Sick of Me

[Grace]

I had let Rita and Jack keep their crazy hair colors despite my annoyance with Tre. A lot of people liked it, but it seemed that my little girl's hair style wasn't well received by everyone. About two weeks had passed now and the hair dye was fading, and Rita Mae came home from school with the most miserable look on her face and tears in her eyes. I waited until we got home from the bus stop to ask what was wrong, but she said that she wanted to talk to Billie.

"He's not home, sweetie. He went out."

Rita asked if she could call him and I nodded, following her into the kitchen and dialing the number for her.

"Daddy? Where are you right now?" Rita's soft voice asked him as soon as he said 'hello'. I had put Billie on speaker phone so I could hear him and his response was quick.

"I'm at a store dropping off a few guitars. Why?" He sounded confused by her sad tone.

"Can you come home? Please?"

"I- yeah, baby doll. I'll be there as soon as I can, alright?"

I picked up the phone from speaker and held it to my ear.

"Hey Beej, it's me. She's just really upset for some reason and wants you."

"That's what it sounds like. I gotta finish up here real quick then I'll be home."

I told him that I'd see him soon, then we both hung up.

[Billie Joe]

When I got home I wasn't sure what to expect from Rita Mae. I hated hearing her so upset and I hated it even more when I got home and found her in her bedroom, sprawled out on the floor staring up at the ceiling. I laid on the floor next Rita and waited for her to start talking. It wasn't long before she let out a light sigh and asked why she felt like her insides were all tangled up.

"I dunno. What happened at school today?"

"Andy said that he can't play with me anymore because his mom says he can't."

"And why is that?" I tried to hide my anger behind my calm, inquisitive voice, but these Perry people were pissing me off.

"Mrs. Perry saw my blue hair the other day when she picked Andy up from school and she gave me a really mean look and left with him."

I could tell she was trying her best not to cry… I don't know where she got her will power from or why she thought it wasn't ok to cry.

"It's alright, baby doll, you can cry." I took her hand and looked at her fingers, running my rough fingers over her soft ones until she pulled away.

"I don't get why Mrs. Perry doesn't like me. Andy doesn't know either. I just want to be his friend."

"Honey, I don't know why people do what they do. Do you want me to talk to Mrs. Perry and find out? You know I will…"

"I don't want to make things worse…" It was obvious that she thought I would be doing just that by confronting the woman.

"Trust me, doing nothing makes things worse." I was merely speaking from experience and I think she knew that.

"Okay Daddy. Just don't make her even more mad, please?" Rita Mae was sitting up now and looking at me helplessly. She clearly had no idea what to do, even if she was mature for her young age.

"Andy is my only best friend."

"I know baby doll, I know."

I looked and saw Grace in the doorway with her car keys, motioning toward the stairs.

"Hey, let me go make a phone call, alright?" Rita eyed me carefully and nodded, tugging me so I was sitting up and she gave me an enormous hug, telling me that she loved me.

I went into the hall and followed Grace down stairs, asking how much she had heard.

"I heard a bit of the end. She really trusts you, so don't mess things up."

"Gee thanks for all your faith in me." Grace gave me a serious look, saying that I knew better, which I did. She's the one person that always has and always will believe in me.

"I'm gonna go get Jack then hit the store to find something for dinner. You do your thing, okay?"

She went to kiss my cheek but I did what I always do and turned my head so she would catch my lips, and like usual she giggled and I kissed her again. We were going to see Dr. Krull once a week now and he always reiterated how we needed to do more of the little things, like showing affection whether we
were in public or at home. The less I thought about it, the better it got.

"Show that rude bitch who's boss." I laughed as Grace left and I went into the kitchen to find Rita's school phone book.

When the woman finally answered, my protective parent mode, that I didn't even really think I had, kicked into high gear. I didn't even want to be polite to her.

"Patricia? Yeah, this is Billie Joe, Rita Mae's dad? My little girl came home today, devastated that you told your son that he can't be friends with her." I leaned against the counter, formulating my next move while she responded.

"Look, Rita is a sweet girl and all, but I just don't think Andrew should be around her influences."

"You mean me. Don't sugar coat it." Patty sighed and I let out a laugh, knowing I was right.

"Yes, I mean you. My husband and I know what you do for a living… Andrew talks about it non stop. We don't condone that kind of lifestyle."

"So you think my house is one huge rock star hangout? You think I do drugs and get wasted in front of my kids? Listen lady, you've got me all wrong." I heard her gasp, but I kept at it.

"I know I'm nowhere near perfect, but I try my best as a parent and it kills me to see Rita Mae so broken up over the fact that her best friend's mom doesn't approve of my job. You don't get a say in what I do, and I frankly don't give a rat's ass if you don't like me. Don't take your bullshit 'morals' and 'values' out on my daughter or your son."

Patricia scoffed, telling me that I was one to talk about morals.

"I'm sorry you think that way. We don't have to be friends. Hell, I wouldn't be talking to you if it weren't for my daughter being so broken up over this. We can at least be civil for the sake of Rita and Andy. They're great friends."

"I agree with you there… Those kids are close. I'll tell Andrew that I changed my mind."

"Thanks Patricia. It means a lot to Grace and me."
"Yeah.. Just don't make me regret this, Billie Joe."

---

I waited until after dinner to tell Rita Mae the good news.

"Really? Andy and I can still be friends?" When I nodded, Rita hugged me and I lifted her up, kissing her cheek.

Grace seemed pretty proud of me too. Things had been going really well since our day together in the studio. We had really let our emotions toward each other go in the form of music and it truly was amazing how well it worked for us. I played songs I had written for her about how I had been feeling and she had responded with songs of her own. It was a lot better than talking for some strange reason… It was our own kind of therapy that probably wouldn't have worked for anybody else.

I was making the kids' lunches for tomorrow after they were in bed and Grace was sitting at the counter, writing a little note for Rita's lunch.

"I'm surprised you got Patricia to budge."

I shrugged, saying that I helped her see the light. Grace let out a laugh and I noticed her glow now more than ever.

"I bet you charmed her like you always do."

"You're really beautiful, y'know?" I saw her blush as she muttered about my charm. I asked when her next check up for the baby was and she confirmed that it was on Monday. For some reason I loved going to those appointments with her; I always have and I didn't get why.

"Well, you made Rita Mae very happy today, I'll give you that. I don't care what you said to that crazy woman."

"I'd do anything in my power for those two kids… And you know I would move heaven and Earth for you, y'know."

She nodded, folding up the little note for Rita into an origami swan and handed it to me so I could stick it in the girl's green lunch box. It was a habit of hers, these notes. I know she probably didn't care if Rita appreciated them or not, it was the fact that Grace was doing something that her mother had done for her.

"She would be proud of you, you know."

Grace looked at me curiously.

"Gloria, I mean."

"Oh, thanks. I like to think she would be too. Your father would be over the moon if he saw how you turned out."

I let out a chuckle, saying that he would probably have had a heart attack because of my actions and life choices, but I think he would be proud of me none the less.