Sick of Me

Playing cards was our new thing. Everywhere we went, Billie and I played games. We would stay up until three in the morning on that damn bus and it was doing wonders for us. Instead of bickering over everything, we saved up our comments and annoyances and took them out on each other during our ruthless games. Of course, we added in some wagers to make it more interesting though.

Billie now had to cut back on his drinking and I had to let Jack make a couple more appearances on stage, and since we each lost and won our bets fair and square, I wasn't bothered because Billie wasn't going behind my back with Jack. Being on this tour had taken my mind off of the miscarriage, but it was still in the back of mind and it still got to me. Billie did his best to be comforting and we discussed it while we played cards, but it just wasn't helping at the moment.

On a rainy morning of one of the last few sound checks of tour, I was feeling really down. I hummed along as Billie sang a few lines of Waiting while he messed around with his equipment. I had Jack in my arms as I stood in front of the stage and I rubbed his back soothingly. He was my tired, groggy baby and I needed to focus on him and Rita Mae.

"Gracieee. Something's off with my snare and I just can't figure it out! Help me!" Tre spoke loudly into his microphone, making me jump.

I said that I'd be right over, so I brought Jack up with me and I put him down on the stage. He immediately ran over to Billie Joe, who ruffled his curly hair with a loving smile. Rita was off playing with Ramona, which wasn't a surprise anymore.

I sat on Tre's stool, getting used to his setup before tapping the snare and kicking the bass pedal a few times.

"I think it might be too tight." I inspected the snare closely, mumbling about how it may have been dented or something.

Tre, the drum tech, and I finally figured the problem out and Tre gave me a huge hug.

"Thanks, Gracie!"

I told him that it was no trouble as I made my way to the edge of the stage and sat down, letting my legs dangle freely. I was exhausted and needed a nap if I was going to make it through tonight's show. I saw that Jack was tired too, so I told Billie that we were going to take a nap before grabbing my little boy's hand and saying it was nap time.

"Alright. I'll see you two in a bit. Sweet dreams!" Billie waved at Jack, who blew him a big kiss as we headed to the bus.

Jack curled up with me in bed and I was trying to fall asleep when he asked me something.

"Momma, when are me and Rita Mae gonna get a new brother or sister" His green eyes bore into mine and I wanted to cry. He had been so excited when Billie told him about it before he left for tour.

"Honey… Grandma and I already told you. There isn't going to be a baby anymore." It was tough figuring out how to tell the kids in the first place, but to explain it again…

"Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm sorry Momma." He gave me a hug and I rubbed his back, saying that it was okay. Jack fell asleep not long after, and I quickly followed suit.

---

I was having some creepy dream about touring with my band in abandoned warehouses when Billie woke me up for dinner. We woke Jack up together, and when we went to the front of the bus I saw Rita, Ramona, Stella, Tre, and Mike playing Go Fish.

"I want to watch the Blink set with you tonight. Is that alright?" Billie usually never wanted to watch any of the other bands, so I was surprised when he asked me. He stood behind me now as I got a bottle of water from the fridge and when I closed the door, he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Just you and me… I'll make sure the kids are being watched." He was leaning into me as he spoke, making sure I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

"Jesus, you make it sound like we're going on some big date."

"We can make it into whatever you want it to be, Gray." Billie leaned around and kissed my cheek before going to sit with everyone in the booth.

Jack made an appearance tonight and was well received by the show goers. His enthusiasm and all around adorable-ness kept everyone more than entertained during King for a Day. I wasn't as worried this time, watching Jack make his way around the stage like it was second nature. I had this feeling that he was going to be a performer no matter what. It was harder to tell with Rita Mae though. She wasn't as outgoing per say, but she had a knack for rhythm and music. I was lost in thought and before I knew it, Jack was by my side and asking if I had seen him.

"Of course, baby! You were amazing out there!" He smiled widely, making me laugh.

Billie Joe and I stood side by side, his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist, as we watched Blink 182's opening song.

"You really didn't want to watch this whole set with me, did you?"

Billie shot me a smirk and I knew that he had other plans.

"You know me better than that!"

I laughed, lacing my fingers with his as he took my hand and led me off to who knows where. We were in Tinley Park, Illinois, so I had no clue as to what Billie had planned.

He led me out through the back of the outdoor venue, hailing a taxi as soon as he saw one on the street. Before I had the chance to ask where we were going, Billie asked the driver to take us to the closest bowling alley.

"Billie Joe! Bowling? You know I'm terrible!"

"Come on. One frame! It'll be awesome." He kissed my cheek and I groaned in annoyance, giving in.

Lacing up my two-tone bowling shoes, I looked Billie up and down. He was still in the t-shirt and Dickies he had worn during his set and he was dancing around in his suave shoes, telling me to check out his balls. I saw the two bowling balls in his arms and couldn't contain my laughter.

"I'm gonna need a pitcher of beer or two if I'm gonna get through this frame." I went and got a pitcher of cheap beer and sat down to watch Billie bowl a spare.

"Come on, Grace! It's your turn!" He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, giving me a rough kiss.

"I hate you." I muttered against his lips, making him smirk and slap my ass as I walked away. I picked up my ball, sliding my fingers in place and taking my shot. I watched it roll down the lane and crash into the pins, knocking them all down.

My mouth dropped as I turned to face Billie, who came and lifted me up, spinning me around in a circle. I think I was starting to like this whole bowling thing.

We stumbled out of the bowling alley a little after midnight, not long after Mike had called to say that we needed to get back so the buses could leave. Catching a cab, Billie and I were all over each other like a couple of drunk teenager up until we got to our destination. Before getting on the bus, I straightened out my clothes and noticed that Billie was still wearing the bowling shoes, his Chuck Taylors in his left hand.

"You stole those?!" I giggled, taking his free hand and pulling him onto the bus with me, where Mike and Tre were waiting up like concerned parents.

"Nooo, they gave them to me!" Billie rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around me and planting a hard kiss on my lips.

"You both need to go to bed before you wake up the kids." Mike stared at us thoughtfully and Tre was just laughing.

"Yes, mom." We rolled our eyes at Mike and bid Tre goodnight before heading to bed so we could make out in private.