Sick of Me

It was nearly 3 a.m. on January 7th when the phone rang, and I answered it assuming that it was Billie Joe calling. He had been out all night and it wasn't unusual of him, but I was still a little worried.

"Is this Grace Armstrong?" An authoritative voice was on the other line. I replied groggily that it was.

"This is Officer Randy Phelps. We pulled your husband over at one am for swerving and we're charging him with driving while intoxicated because his blood alcohol content was .18."

"Oh wow… When can I come pick him up?"

"In the morning, ma'am. His bail is set at $1,200."

"Okay. I'll be in around eight thirty."

"We'll see you then. Have a nice night."

I thanked the officer and hung up, running my hands over my face. What the hell was he thinking, driving drunk?

[Third Person]

Grace didn't want to bring her kids to pick their father up from jail so she dropped them off with Ollie before heading over to get him. Running her fingers through her dark hair nervously, Grace entered the police station and approached the first officer she saw.

"Hi, I'm Grace Armstrong.. I'm here to bail out my husband?"

The tall, gray haired officer eyed her curiously, making a comment about how unsure she sounded.

"I haven't been to a police station since I was nineteen." Grace laughed as she remembered being caught drinking with Billie at the Berkeley marina.

The officer led Grace to a counter where she pulled out her check book and posted the $1200 bail. She sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair for nearly an hour while the cops got her husband ready for his release from the drunk tank.

When Billie Joe was led out Grace's heart sank. He looked disheveled and exhausted. His black hair was matted back and dark circles rimmed his bloodshot eyes. Grace nearly jumped out of her seat but she slowly got up and walked over to him, thanking the officers that brought him up. Taking his hand, Grace felt the stubble on his face as she kissed his cheek gently before leading him outside where several reporters were waiting to speak to the couple.

"No comment." Grace tugged Billie along to her car, closing his door before getting in herself and driving off.

"There's water, Advil, and your sunglasses in my purse."

Billie nodded slightly and nothing more was said between the two during the entire ride home.

Grace sat in the kitchen while Billie took a shower, letting the morning's event sink in. She had no idea what to say to Billie once he came down stairs but she had to think fast because he walked in the kitchen silently. He sat beside her and she could smell his shampoo and soap from his still drying body.

"I honestly don't even know what to say, Billie… I'm just disappointed that you put yourself and others in danger like you did."

Billie looked over at Grace, his green eyes watching her demeanor go from one of being complacent to disappointment.

"What if something had happened if you weren't pulled over? I don't know what I'd do without you."

Billie had been thinking about that all night in his jail cell. It plagued his mind and wouldn't let up. Grace didn't mean to be laying on the guilt trip, she was just saying what she felt. She mentioned that the officer had told her that Billie didn't mention his star status during the arrest.

"I don't consider myself a star so why would I tell people I am?"

"Celebrities use their status to get out of bad situations all the time. I'm glad that you didn't though.. We have a lot of damage control do do now."

Billie sighed, leaning his cheek against the cool granite counter top.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" Grace played with his soft hair and Billie closed his eyes, nodding.

"I'm too pretty to be a prison bitch."

A smile crossed Grace's lips and she got up from her seat, telling Billie she was going to tuck him into bed before going to get the kids.

"Will you just lay with me for a bit before getting them?" Billie stared at Grace like a helpless little boy and she gave in.

She walked up stairs with him and once she laid down Billie rested his head on her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him comfortingly.

"I don't say this enough as I should, but I love you Gray."

"I love you too, Beej." This was the first time in nearly a year since those words had been exchanged between the two and they both knew it.

Billie Joe and Grace went to a last minute appointment with Dr. Krull the next day, which was also Rita's first day back at school from winter break. Her birthday was on the twelfth, which was quickly approaching and seven years old was going to be a big deal.

Grace and Billie had been making strides in their relationship but the DUI mixed with Billie's constant drinking was a problem. Grace stared at Billie impatiently in Dr. Krull's office, waiting for him to speak.

[Grace]

Billie hadn't really talked about where he had been the night of his DUI and I was rather curious. He said that he had gone out with the guys but after that he went to a bar by himself.

"Billie, do you ever think you might have an alcohol addiction?" Doug's question made my mouth drop a little. He was basically calling Billie Joe an alcoholic.

"I'm not a drunk, if that's what you're asking. I know the difference between celebrating and partying." Billie's snarky answer seemed to fuel Dr. Krull's questions.

"What were you celebrating then?"

I sat quietly in my chair, waiting for a response.

"I was celebrating life and all that I've worked for."

This banter continued until the end of our appointment, where I had barely spoken a word.

"Do you think I'm an alcoholic, Gray?" Billie and I were out doing some final birthday shopping for Rita Mae after therapy. I was trying to find a few cute pairs of soccer socks to go with the cleats we already bought.

"No… I just think you like to drink and have a good time." Truthfully I wasn't sure if he was an addict or not. He certainly has the personality of an addict in general. He also refers to himself as an alcoholic all the time, but if anyone else does it and it isn't as a joke.. All hell breaks loose.

"Good. That shrink is fucking crazy to say that I'm an addict."

I bit my tongue and picked out some socks for Rita while Billie kept talking.

"Billie Joe, I have to go into Adeline for a bit. They need me to look over some designs for the line…" We were now home with the kids and he looked at me like a lost puppy.

"What? I'll only be gone for a few hours!"

"What am I gonna do till then?"

"Take the kids to the pet store and let Rita Mae pick out that fish you've been promising her. It can be an early birthday present."

[Billie Joe]

When Grace left I told the kids to get their shoes and coats on so we could go out.

"Daddy, I don't want to go anywhere!" Rita stood in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest as she tried to stare me down with those green eyes of hers.

"You wanna know where we're going before you say that?" I mimicked her stance, trying to get her to back down. If she's this hard headed now I can only imagine how she'll be when she's a teenager. Holy shit.

"We're going to the pet store!"

Her entire face lit up after making the connection.

"Really? I get to have a fish!?! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Rita ran over and jumped into my outstretched arms and I picked her up with a laugh.

"Rita Mae gets a fish?" Jack had come down the stairs wearing his light-up Power Ranger shoes and clutching on to his favorite green sweatshirt.

"Yes she does! It's for her birthday!"

Since it was a special occasion I let Rita sit shotgun- something I never allow because I'm way too over protective.

The whole way there she asked me questions about fish.

"How will we know if it's hungry?"

"How much do we feed him?"

"How will we know if it's a boy or girl?"

"Let's just worry about keeping it alive right now, alright?" I laughed at her enthusiasm.

By the time we picked a gold fish, got the bowl, food, and accessories, and drove home, Grace was back.

"What do you have there?" She eagerly inspected the fish in the bag that Rita was holding.

"His name is Turtle!" Rita sure was a zany kid.. Just like us.

"Let's get him in his bowl!"

We all went into the kitchen and stood at the island, getting 'Turtle' ready for his new home.