Practice Makes Perfect.

I sat looking at the phone and thought about calling Jon. I felt like crap and I felt like I made the situation worse with Patrick by telling him part of my past. That's probably why he kissed that girl. Or she kissed him. That's what he said and I trusted him for the most part. He had never lied to me, that I knew of. Would calling Jon be like cheating? Were Pat and I even like, together? I had a million questions racing in my head and even though everything bad was happening, in the back of my head all I could think of was the paper I was just assigned in my ethics class. I decided to call Jon. He had told me and I should at least tell him what happened. “Hello?” He answered. “Hey, it's Blaine.” I said. “Are you okay?” He asked me. “Uhm, Pat came over.” I said laughing. “I asked him about how he hit on that girl and he's all like, “she kissed me first, she was so trashed” and all this crap.” I said. “What? I had no idea he even did that.” Jon said. “Well, like after all that I told him about what happened a few years ago. I think I scared him off more.” I said. “Don't blame yourself if he's going to act immature.” He said. “Whatever. I'm just like, tired of being alone. I need a walk.” I said. “Let's go for a walk then.” He said. “Jon, it's like eleven thirty.” I said. “So what? I'll be outside your place in ten minutes.” He said and hung up. I went and put my UGG boots on, a coat, a hat, and my gloves on and walked outside where I saw Jon walking up towards me. “Let's walk.” Jon said looking at me and nodding. We walked down block after block for a while and said nothing until I spoke up again. “Thank you, for walking with me.” I said quietly. “You don't need to thank me. He said. “I miss being a kid, or whatever I was when we were younger. I worried about my AP US History class and whether or not I was able to go out on Friday nights. Now, I'm worried about college classes and guys and how I'll pay for life after college.” I said. “You don't have to worry alone.” Jon said. “I know that but I just, I'm sick of feeling stressed all the time.” I said. “I know what it's like to have everyone look at you when you're not doing well. But of course, when you do fine, when that's good enough, no one gives you the recognition you deserve.” He said. “I know it's hard on you too, Jon.” I said. “I feel so selfish going on about myself while you have it way worse than me.” I finished laughing. “We both have it rough.” He said. “What do I do now, Jon. I just have no clue.” I said. “Make him jealous.” Jon said. “What?” I asked stopping. “Make him jealous. Look good and flirt with other guys.” He said. “While I still date him?” I asked him. “Just tell him you want to be friends. It's the only way to make him understand he could lose you.” He said. “You're right, I guess.” I said. “Look, go to a club tomorrow and I'll make sure Patrick is there. Just look good and find a nice guy.” He said. “I never knew you were such a cynical person.” I said laughing. “I don't know if this is a good idea though. I just, wouldn't feel right about it.” I said. “It's your choice. Just putting in my opinion.” He said. We walked back to my apartment and Jon walked me up to my small place. We stood outside my door and I looked at him. “Do you ever wonder if things would have been different when we were kids?” He asked me. “You mean, between us?” I asked him. “Yeah, like if I would have asked you out that night at the bonfire.” He said. “Sometimes. But would you have really wanted to be with me?” I asked him. “If it would have saved you from your last boyfriend, then yes. I think no matter what I would have wanted to try.” He said laughing. “I hope I'm not making things worse by hanging out with you.” I said. “That stuff is in the past, Blaine. We're good friends. I like having you around.” He said. I wasn't sure if I believed him. I got up on my toes and gave him a kiss on the lips. He put his hand on my cheek and I could feel his warmth against me. I stopped because I was worried I might not be able to. “You are a good friend, Jon.” I said smiling. He stood there stunned before a smile spread across his face. “Good night and thank you.” I said. He said the same thing to me and I went into my apartment. I went over to the window where I saw Jon put his forehead on his car and look out at the city. I was wondering if I screwed up big time.