything of my own. And plus, you can never actually physically see an imaginary friend. I can see her so much it's like she's real. She has golden blond hair, and chocolate brown eyes. She never smiles. She's always like this lost, confused, sad soul. Is that what I am? Are there more of me?

I've tried to talk to her, but she never listens. Or maybe she doesn't hear me. In our world- well - my world, you can't hear much of anything. The sound lingers, waits; until you give up completely. Everything is kind of a heavy grey fog, and it's like you're alone. Except the thing is, you know there are more around you. Like in the memories, you can't see anyone except who you desire to see the absolute most.

Which brings me back to the girl. Why can I see her? I don't recognize her, but then again I didn't recognize him when I first saw him. Maybe she's an important part.

I really wish I could remember that dream. It completely erased from my memory, and I hate it. I'v never had anything I couldn't remember. You'd think a dead person would have plenty of time to remember something. But nope, it's gone.

One time, she was kind of looming all around. Normally she stays in one place, always with the same expression on her face. But one time, it was like she was searching for something. Her expression remained, but she loomed on looking everywhere. I kind of walked around her, cause many times it was like she couldn't see me.

Could she be having a memory? I wonder....

Here she was; looming again. I was tempted to go up to her, talk to her, but I knew that she couldn't hear me.

"I know who you are." I whipped around to find her, looking at me. A surge of emotions welled up inside of me. Contact; that's what I needed. She was in the same position she normally was when isn't looming.

"I 'm not exactly sure who you are, or how I know you, but I can feel it." I felt it too.

"That might just be because we're the only ones each other sees." I said. My voice wasn't as croaky as I thought it'd be. She cocked her head to the right.

"What are you talking about?" I didn't know how to respond to that, it was a kind of sentence that's just obvious. Her eyes went wide.

"Oh. You mean, you can only see me?" i nodded. She started to laugh. Actually laugh!

"That's crazy. I always thought you were strange, always staring at me like I'm some kind of freak. But I mean, I guess you are." This was insulting. Here we are as dead people and she's calling ME a freak?

"Do you have memories too?" I asked her. She stopped laughing.

"Memories? Are you insane? Nobody has memories here. We all see the present and future." Interesting.

"Wait, do YOU have memories?" Was it bad if I did? Was I disfunctioned as a ghost too?

"Well..yeah."

"I've never heard of that before. Can you see past and present too?" She came foward, and her usual expression was gone.

"Well kind of. I can see the present, but only if I wake up. You know, like make myself alive. But as soon as I die, I can't remember what I saw." She didn't know what to make of this.

"That's amazing." I was thinking curse. "No body here knows how to do that. How'd you figure it out?" I shrugged.

"They just came. I couldn't control it." Her mouth was in the shape of an O.

'Really? So you had dreams?" I shook my head.

"No. You know when you're kind of looming around?" She shook her head.

"Oh. Well you do and when you do I think you're having your...visions."

"What? Oh my gosh!"

"Yeah. So like when I'm looming around, I think that's when I have my memories. I've only have one dream. But like I said, that's when I become alive." She stopped short and stared at me.

"You come alive?" I nodded.

"Yes, well- I think so."

"That's impossible." i shrugged. Apparently not.

"But if you come alive, then how do you die again?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. I can't remember the dream once I die. I'm guessing I'd have to die again." If only I could remember that dream. I looked at her. Her expression was back to the same, and she started looming. I sighed.

Maybe I have one friend here. One that can help me.

But that's not enough.

Because no matter what happens.

I'm still dead.

And I'll never be permanently alive.