‹ Prequel: Pieces of Truth
Sequel: Nuclear Family ›
Status: Finished March 12, 2013. Check out Nuclear Family!
Sick of Me
Sick of Me
While things had begun to change, Billie and I were still going to counseling. Dr. Krull had suggested that to better communicate we get cell phones. I was extremely hesitant when it came to Billie and new technology because we had recently gotten our first computer, and even though it took me merely a few minutes to get the hang of it, Billie can barely navigate Solitaire.
It was the middle of Rita Mae's winter break from school and a few days before Christmas. The kids were so excited that Santa would be coming soon that they would come down the stairs and check for presents.
Jack was taking a nap and Rita was helping me make gingerbread men when Billie came back from his morning out and about. He came into the kitchen with a bag, setting it on the island counter.
"I got you something, Gray!" Billie pulled a wrapped box out of the bag and handed it to me. I asked what it was and he said that he didn't know and that I should open it. Peeling back the paper, I saw a cell phone that we had looked at a few days earlier. I opened the box and turned it on, noticing that it already had two contacts in the little address book, 'Home' and 'Other Half.'
"Who is this?" I pressed the little green phone button and I heard a ringing from near by. Billie pulled a phone out of his pocket and answered so I could hear the echo of his voice through the phone. I laughed as he told me that he had the guy at the store put the name in just for me.
"See, you're in mine too!" Billie pointed to where it said 'Other Half' too.
"Very clever."
"We have to give everyone our numbers soon… My mom, your dad, Mike, Tre…" Billie ran down the list and I nodded, putting the pan of gingerbread men in the oven and setting the timer.
"Daddy, is it time for piano yet?" Rita interrupted our talk, licking frosting off of her fingers. Billie had been teaching her to play piano and she loved it. It was their father-daughter bonding time.
"I thought we were making gingerbread men!"
Rita shrugged and said that dad was home now.
"You can't play with sticky fingers!" Billie made her heave a sigh, then giggle as he picked her up so she could wash her hands in the sink.
[Billie Joe]
Rita Mae sat on my lap at the piano as we went over the last few scales I had taught her.
"You've been nice to Momma. You took my advice…"
I watched her small hands follow mine over the keys and I nodded.
"It was very good advice." I taught her 'Fur Elise' like she had asked and when we were taking a break she asked me about my tattoos.
"Why does it look like someone drew all over you?" Rita Mae's tiny fingers traced over the star on my hand. She always asked me this kind of stuff. I think she just liked listening to me talk.
"Someone did draw on me. Lots of people have drawn on me."
She licked her hand and tried to rub the red star off and I laughed, telling her that she knew it wouldn't come off.
"Can you draw on me?" Rita Mae leaned her head back so her eyes could meet mine and I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.
"Babydoll, I'll draw on you with marker. We'll talk when you're older about the other kind… Way older."
"Ok! I'll get my markers!"
[Grace]
A few hours after Billie Joe and Rita Mae had disappeared into the basement, the little girl came running up the stairs and into the living room covered in Crayola marker.
"Look! I have tattoos just like Daddy!"
Jack and I had been doing a puzzle on the floor, so Rita stood a little above eye level to me, showing off her art.
"We did one like yours too!" She pointed to a drawing of hot pink lips on her arm and I laughed.
"Those are beautiful! Did your dad draw everything?"
As she nodded enthusiastically I looked over her sleeves of anchors, hearts, stars, and music notes. Rita told me that Billie had fallen asleep when she was putting her markers away and I got an idea.
"How would you two like to color on dad?" I watched Jack and Rita's eyes light up with a devious gleam that I always had associated with Billie and the similarity scared me a little.
"You have to be very quiet though!" I led them downstairs with the markers to the snoozing Billie and held my finger to my lips to remind them to be quiet as we drew.
Rita colored Billie's nails red while Jack carefully scribbled on one of the free spaces on his arm and I drew a handlebar mustache on his face. Billie was usually somewhat of a heavy sleeper so I wasn't surprised that he barely even moved under our touches.
When we finished I took them upstairs so we could wait for him to get up.
"Don't tell him! We want to see his face when he finds out himself!" I reminded the giggling Rita and Jack to try and act normal.
Billie came up from the basement when I was making breakfast for dinner and I had to fight back my laughter when I saw him.
"Did you have a good nap?" Rita Mae asked from the stool at the counter. She and Jack were watching me make pancakes.
"Yeah. Sorry I fell asleep! I didn't even realize it!" Billie filled the seat next to Rita and sat his chin on his hands to watch me cook too.
"Daddy, I think you have stuff on your face…" Jack sped up the process because Billie was taking too long to figure it out himself apparently.
Billie ran his fingers over his face and shrugged when he didn't feel anything. Then he noticed his red nails and the drawing on his arm.
"What the…" He got up and looked in the closest mirror to see the lovely mustache.
At first I wasn't sure how Billie would react, but I saw a smile cross his face as he came back to the counter.
"You guys are pretty funny." He laughed as he pretended to stroke his fake stache, making the kids giggle.
---
Christmas Eve the kids were asleep and I was wrapping presents in the bedroom. Billie was sitting on the bed watching the news while I sat on the hardwood floor writing 'To Jack' or 'To Rita Mae' 'From Santa' on all of the tags to stick on everything I've wrapped. I overheard the anchor mention Winona Ryder so I looked up at the TV. I asked Billie if he had talked to her since her arrest earlier in the month and he said no.
"I can't believe she's getting this much shit for shoplifting."
"She stole $5,500 worth of clothes, Billie, not a case of Pabst."
He muttered something about her being a klepto and I smacked his leg from my spot on the floor.
"She's our friend, don't be a dick. now help me take these all downstairs and eat those damn cookies."
At 5:30 a.m. I heard whispers at the foot of the bed and I smiled to myself. I loved seeing the looks on their faces on Christmas morning.
"Uh.. Momma? Dad? Santa's been here!!" Rita gently tugged on our feet and I sat up, watching them. I could tell they had been up since at least five because they were wide awake.
"He brought lots of presents!" Jack pulled himself up onto the bed and tapped Billie's shoulder.
"Get up Daddy! We saw presents for you too!"
Billie glanced over to me with a questioning look and I shrugged.
"Let's go see what Santa brought! Go start sorting and we'll be right down."
Jack and Rita Mae nodded, running down stairs while Billie and I got out of bed. I brushed my teeth and pulled on a pair of sweat pants then headed down the stairs with Billie following close behind. Halfway down the steps he pulled me to a stop.
"What?" I turned around and saw a smirk on his face, a sprig of mistletoe in his hand as he held it up.
"Oh.. I see." I felt my cheeks turn pink as I stood on my tip toes to give him a kiss that he gladly returned. I pulled away and laughed, telling him to come on because the kids weren't going to wait forever.
It's fascinating to watch children open up gifts, no matter what holiday or occasion. The look on their faces after seeing every toy car or stuffed animal was worth all the fighting we had to face at the stores during the previous weeks. While Jack and Rita were investigation their new things, I had Billie sit by the decorated and lit up tree with me. I handed him his presents and he slid over mine.
"I didn't think you got anything for me…" He began to unwrap one and I watched.
"Me either, actually."
Billie's eyes lit up and he uttered a 'no way' at the sight of the autographed copy of The Who's "Live at Leeds" vinyl.
"How did you get this?"
"It came into the store and I knew it was meant for you."
He unwrapped the other things I had gotten him, socks, underwear, and a bunch of fun ties. He always complained about how the dryer ate his socks and he never had clean underwear, so I think Santa's got him covered for a while.
"Well this makes my gift seem lame." He handed me a smaller sized, poorly wrapped box that I opened carefully.
"It's so pretty…" I pulled the dark red and black rosary out and held it gently. We weren't super into religion, but Billie was really spiritual and loved learning about different religions so this made sense to me.
"It's for you to know that I have faith in us no matter what, alright?"
I nodded, wrapping my arms around him for a warm hug and leaning my head on his chest, trying to take in this step forward and think of ways to keep from going backwards.
It was the middle of Rita Mae's winter break from school and a few days before Christmas. The kids were so excited that Santa would be coming soon that they would come down the stairs and check for presents.
Jack was taking a nap and Rita was helping me make gingerbread men when Billie came back from his morning out and about. He came into the kitchen with a bag, setting it on the island counter.
"I got you something, Gray!" Billie pulled a wrapped box out of the bag and handed it to me. I asked what it was and he said that he didn't know and that I should open it. Peeling back the paper, I saw a cell phone that we had looked at a few days earlier. I opened the box and turned it on, noticing that it already had two contacts in the little address book, 'Home' and 'Other Half.'
"Who is this?" I pressed the little green phone button and I heard a ringing from near by. Billie pulled a phone out of his pocket and answered so I could hear the echo of his voice through the phone. I laughed as he told me that he had the guy at the store put the name in just for me.
"See, you're in mine too!" Billie pointed to where it said 'Other Half' too.
"Very clever."
"We have to give everyone our numbers soon… My mom, your dad, Mike, Tre…" Billie ran down the list and I nodded, putting the pan of gingerbread men in the oven and setting the timer.
"Daddy, is it time for piano yet?" Rita interrupted our talk, licking frosting off of her fingers. Billie had been teaching her to play piano and she loved it. It was their father-daughter bonding time.
"I thought we were making gingerbread men!"
Rita shrugged and said that dad was home now.
"You can't play with sticky fingers!" Billie made her heave a sigh, then giggle as he picked her up so she could wash her hands in the sink.
[Billie Joe]
Rita Mae sat on my lap at the piano as we went over the last few scales I had taught her.
"You've been nice to Momma. You took my advice…"
I watched her small hands follow mine over the keys and I nodded.
"It was very good advice." I taught her 'Fur Elise' like she had asked and when we were taking a break she asked me about my tattoos.
"Why does it look like someone drew all over you?" Rita Mae's tiny fingers traced over the star on my hand. She always asked me this kind of stuff. I think she just liked listening to me talk.
"Someone did draw on me. Lots of people have drawn on me."
She licked her hand and tried to rub the red star off and I laughed, telling her that she knew it wouldn't come off.
"Can you draw on me?" Rita Mae leaned her head back so her eyes could meet mine and I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.
"Babydoll, I'll draw on you with marker. We'll talk when you're older about the other kind… Way older."
"Ok! I'll get my markers!"
[Grace]
A few hours after Billie Joe and Rita Mae had disappeared into the basement, the little girl came running up the stairs and into the living room covered in Crayola marker.
"Look! I have tattoos just like Daddy!"
Jack and I had been doing a puzzle on the floor, so Rita stood a little above eye level to me, showing off her art.
"We did one like yours too!" She pointed to a drawing of hot pink lips on her arm and I laughed.
"Those are beautiful! Did your dad draw everything?"
As she nodded enthusiastically I looked over her sleeves of anchors, hearts, stars, and music notes. Rita told me that Billie had fallen asleep when she was putting her markers away and I got an idea.
"How would you two like to color on dad?" I watched Jack and Rita's eyes light up with a devious gleam that I always had associated with Billie and the similarity scared me a little.
"You have to be very quiet though!" I led them downstairs with the markers to the snoozing Billie and held my finger to my lips to remind them to be quiet as we drew.
Rita colored Billie's nails red while Jack carefully scribbled on one of the free spaces on his arm and I drew a handlebar mustache on his face. Billie was usually somewhat of a heavy sleeper so I wasn't surprised that he barely even moved under our touches.
When we finished I took them upstairs so we could wait for him to get up.
"Don't tell him! We want to see his face when he finds out himself!" I reminded the giggling Rita and Jack to try and act normal.
Billie came up from the basement when I was making breakfast for dinner and I had to fight back my laughter when I saw him.
"Did you have a good nap?" Rita Mae asked from the stool at the counter. She and Jack were watching me make pancakes.
"Yeah. Sorry I fell asleep! I didn't even realize it!" Billie filled the seat next to Rita and sat his chin on his hands to watch me cook too.
"Daddy, I think you have stuff on your face…" Jack sped up the process because Billie was taking too long to figure it out himself apparently.
Billie ran his fingers over his face and shrugged when he didn't feel anything. Then he noticed his red nails and the drawing on his arm.
"What the…" He got up and looked in the closest mirror to see the lovely mustache.
At first I wasn't sure how Billie would react, but I saw a smile cross his face as he came back to the counter.
"You guys are pretty funny." He laughed as he pretended to stroke his fake stache, making the kids giggle.
---
Christmas Eve the kids were asleep and I was wrapping presents in the bedroom. Billie was sitting on the bed watching the news while I sat on the hardwood floor writing 'To Jack' or 'To Rita Mae' 'From Santa' on all of the tags to stick on everything I've wrapped. I overheard the anchor mention Winona Ryder so I looked up at the TV. I asked Billie if he had talked to her since her arrest earlier in the month and he said no.
"I can't believe she's getting this much shit for shoplifting."
"She stole $5,500 worth of clothes, Billie, not a case of Pabst."
He muttered something about her being a klepto and I smacked his leg from my spot on the floor.
"She's our friend, don't be a dick. now help me take these all downstairs and eat those damn cookies."
At 5:30 a.m. I heard whispers at the foot of the bed and I smiled to myself. I loved seeing the looks on their faces on Christmas morning.
"Uh.. Momma? Dad? Santa's been here!!" Rita gently tugged on our feet and I sat up, watching them. I could tell they had been up since at least five because they were wide awake.
"He brought lots of presents!" Jack pulled himself up onto the bed and tapped Billie's shoulder.
"Get up Daddy! We saw presents for you too!"
Billie glanced over to me with a questioning look and I shrugged.
"Let's go see what Santa brought! Go start sorting and we'll be right down."
Jack and Rita Mae nodded, running down stairs while Billie and I got out of bed. I brushed my teeth and pulled on a pair of sweat pants then headed down the stairs with Billie following close behind. Halfway down the steps he pulled me to a stop.
"What?" I turned around and saw a smirk on his face, a sprig of mistletoe in his hand as he held it up.
"Oh.. I see." I felt my cheeks turn pink as I stood on my tip toes to give him a kiss that he gladly returned. I pulled away and laughed, telling him to come on because the kids weren't going to wait forever.
It's fascinating to watch children open up gifts, no matter what holiday or occasion. The look on their faces after seeing every toy car or stuffed animal was worth all the fighting we had to face at the stores during the previous weeks. While Jack and Rita were investigation their new things, I had Billie sit by the decorated and lit up tree with me. I handed him his presents and he slid over mine.
"I didn't think you got anything for me…" He began to unwrap one and I watched.
"Me either, actually."
Billie's eyes lit up and he uttered a 'no way' at the sight of the autographed copy of The Who's "Live at Leeds" vinyl.
"How did you get this?"
"It came into the store and I knew it was meant for you."
He unwrapped the other things I had gotten him, socks, underwear, and a bunch of fun ties. He always complained about how the dryer ate his socks and he never had clean underwear, so I think Santa's got him covered for a while.
"Well this makes my gift seem lame." He handed me a smaller sized, poorly wrapped box that I opened carefully.
"It's so pretty…" I pulled the dark red and black rosary out and held it gently. We weren't super into religion, but Billie was really spiritual and loved learning about different religions so this made sense to me.
"It's for you to know that I have faith in us no matter what, alright?"
I nodded, wrapping my arms around him for a warm hug and leaning my head on his chest, trying to take in this step forward and think of ways to keep from going backwards.