Sick of Me

To my complete lack of surprise our improving relationship came to a screeching halt on Groundhog day. The morning had been going totally normal and I didn't think anything was out of the ordinary until Billie started freaking out.

"Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring?"

I looked up from blow drying my hair and saw Billie holding my silver band. I had completely forgotten that I had taken it off earlier. He looked enraged and I was more than confused, so I stared at his red face until he elaborated.

"I found it on your desk just sitting there."

I asked what he was doing in my office and he told me not to worry about it.

"Then don't worry about why I wasn't wearing my damn ring."

"This is a big deal, you know. I never take my ring off."

"Never?"

"Never, Grace."

I ran a hand through my damp hair, asking for my ring back.

"No. You can't have it back because you took it off so carelessly."

"Are you serious? Billie fucking Joe, give it to me."

"Not until you tell me why it isn't on in the first place."

I stared at Billie incredulously. I couldn't believe that he was acting so childish; then again, I totally could. He was just being way over dramatic and I didn't understand why.

"After Rita went to school and you left with Jack, I dyed my hair and bleached some of it. Not like you noticed, you were too worked up over the fact that I was trying to keep my ring from getting chemicals on it." I showed Billie the patch of bleach under my bangs above my right eye. Billie said that I had never done it before and I rolled my eyes.

"You're just begging to pick a fight and it's getting on my nerves. Just give it back to me." I held my hand out for my ring and Billie tossed it carelessly. I watched it miss, hit the counter, and bounce into the sink, rolling into the drain. I felt my eyes well up with tears, but I kept them back as I looked at Billie, whose mouth was wide open.

"Get out."

"What?" Billie stared back at me, not sure if he heard correctly.

"Get the fuck out of here, Billie. I can't deal with you right now." I brushed past him and got the tool box from the garage. When I returned to the bedroom Billie was still standing there waiting for me.

"If you don't get out of my sight right now I might do something I'll regret."

Billie left unwillingly and I had to take the pipes under the sink apart so I could retrieve my ring. I was so angry and annoyed that I had to call Tre or else I would have probably raided Billie's liquor stash.

Within the hour Tre was at the house and we were standing outside on the back patio while I drank a bottle of water and calmed down in the cool air. I couldn't find any cigarettes so I figured Billie must have taken them with him.

"He just freaked out at me. I took the thing off to dye my hair. I've done it before and he's seen me do it, I know he has. He's just making it into some huge deal." I hadn't put my ring back on yet… It was sitting on my dresser in some cleaner until I calmed down.

"Well he's serious about his commitment to you. Maybe he thinks you don't feel the same."

"That's such bullshit though. If I weren't committed I would have left a long time ago. I wouldn't be so set on making things work if I wasn't committed to this. Things were going so well. I think Billie wanted to start a fight just for the hell of it."

"Maybe he's testing the waters?" Tre told me about how Billie was probably just trying to get us in a fight to see how well we bounce back.

"Well that's stupid of him." We went back into the kitchen and I started making a pot of coffee.

"Actually, I think it's pretty smart. Don't worry Gracie, it'll all be ok!" Tre pulled me into a suffocating, bone crushing hug that made me laugh.

---

Tre stayed for lunch and around the usual time I had to go to the bus stop, he came with me. We stood there, waiting in the cold and singing stupid songs until the bus came. I watched until Rita Mae skipped off the bus and just seeing her brightened my day.

"Uncle Tre!" She ran towards us, dropping her backpack and jumping into Tre's arms.

"Hey Rita Mae! How was school?" Tre let out a chuckle and spun her around, making the girl giggle.

I picked up her Squirtle backpack and walked beside Tre as he and Rita chatted.

"Andy and I were playing soccer today at recess and he fell and scraped his knee." Rita Mae's best friend, Andrew, was a cute little kid. He was blond and had bright blue eyes. He lived close to the elementary school and the two were inseparable. It reminded me of Billie and myself.

"Oh yeah? Is he okay?" Rita looked at me and nodded.

"I took him to the nurse.. Oh! Can Andy come over to play after school Friday?" She gave Tre a pleading look and he shrugged.

"Don't ask me! You gotta talk to your mom!" They both looked at me with silly faces and I laughed.

"I don't see why not! Andy is always is welcome to come over!" I could see the excitement in Rita's eyes after I said yes.

When we got to the house she practically sprinted inside to call her best friend.

"She's just like you." Tre laughed as I blushed. I was busy taking my shoes off while he stood there grinning.

"Yeah well she's a lot like her dad too."

"I know. I see it in her eyes. She's good, but she has his mischievous need to be different."

"Oh trust me, I know. That's why she spends so much time with Billie. Instead of dolls and tea parties, her best friend is a boy and they play soccer."

Tre stayed a bit longer then had to go take Ramona to the dentist and not long after he had left, Billie came home with Jack.

"Hey baby!" I smiled at Jack, ruffling his shaggy brown hair and mentioning that he needed it cut.

"He likes it, Grace." Billie set his keys on the table in the foyer and I shot him a look.

"I wasn't talking to you."

"Great! Now you're mad at each other again?!" Rita Mae was standing a few stairs off of the main floor and I looked at her apologetically.

"No, we're fine honey."

"Don't lie, Grace. She's smarter than that." Billie shot me a look and I knew he was right.

"Okay, yes. Dad and I aren't getting along but we'll be fine. We always are."

Rita Mae looked at us skeptically until she shook her head and continued into the kitchen with her coloring book and massive box of crayons.

"Jack, go color with your sister." Billie's stern words left no room for argument and Jack wandered into the kitchen to sit beside Rita at the table.

"You. Come with me."

I didn't even reply, I just followed Billie to our room.

"I'm sorry I threw your ring." I listened to see if his apology seemed forced, but it didn't for once.

"What's done is done. I got it out of the pipes." We looked at each other and I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Was this some sort of test?"

"Huh?" Billie told me that he was genuinely hurt, but after cooling off he realized that he had blown things out of proportion.

I grabbed my ring out of the little cup off of my dresser, telling him that I was letting it sanitize after being in the drain.

"I wear this because it's a symbol of our commitment. Just because I took it off for a few hours doesn't change a thing."

"I know that…"

"Then why did you get so riled up?"

Billie shrugged and sighed, saying that he wasn't totally used to things going well between us.

"How are things supposed to get better if we don't let them?"

Billie shrugged again and I shook my head.

"Whatever. Rita's friend Andrew is coming over Friday, so I'm gonna clean up around the house. Will you make the kids' snacks?"

He nodded silently, leaving the room and I quickly slipped my ring on before getting to work.