Life After You

Janelle’s mom got the hint that Pat wanted to speak to Janelle alone so she casually excused herself and left the room. Putting her clutch down on the front door table, Janelle walked over to Pat.

“Let’s go outside on the deck,” she told him and walked through the kitchen and outside the sliding doors to the deck. After Pat followed she closed the door. There were 2 lamps sitting on each corner of the deck. The deck furniture was put away but there was one of those store park benches in the center. Her parents turned off their bedroom light. All the lights in the house were off except for the two lamps on the deck.

Janelle tried not to play with the hem of her skirt but she has to touch something when she’s nervous. Her heart was beating and the acid from her stomach was rising in her throat. 

Pat sensed her anxiety and reaches over, holding her hand. Janelle’s first extinct was to pull away, the resistance stressing her hand. Pat felt it too but he held on to it a little tighter. Feeling his warmth and energy through his hand to hers calmed her down.

Janelle closed her eyes to try and squelch the coming tears. She opened them when she heard Pat speak. His blue eyes shiny with the reflection of the lamp.

“What happened in that club was a result of my selfishness...I got swept away in the moment. I forgot about you.” Pat said angrily at himself.

“I understand that part of it Pat, I was so happy for you and I wanted you to live it up. You deserved it. But sometimes you over do it. And you become someone else.”

Pat shifted uncomfortably in the bench. He was embarrassed but he knew that when he goes over the line, the results are not always positive.

Janelle picked up on his body language and looked into his eyes.

“You’re human, Pat, and that’s what I love about you.” She smiled at him.

“But I trusted you, you told me I was your girl, we were something or becoming something special and you have a few shots and all of a sudden you become a single manwhore.”

The words stung and Pat digested them, he nodded.

“There is a part of me that expects to go wild, my friends, my teammates, it’s part of who I am. I like to have fun, but I hate hurting people, especially the ones I love.”

He looked at the stars and back to Janelle, his blue eyes filling up with tears.

“You were the first girl who stood up to me, who wasn’t easy. You saw me, ME, not the star hockey player, or the crazy drunk from Buffalo or whatever else the media calls me. I love you so fucking much.”

Pat stood up and held out his hand. Janelle took and stood up. Face to face with Pat.

“I am sorry for what I did. I know you distrust me from it. You don’t have to say it but I can read it in your face. I want to change that and prove to you that you can trust me.”

Pat touched Janelle’s cheek as a tear streamed down. 

Janelle looked up at her man, holding his hand. She did love him and she didn’t want to lose him.

“I trust you Pat, but I’m afraid for what can happen again, because I know you won’t change all that much. But...you have to promise me you won’t hurt me like that.”

Pat moved his hands to Janelle’s waist and pulled her closer to him. He kissed her forehead, then each of her eyes, her nose and last her lips which lingered over with his own. Janelle felt the tension and didn’t breathe. The desire to kiss him craved through her body. He slowly looked back into her eyes, without kissing her. That crooked smirk on his face.

“Isn’t that trust is all about?” He asked.